It's been a few months since that fateful day. The road to moving on was rough, and he can't really say he's okay now.

He's been avoiding anything that reminds him of her which was nearly impossible because almost everything is connected to her.

Seeing Joy's face almost everywhere wasn't helping at all, but he's trying.

His hyungs doesn't say her name anymore, it was like a taboo word among them. He knows they still talk about her and her group sometimes, but they make sure he hears nothing of it.

Changsub was the only one left with him in the dorm during their day off. They were each hogging the couches in their living room and Sami was in between them.

Sungjae had his eyes closed with a hand on his forehead and the other clutching a pillow in his stomach.

"Sami-ya..is your appa okay now? Has he moved on from her?" A yawning Changsub lying on his back on the other side of the couch asked the bengal cat as if her owner wasn't present.

It made Sungjae turn to the older one with squinted eyes and furrowed brows. "Seriously Lee Changsub?" He exasperatedly responded.

"What?! I'm asking your cat, not you," Changsub answered as a matter-of-factly.

He rolled his eyes, "As if Sami would respond. You're practically asking me since I'm the only person here." He sat up and started Sami's back.

"Well, since you caught on to what I was aiming for..why don't you answer me?"

He scoffed, "I'm fine, hyung. You saw me for the past months."

Changsub looked at him with a strange gaze, "Yes...I saw you avoid everything and refuse to feel anything. You're obviously still on the same place you were on the day you said you'll move forward Sungjae-ah."

"That's not true. I'm getting there."

"Can you casually talk about her?"

He nodded as a response.

"..without being hurt?"

He stayed still, making holes through the floor by staring blankly at it.

"Can you look at her without any feelings, including wanting to just run to her and hold her in your arms every time you see her?"

He arched his eyebrow and frowned at the older one's statement. "God..you make it sound so dramatic."

Changsub nodded nonchalantly, "That's because you are..dramatic. Can you just answer the goddamn question idiot, or do you want me to answer it for you?"

"If you already know the answer, what's the point of even asking?"

"I just want to hear it from you."

"Fine, I'm still not okay. There..I said it."

Changsub sat up to look at him earnestly. "That's because you're running away from it, Sungjae-ah. The thing is, pain..needs to be felt. Numbing pain for a while will only make it worse when you finally feel it. So feel it now that you still have the strength to go through it."

Running a hand through his hair, he let out a frustrated sigh. "It's always gonna be painful hyung, there's no easy way to this. But I guess you have a point, I am running away. Maybe because I believed the person who said, that time heals all wounds."

A scoff came out of his mouth. "What the were they healing? A cut on the arm? It sure as hell doesn't heal heartbreaks."

He laid down the couch again as Changsub laughed at his words.

"Do you really think she's moved on already?" The seriousness of Changsub's voice made him froze.

His mind went back to the days he tried to contact her, and even those small glances which he knew she noticed, but never returned. The pain was gushing over him like an angry river.

"No, I didn't think she did hyung..," he sighed bitterly. "She made me feel, that she did."

Changsub didn't respond, he didn't know what to say to make the maknae feel better. Because if he was to be honest, he himself won't also know what to do if he