The box was full of photographs. A lot of them had been taken with a polaroid camera. I recognised the faces  of the boys from the photograph I had seen in Jin’s living room when I had first arrived. “These are my friends.” He said as he handed me a few of the photographs. I held them like they were made of glass. I was terrified of damaging them in anyway because I could tell how much they meant to Jin. He handed me a few more before he finally spoke again.

“We all met when we were in middle school. Believe it or not, we were all quite rebellious.” He said with a faint chuckle. The corners of my mouth twitched up at the thought of Jin being rebellious. “I was the oldest out of us. I took care of them… well I tried to at least.” He said, any humour in his voice was gone, his eyes pained as he looked at one photograph in particular.

He took a shuddering breath as he handed me the photo. It was of Jin and one of the other boys. They had their arms casually slung over each other’s shoulders as they posed for the photo. “That’s Kim Taehyung.” I could tell by the tone of his voice that this photograph held a lot of meaning. I patiently waited until Jin was ready to tell me his story.

“When were younger, we were skipping school one day and Tae turned up with a black eye. We assumed that he’d maybe gotten into a fight at school or something again.” he said as he shook his head, as if it would help him rid himself of his memories. “It turns out his father had given it to him. He confessed to us that day that his father often beat him, as well as his sister another mother as well.” I suppressed the gasp that tried to make its way out of my mouth. “We tried to convince him to get out of there we all offered him to live with each of us, but he said he couldn’t leave without his sister and mother, and they were too scared to leave.”

His hands were clenched into fists by this point. I reached out and covered one of his hands with mine, hoping that it would give him at least a little comfort. He took a deep breath before he continued. “One day, we got a phone call from him. He said that he needed to meet up with us.” I saw tears beginning to form in Jin's eyes but he refused to wipe them away. “He had gone home and found his dad beating his sister and he flipped. His dad was an alcoholic so there were always bottles lying around their apartment. Tae picked up one of the bottles and he stabbed his father… He didn’t make it.”

I resisted the urge to speak. I figured that there was more to come to this story… and that it was only going to get worse. I squeezed his hands harder, and this time he squeezed back, as if this small connection between our hands would be able to keep him grounded as he continued with his story.

“He felt so guilty. Even though his father was a horrible person, he couldn’t cope with the fact that he had died because of his actions. We tried to convince him that it wasn’t his fault. The police had interviewed him after it and had decided not to press charges. They put it down as self-defence, that plus the fact that he was still a minor at the time. Plus they all knew what kind of man his father was.” More tears streamed down Jin’s face and I felt silent tears begin to slip down my own cheeks as well. “He couldn’t take it.” Jin said as he looked up, fighting back the tears that relentlessly ran down his cheeks. “He ended up committing suicide.” He said, his voice a broken whisper.

“I was so close him, he was more like a brother than a friend. I tried so hard to convince him that it wasn’t his fault for what happened, but he couldn’t hear me no matter what I said.” He said, his voice laced with guilt. The grip he had on my hand tightened. “I took his death so hard. I had managed to hold it together until his funeral. But seeing his coffin just broke me.”

“I had been dealing with other things as well. My father was putting a lot of pressure on me to take on the family business, but I had no interest in taking over his company. My father is a corrupt man that isn’t above using dirty methods to get what he wants, and I wanted nothing to do with it. My mother wasn’t any help, all she wanted was to have access to her credit card and she was happy. She didn’t care about the pressure my father was putting me under, and my father didn’t care that I was mourning the death of one of my brothers.”

“I lost it. I started acting out worse than before. I totalled my father’s brand new Bentley on purpose just because I could. I quit school all together. I drew into myself and got myself so lost that I couldn’t find a way out. I couldn’t understand why Taehyung had felt like he had to do what he did. In a way I actually felt betrayed. Stupid, isn’t it?” he said with a chuckle that held no warmth or humour in it. “That’s when my father made the decision to have me committed. He had some connections and got me locked up without the hassle or embarrassment of paperwork. He told everyone that I was studying abroad to get away from everything that had happened. Heaven help him if he were to admit what was actually happening. That his only son was desperately crying out for help.”

Jin wiped away some tears and turned to face me. “Despite my father’s ill intentions for locking me up, I met a good psychiatrist there. He helped me deal with everything that had happened. When I finally left there almost a year later, I was ready to change my life. I went back to school, I got my degree and I left my father’s clutches. I started working on my own to support myself, without his help or input. My way of showing him that I was capable of succeeding on my own.” He said, determination and pride slipping into his voice.

His gaze dropped down to the photograph of Taehyung which was resting on my lap. “Not a day goes by that I don’t miss Taehyung. But I know he wouldn’t want me to live in regret and not live my life. That’s why I’m trying. Everyday I’m trying to live my life to the fullest but there was always something missing. I thought it was the hole left behind by Taehyung, but I realised that it was something different.” He said as he took both of my hands into his. “What was it?” I asked, my voice a breathless whisper. “It was acceptance.” He said as he held my gaze. “The only people that I know that know and understand my past are the other boys in those photographs, anyone else that’s ever found out about my past has either shied away from it, pretending it never happened, or they’ve shut me out completely. But when I heard you and Wonsik, you actually defended me without hesitation. Even if your opinion of me changes now after hearing the full story, I’ll still be satisfied knowing that you cared enough about me to protect me like that.”

His grip tightened slightly over my hands. “And that’s it. That’s my story.” He said, his tone hesitant, as if afraid of what I would say or do next. I was at a loss for words. I couldn’t believe that Jin, my wonderful Jin, had suffered through so much. I felt more tears burn behind my eyes as I pulled my hands from his and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace. “Thank you.” I whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “Thank you for telling me your story.” I said as I pulled back, needing him to not only hear what I was saying, but to see the sincerity in my words.

“I know you said that people have treated you differently after they’ve found out about your past, but I am not one of those people. To me, nothing has changed. You’re still my Jin that likes stuffed animals and eating. You're still my Jin that can bring a smile to my face and still makes me feel like a teenager with a crush when you smile at me. This story is a part of what makes you, you, and you, Kim Seokjin, are wonderful and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.” I confessed.

“Nari…” Jin let out a chuckle, a genuine smile appearing on his face. “Thank you.” He said before he pulled me towards him, our lips meeting in an innocent kiss.

We spent the rest of the night together, Jin telling me more stories about him and his friends and their hijinks from their teenage years. I was surprised to learn that Jeon Jungkook, the famous boss that Jin was friends with was actually one of his friends from that time. Jungkook had come from a troubled background, but Jin had acted like a father to him and helped him onto the right track and now he was super successful. Jin was still in contact with the rest of his friends. Two of the boys, Namjoon and Yoongi owned a huge record label and the other two boys, Jimin and Hoseok, now ran a dance school together.

I lost track of how long we sat there, the sky was already beginning to lighten when we finally decided to sleep, Jin insisting that I stay with him as it was too late to go home. I snuggled in against his side, wearing one of his t-shirts which fit me like a dress, much to his amusement, as we finally settled in to sleep. Jin fell asleep quickly, obviously exhausted after such an emotional day. I stayed awake a little longer, enjoying being wrapped in his warm embrace.

I knew that in the morning things would be different. I now knew that there was a completely different side to Jin that I had only begun to scrape the surface of. But at the same time, nothing would change. If anything, our relationship will be stronger when we both woke up in the morning. Learning more about your partner is part of the course of being in a relationship. Sometimes you’ll find out things that make you laugh, like the fact that they have a Mario figurine collection, sometimes they make you cry, like finding out about a horrible time in their lives, but if it’s a true relationship that’s going to last, you take the good with the bad.

With that thought running through my mind, I finally fell asleep, my head resting against Jin’s shoulder to the sound of his steadily beating heart.