The three words take Sehun by surprise.

Sehun finds his heart stopping, blood pounding in his ears, and his legs twitching to run. His instincts tell him to bolt right on out of there and into the confines of his room. His mind tells him Jongin’s going to follow him because it’s his room too.

“Hey, don’t think too much about it, okay?” Jongin gives him a weak smile, as if he wants to reassure Sehun that he’s really fine, that those three words mean less than they really do, that Sehun can really walk out of there if he really wants to. But Sehun finds himself stuck under that pressure and toeing the line between fear and curiosity. He’s not sure if he wants this right now.

Jongin reaches over and pats his hand. “Don’t think about it too much with that little brain of yours. You’ll hurt yourself.”

Sehun finds himself snapping back into reality. “Excuse me, I’m passing all of my classes, unlike you,” he hisses.

Jongin sticks out his tongue. “I am passing. I have C’s.”

And just like that, the awkward air is gone and they’re back to normal. Sehun continues to tease Jongin’s lack of common sense. Jongin pokes fun at Sehun’s twig arms and gangly legs.

But no matter how much he tries, Sehun can’t forget those words. They linger in the back of his mind, tickling his thoughts. He glances at Jongin, who’s focused on the sky outside of the café. He can’t help but think that the glint in Jongin’s eyes are different today. The confession hangs over them like a looming cloud. Like the dark blanket in the distance that’s too far to worry about now but will inevitably brew a storm that might everything up.

Sehun finds himself watching with something sour on the tip of his tongue and an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach as Kyungsoo slips a hand into Jongin’s back pocket and squeezes.

Jongin squeaks and flushes, batting at his boyfriend’s arm and making Kyungsoo laugh.

Sehun feels sick all of a sudden, but he doesn’t know why. His mind is running a marathon, trying to convince himself that no, you’re not homophobic…. right? Sehun is very uncomfortable sitting there, in his own kitchen, in his apartment. He’s never felt this way before and he feels ashamed for even straying down that train of thought.

“Sehun?”

Jongin knocks him back down to reality – as Jongin always does – and Sehun finds both his best friend and his best friend’s boyfriend staring at him oddly.

Sehun looks like a deer in headlights. “Yes?” He straightens up unconsciously and then questions hims