In a cold November night, he received a phone call that made his body as cold as the glass of his window. It was close to midnight when Choi Eunjung called his cell phone, and with whispered small defeated voice she told him….

“Hongbinn-a, I am pregnant.” She quietly announced into their phone call. “I took 3 test from the convenient store, all of them said it was positive. I missed my period by 2 weeks, this doesn’t happen to be Hongbin, my life is organized. I will go to the doctor tomorrow, I will take a better test. But I doubt the result will be different, test pact these days are very good.” Her sentences were broken down to simple information, atypical to Eunjung.

Hongbin was stunned. He found no words, on his lips nor his brain. For the first time in a long time, life took Hongbin by surprise and he was not at all prepared. And it’s not something he can just laugh off, and brush under the rug. “Is it mine?”

“Yes…. I told you, I don’t go out often, and I have not been with anyone else in the last month.”

Silence.                                

“Eunjung-a….” he doesn’t know what to say to her. He have yet to wrap the idea around his head. His bran was struggling to process the information. And the implication it would have on his life. Her life. Their life, was there even a ‘they’ to begin with? Because they have not talked to each other since Hongbin woke up on an empty bed in September. HIS CARREER!!! What would happen to his career? His image? Starlight…… Her… Eunjung, at the end of her master’s degree with a good prospect in her field. Her career. She will be a mother at 25. HE WILL BE A FATHER AT 25!!

“Hongbin….” She echoed his silence. Her voice still quiet. And with a heavy sigh she said “I’d call you again tomorrow, after I saw an OBG. We’ll talk about our option then.”

“…. Our option?” but he was too late, she had hung up the phone and he was left with a dead line.

Hours later Hakyeon came home from a shooting. As usual he make his rounds around the 6 bedroom apartment. He found Wonshik surprisingly home, passed out on the couch, snoring like a diesel machine with his overgrown puppy that was comfortably tucked under his armpit, snoring away like his father. Sanghyuk’s room was empty, it’s either they boy spend it in the studio or away at his friend’s house, Hakyeon made a mental note to text him later. Jaehwan is heard banging they keyboard from behind his closed door, thus Hakyeon didn’t bother checking. And Taekwoon he saw on his way in the kitchen, making himself some hot tea, ever since getting ill last month, he was banned from coffee until the doctor said otherwise.

But Hongbin’s room was uncharacteristically silent. At this time he would be cursing like Jaehwan had been. Though not as loud. So Hakyeon made his way to younger man’s door, he found it slightly open. The lights were out. But he can saw Hongbin was sitting on his bed, silent, in the dark only lit by a sliver of moon light that has escaped the blind he drawn tight around his tidy room.

“Kongs… what are you doing.” Hakyeon said softly, afraid to see his junior still. His soft words seems to bring Hongbin to this dimension.

Slowly Hongbin turned his head in the direction of Hakyeon’s voice. “Hyung…” Hongbin sounded so weak and lost. Hakyeon hadn’t heard Hongbin like that in a while. Not in the last year at least.

“Kong-a, what’s wrong? Why are you in the dark?” Hakyeon rushed in trying to get closer to Hongbin, checking his condition. As soon as he got there he placed the back of his hand on Hongbin’s forehead checkin if he’s sick. He’s not. He touched his hand. Hongbin was cold. “Kong-a, you’re cold what are you doing sitting in the cold without a jacket, this t-shirt is too thin.” Came around his motherly side.

“Hyung…” Hongbin made a move to grab Hakyeon’s hand, to stop him. Because all of the movement the older man was making is making him dizzy. “Hyung, I ed up.”

“What? What happen? Lee Hongbin?”

“Hyung I killed our career.” Hongbin looked up, his eyes dazed. “Hyung I hurt Byulbit.”

“Lee Hongbin, you are scaring me right now. Tell me what happen?”

“Hyung, I’m so stupid. How did I let this happen?”

“LEE HONGBIN! YOU STOP MAKING ME WORRY MY HEAD OFF AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPEN.” Hakyeon raised his voice. He knows he sounds scary when he does, and this seems to do the trick. It shook Hongbin out of his trance. When Hongbin looked up again to meet Hakyeon’s eyes, his eyes were more focused.

“Hyung, I’m going to be a father. I got a girl pregnant.” He said. And looked down at his hands. Ashamed.

“What….?” Hakyeon said quietly, not seeming to believe his ears.

“Eunjung, high school class mate. Pregnant. Mine.” Hongbin said, not making any attempt at forming a coherent sentence.

Hakyeon reach out to Hongbin’s bed side table and turn on the table lamp. He need to see Hongbin’s face clearly.

“Are you sure?” he assessed the damage, and Hongbin does indeed looks shaken.

“She said it’s mine. She haven’t ed anyone else since, she is not a I know, I on the other is a stupid . She is going to the doctor tomorrow.” A deep sign, no one knew from which man. “Hyung, what have I done? Hyung, what do I do??”

“Oh my…” Then Hakyeon kneeled in front of the Hongbin’s bed and pulled his friend of 8 years in an embrace. He let Hongbin’s head rest on his shoulder. It was then that he felt the weight of Hongbin’s evening.  

The moment his head touched Hakyeon’s shoulder, he felt like his defense broke. He felt like he was a child again, having to face a problem bigger than himself. And he let go. Hongbin haven’t let go in a long time. But tonight he did, because tonight was when the things he thought was the nature of his person was ripped out of his hands and put through a food processor.

He felt the warmth that radiated off of Hakyeon. Usually he doesn’t let Hakyeon hugged him for too long, but tonight he let it happen. And he took full advantage of the comfort that his leader has to offer. And without any warning, he cried. Lee Hongbin broke down and cried, just like when he was a desperate idol trying to prove that he was just not a pretty face.

His hands cluthed the material of his pants and his tears are wetting Hakyeon’s soft sweater. He felt the older man offering more comfort as he moved the hands that were wrapped around his shoulder up to the back of his neck, to caress the roots of his hair. And the other hand moved to rub his back in a comforting way.

“Hyung, I’m sorry.”

“Shhhht… It’s okay, we can get through this, we will talk about it, and we will find a way to deal with it. We will weigh our options.”

“What option, hyung?” Hongbin said, pulling back from the steady presence of the older man. “She said it too, before she hung up. ‘We will talk about out option’. What other option do I have hyung?”

Hakyeon looked at Hongbin straight in the yes, and at that moment he saw just how young this man actually is. “Hongbin… there a lot to figure out about this situation. We also need to talk to her and to the agency.”

“Isn’t it clear what to do?”

“No, Kongie, no. It’s not simple. There’s no sure thing what to do.”

“….. don’t I have to marry her and raise the child now? Isn’t that the only proper thing to do at this sitation?”

“Have you talked to her about this?”

“No, she hung up. Well I froze, then she hung up. And told me she will see a doctor and call me again tomorrow.”

“Then talk to her again. Weigh the options.”

“What other options? N-Hyung.” Hongbin pushed.

“Hongbin, you do not always have to have the baby. If she doesn’t want to, then it will be simple. It can go away, especially if she is able to keep it a secret.”

“Hyung, are you saying that I should….. Hyung, you can’t be serious.”

“Hongbin, do you seriously wants to have the baby? If she doesn’t want the baby, then you do not have the responsibility to want the baby.”

“Hyung, I can’t do that. No….”

“Listen, the fact that she told you to wait and see your options, means that she is not closed to the idea, she haven’t made her mind up yet. If she was set on having the baby, she would told you so.”

“But…. No. I can’t do that.” Hongbin stuttered, he looked lost.

“Kongs, honestly, right now it’s not up to you. She have to make up her mind first before you can do anything, and even then we will find the best solution. We will get through this together.”

Hongbin stayed silent. His brain going a mile a minute.

“Kongs, just sleep. We will talk about it again in the morning.” Then Hakyeon pulled away and got up from the floor. He pulled the covers of Hongbin’s bed and pushed the wide man into a horizontal position. “Good night, I’d see you in the morning.”

And Hakyeon walked out of Hongbin’s room. Turning up the heater on his way out.

Taekwoon was on his way back to his room when he heard the loud voice of Hakyeon. His friend rarely ever raised his voice outside of the rehearsal room, at home he whines and nag. But he doesn’t shout. So he approach Hongbin’s door, where the sound was coming from. And lean against it, doesn’t want to invade on the privacy, but also wanting to know the reason what Hongbin did to make Hakyeon raised his voice so late at night.

Then he heard it.

And he slid down the opposite wall.

Jung Taekwoon is a man that adores children and babies. But he never though that he would froze to the news of potentially having another one in his life.

Jung Taekwoon is a man of love and commitment, but never once had he wished this would not be true.

After a few minutes, Hakyeon walked out of Hongbin’s door. And he was presented with the image of his friend sitting on the floor, tea mug half-filled now tih disgustingly cold liquid. “Taek…..”

“I heard it, Yeon. I heard what happened.”