Jiwoo. 

It was my first day at Ecole Normale de Musique de Paris. I am  wearing a red skirt and a white and red Breton stripe sweater. I am wearing a new beret that I purchased yesterday from the centre commercial. Heejin placed a small red rose in it, stating that I look like I am ready for Christmas. I guess the red heels didn't help with anything. People stole glances at me and I immediately was in discomfort. I felt like I didn't look that good. I had my bag slunked over my shoulders, them feeling super uncomfortable. I had my head hanging low for the longest time. I got so used to it, but today, it just felt more uncomfortable. 

Everyone was glancing at me. Well, I guess I'm the new girl. That's one thing. But it's the first day of the semester. Why isn't everyone else looking at the other new people?  Did everyone here now each other? I looked at myself to make sure I was okay. I had History Of Music as my first class today. But the dean had requested to see me at once. He offered a letter to approve my attendance of the class in advance. He had also clipped the fact that it was urgent in my email. I tried to ask for help, but no one offered. Then someone taps my shoulder.

"Cherchez-vous le bureau du doyen?" (Are you looking for the dean's office?)

It's a girl with a butterfly tattoo on her neck and she's the most gorgeous thing I ever laid eyes on. I felt my heart pound. "Oui." 

"Je vais te promener là-bas. Je m'appelle Max." She raises her hand at me. "Et vous?" (I'll walk  you there. My name is Max. And you?)

"Jiwoo Kim." 

"Jiwoo Kim...." Max repeats. 

"Tu peux m'appeler Chuu." I smiled. She was so cute. She beamed at me, her hands running through her short cut. I was fascinated instantly. "Je viens de Corée. Je suis nouveau en france." (You can call me Chuu. I come from Korea. I am new to france).

Max nods. "Ensuite, je me ferai un devoir de vous faire visiter Paris, ma ville d’amour."( I'll make it a point to show you Paris, the city of love.)

So, we walk together to the dean's office. Max opens up to me about everything. How she was actually a they. Their openness about their androgynous was what led them to leave their parents. I learned more about genderfluidity as they told me about it in depth.  And Max was very interested in me mostly. They kept asking me questions about where I came from and about who am I as a person. Honestly, I barely even know myself. Max sighs as we're standing in front of a small building that read "bureau de doyen". "Nous sommes là," they say to me. We are here. We are in front of the dean's office. But I didn't want them to leave just yet. 

"Voulez-vous venir dîner avec moi ce soir ?" The confidence I thought I lost months ago came back. I had asked them out for dinner. Max smiles at me and then their lips. They nod. We exchange our numbers and then they kiss me on the cheek good bye. I wonder how they even got to know me. But by the time they wave me off I saw that Max was a tour guide/RA. Ah. That explains a lot. I make a mental note to ask the dean about empty dormitories or more places to live since I have to move out of Heejin's place once she leaves back for Korea.

The dean is at her desk. She raises her eyebrows and gives me a wide grin. "Ahhhh! la fille merveilleuse qui est Jiwoo Kim! I've been waiting for you for the longest time!" She raises from her desk and gives me a big hug. "I've heard so much about you from your portfolio. I never really looked that deeply into foreign students but I simply must say...you're an astonishing person. Someone gave you a rec and I simply mustn't say no to that." 

I smile greatly. This is a blessing in the skies. For the first time in a while, someone appreciates me. I never saw someone so animated in my entire life. I was glad someone put my work out there...but who did? I sat across from her. There was two cups of tea. She invites me to drink one and I nervously pick it up. "I already want you involved in the winter concert. The teachers are stunned by your background. Your mother was involved in opera, right?" 

"Yes." I was shocked by the amount of English she was speaking. Did she know I was fluent in French? I guess not. I just let it slide because I understood her. Most of my European language classes online involved a speaker fluent in English so I picked up on both more easily. 

"Jiwoo...I'm blessed to have you here. When Mr. Ha told me to look at your portfolio I certainly couldn't have resisted..."

I choked on the hot tea. Mr. Ha. As in...Sooyoung's uber-rich father, Mr. Ha. The Mr. Ha that drove me home at 11 at night after Sooyoung almost got me in trouble by keeping me out past curfew. The Mr. Ha who gave his daughter an Audi that she crashed the next day. The Mr. Ha who liked his daughter's girlfriend more than his own daughter because she was a good girl. Everything that he wanted Sooyoung to be, I was. "Ha....yeah." 

"He claimed that he looked at you as family for a while." 

I tried to think. Mr. Ha never knew that I was interested in this school. He was truly never in Sooyoung's life like that. But, he came around torward Sooyoung's final year at secondary school. He became more relevant. I folded my hands atop the table. "I have known him...he was a good man to me." 

"He praised you for your personality. There was nothing more. But, his daughter was with him at the dinner we were at together in England." England? Sooyoung went to England with Mr. Ha? I thought she found hanging out with him was unneccesary, considering the situations. But, I guess they got close or something. The dean continues to ramble about how wonderful I am for the school. I felt like I was just being an asset added because of my abilities and connections. Mostly connections. It lowered my mood again. I walked out as soon as she was done rambling about my greatness to find my class. 

I thought of the world as superficial after Sooyoung came into my life. She just made things so difficult. She also was a surface type of person and only took things for face value. I didn't want to think about her, but just as I thought...Sooyoung would find a way back into my life even if she wasn't in it anymore.