CHAPTER 11: A WEEK AFTER

SAVE ME

It’s been a week after my aneurysm ruptured. I woke up 8 hours after the said operation with my memories still intact. I still haven’t regained all of my past memories yet, and when I do try to remember, my head hurts like hell. A week have passed and I still haven’t been used to seeing myself in the mirror. 

The bags under my eyes are darker than ever, and my shaved head made my features look sharper. The cut from the surgery hasn’t fully healed yet and sometimes it throbs whenever I run my fingers through it. 

That being said, I haven’t had any contact with the outside world ever since we got home from the hospital. Recently, my mom told me that she has not remarried again. She just told me that she remarried again when I entered the 4^th cycle of my amnesia, just so I’d stop asking her questions. I’ve been drinking my prescription meds religiously ever since we got home. Mom grew frantic about everything… She worries a lot—and she keeps telling me that she almost lost me again. I honestly don’t know what to say to her. She always ends up crying whenever I try to talk to her. As if my mere existence alone, pains her.

“Mom,” I said as I walked to the kitchen. She was busy chopping the cabbage for the kimchi that she’s planning to make. She glanced at me and continued doing what she was doing. 

“Do you need help?” right after I asked, she just said no and ignored me again completely. I wonder what dinner would be tonight—but more importantly, I was wondering when I’d be able to go back to school—or go outside for that matter. So instead of asking any of those questions, here’s what I told her instead.

“Can you get me a wig?” With that, she stopped chopping the cabbages and washed her hands. She wiped off the basin first before finally giving her full attention to me. 

“Why do you need a wig?” she said with an arched brow. 

“I was wondering if I could go visit Yoon Gi again… I might be able to remember something when I see him” her expression looks stern, the moment that I dropped the thought that I want to get out of this place. 

“It can be a good exercise too… plus, the air in Bangtan isn’t as polluted like the ones in here—It’ll be good for my health” I beamed a smile but mom’s face remained stoic. 

“And then what?” her eyes deadpanned as her gaze went straight through me. The cut on my head throbbed as I felt a wave of nausea surging in. 

“ I—I think I should just rest in here some more… you continue what you’re doing mom. I’ll head back to my room, just call me when dinner’s ready” With that, I left the kitchen and locked myself in my room. 

I get that mom’s extremely worried about me—but that doesn’t mean that I’ll let her keep me in here forever. I’m finally remembering things again on my own volition without spiraling back into my amnesia—I can’t stop here. I can’t stop now. 

I need to get at the end of all of this in order to be able to come in terms with myself and finally be able to live in peace—if Taehyung and the others were the ones in my position, they’d want to know what really happened too. 

I can’t remember on my own without any triggers—and being confined in this house will do me no good. On top of that, my mother would rather cry or act tough in front of me instead of actually having a proper conversation. The other people that might know about the accident are too far from home, and they won’t probably talk to me too because of my mother. There’s always Jimin—but I’d rather live in oblivion than ask him myself. Which only boils down to the only person I know I’d be able to get answers from—Choi Jin Ri. 

I got Jin Ri’s number online and I immediately contacted her. At first, I was skeptic about her contact info because it was blatantly displayed on her sns accounts where people can access them easily. To my surprise, it was really her and she agreed to meet me—at my house of course since I’m currently on house arrest. 

Dinner was already laid down the table when a doorbell came in. I quickly went up to my feet and went to open the door. I informed mom beforehand that Jin Ri would be spending the night over to help me catch up with the lessons and classes I missed at school. 

“What do you want to talk about? And what’s with that hideous turban?” She said the moment I opened the door. I placed my hand on to prevent her from speaking. I’m wearing a turban to cover my shaved head—thank you for asking. 

“Not now. Later… when Mom falls asleep—I told you that remember?” Jin Ri swatted my hand as she rolled her eyes. She welcomed herself in and made her way to the kitchen where my mom is. 

“You must be Jin Ri,” mom said as she smiled from ear to ear. Right now I can’t tell if she really likes Jin Ri, or she’s just putting up an act—either ways I’m starving. Jin Ri walked in her direction and offered her hand on my mother. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you—Jia’s mother,” Jin Ri said as my mother finally accepted her hand and shook it. It was wise of Jin Ri to use Jia’s mother— instead of Mrs. Moon—cause she hasn’t been Mrs. Moon for quite some time now. 

“It’s nice to meet you too dear—did you know that you’re the first girl that Jia introduced to me as her friend?” mom beamed enthusiastically. This confirms my assumption that my mother really likes her. If only mom knew that this girl is a walking mess—and that she threatened me because she thinks I’m flirting with her murderous boyfriend. 

“Really?” Jin Ri said as she took her hand back. We all settled into a sit and began with our meal.

“Since Jia was younger, her friends had always been boys—for a while, I thought that she might be swinging into another direction” mom said as she laughed for a bit—to my surprise Jin Ri laughed too. I don’t know if it’s faked—but her laugh sounded so genuine. This is another side of Jin Ri that I never thought she had. 

“Hey!” I said in protest and their laughter grew louder. Soon enough I found myself grinning like an idiot too. Dinner went smoothly and Jin Ri sure talked a lot. I can tell that my mom was fascinated by her. I just hope that what Jin Ri showed mom today is real, cause it’d be devastating if she was just faking it all along. Mom didn’t make us help her but Jin Ri and I both insisted that we will. When we got into my room, it was already 9 pm. And the moment we got it, Jin Ri threw herself at my bed—as if jumping into someone else’s bed is normal. 

“Now we talk,” I said as I closed the door behind me. Jin Ri growled with facing me as she settled into my bed. 

“Hey, don’t sleep on me yet—You just ate, you’d have a nightmare if you sleep right after eating,” I said as I made my way to her and forcibly made her sit up straight. And Jin Ri groaned like a child as she slumped her body back into the mattress. 

“Can’t we talk tomorrow morning? I don’t want to ruin this memory tonight… This is the nicest dinner I’ve had in my life” her gaze was on me and I suddenly felt shy. I’ve had sleepovers with boys in the past and I’ve never had a girl stay the night—I’m nervous. 

“You’re lucky to have your mom,” she said and I smiled awkwardly. So is this what girls do when they do sleepovers? Talk about their moms? When it was the boys and me, we’d be playing GTA all night and draw doodles on the faces of the weak ones who fall asleep.

“Anyways… I changed my mind, I think we should talk now.” Jin Ri said as she sat up straight. 

“Okay…” I said as I fumbled with my fingers. 

“So here’s what you need to know about Park Jimin.”

Jin Ri and I were in the middle of talking when a furious knock came into my door. My mom was shouting outside and I frantically opened the door. Her face looked pale and tears were starting to form on her eyes. 

“He’s dead.”