Amnesia

We all have it, apparently

When I said that I’ve never fallen in love before, I purposely held any memories of one girl at the back of my mind. That was were she should be, just at the back of my mind, not in front of me, standing with her entrancing eyes and ever glowing skin. Her face is so delicate that it could be easily mistaken as innocence. Was it though?

A large lump in my throat demanded to be swallowed, but how could I when I can’t even breathe? 

Breathe. Right, I need to breathe.

A cough beside me did the trick, even successfully making me avert my eyes, now focusing it on the D.A, who had her eyebrow up, seemingly sizing up Jisoo. 

“Are you seriously staring her up and down?” I whispered harshly, suddenly feeling the need to defend the girl in front of us.

Jennie glanced at me, “Are you seriously going to stare at her forever?” She sighed, eyes roaming around the precinct. “Where’s Detective Park?” And then she went to find Rosé, leaving me alone in front of someone who used to be a mere ghost.

Where is Lisa when you need her?

“I’ve been assigned to shadow you for two weeks. I just thought I’d drop by before we formally start.” 

Oh god I can’t breathe, again. 

I shut my eyes close, keeping myself from clutching my chest and looking like a fish out of the water. I was having one of my panic attacks. It had been years since I had one.

Okay. Domain, kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species. Domain, kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species.

Slowly, my breathing came back as I recited the hierarchy over and over again. 

“Are you okay?” A hand rested on my right shoulder and I jolted back. I can handle three grenades exploding at the same time but this, this is too much. But then again, I’m a calm and collected person, and I was raised to act and respond well under pressure.

“Yeah, sorry. Just a bit sleepy.” I smiled, waving her off. However, something was bothering me, there was not a single sense of familiarity in her tone or the way she looked at me. Either she didn’t recognize me or she’s pretending not to know me so nobody will catch on. I’m quite sure it’s the latter. I always leave a mark, no one forgets me, especially Jisoo. She can’t forget me after what she did. 

Nevertheless, I smiled, playing along. “The captain hasn’t notified me yet though.” And speaking of, my phone vibrated. “Oh. Here it is.” Like I was expecting, Captain Stinson confirmed what Jisoo has said. “I guess you’ll be starting tomorrow?”

“Yes. I’ll be here first thing in the morning.” She nodded, the smile on her face not once faltering. “I should get going, don’t wanna hold you back before I even start to.”

“I’ll walk you out.” I offered, hoping to catch on her agenda. Surely she won’t just show up to play pretend with me.

“Brae! I called dibs!” B.I shouted from his desk, earning a smirk from me and a chuckle from Jisoo. He can call dibs all he wants but he can never make a move.

As we rounded the corner to the parking lot, I placed my hand on Jisoo’s wrist, pulling her aside. “Tell me why you suddenly decided to pop up in my life again?” 

She gave me a strange look before laughing. “For work?”

“There’s only the two of us now. Tell me why you’re here.”

“To kiss my boss’ ? Nobody’s taking this job and I thought that if I did, I’d get some sort of recognition or whatever. I’m pretty desperate at this point.”

“ you.” I let go of her wrist, running my fingers through my hair. “You don’t get to pretend like nothing happened!”

Jisoo backed off a little, eyebrows furrowing. “Wait. What?” She’s trying play with me just like how she did before. I know it. Isn’t once enough?

“I can’t believe this. You left me hanging, without a word, without anything and now you have the audacity to show up and bring a storm? Wow.”

“I think you’re mistaken.” Jisoo stared at me and somehow, no matter how much I force it, there was something wrong, maybe something missing even. “I don’t know where those accusations are coming from but surely, it’s meant for someone who hurt you before, which I know isn’t me since we’ve met like, 5 minutes ago.” She glanced around before focusing on me once again. “I’ll be going now.” 

I watched as she went inside her car and drove off, leaving me alone to drown in my thoughts. As many possibilities and explanations I can come up with, I needed real answers. Thus, I fished out my phone and contacted one of my private investigators. 

“Have a background check on Kim Jisoo. I want to know if she got into an accident or anything like that. I want the results no longer than two days.”

…

I did everything but sleep last night. I finally got around replacing the batteries for the tv remote, which I don’t really use that much, I was able to throw away the stacks of unnecessary magazines left at the table, I was able to clean the fridge of expired goods, basically everything. 

Waiting for my P.I. to send me the information got me restless to the point of not even noticing that the sun has risen already. Then it dawned to me how much time I wasted last night. I’ve been doing all these chores when I could’ve been working on my new case. Just another thing to add to my regret list.

Speaking of which, another thing that I will more or less add to the list in the future was sitting by my desk. 

I sighed, preparing myself for the day, only to be pulled inside the break room.

“Tell me you saw it.” Lisa’s eyes were wider than usual, demanding me to tell her something.

“Saw what?”

“It.” She paused, glancing at the door. “At your desk.”

“Jisoo?”

“Yes! Who else?”

“Well you said ‘it’ so I thought——“

“That doesn’t matter. Why is she here?” Lisa placed her hands on her hips, looking so worried.

“She’s a journalist assigned to shadow me for two weeks.” I raised an eyebrow as I remembered how she disappeared when I needed her. “Where were you yesterday?” But apparently she thought I was only changing the subject, which maybe I was.

Lisa scoffed. “She’s a journalist now? Last time we saw her she was a . That’s a huge improvement, I’ll give her that.” 

I knew all too well that there was no escaping Lisa now. Normally, I would be more than willing to share with her every gossip that I overheard but with this, I know she won’t receive it well. Reluctantly, I kept her up to date on what transpired yesterday.

“What if she has amnesia?” By this time, we were seated on one of the chairs as I shared my thoughts. It wasn’t impossible.

“What if she’s just faking it?”

I shook my head, somehow convinced and firm on my theory. “No. She’s not faking it. I can feel it.”

“Well I hope you can also feel that she’s bad for you.”

“Lisa—-“

“Y/N?” My head snapped to the door, where there stood Rosé, looking less stressed than the past few days. She looked good. “What time are you going?”

“I was just about to go. Why?”

“Nothing.” Of course, it was not nothing. No one does something without a reason, and as much as I wanted to ask, Rosé was already out of the break room. Nonetheless, I was grateful for the interception.

Lisa didn’t stop me from leaving but surely, the ‘talk’ doesn’t end there.

“Good morning,” Greeted Jisoo, who stood up and handed me a coffee, which I took.

“Thanks.” I offered a smile, shuffling to my desk to get the files needed for the day.

“Don’t get used to it.”

I glanced at the playful tone and shrugged. “Too bad. I’ll be expecting coffee every morning for two weeks.”

Her laugh filled my ears and I found myself smiling, and when I became conscious, I stopped. I wasn’t supposed to be smiling, I wasn’t even supposed to talk to her. Self harming is just too satisfying for me to stop. But maybe it isn’t self harming, rather a sign that I’ve moved on and is ready to mend what was broken. 

“We’re going to question a former drug user who used to buy from La Araña. He’s the target, a small but rising drug smuggler in the area.” This case was assigned to me a few weeks before, just that I have been pushing it aside since it wasn’t as big of a threat as other cases. It’s about time to get around with it.

“Are you going to get a warrant first?”

I shook my head. “Normally, but this is voluntary.”

“Okay. Shall we—- .” Jisoo gaped in horror as her cream colored blouse now have a splotch of coffee.

The perpetrator stood beside her, rolling her eyes as if she was the one who was inconvenienced. “Shouldn’t have been standing in the middle of the hallway then.” Jennie then raised an eyebrow. “You’re new?”

“She’s Kim Jisoo, the journalist who will shadow me,” I answered behalf of Jisoo, who was trying to dab away the brown liquid on her shirt. It was useless.

“Oh. The one that got you hooked.”

“What?” My head snapped at the comment.

Jennie clearly didn’t have plans to elaborate as she asked, “What are you doing today?”

“Questioning.”

“I’m coming with.” She shrugged, not caring that she was uninvited, and walking towards the elevator, probably heading to the car already. Then again, she’s the D.A. She doesn’t need an invitation.

Remembering that I had a spare blouse in my locker, I went to get it and hand it over to Jisoo. Not the best fit as she was a bit smaller than me but it’ll do. “H-here.” I coughed, realizing what happened.

Jisoo smiled, taking the blouse from my hands. “Thanks.” I then pointed her towards the restroom to change.

Lisa quickly stood up from her desk, shuffling towards me. “What are you doing?”

“Giving her my extra blouse?”

“You’re acting all weird! You never stutter! Did you forget what she did to you? It’s like you’re the one who has amnesia and not her, if she even really has that.” It was a mere gesture of kindness that I would’ve done even for her. She’s getting on my nerves with her constant nagging and the need to make everything a big deal.

I sighed. “Lisa, it’s been years already. I’m bound to move on from that.”

“I’m just worried you’ll get hurt again. And I’m saying this as your best friend who saw how she broke you.”

“Like I said, it’s been years already. I’ve grown up. I won’t get hurt as easily.”

“Physically, nobody doubts it. But emotionally? We both know how vulnerable you get especially with you always ending up liking those who’s bound to hurt you.”

I didn’t like being reminded of my weaknesses, as scarce as they are, their pull is harder than gravity, it can bring me down to the core. “Let’s not do this right now, or better yet, ever.” And so I went down, deciding to join Jennie and wait for Jisoo at the car.

I entered the car, noticing how Jennie looked so cozy by the passenger seat. There’s really no point asking how she got my keys, so instead, I sighed. “Why are you even here? Don’t you have enough work to do?”

“This is my work.” I raised an eyebrow. I get that she’s the D.A and all but her job doesn’t require her to do this much. Hell, I’m a detective. Questionings should be done by officers but here I am. “I’m just making sure that you do it efficiently. Any mistake you make is a headache for me.”

“What makes you think that I’m going to make a mistake.”

“Well, you’ve already made one,” Jennie muttered, eyes following Jisoo who walked in a hurry towards the backseat, yet still being able to look graceful. How? 

On the drive towards the shop, Jennie read over the files, making notes here and there.

“Did you do a background check?” She asked, closing the file, probably referring to the one I’m about to question.

I pursed my lips, knowing full well that I’d receive a click of a tongue and an eye roll. “No. She didn’t want to give her name.”

Like I expected, she did. “For all we know this is a trap. You should’ve pressed her to say her name.”

Jisoo coughed before saying, “I heard she volunteered to take part in the questioning. Volunteers are much like witnesses, they won’t divulge information, especially their name, if they don’t think you can be trusted.”

“You’re a shadow, you don’t talk.” Jennie snapped, crossing her arms while I look at her with disapproval. That attitude is uncalled for, but of course, she doesn’t give a .

I pulled up at the parking lot, the three of us getting out of the car and walking towards the shop. It was a catholic bookstore. The store was located in a brick building, not too old, and the space was relatively small. 

As I would’ve thought, the store was void of customers, with only an employee reading a book behind the counter. She looked up immediately at the sound of the door opening. I’m guessing she’s the one who messaged me.

…

The questioning went well. The lady, 79 years old, last bought from La Araña three months ago, said she already quit. Apparently, she volunteered to take part in the questioning as the drug smuggler ran away with her money on the supposed last buy. She told me where they would meet for the drugs and the usual route he takes. With this information, all I there’s left to do is have the police stationed and wait.

“I hope you catch him soon, dear.” Mrs, Wilson stood up, and so did I. The other two remained observing.

“I will, don’t worry Mrs. Wilson. Thank you very much.” I offered a hand shake, which she warmly shook.

“No, thank you.” She smiled, before taking something from the shelf. “Here, take this.” A small Jesus sculpture lay on my hand. “Let the christ take you high.”

I thanked her once more before we all went out. I would’ve laughed at the sculpture but that’ll just be too mean for a sweet old woman like her.

“That lady is too old for .” Jisoo chuckled. We were all standing right outside the store.

“No Sherlock. Your exemplary observational skills will get you so far, and I really hope you stay there.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve told me so far.” Jisoo looked pleased at the compliment.

Jennie smiled, and I know too well what she meant. Poor Jisoo, being at the receiving end of Jennie’s snarky remarks.

“Ooh. I’ll go get us ice cream.” Jisoo skipped towards the Ice cream truck that had just pulled over near us.

“Thanks, I—-“ I was cut off by a sudden pull by my wrist, into an alley at the side of the store.

“Okay, that’s it.” Jennie pushed me to the wall, eyes full of determination and all I can see and feel is red.

“Wha—-“

And then all I knew was her lips found mine, tongue roaming around, obviously seeking for dominance. Whether she hasn’t gotten laid for how long is none of my business. The roughness of it all, her hands tangled on my hair, the occasional bite on my lips, it was , and I’m sure she knew that.

Just as I placed my hand on her lower back, she pulled away. “From here on, you have amnesia. Understand?” Her breath was ragged, just as much as mine.

I furrowed my eyebrows, playing along. “Wait. Who are you?”

Jennie stared at me for a good couple of second and in a snap, our lips met once again, and this time, I made sure that she knows I’m not submissive. I could feel her smile when my hands went at her back, under her shirt.

We eventually pulled away for air, face barely an inch apart. “Okay, now, you have amnesia again,” Her hot breath hit my ear, making me feel warm. I’m more than willing to forget if it means we get to do it again.

In case some of my old readers didn't see the note I posted before, 

I changed Jisoo's old character to Bogum. She used to be the one Y/N left in scotland to take care of the cartel, now it's bogum. I hope this clears the confusion, if it doesn't, ask away ;)