From that days on, things run normally like usual. The only thing remains the same is just Jongin’s curiosity about Kyungsoo’s abdomen which slowly drives the man crazy little by little. 

 

Besides work, the only thing that occupied Jongin’s mind now is just Kyungsoo. But nah, 

not in the ideal way like he falls in love or anything though, what Kai cannot forget is just one thing: the bruise mark picture that lingers in his mind every single night.

The very same thing that makes him have initiatives to ask his parents in law about Kyungsoo’s doctor, and after giving it a looonggg thought, he decides to make a call.

 

 

“Hello Dr. Park speaking”

 

The call was previously picked up by the Doctor’s assistant, before it got passed to the person himself.

 

“Oh, hi Dr. Park, my name is Kim Jongin, I am Do Kyungsoo’s husband. I got your  number from Mr. And Mrs. Do, they told me you are the family doctor for the Dos, right?”

 

“Ah yes yes Mr. Kim, you are right indeed. I helped Mr. Do’s family members when it’s necessary. So what can I help you with today?”

 

“Eumm.. Dr Park, actually I call to ask you for a favor, related to my husband’s health record over the years..”

 

“Yes”

 

“There are some questions that I would like to ask regarding Kyungsoo’s health...”

 

“Ahh I understand..”

 

“Yea, so if you don’t mind. Can we meet in person to discuss this matter privately?”

 

“Oh, is there something wrong with Kyungsoo ssi recently Mr. Kim? If he’s not feeling well I could come over immediately..”

 

“Ahh no no, Kyungsoo is very healthy doctor, don’t get it wrong. I’m asking for your time just to ask about some concerns regarding Kyungsoo, and if you can keep it quite from my spouse, that’d be even better”

 

“Ahh,, sorry for my mistake Mr. Kim. Now I understand...”

 

“Okay thanks, so when can we meet Dr. Park?”

 

 

 

The following week, Jongin visit Dr Park’s clinic which turns out to be the 65 years old doctor’s residential house as well.

 

Dr. Park, just like the image Kai potrayed through their phone conversation is an experienced doctor who is very welcoming to him. 

He is quite senior already so he didn’t work in the hospital very often anymore. For the last 30 years he had been family doctor for the Do’s. Since Seungsoo and Kyungsoo were young, anytime they have any problem with health, Dr. Park is the person who’s in charge and would recommend them to the specialist doctor when necessary. 

 

Dr. Park also has all Do’s personal medical records until now, which is of course confidential, but Kai has requested to pull Kyungsoo’s document out prior to the meeting, for the sake of making the conversation become easier and smoother. 

 

 

That evening Jongin stayed in Dr. Park’s office for about an hour. At near 7 he thanked the senior doctor a lot and come back driving towards his home. 

 

The result of that one hour meeting though, has changed Kai a lot. His jaw become even tighter than before. He didn’t smile for the rest of the day, and went to sleep immediately once he is home.

 

Jongin learned a lot about Kyungsoo that day from the family doctor. He learned that Kyungsoo indeed had a surgery, but not around his abdomen, it was on his right leg instead caused by a benign tumor.

Other than that surgery, Kyungsoo never had any serious issue regarding his health.

When he asked about the mark around Kyung’s abdomen, it takes a while for Dr. Park to remember and the elder has to flip his document all the way to the very back to find the needed information to answer Jongin’s question. 

 

 

The answer to Jongin’s curiosity, reassured by Dr. Park is physically satisfying as he says that Kyungsoo is 100% healthy, and there isn’t anything serious about the physical mark left on his abdomen.

 

The impact of the question and answer for him personally is however, so much bigger than Kai expected.

 

 

 

—

 

 

Jongin (JI): Hyung, can I ask you something

 

Seungsoo (SS): Sure what is it Jongin

 

JI: Before Kyungsoo went to France... his middle school is in here right?

 

SS: Yes

 

JI: In Seoul?

 

SS: Yes

 

JI: May I know what school he’s in hyung, I’m just curios

 

SS: It’s Gangnam international secondary, Jongin-ah. Kyungsoo and I went to that same school

 

///

 

Suddenly stacks of memories come rushing to Jongin’s mind when his brother in law mention the school name. Do Seungsoo... no wonder that name didn’t sound strange when they first met.

 

Gangnam Int School is actually also his school too.  And now Jongin remember Seungsoo as one amongst his famous senior at secondary school, nearly 15 years ago or more. Do Seungsoo was a star, he was handsome, smart and the chief of student body. He was the top flower boy for three years straight unlike...

 

Damn, now with all memories coming in, Jongin can’t help but clinch his fist in silent while staring at his lap. 

He can’t exactly remember faces or names of his close friends, but Jongin remember how rascal he was as a kid back then.

 

Growing up as a taller, bulkier kid, blessed with much more amount of confidence than others, back then little Jongin was never fond with school or study so he looked for something more exciting to do everyday in the institution: bullying other people.

 

After quickly saying thanks to his brother in law, he waste no time, Jongin reach out for his car key when the clock strikes 11:30. It’s lunch break, but today he’ll use the time to go back to his old home; his parent’s house to look for a yearbook that is kept somewhere in his former bedroom. 

 

 

 

 

“Jongin; come eat downstairs!! The meal is readyy!” Mrs. Kim yells from the first ground calling for his son to have lunch upon his sudden visit few minutes ago.

 

Currently Jongin is seating on the floor, crawling upon tons and tons of book from his drawer that holds so many memories in there.

 

Secondary school yearbook, senior high’s, college until his university certificates are all well kept in there. Jongin silently thank his mom for allowing him to keep all this useless garbage for years.

 

Impatiently open the rather thick dusty book’s pages one by one, Jongin is now scanning each student’s face with their name, and their choice of high school as well.

Upon seeing familiar names and faces after long absent, his attention once or twice was diverted to some old pals he used to close with, followed by light wonder about what they are currently doing now.

 

Fortunately, his mom’s calling from downstairs becomes a wake up call for the man to finish his task as quickly as possible.

 

“Jonginn!! Come down quick!!! The soup is getting cold!!!”

 

Nah.. Do Kyungsoo.. Do Kyungsoo... focus Jongin! Damn it. 

 

If either the name or a familiar face can be found in here, then Jongin should not doubt his memories anymore. 

Well it’d be far from good if his prediction is right, but still Jongin needs to confirm.. he needs double confirm if he’s really the man who hurt Kyungsoo in the past.

 

 

On the 37th page, 5th row on the left, finally the thing he looks for is there.

 

Do Kyungsoo. Class D.

Continuing to British International School Tokyo

 

That familiar face.. those never changing pair of eyes.. the pure image of a young boy who didn’t change that much until now.

 

It’s him. Kyungsoo went to Tokyo for high school for a year, he knew. 

Kyungsoo used to ne in the same school as him, now he knows.

They were once connected with each other back then, sixteen years ago to be exact, just this hour Jongin knew and remember.

 

 

Damn, how could you be so stupid Jongin.

 

Try his best to collect all his senses again asap, Jongin take a quick photo of his husband’s profile before close the book and put everything back neatly into the drawer again. 

 

 

 

“The bruises are from around.. fifteen years ago.  Kyungsoo was found badly hurt on his abdomen due to bullying at school. I was just assigned as his doctor back then.

 

When his parents found out about the bruises Jongin ssi, we run full body check up for him and luckily nothing is harmed in the inside. All his vitals are fine but the outer bruises.. because it was not treated correctly and vastly, so the bruises can hardly be dismissed now.” Said Doctor Park explaining clearly.

 

“What do you mean with ‘not being treated correctly’ doctor? Didn’t his parents know about this and he received correct treatment right after?” Quoting the older’s saying earlier, Jongin is utterly curious; if it’s nothing serious, how come it leaves such a horrible obvious bruises until today.

 

“Well, Kyungsoo ssi apparently used to hide it from his parents for weeks or months, I can’t remember. When his parents found out, the wet scars are already dried and closed by basic antiseptics applied by the boy himself. 

 

Kyungsoo never tell about his condition at school because he found it as something embarrassing. When we knew about it, it was too late, nothing much anyone can do with the scar. It’s amusing enough that he get to surpress all the pain without any medication Jongin ssi. That fact was very worrying for us at that time but luckily nothing much is harmed”

 

 

Damn. Jongin has understood where all the bruises come from since last week. But today.. just today Jongin learn better about the person behind it all, the person which is not hard to find because the victim is ain’t other than.. himself.

 

He has forgotten fact that he was once in the same school and same class with Kyungsoo long ago. Jongin forgot everything about boy once he enter highschool and so on. He never had a clue that the petite boy he used to bully back then looks exactly the same as the man he exchanged vow with four months ago.

 

Damn, if there is an award for idiot of the year, a man named Kim Jongin will gladly volunteer today.

 

Just today, this day out of four months of their marriage, 10 months since they got introduced with each other, he remember. 

 

Such an idiot Kai, you are surely an idiot!!! Jongin grabs his hair in frustration while waiting for the traffic light to turn green, on his way back to the office.

 

No wonder all this time Kyungsoo looked so afraid of him. He has noticed that fact from the start, but he never knows why.

Damn, no wonder he always avoid me even until now. No wonder he created the contract to call off this marriage after 2 years. 

No wonder Kyungsoo still refuses to speak to him until today.. 

 

That’s all because he hates me. 

He hated me and he hates me until now. Inner Jongin

 

Jongin is no fool, from his act he knows that Kyungsoo must have knew. His husband is much smarter than him so he knew.. he must have knew about this ever since both of their parents set up the marriage. 

The new collective fact slowly brings Jongin to the past when Kyungsoo’s grandpa got admitted to hospital one day before Mr. And Mrs. Do’s give their answer to his parents. 

 

Yes, it was Jongin’s parents idea in the first place for him to marry Kyungsoo. The other side, the Dos was quite flustered with the request, and as normal as it is, they need some times to think about the preposition for a while.

 

At that time Kyungsoo must have rejected his parent’s idea. Jongin can imagine the shorter man must have said no with all his might, but then.. his grandpa came into frame.

 

One day after the old man got a light heart attack; Kyungsoo’s parents called the Kim’s to inform the acceptance of their proposal. 

 

They -Jongin and Kyungsoo met for the first time in the hospital. Now he can imagine how hard it must be for Kyungsoo, and how frustrated he must felt at that time to cannot do anything , thus this is where they are now. 

 

Sitting silently behind his desk, Jongin’s still in dazed alone, picking up the pieces he previously ignored little by little.

 

He and Kyungsoo are now married, bounded to each other, but with no love. Now he understand why Kyungsoo never give him even a tiny chance to love his spouse like other normal couples do.

 

He must hate him so much right? 

Yea, I even hate myself now. Thought Jongin and sigh again for the hundredth times. Sighs full of regrets. 

 

So, what should I do now? 

Just one question left from Kim Kai to himself.

 

What should he do now? Go on with Kyungsoo’s plan to call off their marriage after two years? Or should he leave earlier to give Kyungsoo what he deserve to have: Love, happiness, peace, and not living under the same roof with someone you hate for the least.

 

Jongin doesn’t have the answer now because he’s so damn confused as well. 

Oh God please help me now. He groans in silence, tilting his head to stare at the white ceiling above.

 

—-

 

 

Several nights later Jongin come home finding Kyungsoo in their walk-in closet with an opened suitcase which shows, obviously someone is leaving the city or the country soon.

 

“You are leaving?” Asks Kai right away when Kyungsoo notice his presence just now.

 

This last few days Jongin is hardly at home. He went out soon after Kyungsoo left to work and come back around 8-9, straight into his office. Same thing repeated every weekdays.

 

“Yes. I’m going to San Fransisco tomorrow. For a conference”

 

Kyungsoo’s already wearing his pajama, the taller observes. He must have come home earlier to pack his belongings

 

“How many days will you be gone?”

 

Tomorrow is Tuesday. Will he be back by the weekend? Kai starts to wonder without knowing why

 

“4 days. Short trip, for work only”

 

Oh. 

 

This is the first time Kyungsoo leaves him -and this house for a business trip.

Kai himself often travel back and forth to Busan cause he works in logistic, but he never left Kyungsoo alone overnight as well. This will be his first, their first time separating since the wedding.

 

“Okay. See you later then”

 

Jongin grabs his towel and run off to the bathroom quickly, shut the door behind him after seeing Kyung’s light nods as a sign of approval.

 

Kyungsoo never said too much to him. His spouse always be so quite, either it be with or without people. 

 

Silence can mean a lot of things though. It could sign ignorance, hate, annoyance, shyness, uncertainty, or so many other things.

But now Jongin has discovered the reason behind Kyungsoo’s silence treatment to him. 

 

And he don’t know how long he’ll able to endure this any longer.

 

 

 

——-

 

There are three types of student at school according to Kyungsoo. Nah, not the usual: smart-stupid-average or famous-nerd-mediocre kids. 

Fo 13 years old Kyungsoo, there are three kind of people in every schools: the bullies-the bullied-and those who are lucky to be saved from bullies.

 

The story starts during the last year of secondary school, when Kyungsoo suddenly had the honor to be classified as the bullied one for some unknown reason. 

The miserable time started one day just few months since the new semester start. As winter came closer, Kyungsoo remember hearing his name got called more and more by a group of “strong tall boys” in a not very nice way. By the following week, he started to receive verbal insult and bullies, until it become more severe and the name ‘Kyungsoo’ officially became the mocking topic in the class.

 

Small petite Kyungsoo who’s always quite 80% of the time slowly had it as a habit to hear his name got mocked every breaks, and since then his school life turned 180 into total hell. 

 

Break times are moment that he hate the most. 

At first the boy still have friends to talk with, at least his seatmate was willing to talk to him. 

However, since the other ‘boys’ started to look for more and more trouble with him, Kyungsoo slowly lost all his friends. They all ran away as none want to be involved with anything related  to the ‘big scary guys’ (what a coward indeed they are)

 

Every break since then, Kyungsoo found his desk got flipped to the cold ground every time he came back from the loo. All his books and drinking bottle scattered on the floor, accompanied with tons of mean words coming from the back while the rest of the class can only stare at him in silence and pity.

 

Kyungsoo tried his best not to cry out loud every single day. It was a real struggle, but he suppressed all his feelings well. All of the anger, embarrassment, self pity and hatred. 

He hated it all. He wanted to quit and never ever come back to that hell again but he can’t. 

Only pity stare given to young Kyungsoo everyday by the rest of his classmate. No one dared to comfort him, and Kyung officially became invincible in his class as  the second semester started.

 

 

After two months long of verbal abuse, those bad boys never run out of topic to talk bad about Kyungsoo. They’ve cursed his appearance, his way of walking, his fluffy body, his ugly glasses, basically everything that Kyungsoo has.

Now still not willing to let the poor boy go, their action escalate into direct abuse.

One late spring day, Kyungsoo got cornered after PE class when they kicked him on the floor.

 

“You stupid moron. You think you’re that good after receiving compliment from Mr. Paul huh? You can’t even dribble the ball right, you UGLY STUPID NERD”

 

One kick on the stomach

 

“You think you are smart huh? You think the teacher adore you cause of your brain? They only remember you because of your hyung! 

If your hyung wasn’t here, they wouldn’t even know your name stupid er”

 

Another kick from the same person

 

“You love to sit at the very front and act like nothing happened when we throw papers at you huh??! Now see if you can act like nothing when we do this! Now go home and cry to your mother! Mama boy!”

 

 

Third kick, fourth kick, fifth kick keep coming through with endless laughter from the four boys.

 

Poor Kyungsoo can only curl his body on the floor and protect his abdomen with hands. His reading glasses are broken now, he can only see blur view of wooden cupboard located right beside him. 

 

Those evils, those evils didn’t stop kicking him while laughing. 

Their filthy feet, covered with expensive shoes hurt his abdomen so much but Kyungsoo didn’t cry. He swore to not shed any tears for this moron; at least not directly in front of them.

 

“Now goo!!! Go find your shelter to your mighty hyung or your lovely mother at home! You ing stupid mama boy!! Hahahah”

 

 

The scheduled time for next subject is approaching so the little evils finally ought to go soon, they say goodbye by still kicking the poor boy lightly

 

“Don’t ever think you’re here as something Do Kyungsoo, because you are nothing!! And you’ll never be anything!!”

 

Last sentence was given to him by the leader of those er. Few seconds after, one of his stupid dog grab the taller boy’s shoulder; calling him to go back as soon as possible to avoid trouble.

 

“Kai, let’s go! Why should we care about this ugly stupid boy anyway”

 

All his friends chuckle and laugh dryly before agreeing to the preposition. They all turn their back at the same time, act like nothing ever happened that day.

 

 

 

 

Some says naughty act by teenagers are common and acceptable; because boys will be boys. Years after that, slowly all the students forget about the tragedies, the acts of kicking their classmates on the floor every week. 

 

But for one person though, even after years and years, he will never forget because a bruise that has been made; An obvious dark blue bruise that can’t be erased from his abdomen.

 

Despite being healthy and moving away from that school-city-and even country, but still the memories remain, the bruises mark remains.

Do Kyungsoo will never forget those faces.. those names.. each of their voices.. and their kicks. 

 

Those are things that forever remain in him until today.