Chapter 8  The Thrill of the Chase  

We're at the Accident and Emergency room.

The girl is still unconscious; her face is white and there is a cut on her lips. Her long hair is matted around her still face.

The doctor comes and examines her. 

"She'll be fine," he says. "We took her blood, and there are traces of sleeping pills in it. She took at least six sleeping pills."

We look at him in shock.

"It wasn't a suicide attempt, if that's what you're thinking. She's a bit malnourished, though. She needs to eat more, and cut down on the sleeping pills," the doctor says, and looks at us. "Two of you seem to be in worse shape than her."

It's only then that I notice Jin kook's arm; there's a long gash, and it's bleeding.

Come to think of it, my arm hurts, too.

Jin kook starts to yell as I hold his arm, and look at the gash more closely. He brushes against my elbow and I wince in pain.

He stops screaming at once, and his face changes to one of concern.

"We need to get your arm checked out," he says.

It turns out that I have a torn ligament; it's way more serious than Jin kook's gash, but the way he's hollering as the nurse cleans the wound, you'd think that he's the one with the torn ligament.

My arm is in a blue sling; I must say that it looks pretty cool.

"That girl, " I say. "How do you know her?"

"We've met before," he says vaguely. "Do you have Kim Min young's number?"

"Yes, I do," I say.

Jin kook's face turns an alarming shade of purple.

"Why would you have his phone number?" he splutters. "I thought that I told you to stay away from him."

I take out my phone.

"Why do you want his phone number?"I ask.

"Kim Moo young knows the girl," he says.

I call Moo young's number.

A short while later, he comes walking in through the door. 

He must have driven here as soon as he received my call.

"She'll be fine," I say. "The doctor says that she passed out because she took some sleeping pills."

He's looking at me, at my arm.

"What happened to your arm?" he asks.

His eyes are filled with concern.

"It's nothing," I say. "I just tore a ligament, that's all."

He keeps looking at my arm, and he's frowning.

"My sling is pretty cool, don't you think?" I say. "It's such a pretty blue."

He smiles, and the frown goes away.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" he asks, and his eyes are so warm and soft that I feel a bit giddy.

Jin kook walks in right at the moment, and stops when he sees Moo young.

I suddenly remember where I have seen the girl before.

"She was with you at the movies," I say. "I remember."

"Could I talk to you for a second?" Jin kook says, and places an arm on Moo young's shoulder.

"Sure," Moo young says, and smiles at me again, before walking off with Jin kook.

I'm not sure what they talked about about, but it took a while, and when Jin kook comes back in, he looks a bit grim.

Moo young seems unfazed, though.

"You can go home," he says. "I'll take care of her, and send her home, when she wakes up."

"Go and rest," he says, and he's looking at me, and smiling that smile again.

"Since when did you become so close to that Kim Min young?" Jin kook asks.

We're driving home; it's still drizzling.

He glances at me.

"I notice that you were talking to him in banmal," he continues.

"We're not close," I say.

I change the topic before he starts nagging me about not seeing Moo young again.

"Did Yoo ri have car trouble? Is that why she was accelerating? It was accelerating so fast." 

I remember the car coming at me from behind, its engine roaring, the headlights blinding me.

I feel a chill.

"She took sleeping pills," Jin kook says. "She probably fell asleep at the wheel. That's why the car was accelerating."

"It's a good thing that I was there to pull you out of the way " he says. "My arm is hurting so bad now."

He starts to yell again, all the way home.

The next morning, I'm at the bus stop, but I'm feeling so tired and drained that I decide to skip work. I'm not up to it at all. I call Ms. Hwang to tell her that I'm not coming in today because I'm not feeling well, but I will later if I feel better. I get up and head back home, and then I hear a honk next to me. 

It's Moo young; he's in his truck, with the window wound down.

"Are you okay?" he asks. "C'mon in; I'll give you a ride home."

I'm too tired to say no, so I climb in and we drive off.

"I'm fine," I say. "It's just a little chilly."

"You left your book at the hospital," he says, indicating the hardcover book next to him.

"That's my brother's book," I say. "He must have forgotten to bring it home."

We reach my house, and I thank him, and take the book.

I'm fumbling with the key to open the gate, with the book and the sling making it difficult to fit the key in the lock.The key drops, but before I can pick it up, he's already swooped the key into his hand and is unlocking the gate. It swings open, and I walk in while he follows me closely from behind.

I feel his presence, his comforting warmth.

I feel safe.

He waits until I key in my password to the front door, and enter the house, before turning and walking away.

He gets in the truck and drives off.

Jin kook is in when I enter the house.

"I didn't go to work today," I say. "I slept 12 hours."

"You left this," I say, and pass him the book. "Kim Moo young passed it to me."

He stops eating his cold potatoes at once.

"How did you meet him when you didn't go to work?" He's looking suspiciously at me.

I stare at him across the table.

"I met him at the bus stop. He gave me a lift home."

"I thought that I told you not to see him anymore," he splutters.

"Remember that girl, Eun seon, in primary school?" I say. "Her mother told her that she was not allowed to mix with me. You're like Eun seon's mother."

"I'm nothing like her!" he starts yelling. "I just...I just don't feel good about that guy. I get a really bad vibe from him."

"Don't hang out with him because he's an orphan and because he gives off a bad vibe," I say wearily. "It's Eun seon's mother all over again. It's the same thing."

"I'll meet him even more because you said that," I retort.

He almost chokes.

I get up to go to my room.

At the door, I pause.

I've never had a mother.

No father, either.

It hurts, the memory of that moment when he spoke those words to me.

"Don't treat him like this, because he's just like me, ...he's... ," I almost say "an orphan", but I stop, "he's from Haesang, like us. We should be nice to fellow Haesangians."

I walk out of my gate the next morning, and he's waiting for me in his truck.

"I'll give you a ride," he smiles. "C'mon, get in."

"Where's your company?" he asks.

I tell him, and we chat all the way.

"Are you feeling better?" he asks.

"No," I say. "I feel lousy."

He laughs.

"How do you know Yoo ri?" I ask.

"I'm not attracted to her," he says, and smiles.

I snort.

"Whatever. I just want to know how you know her."

He doesn't offer an explanation, and I don't press him, either. 

We reach the company and I hop out.

He leans over and grins at me.

"Come out thirty minutes earlier tomorrow. Our date this morning was way too short."

Our date?

He gets out of the truck and stands there, looking at me.

"You should just date me," he says. "I like you."

Huh?

Is he joking?

He's watching me and waiting for my reaction. His eyes are gleaming with wickedness and mischief.

He's not joking.

He meant every word that he just said.

And I notice something else.

He's enjoying himself enormously, studying me, looking at my reaction. 

He's getting a kick out of my confusion.

I feel a surge of anger.

How could he say those words so easily when he's dating my best friend?

He's COMMITTED to her, for crying out loud.

There are rules in a relationship, even a relationship as young as theirs, and the most important rules are:

1. You commit yourself to your girlfriend.

2. You do not hit on your girlfriend's best friend.

What does it say for him, for his character, that he's hitting on me while he's dating Seung ah?

I am angry, and disgusted, and disappointed.

"You're crazy," I say.

I speak in a thin, tight voice, fighting for every ounce of self-control to stop myself from screaming at him.

"I'm serious," he says, casually, as if he's asking me what day of the week it is. "I want to date you. I think that I like you. And then I think that I don't. I'll need to keep seeing you to find out for sure."

I roll my eyes in an effort to lighten the tension - and by tension, I'm talking about myself, because he's totally relaxed and cool, and it's no big deal, not at all, to suddenly tell some girl out of the blue that you like her and that you want to date her. It's normal, it's okay, it doesn't matter even if that girl happens to be your girlfriend's best friend.

"Get a grip on your commonsense, for Seung ah's sake."

I deliberately mention her name, in case he has forgotten about her existence.

I stalk off.

"You can keep your policeman," he yells after me, laughing. "You can date us both, I don't mind."

Is that his intention? Is two-timing his game? Does he get a kick out of dating two best friends at the same time?

I am so mad and confused that I can't concentrate on my work all morning.

I get a call from Seung ah. She wants to meet me at her studio during my lunch break.

I go to her studio, my mind in a whirl.

Should I tell her that Moo young is hitting on me?

Why have things become so complicated?

"What happened to your arm?" she asks, concerned.

"Oh, it's nothing," I say. "I tripped."

There are boxes everywhere.

"Are you moving?" I ask.

"Jin kang," Seung ah says, and she's got that look that she had when she told me that she's dating Moo young; all lit up and bursting with excitement. "I want to tell you a secret."

She grabs me and says breathlessly, her eyes shining like stars, "I'm going to run away with Moo young."

I stare at her.

What?

"I sold this studio for 2 million," she says, beaming with pride at her ingenuity.

My heart sinks.

"But what would your parents say?" I ask.

"They bought it for me, so it's mine," she shrugs."I'll go to Greece, or Morocco, somewhere far away with Moo young, somewhere that no one would know."

"There's no place like that in the world," I say.

I sound stiff, unethusiastic, the dissenting and dampening Voice of Reason.

She draws away, and her face closes up at my tone, my reaction.

I am no longer An Ally.

She shuts her mind to my words.

She's not listening to me. 

She prattles on about her plans, ignoring me, and her lips curve into a smile at the future she has created in her mind.

"Or maybe Haesang, if he likes it there. He's from Haesang. I wouldn't mind living in Haesang," she says, her eyes dreamy. "Do you know what he told me? He said that he comes from a large family, and that he lived with his aunts, and that they all wore the same clothes all year round. Isn't that funny?"

His aunts.

They all wore the same clothes all year round.

The nuns at the orphanage.

A memory surfaces.

"I've never had a mother."

"No father, either."

"You said that we're not to pity each other."

My heart breaks with a sudden surge of pain and pity for him.

I look at Seung ah, her brow furrowed in confusion at his words.

She is fumbling in the dark, trying in her own way to know him, naively applying the rules of her closetted, sheltered world, to understand him.

But the truth is that she is lost, out of her depth with him.

I feel a sense of dread.

I walk out of my gate the next morning.

He's waiting for me in his truck.

"You're late," he grins. "I thought that I said to leave thirty minutes early."

I ignore him, walk past him and get on the bus.

The bus moves, and I stand and text him.

Text: Do you have any idea what Seung ah is thinking right now?

I look out of the window.

He's driving next to the bus, and gestures, indicating making a call with his hand.

My phone is ringing.

It's him.

"Get lost," I say, loudly, my voice flat, with a note of finality in it.

The girl next to me turns and stares at me.

"Okay," he says.

I look out of the window.

He pulls back, and swerves away.

I'm on the bus later in the day when I get a call from Seung ah.

She's crying. 

I run to the cafe.

She's sitting at a table, crying.

"What happened?" I ask.

"It's all my fault," she sobs.

"What is?" I ask.

"It's all my fault. He got fired because of Woo sang. I told him that I sold the studio, that we're rich, that we could go anywhere that he wanted, maybe somewhere warm like Greece. I told him that I wouldn't take anything with me when we leave, just one bag, and he said, sure, we can go. Then he got up, and I asked him where he was going, and he said that he was going home to work on his resume."

"I think that I hurt his pride, because all that I talked about was money," she sobs.

Her face hardens, and she says, viciously, "I hate Woo sang oppa."

"Is it a good idea for you to run away with Moo young?" I ask.

"If I don't,  Woo sang oppa and my mother will never leave me alone," she cries.

"Slow down, Seung ah; you've got to slow down," I say. "Get to know him better."

"I hate my mother. I hate my father. I hate Woo sang oppa " she spits out, her voice rising.

"You need to know what kind of person Moo young is," I say. "You have to find out if he's the right person for you, and if you two are a good match. You've only dated for two months."

He's not the right guy for you. He tried to hit on me this morning. He doesn't care for you. It's a game to him. He played with you, and now that he's got you, he's bored. The thrill of the chase was what made it fun for him, but the chase has ended with an easy conquest; conquest is no fun, not anymore, because the thrill of the chase is gone. So he's switched to a new target, so that he can rekindle the thrill of the chase again.

And the new target is me. 

I can't say that to her.

She wouldn't believe me, anyway.

"I get what you're saying," she says stiffly. "But you don't know him. That's why you're saying that."

Her face is mutinous, sulky.

She refuses to look at me. She's angry with me because I'm not saying the things that she wants to hear.

Give him time. He's hurt. You hurt his pride. But he loves you, and he'll come back to you. Just hang in there. It'll be fine.

She wants me to say all these, but I can't.

He doesn't love her.

He's never coming back to her.

She gets up and walks away.

The next morning, I wait for Moo young at the bus stop.

He breaks into a wide smile when he sees me.

I get up and stalk to the playground.

He follows me.

"What are you going to do about Seung ah?" I ask.

His smile fades.

"Oh, you wanted to see me about her," he says, and sighs.

He kicks a pebble idly, and doesn't say anything for a while.

"I don't love her and I ignored her calls and her text messages, but she doesn't get it," he finally says, breaking the silence. "That's why I had to tell her everything."

"Do you want to know what I said?" he asks, fixing his eyes on mine. "Fine. I'll tell you what I said."

He leans in close to me, so that our faces are almost touching.

He starts to speak, and the words trip off his tongue, easily, lightly, cruelly.

"I can't leave."

"There's nothing between us."

"I don't love you."

"That's what I said," he says softly.

He looks at me, and his eyes are bland, untroubled, disengaged, with a tiny flicker of amusement hovering in their depths.

"Why did you toy with her feelings?" I ask.

"You know church, and how you go to church even though there's no visible God? Love's like that, too."

What's he saying? That he toyed with Seung ah because he was curious? Or was it because he had nothing better to do?

"Don't you care about the other person's feelings at all?" I say. "Because it's her problem?"

"Yes," he says.

"It's her problem, so it's got nothing to do with you. Is that it?"

"Yes," he says.

"Have you ever cared, ever truly cared about anyone?" I ask.

"Yes," he says, and smiles. 

"You," he says softly.

"Does someone else's feelings, someone else's heart mean nothing to you at all?" I cry, agonized, at the supreme indifference, the utter callousness of the man in front of me.

This man exists in his own world where the only things that matter are his own self-gratification, and the girls that weave in and out of his life offer a brief, transient moment of distraction.

What happened to that little boy from long ago, that turned a child's tender, loving heart into a impenetrable, inhuman wall of stone?

His smile fades.

His eyes search my face. 

They look puzzled.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asks.

His eyes are unsure, uncertain.

I've never seen him look like this before.

"Because I pity you," I answer.

I walk away.

"Jin kang!" he calls after me, and again, "Jin kang!"

There's something different in his voice, something that I've never heard before.

He sounds almost...almost desperate.

I keep walking.