“Alright, I’m just going to come right out and ask it then. Be honest with me, from one girl to another….Are you in love with Chanyeol?”

Judging from her clear, unblinking gaze as she patiently waits for my answer, it seems that I only have two options.

“Yes, I am in love with him. I’m so sorry. I know it hearing that from your fiance's best friend. Trust me when I say that I’ve tried everything in my power to make all the feelings go away because it hasn’t exactly been easy and painless for me. No one wants to be in love with a man who only sees them as a best friend, especially when he’s found his dream girl who he’s going to live happily ever after with.”

“Wendy, I - ”

“I’m sorry. I’m a rambling mess. I shouldn't have said all of that. I can't believe I’m complaining to you about how difficult it is to be in love with same man you’re engaged with...Have I already said that I’m sorry?”

“Look I won’t lie, it’s not a great feeling to know that the woman who lives with and has had a much longer history with your fiance is in love with him. And if I’m right, has been in love with him for a while now. Actually, it really now that I say it out loud.”

It was one thing to know that it was inherently wrong to be in love with a taken man. It was another thing to see the pain and conflict flit across the eyes of his woman. All these years of feeling sorry for myself as I pined and mooned over my best friend, I had always managed to push the nagging voice in my head that always asked “What about her? His girlfriend?” It wasn’t so easy to shut that voice up now that I was face to face with Joohyun and the evidence of the pain that I was inflicting because I couldn’t seem to detach myself from Chanyeol...

“Joohyun I don’t know how much it would mean to you or if you would even believe or trust me, but I have never tried to act on my feelings ever since he told me about meeting his dream girl on your blind date 2 years ago. Regardless of what I felt and my history with Chanyeol, I would’ve never done that to you or him. We may not be close, and I don’t think we are ever gonna be super close because it’s just too weird - I mean, this whole conversation seems like it’s out of some twisted dream - but I would never want to intentionally hurt you or damage what you guys had. From the bottom of my heart...I am so sorry.”

“Wendy, you really don’t have to apologise. Some people might say I’m being gullible or naive or I’m just plain stupid but I believe you. I won’t sugarcoat it it, I’ve been upset, angry and I’ve even considered giving Chanyeol the ty ultimatum of ‘me or her’. But you’re important to him and I couldn’t try to cut you out even if I tried. Wow, that sounded better in my head. It makes me sound like I’m this super possessive psycho-girlfriend but that’s what happens when you feel those ugly emotions of jealousy.”

“Seeing as we’re here in the spirit of being honest, I have to say that I wasn’t really expecting this. I fully expected some shouting and maybe a drink in my face, well that’s according to Hollywood and all of the TV shows and dramas I’ve watched. I don’t know how much reassurance that will give you, but I’d say that’s a big sign of you not being some super possessive psycho-girlfriend.”

“Thanks Wendy. Though I do admit that this isn’t the most normal conversation, I’m glad that we’ve managed to clear the air. If circumstances were different, I think we could’ve been good friends.”

In the few minutes of our first real interaction, it was pretty obvious why Chanyeol had fallen in love with a girl as great as Joohyun. It took a special kind of person to completely change feelings of jealousy and envy into the beginning of a friendship, albeit one that will probably be awkward and inherently weird between a guy’s fiancee and his secretly-in-love-with-him best friend. Over the past years of their relationship, it was easy to label Joohyun as just ‘Chanyeol’s next girlfriend’ but the truth has a way of ripping the wool in front of your eyes. It opens you up to all the lies you have told yourself so it wouldn't hurt too much….

“Thanks Joohyun, it means a lot to hear that coming from you. Despite the fact that my question might makes this whole thing seem even stranger, I have to ask...How long have you known about all of this and why did you keep it to yourself for this long? ‘Cause that’s the only thing I haven’t managed to figure out and I’m willing to bet that in your answer is the reason as to how calmly you are taking this. Why aren’t you angrier? You’re well within your rights to engage in some hair-pulling and even some slaps to the face.”

“I guess the reason why I’m not lashing out is ‘cause I’ve had a long time to think it over and reason with myself. When I first had my inkling that things might not be strictly platonic between you guys, I was ready to come out all guns blazing to confront you but then I overheard your conversation with Chanyeol. We were only a month in our relationship when he introduced us together, his girlfriend and his best friend. He clearly cares a lot about what you think and you held the power to end it all between us. I was readying myself for the barrage of complaints or criticisms that would’