Does he even know I exist? I ask myself that question almost everyday of my life. He's there looking too good to be true and yes he's way too good for me, why on earth he'll get interested in someone like me, an outcast, A nobody?

All what took me to fall for him was his nice warm words of "Hello" when he entered and his simple "How are you today?" That they immediately end with "Fine"

Nothing special, nothing at all that happened between us and made me feel like this but I just do. It's his existence that's all.

I stare, Yes I do, all the time, He's nice and bubbly and way too gentle with others, I have no idea how he's like with other people, how he actually talks to his friends or family, I have no idea what makes him happy, sad or scared and I have no idea what he likes and dislikes. It's a one sided love that has no explanations what so ever. 

It's university life for me and it's not much different than high school, they all know that I got nothing in this world, they all know that they're not supposed to talk to me, but I just want to shout to the world that It's not my fault. It's not my fault that I was left out in that dark rainy night in front of somebody's door steps, It's not my fault that the owners of that door didn't want me, It's not my fault that the police decided to take me to that orphanage, It's not my fault that they put me for adoption and it's definitely not my fault that nobody wanted me ... or is it my fault? I guess I'll never know but for now, it's  definelty not my fault.

I guess that's how life wanted me to be "Unwanted" and that's how I lived, "Unwanted". Does he know? I can't even tell, He's nice to evreyone, he's even nice to me, he says "Hello" whenever he sees me close by and flashes a smile when our eyes meet. I guess that's all what took me to fall. But it's not enough, never was, never will be. It's just a very simple and normal interaction among people and I guess I never had that before and it's the reason why it feels so special to me.