the sunlight filtering through your blinds wake you up just a few moments ago, and you are still registering everything that is in your sight and on your touch. the immense relief you feel once you are sure, sure that it is her lying next to you, that she is there, is something you can't exactly fathom.

the weather is still chilly especially when it is early in the morning like this, but that does not entirely matter to you now. not when you have your hands wrapped up around her tightly like this, both of you cuddled up close under your blanket on your bed. your heart beats in a calmer rhythm, and you could feel the relieved huff of breath leaving your nose.

the effect she has on you now... you never thought it would be like this.

you are content to stay under the blanket for a while longer, your jaw resting on her chest, and you are looking up slightly just to look at her.

she looks so much better.

granted it has been months since she was injured, but it is still rather unsettling that the last time you saw her she was still deathly pale.

(you still couldn't quite believe you managed to figure out the mess of a riddle you have in your mind that she left behind without her next to you)

now, she has that healthy tan back on her skin, the melanin is beautiful as always on her, a great wonder that you think you will cherish for as long as you breathe. you don't ever want to see her that ghastly ever. you are certain that you will give up the world just so she would not get hurt again.

though, as it is, you don't think that is possible.

you have come to an understanding of her true profession. just the surface of it, perhaps, but it is enough to tell you that she will expose herself to danger again. or, more accurately, she must throw herself to danger if that would mean she could save the person she is protecting.

a mobster.

you are deeply in love with a mobster.

a legal mobster.

your eyebrows scrunch together at that idea.

despite how odd it is, it sure explains some things.

like how she has the habit of sitting at a table against the wall at any eateries you've been to, a position that would give her a full view of the premise. or how she would turn her heads around and scanning a place fully when you enter it, presumably to make sure it is secure, or to make note of where the exits are. it never really bothered you of course, you think it is just a harmless habit of hers, that she is a bit too particular. there is even a category of behavioral disorder for it. but now you understand that it is so much more than that. she has been on guard all the time she was with you.

you think it started from the time your purse got snatched. you could only wonder what exactly she told the delinquent when she got your purse back then, but you could make a fair guess now. not to forget, the first time she brought you home, she fought all those men trying to harass you. and that physical strength that you have no idea where it came from when she defended you in the emergency room...

it all makes sense. somewhat.

you have done your research on the kim group during seulgi's disappearance, and as expected, nothing of their involvement with the underground world can be found in a simple naver search. of course, what does come up from the search is multiple results showing just how wealthy the family conglomerate really is. they operate the biggest security firm in south korea, providing high end security with the latest technology in the market to government and corporate buildings, as well as the wealthiest neighbourhoods. they also have the largest fleet of armoured cars and certified security personnels for the national treasury and banks.

and as a private military company, the kim group also works together often with the police and army whenever they are so needed. most of the time though, the agents are fielded as personal bodyguards to influential people - politicians, the richest of riches, and even the forgotten, but still existing royal family. while that rounds up most of their revenues, they are also racking up big money from their multiple chains of restaurants, ranging from highly successful fast food franchises to fine dining restaurants. then there's a panel of private clinics and last and not least, the hospital you are currently working in.

...just what have you gotten yourself into?

your train of thought is interrupted by her sleepy voice.

"i can hear you thinking."

her hands retreat from holding you around your shoulders, just to look at you better, and you do the same, pulling your hands away from her hips and moving up slightly. "do you hear gears clicking to place?"

she laughs, placing a kiss on the crown of your hair. "you mumble under your breath when you think too much."

you blush a little at the contact. "really?"

"really. you don't realise it when you do so, huh?"

"no," you proceed to shake your head. "i must be in too deep a thought."

"must be. it's quite cute though," she says, though her tone changes to one of teasing shortly after. "you were holding me pretty tightly."

"because the last time i didn't keep a hold of you, you left me."

that seems to reduce her to silence, and you mentally curses yourself for being a bit too harsh. you could see her after all that time spent apart, and she has already apologised to you. you wish your lips do not move as quickly as this. you berate your own mind for being unkind. 'think of better, softer words!'

"you can take your time with it," she murmurs after a bit of quiet, moving to disentangle her limbs from yours, and you quickly gaze at her, your heart beating restlessly, you're afraid. she gives you a weak smile when she gets to her feet. "i know forgiveness does not come easy."

stunned, you don't chase after her when she leaves.

-----

the first thing yerim does when she sees you pretty much storming into her office is let out the longest sigh you have ever chanced to witness in your lifetime, followed by a groan. "ahhhh~ what is this... she's back to your side now, and the first thing you do is chase her away?"

"i-- that is not what i did! i did sleep with her!"

the wicked grin on yerim's face as she studies you makes you shudder. "oh? did you now? you seem to be walking fine."

the red on your cheeks probably cannot get any brighter than it is now. "not like that! we just sleep!"

"my disappointment with the two of you is..." she pauses to let out a very audible tsk. "...immeasurable right now, doc. you should have been going at it like rabbits after being apart for so long."

you wave your hands frantically, denying whatever it is yerim thinks of you and seulgi together. "we are not like that!"

"geez, and how long have you been together?"

"a- a little over six months now? we've known each other for more than a year..."

"and the lowest she's touched you?" yerim asks, unfazed even if it is turning far more personal for you.

"we've... we've kissed," then you hastily add. "on the lips!"

"which ones?"

you are getting more horrified. "the one that does the talking!"

yerim slumps down to her table, defeated. "oh god, you are both losers."

unsure of what to make this situation, you could only offer a confused apology. "i'm sorry?"

"not to me, you !" yerim yells as she rounds her desk, grabbing your arm and pulling you out of her office.

you keep your amazement to yourself, but it is hard not to gape as yerim takes you further into the sophisticated building, going down several floors from the top floor where her office that you barge into without any appointment is located, and the elevator stops at the tenth floor with a cheery 'ding!'. you were in such a hurry earlier you could not be bothered to look around... so this is what it looks like inside one of korea's richest companies, the ceiling is tall, the walls are wide, and it is... loud?

"here, you'd need this." yerim hands you something.

you take it, still clueless what it is for. an ear muff?

yerim is gesturing for you to put it on, so you do. she leads you to an enclosed area beyond a double door, just beside some counter that is manned by an employee, also wearing an ear muff, and your eyes widen when you enter the room.

it is a shooting range.

rounds and rounds of bullets are being shot, and even if your ears are covered, the sound of the gunshots still goes through without a problem. now you no longer wonder how people could possibly burst their eardrums shooting a firearm. you can't believe you've forgotten that kim group has an actual army under their belt. of course they would have an indoor training facility. you stand near the door, still in shock until yerim pulls you to a corner, tugging at your sleeve rather urgently. at one point, she pauses and points her hand towards an occupied firing lane. you know who is at the end of yerim's hand even without looking.

yerim then takes one of your muffs off, yelling at you over the volume of the gunshots. "you two need to talk it out! i'll chase away everyone else, so sort this out or i'll lock the two of ya in a tiny closet! you hear me?!"

"yes ma'am!" why are you calling her that? she is younger than you. you think you are drunk from the atmosphere.

(then again, she is, in a way, your employer, so you guess it is right to call her that)

(your head is a mess)

yerim treads away with large strides, seemingly satisfied with what she has done. you could hear her yelling at other shooters to scram, so you wait for all of them to leave. it does not take more than five minutes until the only lane occupied is hers.

her shooting is in a very controlled pace. there is a distinct pause between shots, and it remains the same as she exchanges to a new magazine, and her targets fly along the carriers. one, two, three, until her magazine is empty, and then she reloads again, only this time, she does not shoot. instead, she removes her own ear plugs, and looks around, very much aware with how sudden every other shooters stopped their sessions, trying to find the reasons why and leaving the targets flying closer to her. and then, she sees you.

her foxy eyes grow wide in a genuine surprise. she throws her ear plugs down and makes her way out of the shooting lane when you walk closer to it. she rushes to you and meets you halfway in a haste.

"i--" the both of you start.

you take a step back, a little caught off guard with how synchronised the two of you are.

she just chuckles, and you take that as a good sign. "you first."

"i'm sorry," you say, quick, but heartfelt. "i was being an idiot."

"yeah, you kind of were."

"i am still... sort of... upset." you gesture with your hands, waving in the empty air, unsure of how else to put your feelings out there.

"you have the right to be upset, i was gone for two months. i left you alone without even giving you a note, and made sure that i cannot be contacted the whole time i was gone... and you patiently waited for me. that's why i also want to say sorry. i guess you could say... we are both idiots here."

"yeah." you agree easily, igniting a joyous light hearted laughter from her, and there is no way you won't join her in it, thinking. 'how dare you make her sad when you love seeing her this happy.' and then her chin dimple makes an appearance as she grins, and your chest feels a tonne lighter.

"we make a pretty good pair, then."

"i am very much aware that you had your own reasons, and it might not even be my business to know what happened in those two months you were gone, but..."

"i know," she says softly, reaching out to hold your jaw, cupping it, and then moving to fully remove your ear muff. you do not realise it was still on you. you must have been yelling at her all this time because you could hear your own voice easily. "i should have shared nonetheless, we're partners. i had the time to do so all of last night while i am all snuggled up to you..."

"but it's not entirely your fault, i haven't been a very good partner either. then again... i couldn't find anything useful when i search 'how to be a good lover to a gangster' on naver."

you said that in a rather silly attempt to make the burden of great secret that she carries lighter, and thankfully, she does let out a good chuckle. "i guess it's not a very popular topic in those trashy lovers online platforms and magazines."

"it's not," you giggle, you think your face is very red now. "you are very special."

"to you?"

"to me." you finish, pecking her lightly on her cheek.

"don't i get kisses on my lips?" she pouts.

"you're cute, but i'm still angry."

she shrugs, happy even if the outcome is not as she wanted. "eh, it's worth a try."

"you left without having breakfast."

at this, she gasps, hands flying to her chest. "oh my god..."

"i made some kimbap, but um, they're still in the car because i was not entirely sure i'd be allowed into the building or if you're actually here--"

she is already smothering you with a big hug before you could finish your sentences. "i love you, juhyun! i'm starving!"

-----

"do you... carry a gun when you meet me?" you ask as the two of you are munching on kimbap, sitting at one of the many tables available in the large building, overlooking the city central, both of you bathed in warm sunlight filtering through the clear glass windows.

"no, never. i thought you'd be spooked if your hand brushed my gun when i conceal carry," she answers rather urgently, wanting you to understand as quickly as possible, nervous. "you've always been a cuddler, so if i had it with me all the time, i would have been exposed far easier. and that's just not... ideal. i wanted to build trust with you first before i could risk it."

"trust, huh..."

she seems to cower under your judgemental gaze. "don't look at me like that! falling in love with you wasn't at all in the plans."

"i'm starting to have trust issues." you shudder again. it seems like you feel these type of chills far easier now.

"no, juhyun..."

you grin at her brightly. "kidding."

she sighs. "i'm the one who should have trust issues here."

you look up the ceiling, at a certain floor higher than the dining area where you are currently in, thinking. "did you have to use it at all?"

"use what?" she asks before stuffing more tuna kimbap into .

"a gun. during the two months you were away."

"yeah."

you turn your attention to her then. her eyes are casted downwards, so you can't find those hazel shades that you love so much. "i see."

"mine was fired as just a warning shot, but... others... i'm afraid they all meet their marks."

"huh?" you gulp when you hear her words. "so you didn't..."

"i didn't kill anyone," she ruffles up her bangs. "though technically i did lead raids that have people killed in, so... i don't know anymore, juhyun," she lets out a heavy breath, one that just sounds so exhausted. "mission wise it is a complete success, but i initially wanted to use a peaceful method, one that requires a lot more... subtle diplomacy, not full on gunfights, but... that was how they wanted it to be. we made sure that the media will not catch wind of the sorties. the police is not a problem either since they worked together closely with our private investigation team, it ended to their credit... and it's over, it's done."

you wipe your hands on your pants before you clasp on hers.

she could only offer you a weak acknowledgement. "i honestly don't know what i am anymore."

"there's one thing i can be sure on about you though." you shake your head, confidence all around you.

"yeah? what's that?"

"that you are my most important person in the world."

she chuckles again, a delighted one this time around. "say that one more time."

"you are my most important person in the world. i love you."

"and now the kiss to my lips?" she points a very helpful finger to her cutely puckered lips.

"what?" you blush. "this is your workplace, i can't do that!"

"what if it's my kink to be kissed by my lover while i am at work?"

"seulgi!" you yell at her, swatting her playful (you hope) hands away.

she laughs, and listens to you nag for a few long minutes about boundaries in a workplace, stuffing her face with kimbap and all the while looking at you rather endearingly.

that is it. you are going to make her pay for your ruined couch.

-----

a/n: not sure why people think this fic is over, it's not tagged completed yet orz