Eyes Closed

I honestly don’t know what I’m doing with my life. But don’t we all? We have this everyday routine: wake up, take a bath, eat breakfast, work or go to school, have lunch, go home, have dinner, then sleep. Why do we do these things? For what? We’re all going to die anyways. 

As I drifted away from my occasional existential crisis, I observed the pink-haired detective in front of me. She seemed distracted, even tense. The rare wrinkle on her blouse catches my attention. For a ‘perfect’ girl like her, this says a lot.

“…Detective Hans has successfully entered the Heins household. Apparently Steve Bose died the other day.” I finally took in what Rosé was saying. I was too distracted earlier to even listen.

News travels fast. Especially when there’s a rat in the household. The Heins were a distant relative of my family, however, they are still active in the family business. If they’re easily penetrated by these undercover detectives, they should be given a warning. 

But wait. “Detective Hans?”

Rosé’s eyebrows furrowed even more as she stopped writing on the white board to face me. “I briefed you about—-I knew you weren’t listening. Why do I even bother having these meetings and briefings when my partner isn’t even listening? Might as well talk to myself now, shall I?” She snapped, rolling her eyes. Am I really talking to Rosé right now?

“Oh wow. I’m sorry. Didn’t think you’d get this upset that I forgot who Detective Hans is.”

She closed her eyes, sighing, before opening them again. Better. She looked more composed and relaxed. “I’m sorry, it’s just…I have a lot of things in my mind.”

“No worries, everybody has their bad days. Mine’s everyday.” I shrugged, earning a light chuckle from Rosé. I fished out the pack of cigarettes from my coat’s pocket. “Want one?”

“No, thank you. I don’t smoke.” 

I nodded, putting it back.

Rosé leaned on the table in front of me. “Didn’t know you smoked.”

“I don’t.”

“Then?”

I grinned. “Confiscated it from a thief earlier. He was smoking and the whole precinct was about to smell like cigarettes. I mean, if I’m going to die, I don’t want it to be because of second hand smoke.”

“So if I did took your offer to smoke, what would you do?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I’d tell you to go out.”

“But it’s raining outside.”

“That’s your problem.”

“Wow.” Rosé laughed, shaking her head. 

As much as I want to know what was bothering her, it’s none of my business. At least she’s not as tense as before. 

I looked at my watch and saw that it was already 10 am. I sighed, remembering the new assignment the captain gave. “I’ll get going now if we’re done here. There’s this guy I have to interview.”

“Sure. Go ahead. Take care.” Rosé smiled before turning to organize the documents she had earlier.

The trip wasn’t successful as the guy wasn’t around. It appears that there was an emergency and he’ll be back two days from now. Guess I’ll just have to wait then.

I decided to stop by the finest café in town ‘cause there’s no way I’m going to drink that awful cheap coffee in the precinct. I mean, when was the last time I ever had a perfectly roasted coffee? I can’t even remember!

It usually takes the barista a couple of minutes to finish the drink so I sat down the stool near the counter. The boredom was about to kill me when a burning hot lady came in. I smirked, knowing who it was and almost stood up to greet her, but then I remembered… I quickly faced the other way around hoping she wouldn’t notice me. 

“Sweet vanilla cold brew for Y/N.” Great timing. . . .

I walked towards the claiming area beside the cashier, taking the drink as fast as I can so I can leave already, but apparently I wasn’t fast enough as I felt someone pull me backwards by my blazer.

Turning around, I came face to face with a frowning Jennie Kim with her arms crossed. “You haven’t sent me the report. It’s an hour past the deadline.”

I smiled widely, the ‘guilty but I’m cute’ kind of smile. Usually works calming down people based on occasional circumstances.

Jennie groaned and rolled her eyes. “Don’t give me that smile.” She only made me smile even wider, finding out that even her can’t resist me. “Tomorrow. 5pm.” Ha!

“Did I tell you how much I love you?”

“Tell that to someone who cares.” Jennie stepped aside, standing by the claiming area, while I followed.

“That’s why I just told you.”

“When did I possibly give you the impression that I care about you?” She gave me an unamused stare.

“The first time we met?” I shrugged.

Once again, she rolled her eyes. I’m going to keep track of how many eye rolls she does in a day next time.

“Hand me the report by tomorrow. 5pm, at my office. Don’t be late.”

“Can’t I just send it through email?”

“No.”

“But Lisa sends you her reports through email.”

Jennie raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“So Lisa gets a special treatment? I’m hurt!” I placed my right hand on my chest, pretending to be hurt.

“See you in my office. 5pm.” Jennie took her coffee and left, leaving me to watch her walk out. I shook my head. What a gorgeous human being.

Once I got back to the precinct, I started working on my report so I wouldn’t have to think about it tomorrow. In the midst of it, I noticed Lisa walking to her desk. Something is off. I can feel it.

“What?” Lisa groaned. She must’ve noticed me staring at her. 

I stood up and sat on her table. “Spill it.”

“Spill what?”

“Just tell me.”

“How do you even know that I have—-Whatever.” She sighed.“Okay, well…Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t.” But usually, when Lisa says ‘don’t laugh’, I’d end up laughing twice as hard as if she didn’t tell me not to.

“Iwentonablinddateyesterday,” Lisa mumbled so fast that I almost didn’t get it. Almost. But when it comes to things like this, my hearing gets 10x sharper.

“You what?! Are you serious?” I bit my lip, trying to suppress a grin. I can’t believe it. Lisa went on a blind date. Lisa!

“Your judgemental side is showing again. Please hide it.” She buried her face on her palms.

“Okay, well….You went on a blind date.” It sounds so weird coming out of my mouth.

Lisa groaned. “There’s nothing wrong with blind dates! It’s fun, you get to know a stranger and go on another date if it works well!”

To be honest, never have I thought that Lisa would participate in blind dating, or whatever you call it. It’s just not her. She used to go on and on about soulmates and all those when we were younger, what happened to that girl? I mean, I don’t especially believe in soulmates and destiny but I thought it was cute that she believes in those. 

Instead of making her feel even more embarrassed, though I genuinely enjoy it, I decided to shift my interest on the guy. “Then tell me about your date. Is he tall? Handsome? Rich? Good boy or bad boy?”

“He’s a bit taller than me. He’s not that good looking but he’s definitely not ugly. He’s a nice guy.” She shrugged.

“Lame.”

“He’s going to be a doctor!”

I snickered. “Doctor of what? Of desperation?”

“Oh shut up.” Lisa pushed me off the table, at least attempted, before joining me in laughter.

“So, are you going on a second date?” Please say no.

“No. He’s boring.”

“Oh thank god.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow, giving me her teasing smile. “I thought you don’t believe in God?”

“Not the point.”

“Why did you sound so relieved?”

“Well, he doesn’t sound like your type. And plus, a doctor? You can do better.” It was true. I genuinely think the guy is lame.

Lisa shook her head before propping her chin on her palm. “Okay, what’s better than a doctor?”

I smirked. “Me.”

“Two drug lords in a relationship, perfect match.” She laughed. Well, wouldn’t it be a perfect match? Ha. I never really looked at it that way. “What do you have against doctors anyways—-but wait. Bogum is a doctor.” Lisa sat straight and gave me an accusing look. I could feel her Bogum hatred coming out, but of course I’d even more.

“Bogum is different.”

“Wow. Of course, Bogum is always an exception.” Lisa rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

I laughed, crouching next to her, pulling her into a hug. “Oh don’t be jealous, babe. You know you’re my only one.” I winked and planned to more when a loud cough made me look to my right.

“Y/N. Where were you? I’ve been looking for you earlier.” Rosé stood with her arms crossed, looking a tad bit awkward.

I grinned, standing up to face her. “I’ve only been gone for an hour and you’ve already miss me? Don’t get too attached Rosie~”

She shook her head. “Detective Hans is about to send a new intel. He notified me earlier that he found out how the is being transported. He just need a little bit more time to get the pictures.”

. I totally forgot about the rat. “What time did he notify you?”

“An hour ago. Why?”

“What’s taking him so long to send it?”

“He needs time. Don’t be too impatient. This is the most we’ve gotten in years.” Rosé turned around and went back to her desk.

Before I can even take a step, Lisa pulled me down. “Detective Hans?” She whispered harshly, obviously nervous.

“I got this.” I pinched her cheeks, causing her to glare at me. She stresses out too much. I stepped outside, giving my hitman a call and ordering him to take care of the detective.

It didn’t take long before Rosé got a call that Detective Hans was shot dead. She called me over the conference room and passed the news onto me. Distress was written all over her face and she looked like she was about to cry. I guess they were close.

“This is why I’m working so hard to put those heartless animals down. You know, I believe in second chances, even third, but when it comes to these drug lords, I don’t even know.” I watched her pace back and forth in front of me. Am I really a heartless animal? Perhaps. I’ve heard dozens of insults and have been called numerous names and I didn’t ing care., but why is it that I feel like a grenade was just thrown in my face. Why is it that I feel very heavy right now. 

Rosé continued, “I mean, how can a person kill another person? I’m telling you, those people, they don’t have any soul. The world will be a better place without them.” I clenched my fist under the table as Rosé looked at me with fire on her eyes. “I’m going to take them down. We’re going to take them down.”

I’m badly in need of a drink.

It was nine in the evening when I left the precinct and went straight to the bar. This day felt too long and I knew I deserve at least a Clos de la Roche to end the day. 

I took a sit on one of the empty stools. There weren’t much people around compared to the bar I went to with the officers before. It’s a given though ‘cause this is a five star bar.

“A bottle of Clos de la Roche,” I ordered. The bartender smiled before he turned around to find the wine.

“Nice choice, but can you afford it?” I smiled, recognizing the voice from my right. It was the DA, sipping wine of her own, eyes lazily observing the bartender. It was just like the night we first met.

“I thought you were going to pay for it?” I teased, finally making her face me.

“My job doesn’t pay well. I’d be living in the street for a month.” Jennie rolled her eyes, swirling her glass of wine before propping her chin on her palm.

“Just stay with me then.” I shrugged, pouring the content of the bottle into the glass. I took a sip of the wine, and oh god, I almost forgot how good it tasted after all the cheap alcohols that I drank at the other bar.

Noticing that Jennie had been silent for a while, I glanced to my right, only to see her with an amused smile on her face. It is only now that I took in her appearance tonight. Her hair was in a messy bun and her red lipstick is almost fading. The DA is so y.

“You’re very pretty when you smile.” The moment I made a comment, her smile turned into a frown and she sat a little less relaxed than earlier. 

“I wasn’t smiling.”

“You were.”

“You’re drunk. Go home.” Jennie turned to face forward, focusing all her attention on her wine. 

I snickered, and stopped myself from teasing her. I’ll let her off tonight.

xxx

I didn’t know what happened after my first drink. All I know right now is I’ve had too many drinks and Lisa was driving me somewhere, probably my apartment. Yeah, my apartment. Lisa? Wasn’t I drinking with Jennie?

“Y/N, we’re here.” I looked at my right and saw Lisa standing by the car door. I exited the car and went inside my apartment with her assistance. 

“Am I really a heartless animal?” I asked her once I sat down on the couch. I still couldn’t take it off my mind. Why was I so affected anyways?

“Wha—-“ Before Lisa could finish what she was about to say, she tackled me down the floor, covering my whole body with hers, and within a fraction of a second, the mirror on the wall shattered.

My drunken mindset went away and I quickly pushed Lisa off of me and ushered her to hide by the wall. 

Lisa took a quick look out the window. “He fled.”

I sighed, before a sudden surge of anger replaced my relief. I stood up. “Don’t ever do that.”

Lisa stood up as well, facing me. “Saving your life?”

“Think before you do something stupid.”

hang open for a second before she glared at me. “Why can’t you just be thankful?” “I saved your ing life. Can you stop being an for a minute?”

She just doesn’t understand. 

Lisa scoffed, and I can see the anger in her gaze. “I can’t believe this. You’re really not gonna say anything? Wow. I put my life in line for you and then what do I get in return? Why do you have to be so ungrateful? Can’t you just accept—-“

it. “I just don’t want to lose you! Goddamn it!” I shut my eyes, breathing heavily. There was a couple of seconds of silence until I opened my eyes and looked her straight into the eyes. I needed affirmation. “Promise me you won’t do that again.”

“I can’t.” Lisa bit her lip but didn’t break eye contact. “I don’t think when it comes to you, I just do.”

“Lisa—-“

“You can’t give me what I want, I know.”

“You deserve a lot better.”

“Bull.” She sighed. “But whatever. Just don’t push me away.” Lisa walked past me, heading towards the door. And before I knew it, she was already out of the house. Why couldn’t I just give her what she wants, what she deserves? What the hell is wrong with me?

I guess this drugs have messed up my life completely. I don’t even have to be a drug addict for it to ruin my life. I didn’t ask for any of this, I never wanted to be born into this. However, it’s not like we get to choose our life. It’s a given. Either you make something out of it or just throw all of it away. Well, I chose the former, and the trick is to stay alive to actually enjoy all the good things, if it even exist.

Sorry I took so long to update O.O