-1-
Leaving home later than previous days, Sunghoon doesn’t see Jiwon anymore, but it should be like this, Sunghoon didn’t deliberately stay in front of the house to wait for Jiwon from the early morning so he also doesn’t expect Jiwon to wait for him. Last night he was so strain but he only slept within three hours, and Jiwon, Sunghoon doesn’t know what Jiwon thought of and if Jiwon felt difficult to sleep as him. Sunghoon thinks deeply few seconds then shakes his head to leave everything aside. He must try to make all matters become normal instead of huddling back into his ‘shell’, for situations like this, maybe choosing the way to face them will be better to unravel. Anyway, this morning Sunghoon was busy in the kitchen and made successfully a lunchbox for Jiwon. Formerly, he kept saying that he was angry with Jiwon so that he didn’t want to make it anymore. However, no matter what happened, he still needs to worry about Jiwon. Since the day Jiwon’s mom backed to the hometown, Jiwon has always called at the canteen to eat noodles.
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Hurriedly running towards Jiwon’s class at the break with his hand holding the lunchbox, Sunghoon smiles happily in expectation and says himself that Jiwon may surprise a lot because it has been a long time Sunghoon has let Jiwon eat and drink rather hard.
Jiwon is there.
- Hyung...
Haven’t yet called Jiwon’s name, Sunghoon is forced to stop when seeing a girl standing right at Jiwon’s side. She isn’t that noona? The person who refused Jiwon’s love?... It seems that two people still keep friend relationship? With his natural curiosity, Sunghoon can’t stop standing there and giving question to himself, but only the insiders can give the answer.
- I see you often go to school with a little boy, right?
Jiwon bursts out laughing and he doesn’t hesitate to nod his head, there is always a tail following him makes him little by little get accustomed to.
- He’s very cute.
- He lives on my house’s attic.
- Really?
- Yep. In this world, it’s difficult to find a child who knows caring of others so much like that. He appears that he doesn’t know caring of himself.
Jiwon knows Sunghoon’s love for him, he also understands somehow, but there were too few times that he thought about Sunghoon’s feelings, then he was regret but he didn’t dare to say apologize. Today when Sunghoon is talked about, Jiwon suddenly wants to ask himself: Sunghoon never leaves although he has suffered from lots of hurt, that has been also another kind of hurt? Until when has a child who always smiles brought with him many scars like this?
- You had better learn from him.
- Learning?
- Knowing to care of others, a person like this can make others, especially female, soft-hearted easily.
- So it turned out that I only lived for myself so I couldn’t make you soft-hearted?
- ... Nope, I only followed my true affection. I’m sorry Jiwon...
- I just ask for fun. Now we’re very comfortable to one another.
- So... did you have another subject?
- Maybe...
Feeling that someone is coming near, Jiwon stops all his troublous thoughts then startles when realizing that’s Sunghoon.
- What are you doing here?
- ... Give lunchbox to you.
Jiwon should have felt familiar but this time he is really confused. Haven’t yet said ‘thank you’, he sees Sunghoon has left.
- Follow him. I’ll back to my class.
- ...

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- Hey Kang Sunghoon.
Fumbling for a while that he finds out the person he needs to find at the crowded canteen, Jiwon is dog-tired. Sunghoon only looks up at Jiwon then lowers his head to look at his portion of cooked rice, he doesn’t say anything.
- What’s up? Say something.
Jiwon shows his dissatisfaction.
- Why didn’t you stay with her?
- It’s her asking me to follow you.
- ... Really?
Sunghoon bites his chopsticks into very small holes among the rice seeds piling full in the tray, Jiwon keeps sitting there and observing, a moment later, he can’t control himself to burst out laughing.
- Just kidding. Actually, it’s because I want to eat with you.
- You don’t need to console me.
- Console? I tell the truth. Moreover... if I leave you alone, you may leave again and blame me for not respecting you.
- ...
- Yesterday you were angry with me because I led a girl to home, right?
- I wasn’t angry.
Sunghoon still keeps his cold face. It’s difficult to grasp.
- I thought carefully and I was sure of it. I’m not silly like you.
- I was only sad a bit.
Jiwon realizes that he has just said a meaningless sentence, as if he really understood other people but the truth was that he didn’t. When Jiwon was in front of Sunghoon today, how strange did he act? Jiwon shyly opens the lunchbox and keeps silent during that period.
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Standing up and shutting down the lunchbox’s lid after having done eating, Jiwon looks haggard. He stands there and sees Sunghoon also has just finished his lunch but doesn’t know what to say next.
- Hey...
This time Sunghoon holds his head up to wait.
- I dunno why I like to see you jealous like this.
- I’m not jealous.
- Because in this world, at least there’s still a person ready to leave his feelings aside because of me.
Becoming woozy and seeing Jiwon go first, Sunghoon only knows to let his mind empty. For that question, he half understands and half not. He understands what Jiwon says but then he doesn’t understand why Jiwon can say like that. Jiwon both shows his tease and seriousness, Sunghoon cannot identify what Jiwon’s true feeling is. Jiwon seems to having a bit changes, but it’s so fast that Sunghoon is unable to realize that changes in time. This moment, Sunghoon is like really being sink into the complicated feeling which is mixed between annoyance and confusing, he needs someone to give a hand to him but then he is grieved when knowing that he must save himself.
- Hey Sunghoon.
- Jaejin hyung.
Is this destiny? Two people just met one another yesterday but today they have chance to meet again. It’s faster than Sunghoon’s expectation. Sunghoon is excited and points at the opposite chair to invite Jaejin to sit.
- Have you already eaten?
- Yep.
- Did you eat with Jiwon? I’ve just seen him.
Hearing Jaejin talk about Jiwon, Sunghoon’s heart is naturally heavy, it’s not because Sunghoon hates Jiwon... it only suddenly becomes like this, so there’s no reason. Maybe this period, no one talking about Jiwon will be better.
Jaejin sits in silence and observes Sunghoon for a while then unconsciously smiles. He thinks he has understood something. Surely the relationship between Sunghoon and Jiwon now is still meeting with some difficulties that cannot be solved. Jaejin is really curious to want to ask then he may find the way to help them, but finally he doesn’t want, because...
- Jaejin hyung, I have a problem that I want to express.
- What’s up boy?
Looking at the thoughtful face of the child sitting opposite which sometimes furrowed as if he was fighting in his mind very strongly if he should express that problem and where he should express from, Jaejin softly uses his eyes to comfort Sunghoon. He knows there are some difficulties that this may the first time Sunghoon has undergone, he should let Sunghoon feel comfortable to say out loud instead of unintentionally making Sunghoon under pressure.
- I wanna move to another boarding house.
- What?
Jaejin cannot be unsurprised.
- I thought about it few days ago. I... it’s really difficult to face Jiwon many more times. Hyung, I can’t understand him more and more, from the way he treats me that sometimes he’s sweet and sometimes he hurts me. I can’t stand more.
- Is it because your inner love too much that makes your emotion become negative?
Sunghoon rounds his eyes in surprising then replies:
- I’ve never told you about my love matter.
- But I know. Since the first days, I’ve known it.
- Jiwon hyung told you?
The act of immediate shaking head from Jaejin makes Sunghoon confused more.
- I said I was a person always following you.
Witnessing Sunghoon’s face that cannot be more helpless, Jaejin quickly brings the conversation back to the main topic. He spins the melted ice glass on the table, looks attentively at some drops of colorless water stagnating on the glass surface are running, then takes the last breath. He raises voice:
- Think carefully. If you really wanna go, I’ll help you.
- You help me?
Sunghoon leans on the chair, his mind is still doubting about that straight suggestion. But Jaejin is right, Sunghoon needs to think carefully before making decision, because it’s obvious that cleaning up a mass of stuff is not easy, and the more important thing is that how Sunghoon can face Jiwon afterwards. However, even at present when Sunghoon is very close to Jiwon, he can’t also do it. Jiwon’s nature until when has become difficult to understand.
- Tonight I’ll contact you. You give me your phone number please.
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-2-
"Do you really wanna go? Without me, did Jiwon bully you?"
- No, he doesn’t. Jiwon hyung is not a person like this. Actually... there’re some problems belonging to myself.
"So... do you need me to call Jiwon and ask him to help you?"
- Aunt, before I go, could you not talk anything to Jiwon?
Beyond the phone starts with silence, next is a sigh and it ends with an agreement hidden somewhere regret, just a bit. Although the time Sunghoon contact Jiwon’s mom is not much because she mainly works outside, after that she must stop working and back to the hometown hurriedly to worry from this issue to other ones, but Sunghoon really considers her as his second mom. She’s very happy, enthusiatic and also takes care of Sunghoon very thoughtfully although Sunghoon is just a boarder. Thinking of Jiwon’s mom then leaving here, Sunghoon doesn’t have the heart, but he thinks he has thought carefully.
Pulling the old suitcase lying under the bed that has been full of dust, Sunghoon hurriedly wipes it then collects all clothes in the wardrobe, both the clothes hung up on hook and what arranged orderly at the bottom. Lifting them up and down, he startles when there are so many clothes than his expectation. Jewelry, all other tools that Sunghoon brought to here, he also puts them in a small drawer in the suitcase in case of he will be too hurry tomorrow so he cannot check everything carefully. Thinking like that, Sunghoon sits strongly on bed then becomes woozy and asks himself that why he has to be hurried when he absolutely has time tomorrow as he’ll not go to school to focus on this affair. Does he really want to run away from Jiwon? A moment ago, Jaejin phoned Sunghoon and said that he found out a new boarding room for Sunghoon, it was near school and also not too far from the boulevard with a large yard for exercising and playing comfortably. It seems to be fun, why Sunghoon keeps worrying?
Finishing his cleaning, Sunghoon lies down on bed then opens the inbox of him and Jiwon. The last message was only one day ago: “Good night hyung”. That message is always repeated every night and it always holds full of love that Sunghoon wants to give to Jiwon; and the last time of Jiwon was 12 weeks ago when he couldn’t stop sending message to Sunghoon to ask why Sunghoon was angry with him. Sunghoon bursts out laughing but a tear has shed to his corner of eye. He has remembered that moment. That day when having just come home, he was so sicked that he couldn’t hold the phone to see the notification. Really... time has passed too fast, if he keeps going slowly, he’ll be late.
"Goodnight Jiwon hyung. This’ll be the last message I send to you. I..."
Quickly deleting the words behind and only leaves out ‘good night’, Sunghoon turns his body and takes the last breath. His mood at this moment is so heavy and nothing can help him better. The message has been sent. Although Jiwon receives the message, he will not feel strange because after all that is only Sunghoon’s routine. Sunghoon raises the trembling finger and touches his lips that make the kiss yesterday with its sweet taste suddenly appear and occupy a part of his mind. Maybe leaving this place will be a way to reduce that feeling?
"Right in the tomorrow morning you will move to the new place?”
Jaejin is always whole-hearted like this that makes Sunghoon very moved and fired.
- Yep. After Jiwon hyung goes to school, I’ll move to there at once.
"You... have you thought carefully 100% Sunghoon? Will Jiwon not get angry?"
- Why does he have to get angry when he can cut this annoying tail completely?
Jaejin doesn’t reply, it was supposedly to be the answer that he understood Sunghoon’s mean, and now he doesn’t need to worry about Jiwon’s attitude anymore. Sunghoon says one more statement to relieve Jaejin’s mind then laughs naughtily and says:
- I may have to ask you to help when I move to the new place.
"I also live near there. It only takes me 10 minutes to walk. I’ll often drop in on you and play with you."
At first, Jaejin even intended to let Sunghoon come to his house and live with him but Sunghoon shaked head and refused. Sunghoon said that he wanted to be independent, so Jaejin just found for him an affordable place that was near school so that he didn’t need to rely on anyone. Hearing that, Jaejin resigned himself to accepting. An innocent child of few months ago has been little by little mature like this, that’s so difficult to predict. Turning off the phone, Jaejin pulls the chair towards the window, lets his body forwards slightly and sees the street at night. The geographical location of this place is not bad, but if Sunghoon doesn’t want to come, Jaejin must continue to stay here and observe the night view alone.
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-3-
Walking along the corridor, Jiwon suddenly feels that his heart is like having something exploding strangely and it’s unusual, but what is it? There’s only God certainly who knows. This morning, Jiwon left home rather late so he didn’t see Sunghoon, he thought Sunghoon went to school from the early morning but he was unexpected that today Sunghoon didn’t come to class, even if Sunghoon didn’t reply his SNS. Jiwon’s mind was only relieved when his mom said that Sunghoon was still alright and just called her to ask after her health yesterday. Jiwon doesn’t know until when does he care about that child like this. He doesn’t say out loud because he likes using the actions, but it is supposedly that he even doesn’t have chance to express them. Or is it because Jiwon keeps showing his indifference? Eun Jiwon, he seems to be still afraid, he is scared of being swept into a new relationship, and being betrayed. Therefore, Sunghoon and Jiwon has been far away from each other by some way that he completely doesn’t know.
- Eun Jiwon. Eun Jiwon.
Hearing voice of a friend rather close to Jiwon in class calls his name in urgency as if he was run after by ghost, Jiwon’s heart abruptly beats strongly but he doesn’t know the reason.
- What’s up?
The question is asked hurriedly by Jiwon.
- A moment ago when I backed to home to take the notebook and passed by your house, I saw that child move out. What happened?
- Move out?!
- What the hell with that attitude?
- Where did he move to?
Jiwon’s head immediately rotates, his ears have a ringing that he can’t grasp any affair around anymore. He grinds his teeth tightly, the hands tremble and hurriedly push his friend fall over aside then he runs like going crazy towards the park.
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- Mom, pick up the phone please.
Jiwon calls continuously for his mom but no one answers, his heart is burning hot as if it was burned by fire. He continues to press the shortcut key then calls all the time and all the way to such an extent that beyond the phone is about to ‘burning’.
- Mom! Why didn’t you tell me Sunghoon wanted to move out?
"He asked me that before he left, I didn’t say anything to you."
- But I’m your son.
"What happened with two of you? I’m so headache now that I want to die."
- I dunno anything. Do you know where Sunghoon will go?
"How can I know? Jaejin helped Sunghoon."
- Lee Jaejin?
Hastily hang up on his mom, Jiwon runs his eyes towards the gate right near the bodyguard’s bolt. The school closed its gate, with this situation, the only way is climbing up the wall and running fast to back home by foot.
- Stop it. You’ll be unable to catch up.
A familiar sweet voice echoes right behind Jiwon that makes him stop. That’s no one but Jaejin. That’s Jaejin.
Having witnessed Jiwon can’t stop being frightened out of his wits, Jaejin could only glower his eyes because he felt surprised, then he continued to keep a far distance to observe. He must wonder himself how Jiwon’s affection to Sunghoon really was. However, finally he couldn’t stand still anymore, Jaejin resigned to appearing to grab at Jiwon because even if Jiwon could play hooky to return home, Sunghoon was no longer there. This morning, Jaejin asked permission to be absent from class for two first lessons to help Sunghoon move to new place. Now looking at the way Jiwon expresses, Jaejin is more and more confused, but maybe... letting Sunghoon go is still better.
- I heard my mom told that you helped Sunghoon move out.
Jiwon slightly knits his brows and looks straight at Jaejin’s eyes that have no move.
- Yes. He talked to me about moving out and I helped him.
- Who asks you...
- Jiwon, it was Sunghoon’s decision. You must respect him.
- You don’t have to care about this affair. Where did Sunghoon move to?
- I dunno.
- You...
Maybe since the fisrt time Jaejin was bullied by some classmates ten years ago, Jiwon has never been angry in front of Jaejin like this time. But is it worthy of pouring all that craziness on Jaejin when the person who decides to go is Sunghoon? And then why does everything become like this only because of a child? Jiwon even didn’t want to take notice of Sunghoon.
Jaejin slowly puts his hands on Jiwon’s trembling shoulders. Jiwon is like standing under a frosty winter that can freeze all his soul. Jaejin doesn’t know saying anything to set Jiwon at rest because he himself didn’t think of this situation.
"Why does he have to get angry when he can cut this annoying tail completely?"
It is supposedly that there were some things that Sunghoon couldn’t see because it was hidden very deeply by Jiwon.
- Do you have affection to Sunghoon?
Jiwon moves Jaejin’s hand from his shoulder and replies briefly:
- No.
- … If not, let Sunghoon go. He’s trying to run away but you still want to raise difficulties? That period when he lived near you, how much was Sunghoon tired? He was so tired that he didn’t know what he needed from you.
- Why do you say such statements?
- To let you know that how much your living way unintentionally hurted a person who loved you sincerely. Eun Jiwon, don’t find Sunghoon and create difficulties for him anymore.
- I told you that’s not your business!
Jaejin is as quick as a bolt and holds Jiwon’s hand which is dealing him then says with calm:
- You’re only the person that doesn’t have qualifies to meddle.
- ...
- I must protect Sunghoon. I like him.
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-4-
Sitting silent at the corner, all stuff has been arranged orderly so now he has nothing to do, Sunghoon falls in the boredom again. He bents his legs and covers himself in his own little world, the eyes slightly close then he tries to remember the previous days and months. Why that day he could be brave to say that he liked Jiwon but now he can’t brave enough to make Jiwon moved anymore?
"Kang Sunghoon, what is your true self?"
Looking at the clock and seeing that it is over the midday but his stomach doesn’t have mood to eat or drink, Sunghoon lies down and pulls the blanket to cover his body. Just sleep. Sleeping a bit then he can feel better.
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The noisy alarm clock rings waking Sunghoon up. Pulling the blanket down and running his eyes to look around, Sunghoon still feels unbelievable when now he has been at another place that is completely strange as if he started again a new life. His foots wriggle to exersise then put on the floor and take a long step towards the door where Sunghoon can welcome the glow sunset lighting up all the corners of this long quiet corridor. Maybe there is a destiny between him and attics, when this small boarding room is also lied at the top, and he must moves rather many steps to step on the bendy iron rungs of ladder. Stretching his arms out and turning his body around, Sunghoon obviously realizes that his mood has been better somehow. Tonight Jaejin will come and lead Sunghoon to downtown and take a walk, by the way Jaejin will show Sunghoon some streets around here that is still rather new to Sunghoon. Have it helped Sunghoon satisfied enough?
- Sunghoon.
He’s come, that’s too early. Smiling and waving hand to greet Jaejin, Sunghoon finds out Jaejin’s corner of lip having a graze that still sweats blood.
- Jaejin hyung, your lip...
Not letting Jaejin reply, Sunghoon draws Jaejin towards his room. Anyway, Sunghoon must take care of Jaejin’s injury first.
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Sunghoon attentively forages the antiseptic and cotton wool in the medical cabinet then quickly runs towards Jaejin and sits straightly in front of Jaejin’s sight.
- What’s the matter with you?
Sunghoon raises his voice to ask for the problem. Seeing Jaejin’s face furrowed when his injury is touched, Sunghoon is extremely worried.
- There’s a person hit me.
- Who hit you?
Sunghoon springs up, his voice is trenchant:
- Let me revenge for you.
Hearing that, Jaejin immediately bursts out laughing then says:
- He’s Eun Jiwon.
- Jiwon...hyung?
Jaejin s a long line slightly across Sunghoon’s cheek, then nods his head to reply. Seeing Sunghoon become dismayed clearly when he hears Jaejin talk about Jiwon, Jaejin isn’t really happy but he is still determined to say, because he only cannot hide that truth from Sunghoon.
- Everything was alright.
Jaejin smiles and pinches Sunghoon’s cheek that make Sunghoon grimace and shout out loud, Jaejin’s soul is lighter in an instant.
- You musn’t be sad anymore. I’ll be here to be your hold.
"You cannot be sad all the time because of a person. I’m here to share with you. Don’t hesitate to say with me."
In front of the itensity of missing Jiwon is about to overflowing from the depth of heart, Sunghoon tries to get rid of all Jiwon’s images aside. He purses his lips, then raises his hands to squeeze Jaejin’s hand and asks in whisper:
- Did you and Jiwon hyung fall out with each other?
- We’re naturally quarrelsome.
- Or… because you helped me move out but you didn’t tell Jiwon?
- Why do you think that?
- I’m sorry.
- Hoon a.
Jaejin hurriedly rubs the head of the child opposite, shakes his hands which are holding the whole Jaejin’s hand then continues to say seriously:
- As long as he doesn’t make you hurt.
- He doesn’t mean to.
- Prepare yourself. Let’s go out for dinner.
Looking at Sunghoon’s figure tidy up the stuff in a flash then run towards the wardrobe like a little squirrel, Jaejin’s mind is briefly agitated. Did it turn out that this was the feeling of loving someone? It is when we always want to see our subject happy, smile and willingly to share with us both happiness and sadness in his or her life; and us, we are always ready to be a shoulder to let our subject lean on, to be a radio VJ using all our soul to hear he or she say out loud all tiredness that we don’t require to be paid anything back. But if someday our subject goes to someone’s direction not our’s, will we easily go on? It is hard to answer about love, right? Jaejin leans his body on the wall, he can’t take his eyes off a nearby frame put on the table. Sunghoon seems not to change compared with himself of the childhood, Jaejin only hopes that Sunghoon’s pure nature will not lose because of the fast pace of this society, and Sunghoon will not also shut down his soul when some challenges happen suddenly in life.
- Let’s go.
Finally everything has done, Sunghoon stuffs money into his wallet then puts it into his pocket. He is merry and walks towards Jaejin’s position.
- It turns to the night so fast.
Jaejin suddenly drops a vague statement.
- So... shall we go? - Sunghoon looks at Jaejin by his hesitating eyes.
- Of course.
Jaejin holds Sunghoon’s hand and leads him. Two people slowly dissolves themself in the crowded stream of people.