Chapter 15 Night Sky

It was two in the morning and yet Hanbin was still wide awake. It was not unusual for him to still be up at this time. He always stays up late thinking about his music or writing songs however this time he was not busy composing or doing any of those things, his mind kept replaying the events that transpired this afternoon. Hanbin’s thoughts kept on repeating from the moment he was giving Dahyun his gift, a box of hair ties he thought would suit her, to the moment he saw Yunhyeong with Chanwoo. He kept on pondering on how Yunhyeong just waved and smiled at them, giving Hanbin a thumbs up and not-so-subtle wink like he was doing a good job, instead of being frozen on his spot every time he would saw the two of them together. He wondered why he was disappointed by it, why he was upset about Yunhyeong’s reaction, why he felt sad on the way Yunhyeong’s eyes look at him now and why Hanbin was now the one left frozen on his spot when he saw how Yunhyeong and Chanwoo smiled at each other like they were sharing something Hanbin was not a part of.

“Sunbae,” Hanbin remembered Dahyun calling his attention back that time and how with a tap on his shoulder, she said in her soft calming voice while looking at him with some sort of conviction, “Go.”

Hanbin didn’t need to be told twice. He instantly shoots off and chase after the two. He remembered the confused look on their face when he announced that he will be coming with them to play games. He won’t forget how he felt smug on how Chanwoo looked disgruntled especially when Hanbin insinuated himself in between them. It was not like he was also fond of the idea, but Hanbin felt much better to be next to the younger guy than Yunhyeong and Chanwoo next to each other.

The three of them went on awkwardly like that up until to the pc room with Hanbin making it his mission to come in between anything Yunhyeong and Chanwooo did, even in the games they played, even with the three of them were in the same team. It was just too bad that it turned out that Chanwoo was so good on every game that they tried and Hanbin was not. He was so annoyed on how Yunhyeong had every time his character died easily or when he caught Chanwoo discreetly smiling at his humiliation or the proud look that his hyung gave the youngest of them whenever he carried the game for them. He hated the fact that, on that time, he felt so out of place as if it was part his hyung to which he was not included. He never felt that way whenever he was with Yunhyeong. He never did, until this afternoon.

Why does he feel this way?

Why is he about to lose a night sleep because of this?

And why does he want Yunhyeong’s attention at two in the morning just to tell him that it was nothing?

As all the question and thoughts came to him, Hanbin slowly crawled out of his bed and tip-toed over Yunhyeong’s room. He didn’t know why he ended up to doing that. All he knew that time was wanting to see his hyung, wanting to be with his hyung. As he stood there at Yunhyeong’s room, silently watching the peaceful face of the older guy, he remembered it had always been like this, Hanbin coming to his room whenever he couldn’t fall asleep.

“Hyung,” Hanbin softly whispered to the sleeping guy brushing the strands of hair covering his forehead. “Yunhyeong-hyung.”

Yunhyeong shifted slightly before his eyes cracked open a little. “Hanbin?” He groggily asked and sneak a glance at the red numbers of the digital clock at his night stand. “It’s two in the morning.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Rubbing his eyes, Yunhyeong stared at Hanbin in the dimness of his room. “Again?” He groaned but pushed himself out of the bed. “C’mon I’ll make you a drink.”

Hanbin felt himself relaxed. He sighed and let himself be dragged by Yunhyeong out of his room and to the kitchen. He was glad that this little moment they shared remained the same, that Yunhyeong still remember it, that he would still make Hanbin a drink and stayed up with him until he could fall asleep.

“What is it now? Are you writing music again?” Yunhyeong sat on the chair next to him, giving Hanbin a glass of milk. “You know it’s almost school break. You don’t need to push yourself too much.”

Hanbin stared the hot beverage in front of him. “I know,” he mumbled.

“Then why?”

Hanbin lifted the glass to his mouth and took a sip, leaving the question hanging for a while. He glanced at his hyung who was staring at him in mild curiosity in his heavy eyes.

“I’m not writing anything. I just have some things on my mind.”

Propping his head on his arms on the table and facing Hanbin sideways, Yunhyeong yawned. “Like?”

“You.”

Hanbin didn’t know what came to him to impulsively say that. He did not dare to look at the guy beside him, not ready to see the expression on his face. He almost thought that Yunhyeong would never say anything else that but then his weak, sleep-deprived voice shattered the silence that stretched between them.

“Why would you think about me?”

Hanbin took a long gulp from his glass before he found the courage to lower his gaze to the guy beside him only to find his eyes closed and mouth slightly agape. Hanbin sighed, smiling softly at Yunhyeong’s sleeping form. He moved his chair closer to his hyung and imitated his position. He leaned closer, resting his head on one of his arms and facing the older guy sideways. He wondered why just looking at Yunhyeong made him feel calm and warm. He stared at Yunhyeong carefully like he was memorizing every detail of his face. He wanted to remember everything of it before his hyung leave for home tomorrow. He wanted to remember everything of this moment.

“I’m also asking myself why I’m thinking about you…” Hanbin whispered. He lifted a finger and gently touch Yunhyeong’s forehead. Slowly, his finger glided like a feather to Yunhyeong’s nose…

“I’m thinking why I am feeling like this.”

To his plump lips…

“I’m thinking why I wanted your attention at this ungodly hour.”

To his chin…

“I’m thinking if you’re dreaming of me right now.”

Hanbin stared at the face the of the sleeping guy next to him as his eyes grew heavy until it finally fluttered close.

***

Jinhwan stood soundlessly at the edge of the doorway of the kitchen, just exactly where the light and the shadow met. He woke up thirsty, so he trudged wearily to get himself a glass of water but then he was surprised on what he found in the kitchen. Jinhwan saw Hanbin and Yunhyeong. He witnessed how Hanbin leaned closer to Yunhyeong, how Hanbin was mumbling some things, how he was tracing the outline of Yunhyeong’s face. Jinhwan smiled faintly at the scene before him for it brought him back to the same scene few years back. It brought him back to the same scenario but during that time it was Yunhyeong who leaned closer, it was Yunhyeong who was mumbling things, it was Yunhyeong who was tracing the outline of Hanbin’s face.

With his thirst slightly forgotten, Jinhwan gingerly crept back to his room, not wanting to alert the two of his presence. He was hoping for only one thing for his best friends. He hoped that it was not too late for the two of them