i.

i'll fix you up (maybe you can fix me too)

 

 

maybe you should just end things.

right now.

it's strange. you were just heading out to find some coffee. you hate the drink, but god knows you desperately need one after the eight hours surgery you just went through.

where you lost your patient. again.

you could just step out right now, when cars are still zipping past in a mad rush, and the light is red on the crossing.

you wait for the bus you could see on the far horizon. you could probably survive a car crashing into you. but a bus? maybe not. it's a solid choice, you think. it would be a bit messy, and you kind of pity the people who would clean up the bits and pieces of your brain and meat, but it would be really easy for you, it would be an instant death.

(hopefully)

the bus is closer now, you can hear it approaching fast. you look up, and the light is still red.

you step off the pavement.

you barely make it to the paved road, when you feel your body being held back. you are spun, and suddenly the bus zips past you, and you're not in front of it to be run over. you let out a low sigh and stare at the moving bus past a broad shoulder.

you're still being held protectively, with arms wound up around your back and a bigger body pressed on you.

you strangely feel safe.

"are you okay?"

you look up, meeting the eyes of your unwelcomed savior.

sharp fox eyes glimmer with genuine worry in return to your icy glare, and you feel like you have not seen that kind of shade of deep brown and warmth ever in your now longer life. you have not had someone look so concerned over your well being, not after you lost your mother so many years ago.

you shove the woman away with a huff, and she lets you go, her hands still hovering up though, looking to keep you safe.

you're about to turn and head to the hospital, but the woman holds you back with a vice grip on your wrist. you glare at her, but she seems unperturbed.

"it's not worth it, miss," she starts, surprising you a little. she takes you in, her eyes lingering at your long white coat and hospital staff id the longest. "your life is so important. you're a doctor right? ending lives isn't a part of your job now isn't it?"

she's wrong, you think. these days you get to end lives much more than you could save them.

you yank you hand away from her, then turn to the hospital, putting more effort to your steps to get away from this woman as fast as you could.

before you could get much further, she yells. "i'll keep an eye on you! i'll keep you alive!"

you speed up just a little more.

 

-----

 

you see her again, on the same pedestrian crossing a week later. you glare at her as a greeting while she is all smiles, her wide toothed grin irking you just a tiny bit.

"oh, good, you're still alive." she says as she falls into steps beside you, crossing the road at the same speed you're going.

for the first time, you give her a good look. her dark brown hair, only a shade darker than her eyes, falls a little over her shoulders, with neat bangs covering her forehead. it bellows in the soft wind as the two of you made it to the other side of the road, and you find yourself a bit entranced. she's dressed in an all black outfit - a well tailored suit with a slim tie and sharp dress shoes.

she looks quite dashing, now that you have to admit.

she is only a few centimenters taller than you, but somehow you feel like she towers over you by a lot.

perhaps it's the protective posture.

you don't quite understand it.

why does she feel protective over you?

what does she mean by it's good that you're still alive?

you think you're better off dead, really.

even so, you let her match her steps with you. she seems to know where you're heading already, because she rushes forward to open the door to the coffee house where you always get your caffeine fix, tilting her head to sign you to go in, grinning widely as she does so.

she paid for your coffee and a blueberry muffin despite your silent, glaring protest.

she walks you back to the hospital too, always staying on the side of the path closer to the road, guarding you, perhaps even getting prepared to stop you in case you feel a certain need to throw yourself into the speeding traffic.

she stops at the entrance of the hospital, and stays there until you get to the staff elevator, and she gives you one last cheerful wave before the sliding door closes on you.

 

-----

 

maybe she's stalking you. she seems to be present wherever you go. 

you are at the street vendor joint you enjoy getting wasted at the night before your day off when she slides into the seat next to you, looking over you with her sharp eyes, though they are not glimmering with that constant amber shine, instead they look a little wary.

"there's a guy looking at you strange. i don't like him one bit," she tells you, and you grumble indistinctly in reply before downing another shot of soju. she seems more surprised by your incoherent voice rather than your soju one shot. "well, that's the first time i hear your voice. i suppose it's progress."

you are trying to down another bottle of soju when she gently lays her palm on your hand, smiling softly as she stops you. "i think you've had enough. let's get you home, hm?"

she rummages in your handbag, taking out your wallet and finding your identification card. she read your address with a raised eyebrow, then she places your wallet back and fishes her own wallet to make payments. you make a fuss with the vendor owner, trying to get the point that you wanted to pay with your own money across rather feebly with your unintelligible mumbling.

the owner ignores you and says his thanks as he returns the balance money to her.

the next thing you know you're being lifted on her shoulders, yelping in surprise.

"stop struggling, you silly drunk. if you stay still, i'll be able to get to my car faster." she mutters as she adjusts your dead weight on her back.

you quickly understand that there is no way out of this situation except allowing her to do what she wants, so you relax and let her carry you, burying your face into the crook of her neck, seeking for warmth in the cold night.

she is very warm, you think. she steadily moves around, shifting you up when you slid down a little, then continuing the journey silently.

"ugh, he's following us." you hear her mutter after a while, question marks popping in your head. who is following you?

you think she slips in a secluded alley somewhere, it's darker here, though you can't really make things out that well. suddenly she places you down gently, her kind, smiling face popping into view. she takes off her suit blazer then drapes it over you. "it's going to be okay, i'll keep you safe."

you don't really know what happens after, but there are lots of loud sounds, some kind of struggle nearby - slamming, crashes, yelling, moans. pained moans. you think you're really losing it now. the last thing you feel is warm hands wrapping around you.

you drift out, feeling safer and warmer than ever.

 

-----

 

it is constant groaning when you wake up. your head feels like it's splitting into two and there is a dull pain throbbing on your back, close to your hips. you feel something wet peels off your forehead as you shift around, blinking the glaring lights filtering through the windows away.

when you finally come to your senses, you see a damp pink towel lying next to your pillow, and then everything else. you peel off your soft bed, looking around in a bit of a daze.

then the door to your bedroom opens.

you jump a little in shock, so used to silence around your house since you've lived alone since forever, already grabbing the object nearest to you to throw at the intruder as an act of self defense, though that object happens to be your soft teddy bear, which is not at all a good choice.

she pops in with that kind smile of hers, and you sigh in relief. you notice the tray she's carrying in, and then the small cuts on her face. cuts that still look untreated.

and is that blood on her white, heavily crumpled dress shirt? 

your eyebrows are furrowed in worry now. just what happened when you were absolutely knocked out?

"hey," she greets as she sits beside you on your bed, helping you up with a steady hand on your back. "got you some water and meds. go ahead and take it. it's okay to take even with an empty stomach, i think... but i guess you know that for sure already."

you gingerly take the glass of water and pills from the tray, downing them quickly. finished, you place the empty glass back on the tray, looking at the bright beam on her face as she sets it on your night stand, then your eyes flicker to the untended cuts and blood on her shirt. "what in the world happened to you? i didn't throw up, um, blood on your shirt and make you fall on your face, did i?"

"oh, no, you didn't puke or anything, don't worry, it's nothing, really."

"tell me."

she in a sharp breath, looking like she is trying desperately to keep a deep secret. eventually she falters under your gaze, letting the very same breath out, and then she talks. slowly, carefully. "well, if you remember anything from last night... i told you there was a guy looking at you strange, right?"

"yes, i do remember that."

"he followed us when we left the vendor," she recounts, all the while fiddling with her chapped lips. she's nervous, no, scared might be a closer guess, you think. "losing him was a bit difficult to do with you on my back, so i lured him into a dark alley..."

"okay..."

"he was going to mug us, i think? or, uh, do something even worse than that..."

you let out a small, resigned sigh. "you can say ."

"yes, okay, so he was definitely trying to do that," she sighs too, rubbing the back of her neck rather nervously now that she's taken off small bits of her dry lips off. "i fought him, but i didn't think he actually brought friends with him. try as i might, i can't fight three grown men and walk out of it unscathed."

"you fought three grown men?" you ask in complete disbelief.

"i trained in martial arts, so it was doable," she grins in that bright way that you now know is pretty much exclusively hers. you think this conversation could have gone much worse if it is not for her pulling her tricks with her annoyingly straight, white teeth. "getting a few cuts is arguably a lot better than the both of us getting... well, ually assaulted."

you stay quiet for a moment before addressing the other elephant in the room. "and you stayed with me the whole night?"

"not on your bed together with you, obviously!" she waves her hand frantically. "you've had enough invasion of your privacy. i crashed on the couch outside. i really hope you don't mind. i was worried about you."

"why?"

"why what?"

"why were you worried about me?"

she is the one to be put in silence now. you fold your legs and rests your head on your knees, already feeling a bit better, waiting for something. something that could possibly be important.

"i don't know."

at her short answer, you shoot her an incredulous look. "you don't know?"

"nope!" she laughs heartily. "i did say i'll keep you alive, but i don't know why exactly i said it."

you let out a small hum. 

she continues with a smaller smile etched on her face. "but i am a woman of my word."

"i figured," you sigh. "next time, i'll take the couch. i like it better than my bed."

"i do hope you don't plan on getting blackout drunk again anytime soon, but..." confusion is obvious on her face on as she drawls. "there will be a next time?"

"i don't think i could get rid of you even if i want to," you allow your eyes to roll when the grin on her lips gets wider. when all the right words come to you in your head though, you smirk a little. "besides, if we see more of each other, maybe you can find the reason why."

her sputtering mess is perhaps one of the best things you've woken up to.

 

-----

 

"you ever think of staying still? it's not a very difficult concept," you groan when she flinches away for the nth time from the cotton swab you hold gingerly in your hand. "how are you able to take a beating so calmly but not some innocent disinfectant?"

"i've been conditioned to be able to take a beating, cracked my bones to get them stronger and all," is her rather haughty reply. "disinfectant still stings."

"perhaps you might want to condition your skin to be able to take disinfectant then."

"absolutely groundbreaking solution to my lifelong problem, doc, thanks."

with an eyebrow raised, you question what exactly she meant by that. "lifelong? do you get into street fights that often?"

she laughs again before yelping as you clean another cut. "no, no, i don't. i'm just... very clumsy, you know? tripping, stubbing my toe, hitting my head, paper cuts, actual knife cuts... you name it."

you stare at her hard. "right now, i don't feel very hungover because something else hurts more. please tell me you don't have anything to do with my back pain."

"uhhh," she starts pulling on her lips again, nervous. "i might have dropped you once or twice."

"you dropped me," you repeat with a deadpan voice. "maybe even twice?"

"...maybe."

"huh."

"i mean, i didn't do it intentionally."

"of course you didn't," you assure her, finally cleaning the last cut under her jaw. "i know i'm a dead weight when i'm drunk. the owner of that vendor knows me well to just let me sleep until his closing time in the wee morning, i'm usually a bit more sober to call a taxi then. i'm grateful that you got me home, and, well, that... you know, for protecting me."

"well, yeah, that's what i told you i would do!" she says enthusiastically. 

"yes, yes," you roll your eyes a little. "i don't doubt you."

she is all smiles again, shifting around slightly on the bed as you tuck away your first aid kit, pretty much just vibrating in happiness.

you shut the kit box, still looking at her. "and i suppose an apology is in order."

"an apology? for what?"

"many things. for one, well, you're here with me instead of going to work..."

"oh, don't you worry about that, i called in sick. i think i could use some rest too after last night."

"no kidding, they really got you good... i'll get you a doctor's letter after. did i miss anything? your stomach? chest? any other cuts or bruises i should know about?"

"it's fine, i can tend to those by myself, i get hurt often, remember?" she stops, before a teasing glint flickers in her eyes. "unless... you think that my going shirtless only on our third meeting is nothing out of the ordinary."

"i'll just add up to your bruises then." you mutter, throwing something in your immediate reach at her to injure her further. 

it happens to be your teddy bear.

it bounces off her forehead harmlessly but still she drops to her back, squirming and groaning in pain.

"i should really get something hard to throw at intruders." you conclude, sighing as you hear her bright laughter again, bouncing off the thin walls of your humble house.

"you should've thrown the first aid kit. that'd be so ironic. getting bruised by a first aid's kit? hilarious." she says as she gets into a sitting position, legs folded and comfortable.

"your humour might need some work," you murmur, getting off your bed and heading to your wardrobe. "i'll get you a change of clothes. any preferences?"

"just... a work shirt or something? long sleeved."

"okay, it's good that you're boring just like me."

"i'll have you know most of my investments are placed in my suits."

"yes," you nod. "that's boring, isn't it?"

she shrugs. "okay, maybe. but i look good."

you let out a small hum, fishing out a black long sleeved dress shirt. you have plenty of these. 

you're kind of always mourning the loss of your patients.

"here, it might be a tight fit though," you hand the shirt to her, then turns to head out of your room. "i'll leave you to change, i'll be in the kitchen."

"okay! see you!" she chirps happily, and you close the door with an audible exhale.

"what an odd girl..."

 

-----

- to be continued -

-----

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lisa_misa
#1
Chapter 20: this was beautiful... thank you for sharing it
railtracer08
357 streak #2
Chapter 20: I absolutely adore 2nd person fics but they're hard to get right and this was so well written so good job. The first half of this was so adorable and fluffy omg +£-#&#&_@!;: And then the action kicked in and was like 😖, but then the ending was 😍
Jensoo4everlove #3
Chapter 20: Really not a fan of stories written in first person but read this for seulrene and definitely loved it ❤
TypewriterLuvie
#4
Chapter 20: My heart ugh. I absolutely despise first person but that’s because I haven’t read many first POV’s that are good, but this one is exceptionally divine :)) such a nice read, thank you for your efforts and talents <3
wolyoooo88
#5
Chapter 20: This is such a cute story 🥺 Thank you so much!
Sanatozaki9
#6
Chapter 7: 🥹🥹🥹
cream_rv
#7
🥺🧡
dtaylorz
#8
Chapter 20: The comic verse tho <3
Fukurei #9
Chapter 20: No worries Author, thank you for the last few drawn panels.
Take care and thank you for writing this story ♡
sagingnirene #10
Chapter 20: cuteee