CHAP 10

The Boy On The Attic

-1-
Those days have passed faster than his expectation, the wheel of time still spins that doesn’t wait for anyone, and the life outside still seems to be busy as a daily race just in order to finish everything before the night comes. Jiwon also doesn’t remember clearly that he has started being busy with exercises and topics for examination since when, because this is the last year before his graduation and there will be a very important exam deciding all his studying life. Every week, Jiwon calls at Sunghoon’s room and sleeps there until the next morning, but he says with his parents that he comes to Suwon’s house to do a group work all the time. It is not easy for Jiwon to be in open expression about the love matter between him and Sunghoon with his family because it doesn’t follow the nature, and it’s still discriminated and accused at a certain corner of the society. Supposing that Jiwon’s parents could nod their head for agreement and let him by Sunghoon’s side, the observation from the society can make them afraid, especially when his Dad is an employer with his big company. Jiwon understands, and Sunghoon does so, so two people decided to keep silent like that. Sunghoon is really a good kid. He is sympathized for Jiwon, from the fact that Jiwon cannot declare their love to people around them to the problem that these days, Jiwon always brings with him books and notebooks everytime he comes to Sunghoon’s house, of course, it’s not used for camouflage. Happiness is only like this.
Letting Sunghoon sit in his arm embrace, Jiwon is still studying some important exercises which is printed on glossy pages attentively.
- Have you done yet?

Having sit still for a while to wait for Jiwon who is focusing on the bigger affair, but if Sunghoon keeps doing that, he will feel very bored. He lifts his brows and looks at every number that is like spinning in front of his eyes, then becomes woozy because he doesn’t know what he is watching.
- Just a bit later.
Hearing that, Sunghoon hums and haw then nods heads. He knows Jiwon is really busy now with all sorts of stuff and sometimes Jiwon even makes himself under pressure because of many expectations from other closed people. Jiwon is a good student and a hope for the national generation in the future, unlike Sunghoon. Being mooning for a while, Sunghoon thinks that he may not wait for Jiwon anymore. He has half-closed eyes then hurriedly raises hand to rub them, control himself to be more patient. That he could find somewhere a cup of coffee now...
- I’ve done.
Jiwon puts the thick book down on the bed, sighs with relief and then realizes that there’s no sound after his loud and dignified announcement. The quiet atmosphere mixing with the night outside covers the world in the small room, Jiwon suddenly feels quite stuffied. Keeping his head down, Jiwon is briefly startled when seeing Sunghoon leaned on his chest and fell asleep since when. Once again, Jiwon doesn’t have time to share with Sunghoon about the happiness and sadness at school in one day like what Sunghoon used to expect, that makes Jiwon continue to torment himself and feel guilty. Spreading his arms to hug Sunghoon more tightly, Jiwon smiles and sings under his breath a song which is turning on from the amplified loudspeaker at a store in somewhere outside. He looks at the child breathing slightly and sleeping well and his heart suddenly is calm strangely.
- You’ll get tired if you sit like this.
Slightly holding Sunghoon on his arms and letting Sunghoon lie down on bed, then carefully covering the kid with the blanket, these things have slowly become Jiwon’s routine. Sometimes, Sunghoon still falls asleep when he is sitting in Jiwon’s arms like this, because he also needs to take rest after a day he studied hard, he cannot try to wait for Jiwon all the way when he doesn’t know what time Jiwon will finish the work. Jiwon slowly lies down and tries not to make sound. He shares Sunghoon’s blanket with himself, moves his body towards Sunghoon closer, then closes his eyes with calmness. He’s absorbed in the sleep little by little. A weekend’s night is over.

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-2-
Suddenly hearing someone knock the door when he’s still in the dream with images about an imaginary story which is still appearing clearly in his mind, Jiwon turns his body and looks up at the closed window but he can realize that the first sun rays of the day have come. It turned out that Jiwon slept very well last night, maybe because he was so tired. Jiwon sits up after hearing the sound of knocking door clearer, raises his shoulders and walks towards someone who is patiently waiting behind that door. However, he cannot stop thinking that who is possible to come here from the early morning like this. His palms touch the door’s handle is immediately stopped by a thought, Jiwon’s mind recalls a familiar figure.
That’s him exactly, Lee Jaejin. Jiwon slowly steps towards Jaejin who is looking at the opposite side like welcoming the sunrise of a new day and letting it absorb deeply in every skin layer and fibre in his body, and then he can see his soul become lighter and calmer right at the first moment after a night he tossed and turned in bed. Jiwon keeps standing there and looking at Jaejin like feasting his eyes on a guy who has an artist’s soul with something light, flowing and gentle.
- Eun Jiwon?
Jaejin is much surprised when seeing the person at his sight. Jiwon doesn’t want to ask, because right at the moment Jaejin opened his eyes widely and called Jiwon’s name, Jiwon knew what happened. Here is Sunghoon’s dwelling.

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- So you come here every weekend?
- Not meet him, I don’t feel secure.
Jaejin smiles when hearing the information from Jiwon. Actually, it’s good to be like that. Letting Jiwon take care of Sunghoon although sometimes Jiwon is awkward, Jaejin still feels more secure than letting Sunghoon struggle with everything alone. Jaejin slightly inclines his head and thinks few more seconds. He spreads his palm to let every early sun ray go through the space between fingers, then observes it attentively with his excitement. Anyway, he doesn’t have many hours to welcome the sun in this homeland anymore. Thinking to here, Jaejin sighs then raises his voice:
- Few days ago, I met Suwon accidentally. I asked him about you and Sunghoon, then I knew Sunghoon had accepted you since the day of the music festival. That day, I couldn’t attend it because there was a call from Australian school that invited me to enter there.
- Enter that school?
This news is so unexpected, Jiwon believes that he cannot manage it.
- I was admitted into a school there.
Realizing that his friend is still in silence, Jaejin prolongs the story himself:
- At first, I believed that I wasn’t admitted, so I declared my love with him. And now, after a second thought I think… if he agreed, would I torment myself a lot?
- Don’t mention it anymore.
- Are you uncomfortable?
- Jaejin, it’s not I mean.

The explanation from Jiwon which was about to saying out loud awkwardly was stopped by Jaejin in time. Jiwon only tries not to let Jaejin thinks that he is a bad and selfish guy in that situation, but he has never felt easy to express his thoughts verbally.
- I’ll go to the airport few hours later. I’ll settle in Australia. Will you come to the airport?
Maybe Jiwon should not remind what passed because he will only make this parting moment become stuffy.
- Yep. I and Sunghoon’ll come.
- No. Don’t call for Sunghoon. Having told him that two people would create a band afterwards, now I must give it up.
- ...
- I’ve to go. Two of you must be happy together, okay?

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Telling lie Sunghoon that he must come back home soon, Jiwon has felt uneasy to up now. However, he is also surprised because Sunghoon just calmly asked him to back home carefully, it’s completely not a harassing gesture of a kitten that happened at the quite recent weekend. Walking towards the check-in area, Jiwon waits for Jaejin to complete his procedure at the desk over there. The hand is still rolling an old photo, his soul suddenly rolls up like a wave with thousand mass of complicated and unknown feelings. Facing the parting time, Jiwon doesn’t think he’ll be fragile like this when a tear always waits for a moment to sponge down. No matter what he thinks, this is only ‘goodbye’, why is he annoyed so much?
Turning his head aside, Jiwon sees Jaejin coming, then smiles to hide the disorderliness of his inner feelings.
- Has everything done?
- Just look at you.
Jaejin bursts out laughing when he realizes Jiwon’s bridge of the nose blusing, suddenly he just wants to cancel everything, or it’s more dreaming that he can make time stop passing so that he can stay here longer. Having never stopped saying with himself that he would not make consessions to Jiwon in that love matter, Jaejin didn’t understand soon that their friendship also needed to put in order and take care of a lot. Until the end, he is not wrong when he is intolerant to follow the person he loves, but doing something beyond the limitation can also harm another aspect or another relationship. Taking a last breath to get rid of all anxiousness, Jaejin keeps his eyes up and follows Jiwon’s arm which is moving. The old photo of two soul mates that day makes Jaejin abruptly burst out crying although he still smiles.
- Keep it.
Jiwon becomes woozy and he doesn’t know what to do next when an encouragement now is still too hard for him.
- Be sure to back here soon. You say you settle there, it doesn’t mean you’ll stay there forever.
- I know it.
The announcement from the loudspeaker about time of the flight to Australia echoes is also the moment two people know that they cannot stand here long like they expect. Jaejin stores the photo in his pocket right at his heart which is still disturbing and arrhythmic, slaps his palm on that position to replace for the last statement he wants to say, then pulls his suitcase to leave.
- Jaejin hyung.

Suddenly hearing the familiar voice of Sunghoon echo by his ear, the Jaejin’s whole body is frost-bited as if it was freezed, his mind also starts wondering continuously why Jiwon still dares to say with Sunghoon about this thing. Finding the way to hide his shyness behind that perfectly calm appearance, Jaejin turns around and steps towards Sunghoon quickly that he cannot see Jiwon’s face now like of a person who has just fallen down from the sky.
- Why do you come here?
- Why do you conceal this from me?

Sunghoon knits brows and hits Jaejin strongly that makes Jaejin surprised briefly. Is Sunghoon angry?
- Jiwon...
- He didn’t tell anything to me, even telling lie.
Sunghoon heard all the conversation between Jiwon and Jaejin this morning, he more remembered that Jaejin asked Jiwon not to let him come here, but he’s unexpected that Jiwon really decided to conceal it. Sunghoon doesn’t want to hide his true feelings now that he’s very downhearted and angry, but more than all, it’s the sadness and the pangs of parting keeping going around and tieing every corner in his mind. Anyway, two people are still friends, but as long as Jaejin wants to go then he’ll go simply like this?
Sunghoon stands speechless and looks at Jaejin’s hand slightly gliding his hair. Jaejin says nothing. Realizing Jaejin’s eyes are still dewed with tears,
 Sunghoon's heart is calmer.
- You must study well here. And, if Jiwon bullies you, just call me. When I back here, I’ll judge him at once.
- You can still say it now?
- Because Jiwon must love you including my part.

Waving hand to say goodbye that makes Sunghoon struck dumb when he couldn’t reply anything, Jaejin flats turn to the gate leading to the noisy plane parking and leaves behind overcrowded stream of people on the land where has brought his emotion up nearly 18 years.

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- Tonight I’ll spend time for you.
- You still have lots of homework, Jiwon ah.
Jiwon prevents Sunghoon from taking the notebook on the table. If Jiwon must see more any number in that notebook, he thinks he will be going crazy. There are some days that Jiwon only wants to take rest, and the best day should be the night of today. Jiwon has seemed to abandoning this child of him for a long time, so he wants to make up more. Slowly putting his lips on Sunghoon’s hair tangled when the child has just lied and been naughty on the bed, Jiwon sees all tiredness in his mind dissappear.
- I told you I’d spend time for you.
Jiwon lets Sunghoon sit on his arms then embraces Sunghoon like a routine that has started since a certain weekend not long ago. He glances at his kid’s calm face. It likes wanting to say that Sunghoon needs to express his confidence now.
- If you have something to express, tell me.
Jiwon raises his voice softly.
- Why did Jaejin hyung leave like that? Was staying here not good?
It turned out to be Jaejin’s matter. Jiwon tries not to sigh because that’s also what he’s concerned this morning. The fact that Jaejin studies abroad has been his family’s intention for a long time, but the reason why Jaejin agreed to join in the competitive examination and then decided to enter that school, maybe only Jaejin knew. Jaejin appeared to considering very much. Thinking that, Jiwon just says that he really doesn’t know.

- Didn’t Jaejin hyung tell you?
- Are you worried a lot?
Hearing Jiwon’s question, Sunghoon only shakes his head then says nothing. What happened was too unexpected when there’s no previous information, until now, Sunghoon still half believes as if he was in a dream. Jaejin goes like that, when will two people meet again?
And Jiwon, he doesn’t want to show that he’s rather jealous. This morning when Sunghoon suddenly came to see Jaejin out, he thinks that he couldn’t hide his impatience but he dominated it too well.

- He’ll live well. Sometimes two of you can call to ask for each other’s health… but don’t call too many times.
Hearing to here, Sunghoon is immediately surprised then he questions Jiwon:
- Why?
- Nothing.
- ... Are you jealous? Lover and best friend are different.
Looking attentively at Sunghoon’s exciting face, Jiwon resigns himself to taking off his serious appearance and bursts out laughing.

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-3-
The next morning...
Walking into the class and seeing the adjacent seat empty, Jiwon can’t hide his surprising. Everyday, it’s Jang Suwon who always sit there like being sticked by glue before Jiwon comes, but today Suwon suddenly disappears without trace and his bag or books even are not here. Never mind, Jiwon shakes his head to ignore the problem then sits down.
Inclining his head to look at the class’s door, Jiwon smiles when he remembers old moments. Sunghoon seemed to looking Jiwon steathily and always behind that painted door, if he realized Jiwon not care, he would leave and then repeat those actions in the next day. Jiwon has never forgotton his feelings at that time, actually he wasn’t move at all when he just thought simply that Sunghoon would decide to give up someday. But now how’s it going on? Eun Jiwon who was always cold and bored was the only person giving up because of the sincerity and patience from that kid.
Prancing over the windows then opening them widely, Jiwon looks at fresh and green leaves under warm sun rays. This land is still ‘embraced’ by the spring, so rain often comes abruptly. Thinking of raining, Jiwon is startled when he realizes that he didn’t bring the umbrella with him, then can only sigh with tiredness. Suddenly hearing the sound of stamping feet in rage right by his side, Jiwon ‘wakes up’.
- What’s happened?
Jiwon panics when seeing Suwon’s cheek black and blue.
- There’ve been nothing.

Witnessing Suwon depressed obviously, Jiwon is more annoyed. He often doesn’t care about what others do or think of if they don’t want to say. However, Jiwon understands this friend’s characteristic. He just needs to question closely a bit and then he can hear from the start to the end of the problem. By the way, Suwon is mournful like this, why can Jiwon ignore?
- Being your friend for many years but you still want to hide it from me.
- I...
Suwon knits his ten fingers tightly then rubs his palms all the time, he half wants to say half not.
- Ok, I’ll go out.
- Wait. Jiwon ah.
If he doesn’t express all annoyance from his heart, is it possible to put up with it alone? Suwon shows his furrowed face, raises his hand to draw Jiwon down on the seat then whispers:
- I just tried to protect a person.
- Protect whom?
- Him... That tongue made others misunderstand, but he had no malice, but he was still beseiged.
- Who’s that?
Jiwon hasn’t yet understood what happened.
- You... do you know the person who speaks in Busan voice often goes with Sunghoon?
Hearing from there, Jiwon only begins to understand. He suddenly can’t remember his name, but last day, Sunghoon excitedly told Jiwon about that older friend: at first, their sympathy for each other may not good, but little by little, they didn’t know why they could become closer, maybe because they had the same dream – the dream of standing on the stage to sing and dance wholeheartedly. That guy has an entire Busan voice. He says something with the loud voice so that it is possible to be misunderstood. Thinking few more seconds, Jiwon looks straight at Suwon’s eyes full of pent-up anger then asks surprisingly:
- Is he acquainted with you?
- Since the music festival.
It turned out to be a long time.
- Has you guys been very close?
- Maybe. You know I’m always careful about strangers, but for this person... I don’t have a little of carefulness.
- And today you rushed out to rescue him?
Jiwon bursts out laughing when seeing Suwon quickly nod his head. Jang Suwon today is not the same as usual but maybe because all issues happened too fast, Jiwon hasn’t yet realized that changing point. Glancing at the watch then saying with himself that the time is still left, Jiwon holds Suwon’s wrist and drags Suwon towards the medical room.

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- Jaeduk hyung, are you okay?
Sunghoon runs towards Jaeduk who is moving with every heavy step, then quickly puts Jaeduk’s hand on his shoulder to let Jaeduk have a hold. Seeing that, Jaeduk tries to hide his pain and says few sentences to comfort.
- Look at you. Were you very hurt? I take you to the medical room.
- Don’t do it Sunghoon ah. School time is coming. You just back to your class.

It’s been a while that Sunghoon couldn’t ask Jaeduk why he became like this, Sunghoon thinks he can’t hide his curiousness anymore. Leading Jaeduk to his seat in the classroom, Sunghoon glances at a band of people who is showing their satisfying and despising attitude then feels startled a bit. Sunghoon helps Jaeduk rub his foot then asks in whisper to avoid the attention:
- Was it a band of people in this class bullying you?
- No they didn’t. They’re very kind.
- Regional discrimination, I believe I know it clearly.
Sunghoon knits his brow and looks around once, but he resigns to controlling himself so that he will not go crazy. In the past, this Kang Sunghoon used to come to blows all the time, there is no reason why he’s scared of those people. It’s just because Sunghoon doesn’t want to be punished or expelled from school, and because he promised to Jiwon and Jaejin that he would study hard.
- It’s unbearable.
Jaeduk stops Sunghoon’s hand from slapping on the desk, puts the finger on his lips to ask Sunghoon to keep silent then tries not to sigh. Now, what happening also happened, the person whom Jaeduk worries most is Suwon – a friend that Jaeduk has known recently but was ready to help him and Suwon's cheek was black and blue because of being hit. This full-of-deep-affection debt is so big that Jaeduk doesn’t know how to pay worthily.

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-4-

Another afternoon comes after a busy morning, Jiwon takes advantage of doing the whole piles of exercise in class and he is allowed to back home soon. Seeing Suwon’s mood better, Jiwon feels relieve and leaves first, resigns to letting his friend stay and solve complicating numbers by himself. Is it appeared to be too unprincipled? But since midday, Jiwon has prepared his every own intention. This afternoon, Jiwon must wait for Sunghoon to leave school with him. Jiwon wants to be Sunghoon’s side, although they just be together for a short stretch of road, because Jiwon suddenly wants to look back on fews of memory still being deep. Jiwon has never forgotten the first time he met Sunghoon, at that time, Sunghoon was really shy and hid himself behind the back of Jiwon’s mom and next to him was a big white suitcase, sometimes Sunghoon became woozy, opened his eyes widely and stealthily as if he wanted to look at Jiwon more clearly, then in an instant he turned away that made Jiwon also shy.
"Has Sunghoon ever remembered my house’s attic?"
Students begin to leave school in crowds, and in there, it has a familiar figure along with a bike which has been deep in Jiwon’s mind since when. Jiwon calls Sunghoon’s name loudly in the crowded stream of people and in front of the eyes of many girls who are looking at him as if they were deluded. Sunghoon smiles happily like creating a flawless picture under the light of the afternoon slowly fading that makes Jiwon’s heart stop beating then he can only lower his head because of embarrassment. Four wheels are spinning together again towards the direction of the sun setting.
- This place... at that time when I was coming home with you, I suddenly realized that you turned your bike and disappeard.
- Because I was angry with you that day.
- Because I didn’t think of your feelings, right?
- Hmm... it was the past.
That day, because of a kid that Jiwon was worried a lot. He seemed to ignoring everything to find Sunghoon everywhere. Sunghoon of that day was also too good to create difficulties for Jiwon. Jiwon smiles and raises his hand aside, looks at Sunghoon few seconds then holds Sunghoon’s hand which is still hesitating.
- You’re so silly.
- If it wasn't t you wanted you to hold my hand, what could I do? But... this’s so dangerous.
- So let my hand go.
Sunghoon nods his head repeatedly, smiles with the closed eyes and says that he doesn’t let it go. Sunghoon is like a kitten, just a bit of scratches can also make his mind hurt, why can Jiwon ignore Sunghoon and not take care of him carefully?

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Going for a while, the divided road appeared at their sight, each person will have to back to their own house again. Since the day Sunghoon moved out, Jiwon seemed not to overcoming the empty feeling when he looked at the attic that used to be very loud, but Jiwon respected Sunghoon’s decision. Sunghoon is at the awkward age, so he will essentially not want to rely on anyone.
- I have to go. You don’t need to be with me today.
- Tomorrow I will.
Kissing slightly on Jiwon’s cheek to say goodbye, Sunghoon grieves over and leaves. Every time two people wave hand and say goodbye like this, Sunghoon always says with himself that he can meet Jiwon and be concerned about by hyung everyday, he is really happy. However, everytime he thinks about their relationship that Jiwon still wants to conceal from Jiwon’s parents, Sunghoon feels annoyed and insecure. If someday they must face difficulties, would this small ship durable enough?

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Having just come home and immediately stopped at the kitchen, Jiwon embraces his stomach which is hungry and looks around but there’s no one. If he remembers correctly, both dad and mom do not have important schedule to go out today...
- Jiwon.
Realizing mom is doing something in his room and dad also appears after that, Jiwon admits that he’s uncomfortable and suddenly his neck is quite hurt unintelligibly. Looking at his mom’s serious face, Jiwon feels his mood more insecure.
- I called Suwon. Why he said that you’d never called at his house during these weeks?
Being unexpected when mom goes straight to the point, Jiwon becomes woozy few seconds then he cannot hide his embarrassment. He forgot to ask Suwon to help him tell lie, and now everything becomes like this... Mom’s eyes are still unchanged and her absolute dissatisfaction appears in there. Jiwon bites lips slightly, trembles and hears mom’s voice echoing by his ears.
- Where did you go?
- … I came to Sunghoon’s house.
- Was it Sunghoon?
Finally Jiwon has nothing to tell lie anymore, when he tells the truth, he’ll be not afraid of making someone vexed afterwards.
- Who’s that?
- The boy who hired our attic in the past.
Jiwon looks at the face of his mom who has just answering the question with a little of annoyance from dad, then she quickly turns to Jiwon’s direction again. She looks calmer when hearing Jiwon mention Sunghoon but she still be angry a bit because she knows that her son has told lie for few weeks. Jiwon slowly has his limbs flaccid out of fear. He has never been scared when facing his parents like this time. It is partly because Jiwon essentially is not easy to worry or panic, and the remaining reason maybe because his parents have always trusted him. And because of the second reason, the atmosphere in the house today has become serious like this, maybe that trust will be crushed sooner or later.
- Why must you call at there every week and tell lie to me? Keeping in touch was also good.

- ...
Hearing that question, Jiwon bites his lips more tightly and doesn’t reply, this thing makes the mother’s heart where has become calm disordered again, even like being burned. She sits up, looks straight at her son’s face which is having something difficult to express, then decides to keep silent to be listened. She understands somewhat that Jiwon is an outgoing autison, but being a mother, no one wants their children to conceal anything from them.
One minute has passed, Jiwon doesn’t still raise voice.

- Hey Eun Jiwon, what really happened?
After few seconds for feeling shy then he knows more that everything will get out of his control, Jiwon decides to keep his head up, looks deeply at his mom’s eyes then says bravely:

- Did you ask me the reason I came to Sunghoon’s house?
- Yes.
- I only must take care of my lover.

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Supreme_Sundae #1
Chapter 9: Thank you for translating this ????
I hope to see more of jioonhoon.
kayla69
#2
Chapter 9: what happen to jaejin??
duker99 #3
Chapter 9: Please don’t stop their story,just getting interesting. You can write another story for J-walk later after this one completed. Thank you for the update.
kayla69
#4
i love it
duker99 #5
Chapter 6: Thanks for the update ! It’s getting interesting.
duker99 #6
It’s good start, please keep going....love jihoon story.