Dinner with Jin was amazing. I've never met someone who can eat quite like him. I have no idea where he puts it all, and I've never eaten with someone who enjoys their food just as much as he does.

Contrary to what I expected, he took me to a small, out of the way restaurant and not somewhere fancy. It was obvious that he visited this place frequently as all of the staff welcomed him like he was a member of the family. The food was absolutely amazing… I think part of that was because I was with someone who enjoyed food as much as Jin.

Once we had finished eating, I had to return to the office, even though Jin had offered to drive me home. I had left my laptop and a few other things at the office and I needed to pick them up before going home. Jin took me back to the office and told me he’d wait outside for me.

I made my way up to our floor, a dopey grin on my face as I thought about how amazing today had turned out to be. I stepped around the row of my cubicle and almost ran smack into Wonsik. “What are you still doing here?” I asked, shocked to see him here. Everyone had finished over an hour ago. “I was waiting for you. Where have you been all day?” he asked, his tone almost accusing.

My eyes narrowed at him, “I was working.” I said as I moved around him to grab my things. “Is there something going on between you and that Seokjin guy?” he asked, sounding hurt. I huffed loudly as I spun to face him. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no. Why can you just drop this, Wonsik?” I asked. He stepped closer to me, but thankfully left a little distance between us. “Nari, I miss you.” He admitted, his sincere gaze begging me to believe him.

“What happened that day… it was the biggest mistake of my life and I have never regretted anything so much in my entire life.” He said, a note of desperation in his voice that I had never heard before. Even when he had tried to explain everything back then he hadn’t sounded like this. “Then why did you do it?” I asked, trying to keep my gaze firm even as I felt my eyes burn with tears. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself that I was over everything, deep down I knew it was all a lie. I had hoped that if I told everyone around me that I was okay, that eventually I would believe it too.

Unfortunately, I had managed to convince the people around me that I was fine. But the only person that wasn’t convinced was myself. There were still nights when I couldn’t sleep because of the pain in my chest as I relived all of the memories I shared with Wonsik. But because I had convinced everyone that I was okay, no one could see that pain. I couldn’t take back the words I had said and say that actually, I wasn’t okay.

Wonsik's face crumpled. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I was just nervous about getting married or if I went crazy or something but all I know is, the second I saw your face I knew I had messed up. That one stupid moment cost me everything that was important to me.” he put his hand into his pocket and pulled out my engagement ring which I had thrown at him when I had found him and the wedding planner.

“I keep this with me every day. It’s a reminder of the promise that I made to myself that I would never betray someone I love like that again.” he said as he stepped closer to me. I could see the unshed tears burning behind his eyes. “I’ve never stopped loving you.” He said, his voice a rough whisper. “Please give me another chance.” He begged.

I took a half step back. “Wonsik, I can’t.” I whispered back. “I just can’t.” I said as my tears finally won and slowly started slipping down my cheeks. “I would be paranoid. Every time you spoke to another woman I would be paranoid that you would end up doing the same thing again.” he opened his mouth to protest, but I held my hand up to stop him. “I know you say you wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from thinking like that. And even if you did keep your promise to be faithful, my paranoia would probably destroy our relationship in the end anyway.”

I let out a deep sigh and quickly wiped away my tears, hoping that my mascara is just as waterproof as it claims to be. “I’m so sorry Wonsik, but we will never get back together.” I said as I grabbed my things. “I’m sorry.” I repeated as I rushed passed him, ignoring the pain radiating from my ankle as I rushed towards the elevator.

Please don’t let him follow me. Please don’t let him follow me. I begged as I waited for the elevator. I rushed into it and stabbed the button to take me to the ground floor, not daring to look out the doors as they slipped shut, just in case I saw Wonsik there. I sniffed loudly, praying that the elevator didn’t stop at any other floors.

I checked out my reflection in the shiny surface of the elevator and quickly wiped away the black smudges of mascara that had appeared under my eyes. I give this mascara a solid eight out of ten for its waterproof claim. I stepped out of the elevator and made my way out of the building.

I jumped when I heard a car horn beeping. I turned around and saw Jin waving at me from his car. . I totally forgot he was waiting for me. There's no way for me to get out of getting a ride home. . I swiped underneath my eyes again, thankful that my mascara wasn’t too smudged as I made my way over to Jin’s car. “Hey, I thought you got lost or something.” He said as I slipped into the car.

His smile instantly disappeared as soon as he saw my reflection. “What happened?” he asked, his voice full of worry. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.” I replied, not able to look him in the eye.

“Nari…”

“Please just take me home.” I begged, my voice breaking as the tears I had tried so hard to contain once again started slipping down my cheeks. I couldn’t even wipe them away, my hands were balled into fists so tight I knew there would be nail marks on my palms. I could feel Jin’s hesitation as he looked at me. Part of him obviously wanted to confront me about the reason for my sudden emotional outburst. But thankfully, he decided against it and after mumbling a few curses under his breath, he put his car into gear and started driving.

The ride was silent. I was so lost in my own thoughts we probably could have crashed and I wouldn’t have noticed. We were almost halfway back to my apartment before I broke the silence. “I lied to you.” I blurted out suddenly. My eyes were boring holes into the dashboard in front of me. I saw Jin look at me from the corner of my eye. “About what?” he asked cautiously.

I wiped my eyes, blinking back the rest of the tears that were threatening to make an appearance. “Earlier today, you asked me about my relationship with Wonsik. I told you that he’s just someone that I used to know… but that’s not exactly true.” I said, taking a deep breath before I continued. “We were engaged.” I said, my voice weak. It felt so strange to be talking about this, especially with my boss, but for some reason, Jin just put me at ease, he made me want to talk about these things that I couldn’t talk about with anyone else.

“I ended it about half a year ago.” I admitted, my gaze falling to focus on my hands which were clenched into fists again. “I caught him with another woman. It was our wedding planner.” I said, a bitter laugh making its way out of my mouth. “I haven’t seen him since then and I don’t know how he found out about me working here or on the Star project, but ever since he came to our company he's been trying to convince me that we should get back together.” I said, a shaky sigh working its way out of me. “He was waiting for me when I went upstairs, that’s why I was so upset.”

My confession was met with silence. I waited for several minutes but Jin said nothing. I looked up and realised that the car was no longer moving. At some point, Jin had pulled over to the side of the road and I hadn’t even noticed. I looked over at him and was surprised to see him staring right at me. I could see so many conflicting emotions running over his face as he looked right at me. Not seeing the façade that I held in place every day, but the real me. The one that’s fragile and still just a little bit broken.

I hesitantly waited for him to speak, but he only continued staring at me. I couldn’t take his intense gaze, so I dropped my gaze to my hands again, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid for just telling my boss something so personal. What the hell was I thinking?

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said all of that.” I said, trying to force a smile onto my face, but I could tell that it wasn’t convincing at all. “Don’t apologise.” He said, his voice so gentle and full of worry that I almost broke down in tears again. It had been so long since someone had spoken to me with such care in their voice. Everyone else that knew my past were convinced that I had healed and moved on already. The problem with being so good at convincing everyone around you that you're okay is that in reality, you're not and no one knows.

He took my hand into his large, warm one, my gaze following our interlinked fingers. “Don’t apologise.” He repeated. “I’m honoured that you felt comfortable enough with me to confide in me.” he said, giving me a breath taking half smile. “I promise that any time you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you. Even if you just need someone to listen to you vent or to let you cry it out until you feel better, I can be that person.” I gave him a watery, thankful smile, praying that my mascara was still holding up. “And I also promise that I’m going to get rid of Wonsik.” He said, my jaw dropping at his words. “Jin, you can’t!” I said desperately. “If you get rid of him then we lose the contract!” I cried, surprised by his words.

“Screw the contract!” he half yelled, his grip tightening around my hand, his intense stare pining me in place. “You're more important to me than any stupid contract.” He said, making my heart start beating at an almost alarming rate. “Jin…” I said, not sure what to say. He let out a sigh and sat back in his seat. “Let’s not worry about it anymore tonight. You’ve had a long day and you're still injured, I’ll take you home.” He said as he finally released my hand and started the engine.

The rest of the drive happened in complete silence. I think both of us had said more than we had intended to. I had never intended on confessing my relationship with Wonsik to Jin and I don’t think he meant to say what he did. I could barely process what he had said. My brain was pulling me in a million different directions and I honestly don’t know which thought to follow. I tried to focus on the city whizzing past my window, trying to focus on the lights instead of the whirlwind of thoughts that were circling my head.

We finally arrived outside my apartment building and I unbuckled my seatbelt. “Thank you.” I said quietly. “For listening to me and for bringing me home.” I said. Jin nodded, “No problem. Are you sure you’ll be okay?” he asked, that note of worry once again seeping into his voice. I turned to him and gave him the best smile I could manage, which, after the train wreck tonight has been, was not my best. “Yeah, I think I just need some time alone to think through some things.” I said. Jin nodded again in understanding. “I get it.” He said. “I’ll see you tomorrow if you're feeling up to it. Don’t push yourself too hard though. If you need a personal day… you have my number.” It was my turn to nod. “Thanks.” I grabbed my things and got out of the car. I turned back and gave him a brief wave. He waved back and mouthed ‘go in first’ to me through the window.

I made my way into my building and Jin only left once I was safely inside. I sighed as I waited for the elevator to take me to my floor. “Tonight is going to be a long night.”