Contains swear words & slight unpleasant images.

(Italic font text is memories. THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IS A FLASHBACK!)

Please don't forget that both chapters 14 and 15 are NEW. (Yes I know, a double updated). I decided to split them up as otherwise, the word count would have been around 10,000. 

Please also note that '-X-' means that the flashback is not in the correct time sequence for story reasons. Sorry if it may throw you off the flow.

The usual gossip surrounded me as I stood still in the middle of the training room. Wild eyes darting at me from all corners of the room, making me feel as if I was stranded right in the middle of a circus, them being my audience. It made sense, Captains Lore rookies were the best out of the best. Individuals spent years of training, and extensive almost inhuman testing to be allowed to join his junior division specifically. To be a mere rookie in his squad required extraordinary abilities. Being a top scorer meant nothing if the individual had no unique abilities. Every Trainee had some sort of aptitude ability, but Lore’s division was above it all. Rumours were circling just what horrific testing Commander Heinous enforced Captain Lore to implement to maintain a high standard. Captain Lore was the face of it all, a mere step down from the great Commander Heinous, so it all made sense. Those jealousy-filled whispers, the not-so-secret anger directed at me. How did a mere Wrath freak end up here in such an elite group?

D-93 always worked in the shadows, no one knew much about the organisation, was it a newly formed military? Group of skilled assassins? Was it even there? Maybe it was just a passed-down tale. But it all changed when the recent threats of an approaching war began to spread like wildfire. The fantasy-like organisation overnight decided to rise with the help of the new power giant city named C21. 

So for many, it was a surprise to see that Captain Lore himself had managed to climb the hierarchy pyramid so quickly. No one knew exactly how he did it, but everyone knew that during a secret mission something big happened, something that leads to Lore doing something astonishing which surprised the Commander himself. So naturally curiosity and fear surrounded him, yet he was regarded as a prime example of just what a well-behaved proxy was capable of being. 

So being in his junior division should have been the biggest compliment, with his training, with his name alone proxies in his division, specifically senior proxies suddenly became the new ‘it’ hunters and assassins. Long were the days of human hunters gone, instead, it was all about the aptitudes, the discipline, and the ability to turn off emotions to succeed no matter what. Perhaps that was why Lore was so keen on getting Enmity under his wings, it made sense after all Enmity was already the prime example of the new era of Proxies. Maybe one day he will himself end up leading his division.

 
So there was no surprise to find myself on the verge of a pathetic breakdown, my eyes becoming wet from all the building-up tears as I could not stop myself from wanting to hide away, to disappear. I was not wordy to be there, I was not ready to be his rookie. I was not ready to kill yet, to turn off all that made me human. I thought I could do it, I thought when the time came to move up, I would be able to do it. But Enmity robbed me of time, yes ironically he robbed time away from me, from someone who wielded time aptitude. And it was evident that everyone thought that too. After all, no one below the age of twenty-five ever managed to join Lore’s junior division. Yet over a few weeks, not one but two just did that.

Whispers of Lore’s rookie junior division no longer being elite rang, after all, it seemed that anyone could end up being recruited with a top score and a mental breakdown as per prime examples of Enmity and I. Well in Enmities case, a unique aptitude and devil-like attitude. 

Professor Fervour was standing in the middle of the metallic bare room. It had no windows, no tables, just a disturbingly clean room with a small virtual menu screen built-in at the back corner. A cheery welcoming symbol flashed across once in a while, as if to remind everyone that it was still there. Perhaps it was a secret door? A secret escape route? I was not sure. But it was something important, because every so often when the fasciation of staring at me stopped, eyes flashed towards that small panel before turning towards Professor Fervour.

The whole room slowly made me feel terrified. Every corner my eyes felt on, a confident rookie staring at me. Their snake-like eyes viewing my frame, it was almost as if they waited for me to make a move, for me to fall, to break down. A small step out of line and I would end up being jumped by them. Yet I hopelessly mumbled a pray to myself, begging for my heart to slow down before the tachycardic rhythm forced me into a cardiac arrest.

I could to this, I could…I really could…could I? No, maybe I could not do it. 

“I believe there is no need for introductions. We have a recruit again, and if any of you have a problem just like with Enmity, then feel free to take it up with the Captain himself, or even better get over it and focus on yourself.” Professor Fervour's rumbling voice rang, the eyes finally leaving me alone for the moment to stare at Professor instead. My mouth swallowed the building up saliva with a slight struggle as I almost felt myself panting, grasping the air in fear.

 
“I will not allow time to be wasted again, understood?” There were some angry murmurs but the moment Professor’s shining yellow eyes scanned every rookie present, a hushed silence felt around us. My eyes instead begin to focus on a virtual tablet her slender fingers are holding. Her yellow acrylic nails tapped against the screen for a moment until a virtual image of a man, probably not older than thirty, with green sharp knife eyes appeared. His hair was pure snow white, a spine-shivering smirk presenting on his face.

“Fox, 29 years old, a deflected senior proxy.”

“Captain Lore has split you all into three groups. Your mission is simple, bring this guy back, either alive or dead. But do it before the end of today.” There was a sudden tension rising in the room as rookies began to whisper incoherently. Mumbles of ‘What?’ and ‘He’s a senior proxy? 

‘Isn’t this mission a bit dangerous?’ circled.

My hands slowly found themselves wrapped around my frame as I chewed onto the inner skin of my right cheek. This was above it all, I wanted to be a proxy, I wanted to prove myself but the mission seemed so advanced for a mere rookie. Was this normal? Was this the reason why Enmity always looked as if he was one step inside his grave, pale face, slight bruises scattered around his body yet he continued to stand? Maybe this mission was only for him and him alone?

Professor Fervour ignored all the murmurs, her lips twisting up into a dissatisfied leer as she continued, each word which slipped past her lips sounded louder and louder, until I could no longer take it anymore, my vision becoming slightly blurry as I gasped, my eyes darting around, looking for one set eyes, for his eyes, the only eyes that could calm me down but in the sea of cold, unforgiving eyes none where his black ones. 

“Your group must not have any casualties. For each causality, no matter how minor is the injury you will receive a strike. Three strikes and you are out of this division, in fact, you are out of this whole program. Understood?”

The room suddenly erupted into protests, fingers began to point each other in a victimising manner. My dim irises suddenly dropped to view my combat boots as I heard more harsh protests. This was too difficult.,.why would Captain Lore think I was suitable for this division? Why would he think this was suitable for any of his rookies? A senior proxy? What aptitude would he possess, how long has he trained? He probably knew us all before we even left the training room. So why? Just why?

“But half of those people are useless? How am I supposed to work with any of them? Especially that new freak?” I heard someone beside me complain, only making me feel even worse than before. I tried to shut my eyelids, to count up to twenty to calm myself down yet Professor’s sharp words forced me to leave my little calm place. 

“You are all here to become the best out of the best, so if you can’t work with let’s say those less fortunate then you don’t deserve to be a rookie in Lore’s division. So deal with it.”

This was all a big nightmare, one huge nightmare which just continued, no matter how much I tried to force myself awake. No, this division was not for me. Not for Jinmi.

Not for…

Ire?

“Oh, and if you fail this mission you get two strikes, remember that next time you think of leaving a teammate behind.” Professors Fervour's words cut like a sharp knife, the room falling into shocked silence. It was clear that for some reason the missions’ intensity went up a level with my sudden arrival. Was Captain Lore trying to ensure I would fail? Maybe that was his way of telling me that I did not belong anywhere? 

But did…

Ire?

“Only one team can succeed. If any of you have any issues with this mission, the door is on your right. Leave and never come back. Games are over, you are rookies under the best junior division. I will sooner kick you out myself than experience the embarrassment of any of you so-called best rookies failing me and in turn, failing Captain Lore. Remember, your actions are not only reflecting your abilities, your teams but Lores too. And trust me, Lore might seem kind but there is a reason why he is the most successful Captain in D-93.” 

Professor Fervour did not waste any more time, her fingers snapping once before three individuals rushed into the room. Their hands hold multiple blank old fashion identity tags. Shivers began to descend my nerve endings as they threw the shining metals at us. Some of the tags fell onto the floor, as rookies scrambled to take one like clockwork.

This was not what I imagined. Was this what Yoongi had to deal with every single day the moment he accepted to be what I thought someone more than a simple number out of thousands? Instead, he becomes a blank dog almost like tag? Was this the new Yoongi, the new Enmity?

“You know the drill, take one. A reminder of your name no longer existing. You are a Proxy now. Don’t ever forget it.” 

“Now, I will each call your new name and give you a team number. Once you all assemble it’s up to the group’s leader to decide how you will progress with this mission.”

There was no time to think, there was no time to try and calm me down when the realisation of it all being my new reality s in. My shamefully glossy eyes gripped that nameless name tag tightly, the metal slightly digging into my palms skin as I waited for my assigned team number. What will I be? Who will I be? Who was Ire truly?

And just when the room becomes less crowded, just when there were only a few proxies left standing in a straight line the corner of my eyes suddenly noticed the familiar figure of Yoongi. No, he was Enmity now. He wasn’t looking at me but his tired frame finally made sense. This was no longer fun and games. No, this was serious. And all those thoughts of seeing him, of just his presence calming me down went away. How could he calm me down when he looked that bad?

“Enmity.” 

I watched Enmity march up to the Professor. He showed no fear he seemed thrilled. His sharp eyes shone in delight as he gripped the handed neon virtual sticker, his long slender fingers forcing the number to stick on the right side of his chest. His dark jacket suddenly glowed up from the virtual number, before he unexpectedly turned to look at me. I felt my breath get stuck in my throat as he looked at me for the first time since yesterday’s attack. His leather jacket framed his upper body well, my heart rapidly dropping to my gut as I hopelessly wanted his comfort again. But if he saw my pathetic plead for help, he ignored it. Instead, his head nodded once at me, a bright number five glowing in almost mockery as if he acknowledged my presence before his legs were marching to the furthest corner of the room. Where his fingers scanned against the virtual panel screen. 

-x-

Only at a later time did I find out that that small ‘cheerful’ screen was specifically placed for Yoongi. Something that Lore was forced to implement after Yoongi joined his team. Something that Proxy Euphoria suggested for Lore to implement when the health check readings showed something that made Enmity even more desired than he already was, explicitly by Captain Knight. A senior proxy that craved for power, of making D-93 the most powerful organisation there was ever was, and for that to happen, certain Captains and Commander needed to disappear. 

It was probably Lore’s way of trying to ensure that Yoongi clocked in, each day, each time he got assigned a mission, because one unaccounted moment, one moment this panel did not work, or Yoongi unambiguously decided not to use it was the moment when it all went wrong. 

On one stormy night, one night when Yoongi came back with blood dripping down his fingers, his red eyes flashing manically at those who tried to surround him, to try and calm him down but only instead ended up getting dry by his aptitude, by his hunger for souls. By his animalistic form, as he laughed and growl for everyone to move, to leave him alone, but to also stay so his ‘reaper’ could feast. 

That night Proxy Euphoria was screaming about ‘Captain Knight’ being dead, whilst I stood still, petrified from both fear and relief of seeing Yoongi alive after his and Captain Knight’s disappearance. Investigations showed that Captain Knight proudly went behind everyone’s back and decided to seek a deal with rebels and his troops. But instead only ending up getting disposed of by Enmity. That very own proxy who he was craving for so bad, so bad to the point that great Captain ended up making a grave mistake. 

Yoongi never did say who gave him the mission to get rid of Captain Knight. But one thing was clear, that whoever it was, that night Enmity ended up clearing a ‘space’ for himself to become a Captain. 

X 

Lingering eyes from others surrounding him as he simply leaned his back against the wall, the wait for his team to assemble continued.

Perhaps they hated him all, but there was no denying that for that very moment they all suddenly wanted to be on his team. A mere new rookie had so much power over them all. Just how powerful would he become if he ever becomes a Captain?

The name-calling dragged on, soon enough three teams began to form. I watched Enmity get surrounded by four individuals, their voices echoing loudly as they without a doubt select him as their leader. Yet Enmity said nothing. His eyes continued to boreholes at the Professor. 

Soon enough I was the only one left without a team. My chest hurt slightly from all the nervousness that I was going through. I heard not-so-secret taunts of rookies begging for me not to get placed in their teams. Which I tried to ignore, if I wanted to become a good proxy the first step was trying to get rid of Jinmi, to lose my emotional self, for Ire to emerge and stay. 

“Ire.” I snapped my head towards the somewhat unfamiliar name. Professor Fervour stares at me with a blank look before I force my legs to move forward. A slight scoff left her lips when she notices just how terrified I was, my fingers shaking as I took the number before with a final swallow of my fears, my eyes glanced down at the number five present. At that very moment, selected leaders from the surrounding teams called upon their numbers, most of the eyes trying to avoid me. Yet my attention quickly falls onto Enmity who hasn’t said anything yet. His number shone brightly in an almost mocking manner, of course, that was my faith. ‘Two Wrath Freaks’ should always be together.

His team sighed and mumbled in disappointment when I press the number against my upper chest. Yet Enmity continued to stay silent. Team five belonged to him and in turn, I belonged to him. 

I was on his team.

X

Few snickers sounded from the nearest group to us. Their judgmental faces glared at me, as I felt myself beginning to tremble slightly again. This was so much worse than my trainee days. Their powerful and confident auras almost swallowed me whole. They did not say anything for a while but it was evident that they all felt bad for my team, because I was there. 

But soon enough their mouths began to move, words began to slip. 

“So that’s the girl that threatened Enmity? I’m surprised she is still alive? Surely Enmity would have dealt with her by now.”

“Shut up, she might attack you too.” 

I felt my teeth slowly sinking into my bottom lip as I forced myself to keep my head up high, their words sinking into my mind. My heart continued to roughly beat against my rib cage as something unpleasant, something sinister deep inside me was slowly beginning to claw out. All my life I was forced to listen to the same things, to the same damn words. A freak, a thing, a dirty useless it. D-93 was supposed to be different. The moment I received an invitation was supposed to symbolise the start of something new. I did not need to keep my aptitude to myself anymore, there were no longer judgmental eyes from my parents as they stared at me with hatred. No, this was supposed to be different, yet here I was hearing those words again.

No more, I could no longer try and keep it down. Time was ticking so loudly, so horribly loudly. So before I could try and calm myself down, before I could forget about that deep dark part of myself I was hissing angrily at them.

“Shut up or I’m going to shut you all up with my hands.” 

Silence. A sudden silence fell. Their eyes finally left me alone. Instead of a set of familiar eyes, Enmity eyes stared at me. Our team quickly glanced away. But there was no need, at that very moment all I could see was him, just him. Enmity was breath-taking, his cat-like eyes never leaving me, and just when the tension reached the breaking point, just when I thought I might end up doing something stupid, something dangerous a turquoise-haired guy stepped forward, his surprisingly tall frame towering over us all. 

“Enmity, we need a co-leader, I think it would be best if you would select me. You know, missions such as this are my specialty. It shouldn’t take us too long to find that defector and take him back for questioning.”  He spoke calmly, his words earning agreeable mumbles from the other three proxies. The other teams shifted around, most leaving. Yet Enmity ignored him for a moment, instead opting out for clicking his gun's magazine open, six bullets appearing insight before he fixed the magazine in place, his fingers passing me the Glock without a single word. 

Enmity wasn’t a man of many words, he often preferred to stay alone, to focus on himself, so his gesture, as small as it seemed only made me look at him in bewilderment. It was as if he was accepting me, perhaps maybe only just this once but for that moment it seemed as if we were back to our old ways. Secret glances and secret ways of showing that we had each other’s back. No matter if it was only temperamental. So I tried to quickly squash that silly part of me, that part that so desperately wanted his acceptance, wanted him so badly.

To only keep Ire, that trained machine. My fingers took his gun, as my lips stayed silent. 

“No, we won’t be taking him back for questioning. We won’t be taking him back alive.” 

Enmity words were so quiet that for a moment I thought I might have imagined them, yet the look coming from the team proved that I indeed heard him correctly. 

“Enmity, we don’t have to kill him.” 

“Silk, you want to be the co-leader? Maybe before trying to act like know it all just like your stupid brother you should stop and think. A senior defected proxy won’t be coming back for questioning. So I won’t let you all go and kill yourselves by trying to keep him alive. It’s either him or yourself. Now if any of you think otherwise, well then we won’t be selecting a co-leader.” Enmities words felt harsh, there was no room for any negotiation, and he simply glances at us all one last time before heading out. His words were final.

Enmity simply was the leader by nature. I felt my fingers tightening around the gun, my heart hammering against my chest as his words circled my mind. 

“…not again.” The Silk guy hissed before quickly following Enmity. 

X

I did not want to admit it. But he was right. And for months to come, he will continue to be right, annoying right. 

Enmity was the one who made a clean shot at Fox when team four was dissembled after they tried to bring Fox back for questioning. There was so much blood, I had never seen so much blood in my life. 

That night I realised just how disturbing D-93 truly was. We slaved ourselves, yet nobody ever truly cared. Bodies lying in their blood, so much blood, so many tears. Nobody helped Team four, the closest team to them fled as soon as they found an opening, yet Enmity continued to stay on top of the rooftop, his handheld high as we stayed behind him, hearing all the cries and screams for help, and just when it all seemed to have gotten too much for me, just when I stopped crouching behind Enmity, his fingers pressed the trigger. They never shook, his attention never swayed. He waited and waited until he found the perfect opportunity when Fox was exposed, and he took it. One-shot, one clean shot, that all it took for the great senior Proxy Fox to fall.

 
And just when it all seemed to be over, just when it seemed to be safe to try and mend the remaining alive team back. To morn over the death of others, to feel a little human after seeing so much blood. Proxy Silk ignored Enmity’s command to stay down, to stay low, and to wait out. Something was happening, no someone was coming but we all were human, no matter how much we tried to force ourselves to think otherwise. So we ran, we ran as quickly as we could to get down to the alleyway where five laid dead and one girl, was gripping onto her bleeding ribs. Team four only had her left and Team Three was too scared to come and help, so we ran. Team five ran because we were the only ones who felt something.

“, Ire stay down. Are you ing listening to me? Ire!” Enmities hushed whispers carried in the cold windy night, yet I ignored him. His fingers slipped past my arm to try and grab onto me. But we continued to decent the stairs. Our rapid footsteps echoed inside the empty stairwell, as Proxy Silk continued to lead us. 

“Ire please.” Enmity painfully hisses, and maybe if the blood wasn’t haunting me, I would have stopped and looked at him, listened to his almost pleads for me to stop, to wait. But Yoongi was able to shut it all away, to not care, in fact, he never cared yet I could not bring myself to feel calm knowing that people died. Rule number three, sacrifices needed to be made but was it fair to send rookies to their deaths? 

Proxy Silk threw the backdoor open, our feet padding onto the asphalt where a female proxy was bleeding out. The scene was gut ranching, there was that unmistakable blood stench all around us, yet before either of us could react, a male shadow let out a horrid sob in anger, their hands covering in ice crystals, the night’s air becoming crystallized. But the cold was nothing compared to the moment the shadow's eyes met us. His gaze alone was petrifying. Keeping us still like prisoners, even Enmity behind me stood still. Just who was that person? 

The warmth of my body was not enough to defend against the freezing temperature. And just in a blink of an eye, that shadow had their hands wrapped around Silk’s throat. A forlorn grunt resonated in the night as they sobbed for something, no someone. Silk’s eyes rolled in their sockets as he was trying with the last of his strength to kick the intruder off but soon enough he was running out of the air and that should have been it. The finish line. His death. 

However, six shots, six bullets found themselves buried deep inside the nameless guy. Six quick bullets from the Glock that I was holding without my consent, the hail surrounding us slowing down as time becomes a standstill. Forcing me to view the very moment those six bullets buried themselves inside the shadow. The moment he left Proxy Silk go, with a pained groan. The very moment his body fell down onto the ground, as the skies cleared themselves. No more hail, and just as a second ticked by my aptitude disappeared, time ticking by as I found myself kneeling onto the cold ground. Sobbing in fear. Sobbing in fear of myself.

I just killed someone. 

“.” Proxy Silk gasped out.

X 

Only later did we find out that the nameless guy was another defected Proxy. Another hopeful person. A person that knew how horrible D-93 truly was, and thus decided to instead live in hiding. He was friends with Fox, they both trained together, both pledge to become the best and they both died together. 

They both died by my and Enmities hands. 

I never felt so distressed in my life. My shadowy eyes stared as the blackness of that murderous night began to light up. The sun rising on the horizon, spreading golden light in every direction. Spreading its warmth but I continued to feel empty, frozen even. No matter how many times Professor Fervour’s congratulating words sang around as team five was the only team without any casualties. Proxies Silk’s near-death experience being bruised off by a simple hand wave, it simply did not matter. Proxies were tools, tools had no emotions, what mattered where results and team five brought not one but two good news. We overachieved even. So Professor felt the need to announce in front of the broken junior rookies, in front of the so-called future of Captain’s Lore division that the division only had two decent rookies. Rookies that will become future Captains. But all I could hear was the unspoken words of the division holding two murderous. 

I was a murderer. I was one of them.

X

It must have been hours later when my body slowly began to stop shaking when the reality of nothing changing no matter how much I begged for it to change sank in. Enmity stayed with me throughout it all, in silence as I watched Proxies clean the blood off the ground, dispose of the bodies and dispatch the injured proxies back to the base. Even long after Professor said those haunting words, only when I finally began to breathe calmer when my now steady fingers reached out for Enmity's own ones. Only then did Enmity in hushed whispers, so quiet that not even the wind surrounding us carried them said; 

“You’ll be my co-leader from now on Ire.” 

And perhaps once my mind stopped overworking, once the impulses slowed down and allowed me to go back to pretending as if this was normal as if being a proxy and killing others was normal. Then maybe I would have accepted those words. I would accept the fact that Enmity decided that I was the only one worthy enough. But for now, all I could do was shamelessly cling myself onto Enmity, my fingers gripping his one as I buried my face into his shoulder, no longer sobbing but not saying anything in return.  

Maybe my gut would eventually stop twisting so badly at the sight of blood. The sight of blood was engraved behind my eyes. 

“Enmity and Ire.” 

But for the time being, I could just pretend that Min Yoongi accepted me. That I wasn’t a big problem that needed to be eliminated as soon as possible. For now, Enmity and Ire could play pretend, at least for a little while that this was normal. So I just did that.

“Enmity and Ire.”