CHAPTER 8: TRIGGER

SAVE ME

Questions flooded my head as the anger in me surges in. My whole body ached as my hands trembled. My arm dropped involuntarily as my phone slipped. He turned around and met my gaze eventually. And at my sight, his lips parted slightly. 

He started pacing towards me without uttering a single word. Just as then he crouched in front of me to pick my phone up. My hands were still shaking as he reached one. He placed my phone in my palm and looked back at me. My eyes landed back on my phone and saw that the call hasn’t been dropped yet. Taehyung’s name was written.

Jin Ri’s voice started to echo in my thoughts. 

“I’ll make you remember every single reason why you should be hating him.”

“It’s funny” I said as I looked up to him. I ended the call and placed my phone back to my pocket. His eyes were still on me and he offered me pained smile. 

“I said it’s funny” My voice was stern and my face were stiff—as if I’m no longer void of any other expression. I saw him open his mouth but he closed it right away. He looked down as the sweat on his forehead ran down. Soon enough his tongue went over his upper lip and slid it across before he bit his lower lip—and I can’t believe I’m noticing such small details right now, when all this time I’ve been failing to see the bigger picture. I laughed at the thought—because it’s so funny and everything else is a joke.

Jin Ri’s voice echo in my head once again. 

“I’ll make you remember every single reason why you should be hating him.”

My laugh went another notch, because I finally got the joke. No wonder it took me this long cause I was—am, the joke. My whole life after the accident has been a joke, and everyone—every single one is treating me like a joke—all because of… 

“Daebak… I made the great Park Jimin speechless” I waited for him to speak up his mind, but nothing came. So I turned my back on him and started walking—I don’t know where I’m headed, but anywhere would be fine—anywhere far from Park Jimin. 

My hand clenches the strap of my bag as I began to pick up my pace, soon enough I began running—running away from the bitter truth because I refuse to believe. I ran back towards the restaurant. Jungkook’s father was no longer in sight, so I turned to one of the servers instead. 

“Are the boys at the back?” The server just smiled and ignored me, I asked another server but he refused to talk to me as well—and so I went to room at the back to see it for myself. 

“Miss, you can’t go there!” I heard one of the servers said, but I ignored them completely—they shouldn’t have ignored me in the first place. My hand goes to the knob and I started turning it—but the door won’t budge. 

“GUYS OPEN THE DAMNED DOOR! I KNOW YOU’RE ALL IN THERE!” I shouted as my hands formed into fists and began slamming at the door. I felt the hand of one of the servers trying to stop me, but I yanked my hand quickly and pounded the door even harder. 

“Miss there’s no one in there” 

I know – but I can’t—I won’t accept it. They have to be there—they have to be in here somewhere—they can’t be. 

“Jia Honey, It’s time to go home.” I heard my mom’s voice and the server let go of his grip on my wrist. I faced my mom and saw that her eyes were bloodshot and she’s still wearing the same house clothes that she’s wearing when I left earlier—the kind of clothes that you don’t wear outside the house. 

She made her way to me and wrapped her arms around me. My head rested on her shoulder as he hug went tighter. 

“but I saw them… I was here yesterday, and I saw them, they were laughing and we were so happy Mommy” 

“Shhh… It’s okay… it’s okay honey…” she started my hair and that’s when all my walls crumbled and the tears made their march. I wrapped my arms around mom as my cries went harder. 

It took a while before I was able to calm myself. My heart still bleeds, but there were no tears left to cry anymore. It was already past eleven when we made it back home. Mom’s new husband was nowhere in sight—but that’s okay, since I don’t want to deal with him too right now. 

“We’ll talk in the morning” mom said

“No, we’ll talk now. I’m not tired” –lies… 

“I think it’s best if we consult a professional first thing in morning, It’s been a long day, why don’t we reward ourselves with some good ol’ sleep?” mom looks drained, but she still managed to smile. 

“We’ll do that tomorrow, but tonight, you and I are going to talk mom.” My voice came a little harsher than expected, but mom’s smile didn’t faltered—

“Did you know… that you were 9 when you last time you called me Mommy? I can still remember it clearly, you’re missing a front tooth back then—you just got home from school and you were so excited to tell me about your new friends” 

I can’t remember… so all I said to her was “Oh…” 

“And earlier at the restaurant, you called me Mommy again—I was so happy, though at the same time it breaks my heart too, cause you were crying your heart out and I can’t do anything but cradle you in my arms” tears were starting to form in her eyes and another ‘oh’ escaped my lips. 

“I-I think I should get some sleep… goodnight mom” I said as a faint smile escaped my lips. 

“Goodnight sweetheart...” That was the last thing she said before she finally closed my bedroom door. I wanted answers to my questions so badly—but I can’t bring myself to force my mom to talk to me, when she’s in that state. And I hate myself because I’m the one who put her in that state. 

I opened my laptop instead and opened my browser. If no one’s going to talk to me about it, then I guess I’d have to google my way through it. I typed in Jimin’s name one again and revisited the same news site that I’ve seen earlier. 

I stopped reading as I felt a shudder as my memory came into daze. I closed my eyes as a nauseating flashback hit me. 

*FLASHBACK*

“So… how’s everything at your place?” I asked Taehyung. I was leaning back against my door while Taehyung’s occupying my bed. He started throwing his phone up and down into the air—I’d laugh my out if his phone lands on his face. 

“Dad’s new wife insisted that I call her mom” he said without looking at me. Last April his dad got married again, and he’s still not okay with the whole thing—

“And you don’t want to?” I said as I sat beside him. He propped his elbow and gave me an are-you-serious? Kind of look

“I never even called my biological mother ‘Mom’” he lied down again and continued playing with his phone. I sighed and ruffled his hair. Taehyung never even met his biological mother and his dad never really made an effort to talk about her—so all this time it was only him and Taehyung. 

“And her son hates me.” He said as he let out a sigh.

“He’s the new kid right?” A new guy transferred to Bantan High—and he’s been the topic on most restroom gossips among girls. Apparently he looks really good—and he sings well too—and he’s into sports 

“Yup”

“What’s his name again?” I asked Taehyung 

“Jimin”

*End of Flashback*