Song recommendation whilst reading: iKON's Don't Forget (2nd Album Return). Happy reading! :) 

It was a very special day. 

It was such a special day that Jennie had apologised to Hanbin in advance for not being able to join him for lunch.

Because today was the day of iKON’s new release. Their new single. And she could not afford to miss it.  

Jennie was seated at her desk, and Jisoo’s at hers, one desk away. They were never this focused even for exams. 

As soon as the lunch break bell rang, both girls grabbed their phones and earphones. They impatiently open up the Melon application with their eyes glued to their mobile screens. It was their ritual. Through Jennie’s influence, Jisoo has also become quite an iKON fan and always made sure to check out all iKON’s releases together with Jennie. Always.

Fidgety, Jennie glances back and forth at the clock. It read 11:59am.

Just one more minute, Jennie thought. Jennie was more than ready. She couldn’t wait. 

She began tapping her fingers on her table out of impatience.

“You’re making ME nervous!” Jisoo exclaimed as she takes a quick glance at the clock. 

“Don’t distract me Jisoo, not now!” Jennie exclaims from her seat. The tapping of her fingers escalates in speed. 

As soon as the second hit 12:00pm, she swiftly searches up ‘iKON’ and hits play on the new release titled ‘Don’t Forget.’ 

Jennie’s face lightens up as soon as she hears the beautiful instrumentals. She admires the first verse and is hit with such emotional heart-strung lyrics that stung her heart. The emotion of such strong deep yearning hit her as crashing waves, that fiercefully stung on rapid contact.

  It feels like our time has stopped

  Was there no such thing as forever

  Will you still remember me throughout the passing of time

  In the faint traces we’ve felt

  Don’t forget about me

When the chorus hit, a familiar melody accompanied with heart-wrenching lyrics is heard and Jennie’s face freezes. 

If you cannot remember everything 

Just leave it as an unforgettable fragment

The whispered promises, the nights we stayed up

I hope that you’ll remember them all

Don’t forget, don’t forget

Please don’t forget me

Don’t forget us, don’t forget me

Everything about me 

Her face froze.

It can’t be, she repeated internally. 

Jennie’s head was met with a rush of memories of Hanbin and their first meeting on the rooftop that she had replayed over and over in her head. The humming that was unexpectedly overheard as she walked towards the roof that day, the view of Hanbin outstretched, his neck tilted back and his chiselled side profile accentuated by the overcast sun. 

That melody… she wouldn’t be able to miss it in a heartbeat. 

“This is amazing!” Jisoo exclaims. Jisoo eagerly looks up from her desk and immediately recognises that something was wrong. 

“What’s wrong Jennie?” Confusion was written all over Jisoo’s face. 

Jennie didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. 

A loud screech from the chair is suddenly heard, as it rubbed against the floor, and Jennie hops up from her desk. 

She grabs everything on her desk and rushes out the class. She sprints down the hallway,  slams open the emergency exit door, and races up the stairs towards the rooftop. 

No way… no way, no way, no way, she chants all the way through as the song concluded with the lines:

  The scenery between us is fading in colour

  And we wake from the dream

  That was so fiercely beautiful

Once she reaches the rooftop, Jennie spots Hanbin at his seat, but unlike as usual, he is facing her - as if he predicted that she would come. He rises from his chair as Jennie approaches him. 

“This isn’t a coincidence is it?” Jennie half-yells, without trying to catch her breath. 

“You’re B.I... iKON’s producer... genius songwriter... my admired lyricist... You’re him!?” 

“You were him all this time?” Jennie nearly yelled.

“I didn’t keep it from you on purpose.” Hanbin apologised, guilt written all over his face.

No wonder ..

No wonder you only showed your older songs to me

No wonder ..

No wonder I couldn’t help but keep listening to your music 

Because it’s been you all along

She internally freaked.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier. No one knows except Yunhyeong and the management … really …”  he continues explaining. 

“And as time passed, it was comforting to know that you enjoyed my music, even without a prolific name next to it. 

And the fact that you were already B.I’s .. my fan … I couldn’t find the right timing to tell you.”

Jennie didn’t like being lied to. She felt like a complete idiot. 

“So you waited til now? Until I figured it out myself?” Jennie was frustrated. “I’m your biggest fan, your friend.” She was hurt that even til now, Hanbin still did not feel comfortable enough to reveal his secrets to her, despite all the time they’ve spent together. 

“It really escaped my mind until now. I did intentionally hide it at first, but as time passed, it was as if I was truly a different entity from B.I when you were listening to my music. It was as if we were actually two different people as time passed. There was my music, and then there was his music.”

Hanbin pauses, observing Jennie’s facial expressions before continuing - he was looking for any sort of reaction from an understandably frustrated Jennie.

“It was only until you told me this morning about the new release that it hit me. That you’d probably find out today. I wanted to tell you then but I couldn’t talk about it among the classmates” Hanbin says apologetically.

Jennie thinks about the situation for a moment. It had done no real harm to Jennie, and if anything, her lack of knowledge about the situation had made her closer to her long-time crush. Jennie knew how much of a low-key guy Hanbin was so she understood why it must have been such a tight well-kept secret, even the loud and loose-lipped Yunhyeong did not breathe a word it. Much of her anger had dissipated already but Jennie wasn’t going to let Hanbin know that and proceeds to point at Hanbin with her index finger raised.

“You owe me one!” Jennie huffs, as she attempts to pull her angriest looking face at Hanbin. 

“Am I forgiven then?” Hanbin asks cautiously. 

“I get a wish granted then, whatever I want, whatever I ask. Only after that, I might consider forgiving you then” Jennie replies mischievously, fighting back a cheeky smile. 

Hanbin doesn’t miss the mischief in her tone and fights back his own smile. 

“I will make it up to you. I promise” he replies seriously.

Awkwardness fills the air as they stand face-to-face, not knowing what to do next. A cautious Hanbin aimlessly scratches the nape of his neck whilst Jennie randomly scrapes the ground with the soles of her shoes. That is, until an overwhelming realisation hits Jennie. 

She had yet to give iKON’s new release a second listen. Her eyes widen and she begins fumbling with her phone and headphones.

A bewildered Hanbin stands there and watches the latter frantically try and unravel her now-tangled earphone wires, and observes the gradual frustration that grew in Jennie’s every action. She starts yanking at the wires, only to further tangle them further. Hanbin steps towards her, and silently grabs onto one of her hands. The sudden physical contact makes the animated and frustrated hand movements of Jennie’s hands immediately come to a stop. He lets go of her hand and begins to slowly and patiently untangle the wires, as if his cool calm demeanour perfectly neutralised her erratic and fiery heart. Once the wires had completely unravelled, he passes back the set of headphones to her.

“What is the rush for?” She overhears him ask.

A dazed Jennie looks up at him, 

“I.. I haven’t given the song a second listen…..” Jennie honestly replies in bewilderment, a sense of embarrassment rushes through her at the same time and she cringes at her response. 

“Pfft..” Hanbin sneaks out a small-withheld chortle.

“Well, you probably don’t want Jisoo to worry either..” Hanbin says, as he observes a perplexed Jennie. “I recall you told me that it was very important that you and Jisoo listened to the new song together? - You mentioned it was a ritual?”

A hair-raising level of panic floods over Jennie as she has sudden flashbacks of how she had left Jisoo alone back at the classroom without any explanation. 

“She’s going to murder me in my sleep if I don’t return soon” Jennie exclaims in utter fear. “I need to go” Jennie cries out as she waves to Hanbin and begins to usher herself towards the emergency exit staircase. 

An amused Hanbin silently follows her and watches her frantically run down the stairs. He was relieved that Jennie didn’t appear to be too angry at him for concealing such secrets all this time. She was the one of the very few people who gave him a sense of comfort, especially after that event and he did not want to lose it. It was a strange mix of relief, guilt and warmth. He smiles at the thought before he hears a loud voice in the distance..

“Wait!” the voice echoed as the sound bounced off the cemented steps and enclosed walls. A rapid thumping sound of light footsteps then followed as a result of Jennie’s school shoes which hit each pavement .. as she ran back up the flight of stairs. 

They both meet again at the top of the stairs. A breathless Jennie grabs onto Hanbin’s hands, seemingly for stability. 

“This means you were supposed to be an iKON member”, she says as she gasps for air. She tightens her grip around his hands, the fangirl in Jennie completely taking over. 

“Why did you leave right before debut?” “What happened?” Jennie bombards Hanbin with questions. 

The curiosity in Jennie takes over before she is able to see the slowly forming crease between Hanbin’s eyebrows and the unease displayed on his face. 

“Oh”, she removes her hand and steps back. 

“I’m sorry I’m such a huge fan I lost myself in the moment” 

It was a topic that Hanbin avoided talking about. To anyone. Even after all these years. 

Time heals, he recalls everyone saying. But does it? Hanbin wasn’t sure. 

The pain did numb itself eventually, into a constant dull ache. But it hurt nonetheless when anyone prodded into the contained-spot that nested within himself. 

He lived everyday like that. 

“I lost my will”, he dejectedly replies, as he lowers his eyes, unable to meet the former’s gaze

“I just couldn’t go on”  

Despite everything, Hanbin does not miss the conflicting emotions - of guilt - that gradually spread across Jennie’s face. 

“I’m sorry, I told you I’d make it up to you … but I need some time for this” he adds apologetically, as he remembers his promise just moments ago. 

I promise to tell you - all of it - next time… 

I just need a bit of time… 

I promise, he vows to her internally… as a deep yet all-so-familiar aching pain unleashes itself, as the memories flash through him like it was yesterday. 

Jennie couldn’t speak and ask any further questions. The coldness, the obvious pain that engulfed Hanbin at that moment was so overwhelming she could do nothing but to stand there with him, until break ended. 

Jennie realised that very day that Hanbin’s pain stemmed from something much more deeper than she ever could imagine. He was somewhat stuck in a warped version of reality, where he could not move on, where he feels as if he shouldn’t be able to move on. He needed to heal. 

And Jennie was determined to help him.

*lyrics from iKON’s Don’t Forget - 2nd album Return  

//