Chapter 3
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The hall was huge. For all Yeeun's training, she's never really been on stage before - a real one not SM’s evaluation theatre - and it was huge and dark, a gaping beast of a hall. Everything was black but the pink and purple stage, all was dark but the lamps waiting to act as spotlights. There were rails attached to the stage and the idea of the giant platforms moving made her queasy.
It was amazing.
Suddenly there was a pang of gratitude that she hadn't quite dared to pretend to mess up the re-evaluations, that as soon as the music her body had responded. The song and dance had been easy enough to learn for her, though apparently not easy enough to net her an A. It didn't matter, a B was already higher than she'd planned-
“You okay, Yeeun?” Kyungmi was looking at her like she'd just spawned a second head.
“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?” Yeeun responded, quickly composing herself.
Kyungmi raised her eyebrows. “You were staring with your jaw on the floor…”
Oh. Crap. Yeeun laughed sheepishly. “You saw nothing.”
Yeeun's gaze was caught by the red light of the camera crew filming the exchange. Even now, when they were preparing to perform in front of a camera, there were more cameras around them. Mnet was very adamant to get every scrap of footage they could and Yeeun couldn't let her guard down, not now and not ever. Hopefully her little stint with the top chair had been enough to sate the beast hungry for drama. At least CT would be happy with the press she had surely gotten them. Bad press was good press right? She hoped it would just be bad press.
“Those in A class get on the stage please,” The stage director called and those in the pretty pink shirts were called on top of the stage. Despite everything Yeeun felt a pang of envy for those who got to stand there at the very edge. There was no denying that they looked fabulous at the top of the triangle.
Gaeul looked radiant and arrogant in a way that made Yeeun's toes curl. She'd gotten her center position handed to her on an SM coloured platter. Her dance had been critically unimpressive, but those two letters on her nametag had been all she'd needed. Disgusting. Yeeun hated people who only relied on their names or companies and Gaeul had been a parasite for years. Too pretty to demote to some nugu company like Yeeun had been, but never actually talented or charismatic enough to debut in a group. Yeeun was glad that, in the end, it had been Yerim chosen to be added to Red Velvet and not Gaeul. If it wasn't Yeeun then at least let it be Yerim.
She wondered what SM was going on about sending Gaeul here. Usually they were above letting their trainees mingle in any show with the riff-raff. Was SM finally realizing that they weren't on top of the game anymore? Maybe they just wanted their own Somi or Sejeong. Maybe after NCT and the late success of Red Velvet they weren't certain of their new girl groups immediate success anymore and were sweating in their too expensive suits…
Or maybe Gaeul had simply sold her soul to the devil for this deal.
It's a good thing Yeeun wasn't planning on ending up in this horrid bubble gum girl group, being in one group with Gaeul would surely result in one of them suffering an axe murder.
She turned to Kyungmi beside her. “I hope that many more stages follow for you.”
Kyungmi nodded. “I would do anything to keep the stage near.” She said it with such conviction and passion that Yeeun had no doubts of her sincerity. And that’s why she liked Kyungmi. The girl had a fire, a desperation to make it, and there was nothing Yeeun could respect more. Kyungmi deserved a spot in the debut team because she would fight for it tooth and nail.
That’s who this competition should belong to.
Yeeun knew that it was far more likely that the pretty ones scored an easy victory. The effortlessly charming ones who didn’t need to fight, the ones who got everything handed to them on a plate. Those would be the ones to make it, she’d seen it happen time and time again. The Kyungmis would be forgotten, deemed too greedy for a chance that would determine their future. How was that for bull? Excuse a girl for being desperate to succeed in a world of competition that the fans made to begin with. Pit girls against each other for sport and punish them for fighting. Yeeun hated every single part of it.
Well, as long as she was here she wasn’t going to let that happen. She smiled at Kyungmi. “Fight to the top, then,” she said, and reached out to squeeze her hand. “I know I’m voting for you.”
The light shone bright, the pink uniform was on, and Gaeul was teetering at the edge of the tip of the triangle. The platform was taller than she was, it would hurt to fall off. She dangled her leg over the edge, the foot captured in the most delicate of school girl shoes.
She was at the tip, at the edge, at the Center of her life. Wasn't that just a poetic way to look at it? She squinted at the camera on rails that would swoop around her, that would focus on her at only the most crucial moments and she would smile oh how she would smile. She would dazzle. She would shine. And it will all have been worth it.
“Recording in 3,” the stage manager shouted. “Get ready!”
Gaeul waved her hands. Here it was. The one, she felt it. This was the broadcast recording. They'd already recorded a casual version and they'd practiced the real recording to death, she was ready.
She glanced behind her at the girls standing at her shoulders. Choi Bitna and Park Dain. One stunning, the other strikingly charismatic to make up for it, but neither of them Center. She sent them a quick grin and turned back to the front.
“3. 2. 1.”
The music . I promise, I promise, I promise.
Gaeul looked into the camera and smiled.
Pick me pick me pick me up you ers. Make me a star I belong on this stage.
And they recorded again and they recorded again. If this song wasn't delivering her straight to stardom she'd hate it, but as it were she had no choice but to adore it. At the end her cheeks hurt from smiling but she still have it her all. Make the editors sweat about which perfect ending to use. Let the public tremble at what an SM trainee brought to the table.
Perfection.
Afterwards they were all corralled out of the studio to line up outside and the girls were all giddy, chatter and giggles surrounding Gaeul.
Many of the girls pushed their way towards the glass windows where curious fans were waiting outside to catch the very first glimpse of the new Produce offering. Gaeul spotted Mosu on the forefront, sending wink after wink to the masses, the shameless one. Gaeul wove between some of the girls herself to take a look. She squinted against the flash of a camera. There were more people than she’d expected, rows upon rows. None of them even knew her yet, knew where she came from or who she was. Who any of them were. But here they were anyway, snapping HD shots of girls behind glass.
Gaeul blew one a kiss. Catch me if you can. She pointed at her nametag, getting the attention of one of the lenses. ‘Remember my name!’ she mouthed. ‘Remember me!’
How could they not?
She was center, after all.
The dorm was totally quiet, the only thing that could be heard in the dark was the gentle snoring or Yeji coming from above. Yoonseo didn't even want to know what time it was.
It had only been a week since she'd stood on stage at M!Countdown and she already missed it, craved the stage, the cameras, the lights. Didn't white miss the gaudy pink school uniforms (it had been years since she'd been forced into one of those and a reprise wasn't Yoonseo's favourite thing about idoldom) but if terrible costumes wasn't the idol tax Yoonseo didn't know what was.
But most important was the fact that she was going to stand on stage in another week's time. Tomorrow they'd be returning to the English Village for filming session two and while she'd miss her own bed she was ecstatic to return that pink paradise. But she had to do it well. She had to do it perfectly.
Across the bunk bed across the too small gap creaked horribly while Miyoung turned around in her sleep, the soft white glow of Yoonseo's phone throwing a ghostly glow that turned her little piggy sleeping mask into a seriously sinister hog.
Yoonseo shuddered and pulled the blanket over her head. No need to deal with the horrors conjured by low lighting and she didn't want to wake anyone either.
She pulled up DkInside again, scrolling down the comments and making notes.
Mosu Mosu Mosu, looks like she was becoming the next Jihoon with her winks. She was super cute but also looked like she could handle herself in girl crush concepts, she should be top priority.
There was a lot of chatter about Choi Bitna too, but that was to be expected as a returning candidate after that amazing stint of UPS. Yoonseo had seen some of her performances and the girl could slay! Definitely top priority too. What would her season ½ equivalent be? Keeping-it-in-the-family Somi?
There was surprisingly little on Paradise, Yoonseo thought they would definitely end up on her list but maybe they had fewer fans left than she’d thought. She also saw some rumours about their company not even having an office building anymore, yikes, poor things. Not quite either Nu’Est or DIA. Off her list with them.
Midori though. No there was a buzzworthy girl, and so pretty too! She didn’t think she had anyone to compare her to as a debuted foreigner but she was definitely Korea’s type… well she would be if she weren’t Japanese. Crap, would that halt her popularity? Maybe she wouldn’t bring many votes in during the battle because she’s Japanese and Yoonseo knew how Koreans could be. It’s dumb if anyone was asking her, it wasn’t like most of the Japanese oppressors and Korean oppressed weren’t dead by now, but there were more things Yoonseo had an opinion on if she were asked, add it to the pile. But maybe Midori shouldn’t be on the list…
Pledis was a given. There were already some comments about how pretty Siryung and Kayeon were, though Yoonseo wasn’t a fan of Kayeon. Not after she’d been a terrible leader in team C, she’d probably end up derailing the whole group to her needs or something, no thanks. Siryung seemed nice though, she was definitely on the list right under Mosu. This season’s Chaeyoung? Time would tell but she was certainly pretty enough for it (and lacking the vocal department, but that wasn’t something she couldn’t work with).
How about Moonae? There were quite a few comments about her due to Eclipse (which was ing let’s be real) and she was quite pretty herself. Not a Siryung but visual and experienced enough to enrich a team. They needed vocalists too, after all, otherwise no matter how popular or pretty they’d still fail. Well, actually, probably not during the battle round but definitely in the eyes of netizens. Moonae was a good safe bet.
What about Park Dain? It seemed she was one of the pretty As that caught the netizens eyes, and how could they not standing right behind Gaeul, and as someone who went from F to A she was bound to get a lot of screentime.
Otherwise most comments were Lexi this (a good enough pick but her skills were too similar to Yoonseo’s for her own liking, only one dancing queen per group please, though she should consider one of the other Brand New girls, they were obviously meant to be the new Brand New boys), Yeeun that (ew, no thanks. Way too controversial), and some stragglers here and there, nobody super noteworthy yet, but Yoonseo had a list now. She had a plan, should she be allowed to put it into motion. She wondered which chthonic god she had to sell her soul to if she wanted to be allowed to pick. Were they going to do it like season 1 where all the A’s got a team each or would it be a lottery like in season 2? Did she have that magpie charm had grandma had given her lying around somewhere? She made a note to look for it before they left for filming.
Yoonseo turned around to look at the sleeping figure of Xiaoyu, their bunks were pushed against each other and Yoonseo had moved her pillow to border Soyu’s very quickly when she wondered into this mess of a life 3 years ago, much easier to whisper to each other until Sungsook started sleepily slurring threats of bodily harm. Now Xiaoyu was fast asleep, hair strewn over her pillow, a little bit of drool pooling on her pillow. Behold: the sleeping beauty.
Yoonseo really hoped Xiaoyu or Miyoung or Jaeeun wouldn’t be hurt that she wouldn’t pick them if she had the chance. They had to understand that it would be best if only one of the FNC girls got into this group, right? Unless they wanted to wait around for two and a half years, there’d be more chance FNC would just debut 6 members than anything less. If she was gonna make an all-star team, it’d be much better for all of them if it wouldn’t have another FNC girl in it, truly.
, she should probably sleep… But she hadn’t even seen anyone comment about herself yet! How would she know which part of the Produce spectrum she embodied if nobody noticed her.
Oh no. What if she was Kang Kyungwon the Pledis girl nobody cared about??
She had to stand out. She had to. She couldn’t become a nobody, an extra, a Yeji. She didn’t come here to be just another supporting character to hold up whoever Mnet had decided was the main cast, she was the main cast!
Come on Yoonseo, you’ve watched too much Produce 101 not to be able to game the system.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow she would be great. She would be dazzling. She would be extra as hell. Anything for screen time.
Anything.
It hadn’t taken the group long at all to divide the lines and that was probably what bothered Hwari the most. Sungsook was amazing. She sang so effortlessly and with so much style, of course she was the no brainer for the main vocal position, Hwari couldn’t compare with her basic voice. Sure, she was a good singer, but Sungsook has such amazing effortless style. It didn’t help that they hadn’t given her much time to prepare either, how was she supposed to show exactly what she was capable of when she couldn’t practice the exact right intonation beforehand?
She wasn’t mad. She agreed with their decision herself and she’d learned some time ago that comparing herself to others wasn’t healthy for her, but how was she supposed to show Cube that she was worthy of a debut if she wasn’t able to get the best out of herself? She already let herself down during the Pick Me evaluations, now she was letting herself down again! It felt like she just kept being passed up. She didn’t make it into (G)I-DLE, didn’t get to stand on stage at all for Pick Me, and now she wouldn’t get to show what she could do.
It .
She had one chance. Just one. One season to show what she was capable of, to show that she deserved to be here, and she kept bungling things up. It was driving her crazy not knowing what her rank would be too, it was two weeks until the show started airing and she was so anxious to know. What if nobody voted for her? What if she got no screen time at all and nobody knew how much she was trying? What if she did get screen time and people still didn’t care?
Taeri dropped next to her. “Hey are you okay?”
“Yeah!” Hwari squeaked a little too fast. “I mean yeah, I’m memorizing my lines, shouldn’t you be learning how to rap with unnie?” There, smooth recovery.
“Oh, Hyowon desperately needed a break from my stumbling,” Taeri laughed. “She forced me to stop for now. I think we’re getting somewhere though! I might turn into a bona fide MC yet!”
Hwari giggled. “Don’t let unnie hear you, she grumbled at the suggestion you could just learn to rap in a day.”
Taeri winked. “Then it’ll just have to be our little secret, right?” She said something in English that Hwari thought had the word for pink in it but her English really wasn’t super good and held out a lock of her own pink dyed hair.
Hwari lifted some of her own and touched it to Taeri’s. “What did you just say unnie?”
“It’s like a promise,” Taeri said with a cheeky little smile. “Of the most solemn kind.”
“What is that necklace?” Hwari asked. “You wore it during the Naekkoya practice too, right?”
“Oh,” Taeri looked down at the necklace. It looked to Hwari like a dull piece of glass on a string, not really something that looked valuable or like coveted jewelry, but she’d seen the girl fidgeting with the pendant like it was the most treasured thing in the world. As if on cue, Taeri reached out and traced a dull edge of the pendant. “It’s a piece of seaglass I found on a beach in Samoa, do you know that seaglass is?”
Hwari shook her head. It looked like normal old glass to her, but then again she’d never even left Korea before. She hardly ever left Seoul except for visiting her grandparents in the countryside for the holidays, honestly. Maybe the glass in Samoa was different and special?
“It’s glass that fell into the sea,” Taeri explained. “The current smoothed all of its edges and it ends up all smooth like this.” She pulled the necklace up over her head and handed it to to Hwari.
“Wow,” she gasped as she felt how smooth the glass was, like it had never had any edges before. She held it up against the light and saw how it filtered through the dull frosting. It was nicer than she’d thought. “Is there a lot of this seaglass?”
“Oh yes, you can find some on most beaches, things will fall into the sea from ships or sometimes people throw things in and the sea will deposit it somewhere entirely different!,The only real value it has is sentimental. I found it and made it myself, I thought it was very nice and it reminds me of how everything is connected via the seas. You can stand on the beach in Busan and someone else can stand on the beach in Ireland and there’s still something that connects you.” She was looking into the distance with a smile and Hwari waited patiently for her to stop reminiscing about whatever it was she was thinking of. “Oh,” Taeri snapped out of it. “Sorry, I was lost in thought for a bit.”
“It’s okay.” Hwari eyed the pendant again. She’d only seen the sea a handful of times and it scared her a little with how unpredictable it could be, but there was also something mysterious about the unknown mixed in as well. She could see how it attracted people but she much preferred her own feet on solid ground. “I’ve never left Korea but I’d like to sometime, to see somewhere different.”
“You should!” Taeri said immediately. “I can alway recommend travel to broaden your horizons, it can be fascinating to see how others live their lives. My dad is a nature photographer who dragged mom and me all over the world. I think I’ve been on every continent once! But I also kinda missed having roots, you know? I think it’d be nice to have somewhere permanent too.”
“If you make it into the group you’d have both, right? Idols travel a lot for concerts and events but also stay in Seoul a lot cause it’s… well it’s Seoul!” The best city in the world, the kingpiece of entertainment. Nothing was better than Seoul, Hwari was sure of it. She hadn’t seen much more of the world but it couldn’t be better than Seoul, everything important happened here. Everything important to her, in any case.
Taeri smiled. “I do think you’re right, miss Hwari. Let’s both debut and then we can see the world and the city in equal measure.”
Hwari beamed. “Yes!” She would debut and see the world, she would! And why wouldn’t she? She was a great singer and she was pretty and she thought she was pretty cute (she’d memorized Gwiyomi in any case) so why wouldn’t she debut. “We will!” She held out a lock of her hair again. “What did you just say?”
Hwari laughed and touched her hair to Hwari’s. “Pinky promise!”
The first thing Girim saw when she entered their designated practice room was the rudimentary beam or pipe or shower curtain or whatever that thing was.
They were really doing Hush.
Girim thought the song was cool enough, though she wasn’t a huge fan of Miss A, she was more a chill listens or shameless pop kinda girl but it wasn’t a bad song. It was just… very very y. Girim could appreciate y, oh how she could, but be y?? That was something else entirely. She’d figure it out… somehow.
Beside her Yemi, the modelesque girl she only really knew as one of the girls who came with the much more gossip-worthy Yeeun, took in a sharp breath. “Look at that thing!” there was awe in her voice that Girim could easily identify with, and an impish grin on her face.
The little bit of colour left on Sojin's carefully lightened skin drained. “I don't know if I can do this.”
Yemi raises her eyebrows. “What do you mean? What's wrong with it?”
“It's so y!” Sojin said. “I've never done y before and I didn't even want to! That's horrible, we're just dancing to he ogled! Why couldn't you just go for Wee Woo like we'd planned? Or Apink or Gfriend. Something proper.”
“There was a host if competition for Wee Woo,” Yemi said with a roll of her eyes. “I told you I made a split second decision and if I hadn't we could have been going up against Gaeul and you'd be gyrating your hips a lot more horribly than you are now so a thank you is in order.”
“I'm not going to thank you, what are my parents going to think?!”
“That they have a very y daughter?”
“If you think about it,” Girim interjected. “A cute concept is just inviting ogling just as much, it just pretends not to. At least a y concept is honest.” She shrugged. Not that she blamed Sojin for not being into it, it ucks that she had to perform something she wasn’t comfortable with. Oops maybe she shouldn’t have burst the bubble, the last remaining colour had drained from the girl’s face, sweet thing.
Sojin would probably get on well with Captain Meowzier, she was so elegant and high class and the cat was so selective in who was allowed to cuddle him. Something told her Sojin was just his type. She made a note to invite the girl to the cat cafe sometime.
She wondered how Yona was faring. Wondered, too, if it had been a good idea to get Yemi to pick her team in the end. She hadn’t really thought about song choice as much as being close enough to keep an eye on her, at least she didn’t end up having to do Hush. Those cute dimples ought to be used in as cute a song as possible! Oh man she’d kind of bungled that one up hadn’t she?
Aaah this whole thing was so exhausting! There were hundreds of things to consider. Be interesting for the camera, be pretty and screen ready, cheer fearful team member one, calm feisty team member two, make sure to involve quiet team member three, keep Yona safe, oh right and learn a whole dance and song even though she wasn't very good.
They so weren't feeding her enough to not go full k.o from this monster boss battle.
“Eh-” the quiet little Chaewon spoke up. Girim had to admit she's forgotten the girl was there. Bad Girim, do better next time. “We should probably practice now that we have the stand.”
“Right!” Yemi clapped her hands. “Look, if I have to be here then at least I want to do it on my terms. We’re all hot as hell, we’re not gonna have any troubles looking hot on stage too. Let’s get this thing rolling!” By which she meant: Chaewon teach us the dance.
And thus the next set of practices and sleepless nights would start. A yawn escaped Girim at the thought. Oh how she missed her bed already.
~*~
“You don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know me. So shut off boy. So shut off boy. So shut off boy. So shut off shut off shut off-”
They'd had exactly 10 minutes of warning before they were shuffled into the other team's practice room and Bae Yoonjung appeared in the doorway like Darth Vader. Girim had hummed the Imperial March until Yemi had given her a sharp elbow in the rib. Before they knew it they had been called up to show their stuff and now the other team was dancing.
They? Oh they had gotten an earful of course, but Girim had expected as much so no biggie there. Their practice had been… somewhat of a disaster no matter how hard Chaewon tried. Sojin still half assed all her body rolls and Yemi and Girim still couldn't remember all of the steps. As soon as the apologetic intern had told them to get ready for evaluation Girim had known they were doomed.
Ah well, a bad practice created drama right? At least there's be screentime, and with some luck it's be a damned to decent kind of story, though with how bad the other team was performing Mnet would have ample choice for such narratives.
Come on Yona you can do it!! No that's the wrong way- sweetie stop glancing at the girl next to you oh no-
The whole team was as much of a mess as Girim’s was but she got no satisfaction out of it. Poor Yona! If only Girim had been chosen to pick a team… Yona looked so defeated by the time the final notes filled the room, tears filling her eyes and breaking Girim's heart into a million pieces. Girim wanted to race to her and hug her and tell her it was going to be alright.
It was hard to concentrate on the trainer's words, something about a Center? Girim was far too busy trying to one eye contact with Yona and sending smiles and silly expressions. It helped a little bit until Yona almost giggled and Yoonjung sent her a sharp look. Oops. The Imperial March danced on her tongue again but Girim had probably tested the Imperial Overlord enough for one day.
“You both have a lot of practicing to do before you're ready.” Girim's attention snapped back when Yoonjung turned to address them as well. “Work hard, I don't need to tell you that the performance you put down might just determine your future.”
“Yes, sungsaengnim,” it echoed in the room. Girim couldn't help but be a little sceptic though, Mnet would decide their future through narrative and screen time. She didn't think the actual performance could do much without exposure. She hoped MLD was big enough to warrant at least some of it. Maybe they could trade JooE for some screentime? Now there was a girl who was like the most hyperactive of cats, bless her soul.
Then with some words Girim had missed as well (double oops), the fearsome trainer left the room and Girim instantly ran to her and pulled her into the hallway. “Are you okay? Are you doing well? Is your team good?”
Yona glanced at the others. “I'm okay I think,” she said. “It went better in practice before, it was just when she looked at us…:
Girim nodded. She'd feared as much. Yona wasn't the best trainee, but she could keep up except when there were judging eyes upon her. Girim grasped her hands and noticed they were still shaking a little. “I'm here when you need me, just call, okay?”
“What about your own group?”
“Oh them,” Girim waved her concerns away. “We're fine, you're more important to me. Are they treating you well?”
Yona laughed softly and Girim heart swelled. If Yona was a princess, Girim would slay all manners of dragons for her, though only if she had to. Dragons might be reasonable, and what better way to get a lady out of a tower than a friend with wings? “Kayeon unnie reminds me a little of Jinsil unnie. If I can weather one then I can weather the other. It's kind of nice to have a leader who has it all figured out, anyway. I don't think I should be making decisions, I don't know enough about the idol things yet.”
Girim nodded. “I'll check in every once in a while, okay? Make sure you're okay.”
Yona nodded. “I'd like that, unnie.”
Ah, the u-word, Girim was filled with so many uwus her special meter was filled to the brim! She hugged Yona tight. “We stick together like we always have, okay?”
Yona nodded. “Okay!”
Girim watched her go back to the practice room. Yona was their only hope and she would do anything to protect her. Well, Jinsil might impress with her skills but she wasn't very good at being likeable, and Girim knew she wasn't made of the idol stuff herself. She'd fight for the stage, she's give it her all, and she'd love every second of it, but she had no illusions of her own skill. She was just your normal girl, made for managing cat cafes and getting distracted by how cute the cats are half the time. Made of lying in bed and viewing the stage over and over to squee at an oppa's smile, not for standing on it.
Not that she'd ever admit it aloud, that would ruin the pretence! She had to pretend that she wasn't a fake, that she wasn't just another backup in a sea of girls of which only a few would make it, while Mnet pretended it cared about every 99 of them equally, and the viewers pretended they weren't swayed by Mnets wishes on who they voted for. It was a dance, all of it, but Yona was the real deal and if anything was to come of this, Girim would make sure it was Yona's success. She owed it to those dimples.
Now it was time to try and figure out how y works. She owed it to her many many many rewatches of Monsta X's Mirotic performance to give it a good shot. One giveth and one taketh, or something like that.
“Break, please!” Mochou dropped to the floor dramatic and made the timeout sign.
“Again?” Bitna stops mid-dance to stare at her.
“It’s two hours since our last break!” Mochou argued. What kind of practice demon was this?? Even at Starship they took water breaks every hour at the very least if the managers weren’t around to grief them for it.
“It has to be perfect,” Bitna said, impatience creeping into her voice. “In order for us to be perfect we need practice.”
“Right now I need some water.” She reach out across the floor to the water bottle (sponsored by Icis, the water not the terrorists).
Bitna looks desperately at the others but Jaeeun already has a bottle in hand and Seoyun joins Mochou too. Yuna looks apologetic. “We’ll practice extra hard after a small break,” she says and joins them.
Midori follows too, looking a little confused but Mochou guessed she figured the break thing out. Mochou tossed her a water bottle that the Japanese girl only barely managed to catch and she uttered an accented “kamsa”. Was she older than Mochou? Probably, didn’t she have a whole career behind her?
Mochou leaned back and enjoyed the water. It wasn’t strawberry milk but beggars couldn’t be choosers and right now she was beggin’. She didn’t get why Bitna was so gung-ho about practicing the entire time, it wasn’t like U Go Girl was that hard and they’d gotten nothing but compliments from Yikwang before. The X-Men were on their way to overwhelming success! And their opponents were… well… yikes. Someone didn’t think very hard about picking only visuals.
She was pretty happy with the group she’d snatched, aside from the fact that Bitna had less chill than Michou had initially thought (she was a cool rapper!! Why didn’t she act like a chill cool rapper?? She was nice enough just… intense about things). Yuna was a good singer even if there was something a little sad about her. Maybe not sad, more like melancholy, like she expected this whole thing to collapse any moment. Seoyun was great because she’s Seoyun, ‘nuff said. Jaeeun was pretty chill and gorgeous to boot and… Midori was… well….
The Japanese girl kept up quite well to her credit, not that U Go Girl was the nation’s most difficult performance. When they weren’t dancing, Midori would just kneel on the floor and smile if anyone looked her way, it was unnerving, like she was some polite doll. Friendly and pretty but lifeless. Midori caught her staring and smiled. Mochou shuddered.
She rolled onto her back and looked up at the lights. She was so tired but so energetic, it was a weird combination of sleeplessness and excitement but also repetitiveness. At least she wasn’t also hungry, Mnet fed them much better than Starship did (aka: not at all, get your own food at the convenience store, but woe is you if you weigh a kilo more than you did before). She felt what she was sure was Seoyun gathering her ridiculously wavy hair up and starting a loose braid. “How do you think the other are doing?” she asked.
“Haeun and Sooyoung will be fine,” Seoyun said, braiding away. Mochou closed her eyes and just let herself enjoy the feeling. “I’m most worried about Chaewon, I hope her team is supportive of her and she won’t stay in the background.”
Mochou nodded. It’s why she hadn’t picked Chaewon for her team. She loved the girl, but in a group like this she’d sink right to the background. Mochou really didn’t understand her, she had such good skills but she still ended up with no charisma at all. Maybe in her smaller group she would do better. “I don’t know about Haeun, did you see they were doing Twice? She’s probably short-circuiting just thinking about acting cute.”
Seoyun laughed and gave her a little slap. “Don’t say such things!”
“But you’re laughing!”
“I’m an awful example.”
They chatted some more with Yuna and Jaeeun joining too while Midori just sat by patiently and drank water like the beautiful robot she was. Bitna, meanwhile, stayed a bit apart of the group, staring into space, only occasionally chugging some of her water.
Mochou didn’t really understand Bitna. She was nice enough and a good leader but at the same time she was withdrawn and standoffish. She’d tried to involve Bitna before but she seemed to have no interest in any of them aside from what they could bring to the performance. No fun at all. She got that this was a competition but it felt real unfair to Mochou to cut them out like that, they all wanted to win but that didn’t mean that they weren’t also people.
As if Bitna knew she was thinking of her, she abruptly stood up. “That’s enough of a break! Let’s keep going.”
Mochou sighed, she knew she wasn’t going to get any more concessions. “Fiiine.” She got up and stretched, feeling her new braid sway against her back.
“We’re going to be amazing,” Seoyun said. “Remember that time we had to perform Dope for the evaluations to test our dancing skills and we practiced for hours every day to get it right?”
“I was ready to never listen to BTS ever again,” Mochou laughed. It had been horrible.
“But the result was amazing wasn’t it? After all that practice even Sooyoung managed it! We’re gonna look amazing again, we’re going to wow everyone watching us, and we have to.”
Mochou nodded. “It’ll be worth it.” She paused. “I think I might want to try rapping next round, or maybe I’ll join dancing and surprise everyone.”
“Let’s see if you make it into the next round first,” Bitna said with smile Mochou couldn’t quite place. Was she laughing with her or at her? “Come on, places!” She motioned to Midori who dutifully got to her start position. “You ready? Three… two… one…”
Dohee was not having a good time. She sat in the corner of the practice room, legs drawn up, watching as the group argued her fate. Shin Kayeon sat in the other corner, even more surly than Dohee was but with her head held high. Did that head ever lower? Dohee had hardly seen anyone with as much pride as the Pledis girl but not the actual talent to back it up. Sure, she was pretty, but what other reason did she have to have a head that big?
She sighed and leaned her chin on her knees. She hadn’t want any of this. Well, it wasn’t like she’d had any kind of choice about positions and what not thanks to their fearless tyrant, but she’d much rather have fought for her position fair and square. Was she glad that she hadn’t been saddled with subvocal 4? Of course, but why did it have to be like this? She was already in a group where she didn’t know or like anyone and now she was getting pointed out by teachers? She wanted spotlight and attention, she wanted to show what she was capable of, but she also wanted to melt into the ground and stop existing.
Why hadn’t anyone picked her before Kayeon did? It felt like a group of rejects. She got why Kayeon hadn’t gotten picked, she didn’t think anyone really liked the girl, not even her labelmate Siryung. She got why nobody had picked Pattita or Yeji either, they left no impact at all, and Yona was an F so fair enough, but why her? She was a B, she knew she was pretty enough even if she wasn’t a straight up visual, so why was she passed over? Oh what she would give to have been allowed to pick, to have Seulgi and Jisun by her side again.
One of the girls got up and got her way and Dohee quickly sat up straight. It wouldn’t do to show that she was nervous. She pushed her own chin up, too. Perfect confidence. “Hi unnie,” Yona said down with a sweet smile. It really was a shame the girl hadn’t gotten an Apink or IOI song, that smile and those dimples would carry her far even if her own lack of skill wouldn’t. “They’re still talking it out but you’ll probably get it.”
Dohee forced a smile. Yona was the least of evils in the group, at least she was nice and did her bet even if she had her faults, too. What was she supposed to respond to this? “Are they almost decided?” she asked. A neutral question should be fine, right? She wished so much that Seulgi or Jisun were here, with them she didn’t have to wrack her brain to try and find something to say.
Yona nodded. “I think they’re a little hesitant because you’re already main vocal and that means there’s a lot that’s on your shoulders.”
Huh, surprisingly honest. “That’s… fair.” An awkward silence stretched. “I won’t let you down,” Dohee decided to say. “If you give me this responsibility I will practice until it is perfect.”
Yona noded. “I thought as much- eh I mean you strike me as that kind of person, you know?” Another silence as Dohee wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that comment. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Did it matter? “That’s why I voted for you for sure!” Yona smiled at her and she had the face. The face of the young trainees before the industry would slap some sense into them. Jisun still had that face sometimes. Dohee found herself involuntarily smiling back.
“Okay!” Yeji got up in the center of the room. “Dohee gets center, sorry unnie.”
Kayeon nodded and got up slowly like a lumbering beast. Dohee scrambled up to and met her in the middle of the room. The tension was tangible. “Congratulations,” Kayeon said with a smile that surely was fake, handing the Center sticker over. Dohee knew that much after spending only two days with her.
“Thank you,” Dohee said with a fake smile of her own and stuck it on her shirt. “Sorry about all of this” Yeah, right. She’d be sorry if it had been anyone but Kayeon. That’s what you get for giving yourself Center without earning it.
Well, it was really all or nothing now. Either Dohee would raise her group up or she would ruin everything. It should frighten her, it should feel like an immense pressure, but Dohee just felt lighter than before. She could do this, she’d trained years for this. It was time to show that she wasn’t lagging behind her brothers. She was going to shine if her life depended on it.
“I am going to kill her!” Lexi angrily shoved a handful of sweet potato crisps into .
“I thought you didn't want to be a leader?” Juyeon was laying on her bed with her head in Lexi’s lap while Lexi sat in the very corner of the bottom bunk out of sight of the camera to munch on her forbidding snacks. God knew she needed it, though her blood pressure was high enough these days without the extra salt.
“I don't want to be leader,” Lexi said. “But she's doing it all wrong!”
Juyeon glanced at Chaerin who rolled her eyes. “Leader-nim,” Chaerin said, lazing at the foot of the bed. “If you don't want to be a leader than stop leading.”
“I'm not leading!” Lexi snapped. “I'm just trying to salvage the situation! They all made Gaeul leader because she's from SM or whatever but she doesn't know what she's doing and it's a mess. Poor Areum is dancing even worse than usual because Gaeul is just no help at all!”
“I thought she was a pretty good dancer?” Juyeon asked. “She's in A after all and her audition was impressive.”
Lexi snorted. “Maybe with enough help or a team of fancy SM trainers to support her. We all know that audition was perfectly crafted to show her in the best light possible. We had to do everything on our own, hell I choreographed our dance myself, and that's not even talking about the girls of smaller companies who probably have even less support.” Juyeon opened wide and Lexi fed her a crisp as commanded.
Chaerin shrugged. “We would have succeeded even without Brand New Music’s help,” she said. “The four of us? We have everything. With your dancing unnie’s singing, my rapping, and Areum's looks? Nobody would stand a chance.”
Lexi nodded. “That's my point though, that's all us. And we weren't even allowed to perform your original song.” She pitched her voice low to mimic Rhymer. ‘We're gonna let the boys swoop in with a super cool self composed and choreographed song, nevermind that Lexi totally did half the choreographing work with Woojin but what is credit, but yours isn't good enough just do a cover.’ If anything we were hindered by them.”
“Is that what made you so angry?” Juyeon asked.
“No, well not specifically now. She's ruining our song and I'm going to look bad because she's taking on more than she can chew and doing a poor job of it.” Lexi crossed her arms. “It's unfair. And now she's main vocal too but I just know she's going to mess that up too. Center means nothing if we do a piss poor job of it.” She sighed. “How are you doing with the rap chicks, Chae?”
Chaerin grunted. “I thought I’d for sure grabbed at least one other rapper but all of them ended up vocalists. I’m training Hyemi, the Urban Works girl, to rap a bit and she’s doing okay.”
“What is Urban Works even?” Juyeon asked. “I haven’t heard of them before but they came in here with an army of girls.”
“Bad move if you ask me,” Lexi said. “Should’ve sent the best. Glad this girl is at least doing okay.” She dug deep in the crisps bag to dig out the final one. Aaah, all good things must come to and end.
“At least my group is doing well,” Juyeon said. “All of us can dance well and Dain in a sweetheart.”
“Aren’t you all A’s?” Chaerin asked.
“There’s one other B, the Pledis girl.”
“Ugh,that’s so unfair!” Chaerin let herself drop down from the bed onto the floor. “I wish they’d done it like season 1 and given each A a group.”
“That would be much too fair!” Juyeon gasped. “We can’t have that now can we?”
Lexi scrunched the empty crisp packet up into a ball. “We should get back to practice, we have to show the viewers why the Brand New Girls are a force to be reckoned with. They must know what debut to look forward to most.”
Chaerin grinned. “None will compare.”
“For sure,” Juyeon added. “How is Areum faring?”
“She’s struggling.” The dance wasn’t difficult, it was quite simple even, but it had to be performed very precise and Areum was always messy when it came to dancing. When it came to anything, really, she was very much a pretty face. Combine that with that Youri girl’s constant side-tracking and the Japanese girl’s inherent difficulties and Gaeul’s infuriating everything and allmother stand with her, she was going to need it.
Juyeon gave her shoulder a pat. “I’m sure you’ll end up giving an incredible performance anyway. You’re Lexi Park, the Lexi Park. I’ve known you for years and if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s Lexi Park thrives under duress.”
Lexi smiled. “Only one way to find out.”
don't forget that you can vote once per day here and i hope you liked this chapter! no more rankings though, elminations are coming up soon!
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