2008, Winter

High School

          I make sure I folded the training clothes meticulously so no sight of browning red is visible on the white fabric, and carefully enter the class. I walk to my seat, and somehow the circle near the locker is still not dismissed, with Jaehyo still holding the torn parka in the center. My heart depletes to hear they’re still talking about the fallen thing. I silently grit my teeth and sit on my chair, facing the board.

          “—no, but is it really because of the wind? Someone might throw it out on purpose.”

          “Why would someone do that?”

          “I don’t know, maybe someone who holds a grudge towards Jaehyo? The person might think it was his.”

          “Who would it be?”

          “Hey, maybe it’s Min Seyi, weren’t you close to her recently? She might be jealous to see you asking Jangmi to prom.”

          “Her class was having a lesson though, it’s in the other end of this corridor.”

          “Or is it Bae Doyoon? He must be mad because you broke up with him, Jangmi.”

          “If it’s because of a girl’s jealousy, wasn’t Lee Yuna close with you too, Jaehyo?”

          I slowly turn my body on my seat, and my classmates are looking at me. Who said that? I put my best why-are-you-talking-about-me face. “What?”

          “I think I saw you with Jaehyo together a few times.”

          I see Jangmi looking at me, still holding onto the goddamn rose bouquet. She has this irritating, puckering expression on. “What? Really, Yuna? Did you—?”

          I furrow my brows, attempting to set a confused and wronged face. “It was just for… Tutoring.” I caught Jaehyo’s sight, and he avoids my gaze.

          “Hey, Yuna, what happened to your hand?” a guy asks loudly.

          “I—”

          “She hurt her hand while tidying up the auditorium after PE with me and some kids from the other classes.”

          My eyes navigate to the source of voice. Minseok just said that confidently, and now he looks at me for confirmation. What—how can he—?

          “Right?” Minseok asks.

          I blink, and nod. “Minseok went with me to the school nurse.”

          Someone whistles, and the others start murmuring. Behind me, Hyeyoung stands up from her seat and throws her pencil case to the table.

          “Watch what you’re implying! Why would a good kid like Yuna do such a childish act?” Hyeyoung yells. “The wind is nasty today, nature can do weird things. You guys were too busy talking about useless thing to not notice that a classmate got hurt, aigoo.” she adds, shaking her head.

          The kids get silent, and slowly move around to do other things. I feel like I can breathe now.

          I turn to see Minseok at his seat, but he either doesn’t notice or ignore me. I face forward again, and sigh.

Present

Bakery

          Minseok’s forehead wrinkles a bit. “You? Something wrong?”

          I look down. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it.

          “Is it… Perhaps…” Minseok’s big eyes wander. “That time… About Ahn Jaehyo…?”

          I stare at the floor, and hesitantly nod. I don’t expect Minseok to cheerfully laugh after.

          “Oh my, Yuna. It’s been so long ago.” his eyes sparkle. “High school was crazy, wasn’t it?”

          I’m a bit dazed with his response. “Y-yeah.”

          “Come on, it was literally ten years ago, no need to feel bad about that. We have our own stories from then.” his eyes half-close, feeling the nostalgia.

          I sip my tea, feeling much more relaxed. “Are you still in touch with Jaehyo?”

          “We talked last year but haven’t contacted each other again since. I thought he’d be at Jangmi’s wedding.”

          “Wouldn’t it be awkward? They were exes.”

          Minseok laughs. “Probably. They broke up not long after we got into university, right?”

          “Yeah.”

          “I wasn’t really following the news as I was in China that time.”

          “Oh, right. You went to school there. How was it?”

          “It was an interesting experience.” Minseok proceeds to tell some time of his years studying there. I listen to him intently, and notice the couple by the window leave. “…then I went back home, deciding I’d take my post-graduate study here.” he concludes his China story.

          “Whoa.” I comment.

          “Enough about me! How about you? You said you had quite a story until becoming a baker.”

          “Ah—that’s…” I awkwardly laugh. I don’t really like talking about myself. “No, don’t expect anything interesting. How about the kids? Is their class finished?” I divert the topic.

          Minseok checks his phone. “Wait.” he scrolls through his messages, and clicks his tongue a few times. “I think they won’t be able to make it tonight… Minhyung asks me for another time.”

          “Is that so? So you’re going home?” I try not to sound too eager.

          “I guess so.” Minseok finishes his drink, and notices my employee who is sweeping the floor. “Are you closing soon? Do you want to me to walk you home? I heard it’s close.”

          “What? No, no.” I raise my palms. “I, um… I need to finish these papers, then I can go.”

          “Alright then.” Minseok smiles, and gets up. “Oh, I should pay for the drink…”

          “What are you talking about, it’s on the house.”

          “Thank you! Yuna, I’ll get going. Talk to you later!”

          Minseok offers a handshake, and I take a full two seconds staring at his hand emptily before my brain can work. “Oh—yeah.” I take his hand. It’s warm, like before. I try to shake off that memory from a few days ago and smile.

          I take him to the door, and he gives me one last wave before he walks away. I close the store door quickly as the cold wind starts seeping in, and I go back to my working table.

          It went well, I think to myself. I was the one who made it feel awkward to myself. Minseok is easygoing and kind as always, even after years passed. I enjoyed our talk, too.

          My laptop screen’s brightness brings me back to reality, and I blink repeatedly. Let’s focus again.

2008, Winter

High School

          On the recess session before night classes, I’m going to the toilet alone to check on the wound. It’s still aching, but not as throbbing as this afternoon.

          I wash my left hand and let out a long sigh. As I wipe the uncovered parts of my right hand with wet tissue, the door opens and Han Jangmi appears in her pale pink coat. She looks at me smugly and stands beside me in front of the sink. She starts to wash her hands, and I mind my business.

          “Is your hand okay?” she asks.

          “Yeah.”

          “You must be so blue today.”

          “What?”

          “Are you disappointed Jaehyo didn’t ask you to prom?”

          I stop what I’m doing and look at her from the mirror. “What are you talking about? I’m not.”

          “You were close with him, right? You two went for dates, and he even went to your house.”

          “It was for tutoring, nothing else. He needed help in Math.” I speedily answer.

          “Weren’t you hoping for something else?”

          I put my most believable uninterested face. “I don’t care about that.”

          “Jaehyo asked another girl… And you hurt your hand… Not a lucky day for you.”

          Stay calm, Yuna. Stay cool and composed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll get going first, see you in class.”

          I walk past her, and hear Jangmi scoff. I form a fist with my left hand, and exit the bathroom.

Present

          I open my eyes, and realize I slept with one leg bent under another. I try to straighten them, and groan because of how sore they feel.

          I lie down without a word, and think about the dream I just had. I dreamed about meeting Han Jangmi in the toilet... Like that time after the incident. So random.

          I think about her wedding last weekend, and out of the blue wondered why I was invited. I was never close to her other than being a classmate. I even detested her at some point.

          I sit down, and shake my head. There’s no point in remembering petty things from ten years ago. I’m too old for that. I was invited because Jangmi invited the whole class, naturally.

          Later that day in the bakery, after putting a tray of croissant dough into the oven, I’m washing my hand when my phone vibrates. I manage to pick it up before it ends, and it’s from Hyeyoung. Her voice is almost overcome with a noisy background.

          “What’s up, Hyeyoung? Are you outside?”

          “Yuna! Are you free? Come join us at Gangnam.”

          “Are you not working? Who’s with you?”

          “It’s Sunday, silly! I’m with Jangmi and Yoojin. The new bride is bringing souvenirs from her honeymoon.”

          “Oh…” working like this means I don’t really differentiate weekdays and weekends. I’m surprised Jangmi is already back, it’s only been a week. Was one week enough to tour Europe? “I’m still baking though.”

          Hyeyoung groans. “Of course.”

          “Why don’t you guys come here? Jangmi and Yoojin has never been to my bakery.”

          “Ah, right.” Hyeyoung puts away the phone to ask the other two. Yoojin sounds excited, but I hear Jangmi cutting in.

          “Isn’t it far from here? I heard it’s cramped, can we sit comfortably? Does it have heater?”

          I lean on the refrigerator, with my free hand on the waist. I shouldn’t have offered. Hyeyoung is heard negating Jangmi’s words, and they proceed to have a heated discussion.

          “Um… Yuna.” Hyeyoung is back to the phone. “I’ll tell you later if we decide to come, our orders here haven’t been out yet.”

          “Sure. Just come whenever, I’m always here.” I keep my voice upbeat.

          “Alright. Bye!”

          I put my phone down, and straighten my back. Maybe that was why I dreamed about Han Jangmi. How could she say that though? She has never come here. She doesn’t know how pretty my place is. I huff and puff, walk to the oven to see the beautifully risen golden croissants and clear my head. Let’s keep cool.

*

          The next day, because of a heavy snowfall, I decide to close two hours sooner. I’ve armed myself with a large umbrella, but the wind is still ruthless. I arrive home with my eyes half-closed and moist, and see a figure sitting on the ground, leaning to my house gate. I stop on my tracks. Who is that?

          The gate shelter’s lamp isn’t on so I can’t see who that is. I think it’s a man, and he’s staying very still. What should I do? Should I just go back to the bakery? I’m scared...

          The man turns his head, noticing my presence. I feel like the snow is swallowing my feet as I’m holding onto the umbrella and bag tightly. He gets up, and I can’t move an inch.

          The man steps down from the gate, and under the street lights I realize it’s Minseok. His neck is wrapped in thick brown scarf, and he has his hands inside his coat pocket. His face lights up to see me. “Yuna!”

          My muscles tense down, and I drop my shopping bag to the snow as I breathe a sigh of relief. “Oh my God.”