ThErEs A mUrDeReR iN mY hOuSe!!!1!!!1

Rude Love (A Chanbaek Fanfic)

 

 

Baekhyun wakes up to My Copycat like always. He is excited for the day. As he picks up his phone, he sees four texts from Junmyeon, he opens his messages to see them.

 

Junmyeon: Forget your props, and i’ll stab you in the throat.

Junmyeon: We’re meeting at lunch in the chinese classroom, dont come and i’ll beat your .

Junmyeon: Ok, we are going third so be prepared. Forget your costume and i’ll literally decapitate you.

Junmyeon: Also you’re in charge of everyone else before the thing starts, surprisingly you are the most mature. Screw this up and you won’t live to see tomorrow :).

 

Baekhyun double checks that he has everything needed, so Junmyeon won’t kill him. He hurries getting dressed, and goes downstairs. He gulps down his breakfast as fast as possible. He can’t show up late for the third time this week. His calculus teacher already hates him enough. He checks the time while grabbing the big bag of props, costumes, and mismatched decorations. He felt nervous, but excited for his presentation. The script was good, for the level of speaking they were at.  Everyone felt the skit was good enough, and even Junmyeon approved. Being the overachiever he is, he needed to make everything perfect. The sets were done, the took all of thursday to make them, and now its was friday, time to perform their final product. He shovels more items into his bag and leaves his house. As he starts to walk to school, he notices how nervous he feels. His stomach starts turning as he walks in to the school. School starts in 2 minutes. He heads to his Calculus class, getting there right as the bell rings.

“Mr. Byun. I see you got here on time today. Barely . Take a seat.” The teacher says. Chanyeol has a seizure, telling Baekhyun to sit next to him. Baekhyun slips into the seat next to Chanyeol and listens to his teacher talk. The class seems to fly by.


 

Everyone goes through the usual boring routine at school and it finally reaches lunch. They all meet at the lunch tables as they wait for the rest of the group members to arrive.

“Your group project is today right?” Minseok asks.

“Yeah, i’m kind of nervous, but excited” Jongin says.

“Okay guys, i’m in charge for now while Junmyeon gets stuff together. Now, while I look around I see that everyone in our group is here except for Sehun.” Baekhyun sighs while shaking his head.

He sits down and three minutes pass. Everyone starts to get impatient while they all wait for Sehun.

“Okay, someone text Sehun where the hell he is before Junmyeon starts getting angry” Baekhyun says in a rushed voice. Jongdae nods his head and pulls out his phone, but before he can do that Sehun comes in running through the lunch door making everyone look at him. He runs up to the table clearly out of breath covered in...glitter glue.

“I’m here es! Sorry I was late, I was bedazzling my turtle.” Everyone looks at each other then at Sehun before bursting out laughing.

“I’m sorry, but what? Bedazzling your turtle?” Baekhyun says annoyed at Sehun.

“Yeah, wait do you guys think it was an actual turtle? No, it’s for an art project. It’s a clay turtle and I have to make it nice and colorful so i’m bedazzling it. Do you wanna see it after i’m finished?” Sehun asks everyone.

“Ooh, of course! I would love to see this bedazzled turtle of yours” Chanyeol says smiling.

“Okay, everyone just stop talking. Sehun is here now so we better hurry our asses up the classroom before Junmyeon gets worried” Baekhyun says. The five of them get up and start to head to the classroom while the rest of their friends give them thumbs up.

 

As they all walk in the classroom they spot Junmyeon. He looks at everyone while running over to them angrily.

“In 3, 2, 1” Kyungsoo mumbles.

“Why are you guys 40.2 seconds late?? I was wondering where you were! And why in the living hell is Sehun covered in glitter glue?!?” Junmyeon yells at them tapping his foot.

“I was bedazzling my turtle, don’t get your in a twist” Sehun says rolling his eyes.

“Ugh, whatever go and change. I already said this to Baekhyun but you guys don’t know this yet. We present third. After the second group presents we get three minutes to set up our props. You guys better be fast, and if we run out of time and not all the props are there, well you better start planning your funerals. So, after you guys change I want you to get these props. Jongin and Kyungsoo, you guys get the two chairs and table. Baekhyun and Chanyeol you get the cardboard dresser along with the cardboard television. Make sure that the tv is on the dresser. Me and Sehun will get the paintings and the mini rug. When we get our three minutes you guys are in charge of those props. Got it? Because i’m not repeating what I just said” Junmyeon explains.

 

The six of them go to the back of the class and pick out their props. They then watch the first group set up their props. Sehun starts admiring himself in his phone reflection.

“Hey.” He says elbowing Jongin. “Chanyeol and Baekhyun made some pretty attractive kids, huh?” Sehun jokes. Baekhyun and Chanyeol give each other a disgusted look.

“That’s anatomically impossible!” Baekhyun blubbers.

“But Chanyeol is a woman.” Jongin says. Chanyeol looks a tad angry.

“I am your mother. I brought you into this world, I can take you right back out!” Chanyeol hmphs. Baekhyun snickers. The group goes backstage after the second group starts, to change into their costumes. Junmyeon stands outside with the others, pacing back and forth.

“Sehun! Hurry Up!” He shouts.

“I’m having trouble fitting into this tiny dress!” Sehun walks out in his dress, which is super tight and constricting. Baekhyun starts laughing. “What did you two do?” Sehun yells at Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun thought it would fit.” Chanyeol says, laughing. Sehun glares at Baekhyun.

“Oh, is that so?” Sehun says. He takes off his wig and starts waving it at Baekhyun. Baekhyun yelps and falls on the floor. Sehun throws it on Baekhyun, who yells out once again.

“Wig flew!” Kyungsoo says. Sehun walks over to the traumatized Baekhyun and picks up his wig. He puts it back on when Junmyeon stares at him.

“Ok Dickwads, let’s put on a great performance. Do your best or i’ll slit your wrists in your sleep.”

“Why are you being so sassy today?” Chanyeol asks.

“We love a sassy queen.” Sehun says. Junmyeon rolls his eyes and flips off Sehun. The group starts

 

After the second group performs everyone starts to get their props. They run out one by one setting up the props fast, knowing the time limit. The group hears people laughing quietly from their peers upon seeing Sehun and Chanyeol in the wigs and dresses. After they finish setting up the props Chanyeol, Sehun, and Jongin appear on stage.

 

“Oh, is not today just a lovely day? I get to spend it with my two kids” Chanyeol says. Then Baekhyun comes on stage setting down a briefcase on the table.

“I’m home honey! Work was tiring as usual but it’s finally the weekend! Now I can spend the weekend with just us and the kids” Baekhyun says cringing at his words.

“You need to stop working so hard! Take a break for once.” Chanyeol says

“I would love to, so I can stay home and see your um beautiful face?” Baekhyun says stuttering.

“Oh, stop with the flirting, you’re making me gag” Sehun says making gag noises. Jongin hits Sehun with a rag saying “Stop being rude, learn some manners.” Sehun rolls his eyes while getting out his phone. Chanyeol and Baekhyun sit on the remaining two chairs while they pretend to eat food off their plates.

“Sehun, eat your vegetables. They are good for you! Did you know that it can make your eyes see better?” Chanyeol says to Sehun.

“That’s just a lie to make me eat my vegetables! I know your trickery” Sehun shouts.

“Sehun, don’t shout at your mother. All she is trying to do is remind you to eat so you can grow up big and strong like your brother” Baekhyun says.

“Oh, I see how it is. It’s always Jongin this and Jongin that. I know he eats his vegetables, but what if I just don’t like the way they taste like dad doesn’t like the way cucumbers taste. You guys are so annoying” Sehun says shouting. “Ugh i’m going to my room” Sehun walks off to the corner of the stage.

“it’s probably that time of the month again for her” Jongin giggles. Baekhyun slaps his wrist while rolling his eyes. The rest of them continue eating their dinner when they hear a shriek coming from Sehun.

“Was that Sehun?” Jongin asked

“It is probably just the wind” Chanyeol says back to him. They all nod their head agreeing with Chanyeol. Sehun then crawls from backstage.

“Ahh help me! I’ve been stabbed by someone!” Sehun says in pain.

“Sehun, stop disrupting us, we’re eating. Now you could join us but you decided to be stubborn and go upstairs” Baekhyun says to Jongin.

“Mom help, dad isn’t listening to me” Sehun shouts.

“Listen to your father, now come sit with us.”

“Oh my gosh, i’m literally bleeding out.” Sehun yells

“Stop being so dramatic” Jongin says while rolling his eyes.

“Now get up from off the ground, that is not lady like.” Chanyeol says.

“I can’t really do that, i’m dying and can’t get off the ground.”

“Sehun get up, you’re getting blood on my rug.” Baekhyun says to Sehun

“Oh my gosh! Sehun!! I should have asked you this before..” Jongin says to Sehun in a serious tone.

“What is it?” Sehun asks thinking Jongin will call 911.

“Before you die...can you take my plate to the kitchen?” Jongin asks smiling.

Sehun sighs then falls to the ground “dead”

“Did she just fall asleep on the ground?” Chanyeol asks.

“Yeah I think so, whatever leave her. “ Baekhyun says, continuing to eat.

“Well since Miss Princess™ couldn’t be a good sister and take my plate to the kitchen, I guess i’ll do it myself.” Jongin says, getting up and walking to the kitchen. Baekhyun and Chanyeol hear a shriek emit from their kitchen. Jongin comes out into the room, dripping in blood. He collapses on the floor. Chanyeol and Baekhyun rush over to him.

“Oh no! Jongin are you okay?” Baekhyun says, crouching over next to him.

“No! My favorite child! The one I expected to actually do things in life is dead!” Chanyeol dramatically cries out. Sehun rises from the dead.

“Ouch, This is some favoritism and male privilege if i've ever seen it.” Sehun gives a hurt look.

“Shoosh. You're dead. It’s my turn to die!” Jongin says.

“Oof. You right.” Sehun collapses again. Jongin dies. Chanyeol sheds a single tear.

 

All of a sudden a crash can be heard. Chanyeol and Baekhyun start to get tense as Chanyeol tells Baekhyun he would check out the noise. He walks backstage and starts to scream. He runs out as Kyungsoo with a black mask and clothes pops out. He ‘stabs’  while saying “stabbity stabbity” Chanyeol and pours fake blood on him and runs away. Baekhyun runs up to Chanyeol and kneels down to him.

“Oh my gosh, my beautiful wife is dead. Oh no, what shall I do without her!” Baekhyun pulls out a fake phone and calls 911.

“Help! ThErEs A mUrDeReR iN mY hOuSe!!!1!!!1” As Baekhyun is on the phone a few seconds later Junmyeon comes in.

“There seems to be a problem in this area. You called?” Junmyeon says to Baekhyun

“Yeah! There’s a murderer in my house. He killed my two kids and my wife.”

“Okay, don’t panic I will arrest this maniac! Now come out come out wherever you are.”

He starts circling around the set and puts caution tape for the crime scene. Then Kyungsoo appears. Junmyeon gets out his handcuffs while yelling “come with me, you’re under arrest for murder!” Kyungsoo snaps his fingers saying “aw man!” Junmyeon puts Kyungsoo in the handcuffs and walks away. Baekhyun goes with him to see this disgusting human being be thrown in jail. Just then Kyungsoo breaks free of his handcuffs and ‘stabs’ Baekhyun. He falls to the ground when Junmyeon and Kyungsoo high five.

“Good work partner!” Junmyeon says to Kyungsoo proud.

“Wow, I didn’t see that coming.” Baekhyun says.

“I thought you were supposed to be dead.” Kyungsoo says to Baekhyun.

Junmyeon takes the knife and ‘stabs’ Baekhyun once more.

“Now he’s dead” Kyungsoo says to Junmyeon.

“Let’s get out of here before the real cops arrive!” They giggle while skipping away.

 

Everyone stands up and bows to the class. The whole class is in shock of what they just witnessed but clapped. “Wow, very violent but creative? Good job, now go sit down and clean your stuff up.” Their teacher says.

 

While they clean up their set Junmyeon goes up to everyone and says “I’m surprised you ers pulled this off. I thought you were going to mess it up!”

“Well, it’s because we’re such pros.” Kyungsoo says.

“Whatever, i’m just glad you guys didn’t mess it up.”

 

They finish cleaning their set and go sit down with the rest of the class. A few more groups perform their skits. The bell rings and everyone gets out of class.

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun walk out of the room and all eyes are on them. A girl from the class under them comes up to them.

“Congratulations on your relationship.” Nayeon says. She gives them a huge smile and skips away happily. Baekhyun and Chanyeol turn to each other.

“Why are people thinking we are dating?” Baekhyun exclaims. Another girl comes up to them.

“What? You haven’t seen Sehun’s new Instagram post?” Luna says, showing them the post of them falling on top of each other.

“Oh no…” Baekhyun says.

 

Then another person, this time a boy a grade lower yell from across the hall but Chanyeol and Baekhyun can still see him “Baekhyun, I didn’t know you were a top!” “Shut up Taehyung.” Baekhyun yells back to him.

 

“Oh this is bad. This is very bad.” Baekhyun says pacing back and forth.

“It’s not so bad.” Chanyeol says.

“What do you mean? It’s terrible!”

“Wow. I didn’t know it was such a bad thing to date me.” Chanyeol says, looking hurt.

“I didn’t mean it like that. Gosh.”

“How are we going to fix this?” Chanyeol asks.

“Leave it all to me.” Baekhyun says. He walks away and dials a number.

 

“Hello?” The person says.

“Um hi… I have something I want to ask you.” Baekhyun says.

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Comments

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Loeysbacon
#1
Chapter 2: Goddammit kyungsoo keeps on saying "shut up Sehun no one cares about your opinion" good lord I'll die from laughing so much
Silverrose72 #2
Chapter 9: Okay this chapter was too funny !! Lmao!!
yeolwa #3
Chapter 9: Why ws sehun hate yeol so much... Poor yeollie.. Hahaha
-SatanSoo-
#4
Chapter 8: holy hell yas queen slaaay
-SatanSoo-
#5
chanyeol sounds like my grandma lol
Cup_baek
#6
Chapter 5: Update fast please this i am enjoying this so much
Cup_baek
#7
Chapter 3: This is really really funny
I am going kin minseok and all the turtkes named turtle seriously haha
Cup_baek
#8
Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Haha no one cares about your opinion sehun. This is so funny
Cup_baek
#9
Chapter 1: Our poor yeolli :(