When i wake up it’s dark, the room smells different.  There is an alarm ringing and I groan as i try to roll over and switch it off.

“ Jungie, you’re awake. “

I jump at the voice but it takes a short while to realise its Suho.

“ Oppa, why are all the lights off , where am I ?”

“Jungie, you got into an accident after you left the studio, you’ve been lying here in the hospital for 3 days now”

Silence consumes both of us and I try to piece my memory together, all i remember was leaving the studio and then waking up here nothing seems to make sense.

“ Is this a joke? haha very funny, i would be hurting everywhere if that was the case”

“ You’re on a morphine drip”

“ Then why are all the lights off? ” i question trying to break this stupid prank

“ Jungie …. its the middle of the day and the lights are are all on “

“ No … its dark “

Before Suho can reply i hear a door open and someone walks in.

“ Hello Miss Kim , I’m your doctor we’re gonna just do a simple check on you, please move your feet and hands”

“ What are you talking about , who the hell are you ? and can someone turn the bloody lights on? “

I’m starting to feel frustrated that everyone is comfortable sitting in this darkness.

“ You need to calm down and listen to me”

“ I am calm “

“ The accident has left a clot near your brain, its retinal vascular occlusion. We’re not sure if its temporary or permanent. We have to run scans to check “

“ You’re joking right, Suho THIS IS NOT FUNNY CAN WE NOT PLAY ANYMORE PLEASE I’M SCARED.

I feel him take my hand in his and hold it tightly, i feel the tears start to trickle down the side of my cheeks.
This cannot be real. Everything was fine, I didn’t…. , this has to be a joke.

“ I will do everything i can to fix this Hea Jung. Please believe me.”

“ Miss Kim, we need to run some tests now. “

I lie back down speechless. I mindlessly follow everything they ask me to do. Everything is fine , i just cant see.
Then i realise the last memory i had was leasing the studio, leaving Yixing in the room and walking out.

When the doctors eventually leave to schedule my CT scan. I manage a small whisper.
“ Oppa .. “

“ Yes jungie?”

“ Does Yixing know?”

He sighs, and holds my hand.

“ I haven’t told him, i just told him you had gone out of the city to visit your friends for now, thought i feel he has the right to know”

“ No. “

“ Jungie he will …”

“ No he cannot know, you have to promise me to the ends of the earth that you will not tell him. “

“ Jungie , he loves you I can see it and i know it, please don’t try to hide this from him, he’ll be so broken”

“No, Suho I don’t want him to know , or see me in this pathetic state.”

“ You will get better its probably temporary” he begs me to change my mind but i’m insistent.

The conversation ends there.

Its about 2 weeks before the doctors decide to discharge me from the hospital. They taught me how to use the walking stick and I try my best to walk on my own. Occasionally knocking into something but more or less getting by unharmed. Suho came to get me and insisted that i moved in with him so that he could take care of me. I was against it but he threatened to tell Yixing.

He packed all of my stuff and moved it over for me on his own, careful not to startle the rest of the members or let slip.  He said Yixing had gone back to china to promote and was separated from the rest of the group for now.  Things were a bit easier to hide.  Suho told the rest that he had some family issues and would be staying alone for awhile .  

Then that was me. I couldn’t work at the store anymore, Suho helped to hire a manage to run it properly for me he said i could go back once i was better. I just nodded and agreed to everything he was doing. It seemed pointless to argue i was useless without my eyes.

Simple task like cooking or cleaning rendered impossible to me, Suho hired a helper to aid me with all the things i couldn’t do on my own.

____________

The sun was bright , i could feel the heat on my skin even in winter.  It had been about 6 months since everything happened and i was getting by much better.  Thing became easier to deal with, and i didn’t need supervision going out anymore. Suho insisted that i at least  had a drive to take me to places i wanted to go so he didn’t need to worry about me getting into another accident. Other than that i was on my own.

I got out the car and walked carefully across the pathway to my store. The new girl who had helped me was doing a fantastic job. She started numerous SNS accounts to help promote it and it helped the business tremendously.

Gently i pushed the door open and hear the familiar ring of the bell.

“ Hea jung shii”

“ Hi Eunhae ! Hows everything today ? “ I greeted her with a warm hug as she brought me to the counter and pulled a seat out for me.

“ Everything is good , business is doing well you don’t have to worry too much, I promised i would take care of it! “

I smiled at the young girl. Happy to have found her.

The bell rung again and she rushed to the front welcoming the customer.  I turn my head in the general direction of the door and smile.

“ Welcome, I hope you find something you like !”

There wasn’t a reply but Eunhae walked over and whispered the same time i heard the bell ring again  “that man was weird he came in looked around and left hurriedly, maybe he didn’t think he find what he wanted,”

I laughed.

“ he also asked if you were blind which i thought was slightly rude, I just said yes and then he left”

My brows furrowed and wondered why this man posed such a weird question but ignored it. Some people just didn’t have any manners.