I don't know how long we stayed like that, crying. After sunbaenim calmed down he just stayed like that, not moving a single muscle. By now my heart was beating so hard that I was scared that even sunbaenim was able to hear it.

He held me close as if I was the last support left for him to hold on to. And that made me all giddy and sad at the same time. To see him crumble down like that it made my heart broke. I slowly petted his hair in assurance. It felt so intimate but so right that neither of us complained.

After what seemed like forever sunbaenim said in a hoarse voice, "Jennie-ssi, I think I need a drink."

One thing, which my dad hammered into my thick skull was, never get drunk when you are sad. It becomes an addiction.

"Andwe, you are not allowed," I said firmly.

"Ne?" Sunbaenim moved slightly back to look at me. And the moment I saw his face my heart broke. His eyes and face were both red. His cheeks were still blotchy from all the crying. He looked so innocent and pure at that moment that my heart swelled with emotions.

I slowly lifted my hand and swiped his cheeks with my palms. It felt as if we were repeating the same scene from the past, just roles interchanged. On cue, sunbaenim's ears turned pink. Cute!

I just smiled and said softly, "Never drink when you are sad, it becomes an addiction." I quoted my pa's words.

He smiled lightly, to my relief and said, "Who said that to you?"

"My papa," I said proudly.

"Hmm, I see. Well then at least some juice won't be any harm, will it be, Mom?" Sunbaenim sang teasingly, but the sorrow was evident in his eyes.

We were sitting in the balcony of his apartment looking at the city. It was so refreshing that I wanted to stay there forever.

"Kumbavayo Jennie-ssi," Sunbaenim said, breaking our silence.

"For what?" I asked even after knowing very well what he is referring to.

"Just...you know, everything." He said with a sigh.

"Hmm..." Was my creative reply.

We were sitting on the armchairs and drinking lemon flush, which was by the way made by him. I badly wanted to know what was wrong with him, but I just bit my tongue to control.

"It has been a while, you know since I cried I mean," he said breaking our silence.

"How long has been that 'awhile'?" I asked.

"I don't know, maybe 5 or 6...?" Sunbaenim said, more like questioned himself while sipping his juice.

"Months?" I asked turning towards him. It was a bit surprising that he cried that often.

He let out a small laugh and said, "I meant years."

After hearing that I didn't know how to reply. It felt as he just shared a hidden secret. He might be some great celebrity but right now he was just a man. A normal man with many secrets inside him.

One thing that our psychologists back at YG taught us was to never conceal your emotions. If we do, it keeps on adding up and one day it will just blow-up. Pretty badly. But they also taught to never slip in front of others. And by others, it meant anyone other than our label mates.

"Sometimes I wish I could be like you, Jennie-ssi. Just cry your heart out, but unfortunately, I can only help others, but I am never able to implement the same on me."

"But you did, today," I said.

Sunbaenim turned towards me and smiled. "Thank you, Jennie-ssi." 

"Sunbaenim..." I called. I don't think I can hold it any longer!

"Hmmm..."

"Mind if I ask what happened?" I blurted out. "Please don't think that I am intruding! It's just that if you share things you feel a bit lighter.." I trailed off.

"Ani, I was waiting for you to ask me," sunbaenim answered with a smile looking at the outside scenery. "I will tell you, one day, I surely will."

I just nodded in reply. Suddenly I remembered that I needed to text unnie. I quickly took out my phone and sent a message.

I heard sunbaenim clear his throat, which made me look up at him. He was facing me with a nervous expression and his ears were a bit red. Just what is he thinking that his ears are red?

“Ah… can I ask you a question Jennie-ssi?” he asked. I just nodded in reply enjoying the moment where he looked nervous as a wreck.

“Don’t get offended, but what are you doing here? I mean, I know I cracked up a bit while the phone call…but... you know…” He trailed off while rubbing his back of the neck. I let out a small chuckle and smiled. How can a grown man be so darn cute?

"I j-just... I just.." What am I even supposed to say? I have zero excuses. Before I could stop myself I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. And of course, as always I regret it the moment it came out of my mouth. "Well let's just put it like, I am a very good person and couldn't leave a friend who was in need alone." Sweet Lord Jesus! You can kill me now.

Sunbaenim threw his head back and laughed. "Oh my, Jennie-ssi, you are so precious," sunbaenim said while wiping his eyes. I immediately flushed. Damn this man and his sweet talks.

"I-It's just t-that y-you sounded so... broken. I couldn't stop myself." I mumbled the last part looking down on the grassy floor. Yeah, he had GRASS on his balcony floor. And it was cool as hell.

"Kumbavayo, Jennie-ssi," sunbaenim spoke in such a soft voice that I couldn't help but look up at him. The look in his eyes was so soft and warm that even the glaciers could melt in a second. "I mean it." God, why is he so damn handsome? He had no trace of makeup on his face yet he is so beautiful.

"Ani, gwaenchansmika." Gosh, what's with the air? Why is it getting hotter here when it is freaking November? I tried loosening the mood. "Think of it as a favor I am returning."

Sunbaenim just chuckled at my stupidity. "Are you staying the night?" He asked suddenly. What? Staying the night? I immediately turned beet red. What is sunbaenim saying? "Oh God! That came the wrong way!" Sunbaenim panicked. His ears turned red and he rubbed his neck with his hand. Does he always do this when he is nervous or embarrassed? It's damn cute!

"What I meant was it's getting late and... You know, you have to go to your dorms and all. But it's so late, I cannot send you back on your own." He trailed off explaining. Such a gentleman he is and such a gutter minded woman I am. "Shall I drop you?" He asked.

"Animida! It will be a hassle. I will go on my own."

"I can't let a lady go on her own when it's this late. Also when the lady came for my aid." He said the last part with a wink. I immediately flushed which, he for sure saw, I confirmed after hearing him chuckle.

"Well then, would you like to meet Akemi? He has been trying to find you I think. He kept wandering around the house like he is searching for someone." He said with a soft smile.

"Sure!" I immediately replied. I won't miss a single chance to meet that cute little thing.

The little creature came running towards me the moment I opened the door of the dog room.

"Aigoo~ look at my sweet baby," I said picking it up in my arms. As if he is replying to me, he barked which was sounded so darn cute considering he is still very young.

"Look at you, you look so happy. Did you miss her, Akemi?" Sunbaenim asked as he stood in front of me with a very sleepy Vivi in his arms.

"Really? Did Akemi miss me?" I asked the dog in an animated voice. I giggled when Akemi started my face with his tiny tongue. Oh God, he is so damn adorable.

"Akemi is so hyper that I couldn't leave him alone for a moment. He dawdled around the house from the moment you stepped out of the house."

"Really? Well, even I missed you, baby, ~" I cooed as I gave him an Eskimo kiss.

After playing with the two little fluff balls, while sunbaenim just sat down at the corner of the room doing some paper work, along with the dogs even I was weared-out. The dogs had gone to bed dog-tired (Pun intended), and I was on the way to do the same. I was lying on the floor with Vivi beside me and Akemi on my stomach, both sleeping soundly. I strained my neck to see what sunbaenim was doing.

Ever thought EXO sunbaenim's maknae is hot? Of course, you did. But when you see him in black puma joggers and plain grey loose t-shirt and when he has his reading glasses on? All other images of hotness just vanish into thin air. There was a small furrow in between his brows and his black locks falling on his face making him look so cool.

He kept reading his papers with close attention not even realizing that it was past midnight now.

I cleared my throat to get his attention, which was successful by the way.

"Oh!" He exclaimed. My helpless state made his titter. "How did you end up like that Jennie-ssi?" He came to me quietly and slowly lifted Akemi off me, trying not to wake him up. He made sure not to touch me while doing so.

"I think it's getting too late.” Sunbaenim said.

“Oh right. My phone is about to burst from all the missed calls from unnie. Well, I shall get going sunbaenim..” I trailed off.

“Ah, yes. I shall drop you. Just a second, let me grab the keys.”

“NO! Don’t, I cannot ask you to drop me at midnight. You need to sleep too.”

“What kind of gentleman does that to a lady, Jennie-ssi? There is no way I am going to let you go alone at midnight.” He left no space for argument.

I just stood by the door waiting for sunbaenim to come.

“Let’s go~” sunbaenim came adorning a black cap and mask. The cap he was wearing was same as mine and that made me blush a bit. It was as if we had a date and he was dropping me back at dorms. I put on my glasses and mask to cover and my face and followed sunbaenim to his car. Like a gentleman he is he opened the passenger door fro me.

The moment he started his car his phone started to ring. The name was displayed on the car monitor screen, which was connected to his phone.

“아무도”

It read. Who is ‘nobody’? That’s a weird name.

He immediately declined the call and disconnected his phone from the monitor and made it silent. There was an awkward silence between us for a while until I decided to break it.

“Is it someone you don’t like?” I really have no idea why asked sunbaenim that, but all I knew was that either way the answer will make things go to very bad or very good in between us. Because this is the first time we ever talked about this private.

There was pin drop silence between us. The sound of the heat blower was never this loud than today. His silence made me sweat buckets in mid winter. That was how thick the air was.

“Ani,” sunbaenim said after a big pause. “it’s just someone who has nothing but repugnance towards me.”

What?!