It’s been four years since Sowon left him, and life have been good to him. He’s succeeding in his career and is living in a lavish apartment in cheongdam-dong. After the breakup, his friends helped him cope with the heartbreak. Their support was an important factor in Jin’s successful career and source of happiness in his private life.

Over the years, Yoongi became his closest friend. He introduced him to Irene. She was a journalist at the chosun Ilbo, one of the biggest newspapers in South Korea. They became friends after she interviewed him on the rise of Kpop in the west. Many would say that she was the most beautiful woman they’d ever laid eyes on. She has classy mannerism and a quiet demeanour. But when she talks she’s articulate and smart. They’ve been steady for two years, and according to jin they’re still going strong.

Jin parks his car in the parking space of the multi storey car park of his apartment complex. It was 17:30, four hours earlier than the regular time he usually comes home. On his way home, He had stopped at a well known flower shop to buy a bouquet of white flowers, Irene’s favourite. It’s been a while since they spent quality time together, and he wanted to change that. So He planned a romantic dinner for the two of them.

He turns of his car and ends the conversation he had with his assistant. From now on, his assistant could not call him until 4AM tomorrow. It was something they discussed this morning.

Not before checking if he’d forgotten something, Jin walks towards the door of the apartment complex. Inside the elevator he starts fidgeting with his tie. For some reason he was nervous for the date. Actually, he had a weird feeling all day, but it started to bug him a few minutes ago. He takes a deep breath and shakes the negative energy of off him. Why should he be nervous? Irene will be happy to see him.

The elevator arrives at the fifth floor, his floor. He steps out and walks towards his door at the middle of the corridor. “Oh Jin !” He suddenly hears a familiar voice. It’s Mrs.Kwon, his next door neighbor. halfly running, she approaches him with a happy smile. “It’s so nice to see you here.” she says while giving him a motherly hug.

“Yes, I’m having dinner with Irene. How are you Mrs. Kwon?” Jin asks. Mrs Kwon was his favourite neighbour. Mostly because he could talk to her freely. Just like him, she came from humble beginnings. Her son became a successful lawyer and rents the apartment she’s currently living in.

“I’m doing great. How nice of you two!” Mrs Kwon says ecstatically and lightly hit him on the upper arm. It’s something she does to also feel the muscles on his toned body. “I see you bought roses, how pretty. I bought these at the store” Mrs Kwon says and held a small bouquet of Smeraldo flowers in front of Jin.

Jin looks at the flowers in surprise. He did not see the bouquet earlier, and it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. In a flash, the day he proposed to Sowon came back. For a moment he felt the well known pain in his chest, but he had learned himself to think of something else if felt the pain again.

“They’re beautiful Mrs Kwon” he says hurriedly. “I wished to speak to you longer, but Irene’s waiting for me.” He gives an apologetic face.  

Mrs Kwon understood and ushered jin towards his apartment door. She wished him good luck and before she went back into her apartment, asked jin to greet Irene for her, .

Jin takes a deep breath. He wanted to clear his mind before going in. He didn’t want an ex from the past to ruin a beautiful night like this, and Sowon nearly ruined him.

Jin opens the door and the scent of roses welcomes him. The lights in the entrance corridor are out. Jin wonders if Irene's home and checks the shoe closet. All her heels were still there, but he failed to see the extra pair of shoes beneath the shoe closet. He shrugs and hangs his jacket on the coat rack above the closet.

Jin stopped in his tracks when he was walking into the living room. It’s dimly lit and the radio was playing a slow song softly. He looks around in confusion not comprehending the situation. Then he suddenly hears sounds from another room.

Quietly and slowly he walks towards the room. As he gets nearer the sounds become recognizable. They’re heavy breathing, moans and squeaks. He realised what was happening and every feeling in his body left. But Jin didn’t stop walking, he kept going, and in his chest something heavy started. That pressure spread through his chest, and it brought disbelieve with it.

He opens the door and the scene that he had hoped to never see in his life is playing in front of him. Irene is having with someone other than him. Jin tears up and the roses fall out of his hand. The thud is loud enough for the two people to hear. They look at the door and see him standing there. Quickly they untangled themselves and covered their parts with the blanket.

For a short minute, the three people looked at each other without saying anything. Jin could not believe what he just saw. He was paralyzed and couldn’t move or say anything. Irene broke the silence. “Jin please…” Her words hit him back from his trans and he left the room without saying anything to the two.

Jin walks back into the living room and put both of his hands on the sofa to lean on it. He forces himself to breath in and out. But the feeling worsened and he let himself slide on the couch. His breathing starts to become heavy and soon he finds himself unable to control his feelings. Tears are rolling down his face and he starts to cry. Behind him Irene’s lover sprinted for the front door, and Irene came into the living room dressed in a bathing robe.

She’s anxious. “Jin” She starts and puts her hand on his shoulder. He flinches and moves his upper body away. Irene slowly withdraws her hand and takes a seat on the armchair next to the couch. For a while, they sat there without talking. Jin was in no state to talk and Irene needed time to sort out her feelings and thoughts.

“Why?” Jin asks and wipes the tears from his face. The initial shock was gone, but he felt numb.

A tear leaves Irene’s eye as she answers. “I was lonely jin, and after your promotion we were not the same.”

Jin felt a pang. Was this all his fault? “But we decided to focus a lot on our work. We decided on it... together.” His voice hoarse.

“We did” Irene answers and she starts to cry. “But it hurted our relationship, and there were times that I needed you... and you weren’t there.”

“Sometimes, I needed you too. But I did not sleep with other woman.”

Finally Irene turns her head to Jin “You talk about her in your sleep.”  

Jin frowns and looks at her. “What ?”

“You talk about Sowon in your sleep. Telling her to comeback, telling her you still love her.” she says in defeat. Both of them were still for a long time.

Sowon. The name still haunted him to this day. Yes he frequently thinks about her, but never talks about her with his friends. He wanted to show them and Irene that he could live without Sowon, because he knew that she was the past and Irene was the future.

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel unwanted. If I ever made you doubt my love for you… you should have talked to me Irene. We could’ve found a solution together.”

Irene she stared at the ground. Deep in her heart, she knows that it’s too late. Her lover was not some pawn she used because she’s lonely. He’s a family friend and she’s known him since her twelfth birthday.

“I know Jin…” It was wrong to cheat, but Irene’s feelings for jin had been wavering. Before she could control the situation, it became complicated. Time past and she couldn’t tell him the truth, she couldn’t leave him or end her affair. Everything became more and more confusing, and to make things worse, Jin started to spent more time at work to get his promotion.

“Do you love me ?” Jin suddenly asks quietly, dreading the answer.

“I don’t know” Irene finally confesses.

He stands up and walks out of the room, silently crying. He couldn’t stand to be in this apartment anymore. It was stained by the stranger and Irene. He didn’t know when it started, but the two years, they spent together, suddenly seemed like a lie to him. He never thought that Irene could do such a thing like that.

Jin takes his coat and the bag he left in front of the front door. In the distance, Irene was calling him to come back. But he didn’t listen, he had heard enough. He wanted to be alone and desperately needed a drink. His thoughts flashes to his friends: Yoongi, Taehyung and Jimin. He suddenly misses them.