I have been crying to sleep last night and now I can feel the restlessness is creeping up unceremoniously inside of my heart. Thus, I can't shake off the thought that coming out like the bombs through my head. It's honestly killing me and the next morning, my soul is like missing somewhere where the moment I open my eyes with the complete silence filled up inside of the room I'm sleeping in.

I was waiting for him last night. I was hoping he is not leaving me alone, but he didn't come back and let me by myself instead. The whole night, I don't know where did he go but, rather than being in pain, I'm mainly in a sorrow state where I truthfully unable to stand by my own.

I forcibly push up my body and sitting weak at the side of the bed. My footprints touch the cold floor beneath me and the coldness will never win comparing with my misery heart right now.

Sighing.

Maybe I should have leave it to the fate again, either he wants to leave me nor still keep me as his wife, it's all in his hand. I decided, I'm not going to push him on how he is going to put me. I'll let him choose, I'll let him decide. That's it.

Breathe in, I stretch out both of my hands up in the air for a few seconds, before dropping them down and an instant, I rest my palm over my still flat belly, inhaling.

"We are going to be good dear, don't worry I will always with you" A tiny smile forms on my mouth. Softly pat them twice, At least I'm not technically alone.

Taking another deep breath, I quickly shrug off all the rotten mind that has been hunted me down since yesterday and keep my mind positive. That's how should I do it for now.

I hope today is going to be a good day to start on. Perhaps, After I settle down with Jung Daehyun.

Though, it's not as simple as I think.

I drag my body up and walk around to take my gray towel Daehyun had given to me. Looking in every inch of the room, I might use it for a while and it's funny we don't actually share the same room like how married couple normally do. I'm not sure how far this situation will take us but, if anyone ever find out about this, we are going to be laughed off In a pretty sarcastic way.

I stroll out from the bedroom and heading to the bathroom in a speed of the light. Musing on it, I'm still a wife so my duty is still on no matter what. That's what I have been vowed yesterday on my wedding and I can't avoid that. I take a quick bath and dress up in my daily clothes, with a simple plain T-shirt and home striped pants. My long hair twists into a cute knot bun.

The fresh bath makes me feeling better a bit, even not entirely as I eagerly approach the kitchen without looking for my husband. I bet he probably still pass out on a bed regarding how stress I've given him last night, based of my assumption. I have no idea what time he got home and I wish he won't murder me once he sees me.

Usually, when I woke up in the morning the breakfast would be all prepared by my mother, and it seems thing is not going to be the same anymore. I'm as a new housewife will have the job like my mother one is having. Nevertheless, this responsibility still won't regret me from marrying at the young age.

Observing closer at it, the kitchen had taking my breath away when the first time I landed my eyes on it, which everything was combined it into forest green and pure white. The cabinets are organized in well strategic, while bowls and mugs had been neatly-combed in a suitable place. There's still some space, but they don't look plainly empty and boring either. I honestly don't dare to lay a finger on them because the kitchen is definitely magnificent for sure. I feel no right to make them dirty at some points. I can guarantee he doesn't too. I have been checking them out back and forth, and now I stand rigid, staring blankly over the tall refrigerator, thinking about what should I make it for our breakfast.

Starting to count at it, It's a second day I'm being a wife by now. There's still an invisible progress because my problem with Daehyun hasn't solve it yet. Obviously.

I catch a glimpse of a toaster beside the stove, so I'm planning to make some toasts for us, maybe with jam or something like nutella if he'd happened bought it and keep it here. I don't think he made this amzing kitchen just for an exhibition, he didn't right?

First of all, I need the bread. If he doesn't have it, I probably have to change to another menu which I believe I don't know what is it. Ugh, I feel regret for not always on the kitchen when I was still living with my mom and this kind of thing never came across of my mind when I made a decision to get married. planning!

I open the cabinets one by one in hasty and finally, I found it right in the corner one. I breathe out in a sort of relief and my face bright right away before bringing them to the counter island.

I set it down on the surface table and lift up my head, frozen immediately.

Uh oh.

I have been watching by Daehyun now. He is looking at me through the back sofa he is sitting which facing the counter island straight to me. His facial expression is still the same and I can't read them at all. Of course, because there's no particularly a single smile on his face either, and It's scared the out of me comparing to yesterday.

.

Did he sleep there the entire night? On the sofa?

The staring contest didn't stay longer though when I break the ice between us real quick "Breakfast?"

I lift the bread to show at him with a force wide grin is showing clear over my face, but due to my disappointment and a slight embarrassment within me, there's absolutely no response from the male. As an expected- I should have not tried at the first place.

An instant, my shoulders slump down, giving up "Okay, Let's talk" Wiping off the fake smile I just had a while ago, I lock my eyes to his.

I thought he would agree it, but instead he shows me how he'd turned into 90 degree of himself toward me. He moves his gaze away and pushing his body up from the sofa before walking off and unsympathetically leaving me here without a single word.

He is avoiding me.

Quickly, I turn around on my heel and fan my face harder "Okay, I'm not crying"

Which fighting over the tears that starting to fill up in my eyes gradually. "I can't cry" I remain myself again.

"Please don't cry, please don't cry" I keep on chanting over and over like a broken tape while my feet walking back and forth at the small kitchen area of his. I raise my head up and hold the tears back as promising to not ever going to break down again.

"You are strong, Seori-ah!" I encourage and trying to distract myself again. Once again, I'm busying myself by looking through the cabinets, hoping there will be something to put on the bread once they get toasted and gladly, I found strawberry jam where I have figured out he'd put it inside the refrigerator instead. I take it out and set it on top of the counter island and go to his white colored toaster before starting the work. I put two pieces of bread at each sides of it inside them, pushing the button and wait for them to be ready. I set it for five minutes.

I didn't realize I have made a hole by staring at them. But when the sound comes out, I flinch and quickly taking them out with my bare hand before laying them at the empty plate. Then, I make it for the second round and this time I didn't wait anymore as I turn around, bringing the plate along.

"OH MY-" I almost let them slip off and nearly crash it on the floor where I have been greeting by his sudden presence at the counter island.

I wide my eyes.

"I thought.."

"You said you want to talk about this" His face is serious to death, the look at his eyes make me in fright for a second. I open my mouth to say something, but my mind is blank for some reason as I seal them back.

I take two more steps then slowly set it the plate in front of him, swallowing the saliva down to my throat. His front hair looks slightly wet, telling me he just cleaned his face and probably just coming from brushing his teeth too. I seriously thought he is really in a mood of avoiding me. I blink my eyes, still in disbelief. He is sitting there with his arms fold together on the counter, darting his gaze on my face as if waiting for me to start first.

I wipe the sweat off on my palm over my pants and take a breath. "I come to think that you have a right to make a fair decision-"

"About the baby.." He cuts me off again, his full lips "If you want to know, I'd thought once to take a child adoption and told my mom about it, but, of course she disagreed it and insisting me to get the child by my own instead." His face is calmer than before "She just didn't want me to end up being alone for the rest of my life, that's why I thought to adopt one, but she meant it in something else"

His hand starts to touch the toast I just made it and quickly I reach the knife and hand it to him. He opens the jam jar and start to apply it on his toast "I don't like to complicate thing, so I will just accept the baby you're carrying now"

I'm about to draw a smile on my face.

"Although, the baby is not mine"

The sadness takes over me the moment I listened to his last sentence. I take a notice the tone he is using, there's like he never care about himself. He deserve to be mad too, but he just like- brushing off and taking it to himself whether the thing is good or bad. 

I have my gaze down on the plate and suddenly his voice tears my thought away "Is he the person you love?"

I look at his face, trying to understand his question before my lips forming into a tiny smile. I weakly shake my head "He was the person I've put my trust on, I honestly don't.. know him" There is an invisible sorrow in my face if he happened to notice it. But I don't think he does when he gives me a look like I was sort of crazy person.

"But, this baby is not a mistake" I tell him quickly, and automatically touch my belly with my palm, trailing my gaze down at it "I don't want to assume it as a mistake.. It-it's probably a gift. Yeah, I-I will call it as a gift from the god" My voice tremble without my realization, sounding about to cry.

I lift my head up and his face is soften for a brief second before turning into an expressionless.

The silence fills up around us before I clear my throat, erasing the sad feeling.

"Before that" I inhale, opening my mouth again " I want to let you know that I didn't marry you because of this. It actually happened after I- I made the decision to be your wife. Well, you know, I honestly didn't see this coming, but trust me "I pause, staring at him unwavering "I really wanted to get married before. It was really coming from my heart. So.." I clash both of my hands together in front of him, begging. "Please, please don't think I'm using you. If you want, I will let you file a divorce on me but, in one condition, you can do that after I've done given a birth to my baby later" I bite my bottom lip, hoping.

He remains silent with staring more at me, then running his gaze at the toast he is holding. With a firm voice he says, "I won't do that. Cut it down your good intention on me. This marriage will still keep going till the end. What I've said a while ago is a final, you don't need to worry about it." Now, he finally takes a bite on it.

Immediately, I drop both of my hands on my sides, deep down I'm impressed by it. I watch him slowly chew on his meal before strolling around the counter island and stand right beside the chair he is sitting.

"Can I.." 

My voice had grabbed his attention as he turns his head, slightly startled with my presence, his eyes enlarge.

I gather my courage "Can I.. like.. hug you?"

He blinks and look awfully hesitate on it because I know it's so random.

He opens his mouth to say something, but I proceed to hug him without getting his permission. Lingering my arms around his shoulder as I rest my head on his stiff back.

"Honestly.." I start after a moment of silence, with shaky voice I continue "I-I'm scared, I thought I was going to be alone" My tear is forming unwillingly before I close my eyes shut and let them dripping down freely.

"Thank you" I whisper slow, squeezing more to him.

I can feel his body budge on his chair before I hear his croaky, muffled voice through his back "Let me know, if you want to make report"

I shot my eyes open and crack a small smile behind him. I bet he knows that I'm actually hiding something else from him. Apparently, he is right. I didn't tell him the whole story, in fact, there's an unspoken truth I can't tell about, but surely it's not the time yet.

Nodding, once again I whisper "Thank you so much"

His mom was right, He is not only a good guy, but he is an angel and going to be my angel starting from now on.

Bap is starting their tour in North america, if any of you is happen to go to any of the concert, please cheer them up and make them happy. They have been through a lot. TT 

Btw thank you for still reading my story ^^

My writting is not quite good and somehow it makes me want to quit, even my idea keeps on coming lol.