Victoria had all the girls gather around a low, brown coffee table in the middle of the living room. They sat quietly while she carved fruit for them, then placed it on a table with a fork for each member. 

They thanked her and nibbled on their fruit as they all contemplated each other and the possibility that these were the people they would be going forward with. Amber and Victoria were already pretty close, and Amber knew Krystal and Sulli were already pretty close and Amber herself was close with Krystal. 

“I guess we should all introduce ourselves again. To start fresh,” Victoria said, taking on the role of leader of the group since she was the oldest and the rest of the girls were sitting around looking like nervous teenagers. 

“My name is Song Qian. I’m from China.” 

“China!” Sun Young exclaimed. She seemed to get excited easily. Amber found herself smiling at the girls rounded eyes. 

“Yes, China.” 

“You speak Korean so well!!” 

Victoria bowed her head humbly. “Kansamnida,” then gestured across the table at Amber. “I think after me, the next oldest is Amber. The rest of you still have baby fat on you cheeks.” 

Sun Young touched her face self consciously while the rest of the girls just giggled. Amber knew Victoria hadn’t meant anything bad about it, but she wasn’t sure about the tanned girl. It seemed to have struck upon one of her insecurities. Amber knew about those. She herself was rife with them. 

“I’m Amber Liu, from the U.S. California.” 

“Daebak!” 

Amber chuckled at another exclamation from Sun Young. She turned her head toward Krystal since she knew her most. 

“I’m Jung Soo Jung. I was born in California, but I’ve spent most of my life in Korea.” 

“You speak English?” Sun Young asked, impressed. It was a skill she wished to learn better when she had more time, but her hours were already full with dancing, singing, and acting lessons. 

“Yes, but I’m more comfortable with my Korean,” she said shyly, covering her face with her hair and leaning against Amber’s side. Amber took her hand under the table. 

“I’m Choi Jinri, born right here in Korea. I’ve been struggling to get rid of my Busan dialect,” she laughed loudly. “How is it?” 

Amber shrugged. She wasn’t fluent enough in Korean to really tell the different dialects. 

“You’re good,” Sun Young said. She looked around at the other girls. “I’m Park Sun Young. I’m also from Korea.” 

Sulli reached across the table and took her hand, happy with the automatic kinship that gave them. Amber and Victoria’s eyes met, they had their Chinese language in common, while Amber and Krystal had their American roots. She was sure they would find they had even more things in common with each other and more things different as they spent time together, but so far everyone seemed nice and ready to work together. She was used to being on sports teams as she’d spent many years in Track and Basketball, so she knew the foundations or a good team were the people you were working with, their cooperation and desire to reach the finish line together. 

She squeezed Krystal’s hand beneath the table and the younger girl smiled at her. It would be so amazing to debut with her best friend. 

They had two days of heaven, just getting to know each other and even having moments of forgetting that they were still in a fierce competition, but then they got a knock and a notice. 

Victoria took the sheet from the man in glasses, there were so many that they’d stopped trying to learn their names, skimmed over it, then passed it to Sulli to make sure she’d read it correctly. Sulli nodded and passed the list back. 

“What is it?” Amber asked. Krystal wrapped her arm around Amber’s and dropped her chin on her shoulder. She’d just woken up and was still tired so used Amber as her standing bed. 

“It’s a schedule. It lists breakfast times, group training times for appearances, dancing, television. We have to learn how to be in front of a camera. What to say, what not to say.”

Amber felt an electric shiver run through her body. This was it. This was really it. She wished she could call up Yuri for some more advice, but they’d had their phones, which had been restricted before, confiscated in these months leading up to their debut. Her heart felt trapped in her chest not being able to contact her family so she’d been relying even more on Victoria and Krystal. Sometimes she found herself especially clinging to Victoria because the way she spoke Chinese to her and sometimes put in broken English reminded her of her mom. She kind of wanted to go to her for a hug now, but instead she gripped Krystal’s hand. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” Krystal whispered so only Amber could hear her. “It’s gonna , but it’s gonna be okay.”

Her heart rate steadied itself and she felt a smidge more confident. She’d been grouped with some of the best there were, so obviously they saw something in her. She didn’t know what more she could do to prove herself, but she’d definitely be digging down to her very core to give the watching eyes even more to consider. She was determined. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

She’d thought the old training was hell, but apparently, they’d been being babied. She barely had a moment to herself. She woke up, barely got to look at the other girls properly as they shoveled in their breakfast, then they were in one class after another until they dropped down into their beds utterly defeated. Sometimes they ended up arguing with each other out of exhaustion, but they could hear doors slamming in many of the rooms on their halls so they knew they weren’t the only groups who were suffering. They all wanted this. 

Amber’s pants were getting loose again from all the stress and lack of down time. She hated seeing the hollows in her cheeks and knew her mother would be worried if she could see the shadows of her ribs. The muscle and healthy fat she’d gained under Yuri’s tutelage were pretty much gone. She knew the older girl would be upset if she saw her. 

She did what she could to try to control the insomnia by wearing herself out, but her mind wouldn’t stop working at night. Krystal tried to help by chatting with her over her worries before bed, but she’d end up just falling asleep on Amber’s shoulder. It was soothing lying next to Krystal, but she hardly ever slept anymore. She just hoped she didn’t let it show. They expected thin, hollowed out girls. They certainly wouldn’t accept one who couldn’t make it through routines though. 

Two months of the crazy intense training and they got another knock on their door. This time sheets were delivered for each of them. Amber’s heart fluttered nervously wondering if it meant they were going to be split up, but it just had a few different classes listed for each of them and Amber was relieved to see she had an empty spot in her schedule every day. She wanted to use it for rest but she also sort of worried it was a trap. She was getting paranoid. Why didn’t the other girls have rest periods?