Lately, he’s feeling worse. The others finally notice and worries over him. But he manages to brush it off with his warm and reassuring smile, telling them that he’ll be fine.

He’ll never be fine.

One afternoon, Yunhyeong manages to convince them that he’ll be fine and that they should grab something to eat. As they leave, his smile falters slightly.

‘No, I’ll be fine. As long as they won’t find out, I’ll be fine.’

He closes his eyes, breathing slower now as his chest begins to feel heavy. He can feel it, it’s getting closer now. He should feel angry, sad, scared. But strangely, Yunhyeong feels calm.

Maybe it’s because he already accepted his fate.

His eyes begin to water again as he feels another wave of emotions. He’s selfish, he knows it. But maybe being selfish just this once would be alright. He couldn’t be selfish with him anymore, because he doesn’t have the right to do so.

‘We’re not together. But I am my own person, so maybe….just maybe…I can be selfish for myself.’

But Yunhyeong is not that selfish. He doesn’t just suddenly leave. No, he already prepared this. Gathering his last ounces of strength, Yunhyeong sits up and reaches over his bedside table, pulling the drawer and takes out six envelops for his six friends. The others have already been sent, it’s just these remaining ones. He then plops back to bed, coughing and wheezing. After catching his breath, he lays out the envelops beside him, smiling softly as he gently pats them. Yunhyeong then closes his eyes, taking a couple of breaths.

‘I guess this is it…’
Exhaling softly, Yunhyeong opens his eyes and looks around the room one more time. His eyes were feeling heavy, but there’s one more thing that he wanted to do. He takes his phone and unlocks it, going to the gallery. He scrolls through pictures of his friends—of them together. Yunhyeong smiles fondly as a gentle, soothing warmth spreads across his chest, eyes going teary once again as he relives the memories through pictures. He will certainly miss them all, he really will. Maybe his decision is stupid—not wanting to let his feelings go just for him—but then again, Yunhyeong knows that he is a stupid person. And that person makes Yunhyeong do stupid things as well.

But he never blames him.

It’s never his fault.

He pauses at a picture as another coughing fit wrack his body, only this time it becomes stronger. He curls up afterwards, panting heavily as he clenches his chest, his phone pressed against his heart. Holding back a sob, Yunhyeong slowly turns to lie on his back, eyes closed as he tries to calm his rapid heartbeat. He brings a hand to wipe at the saliva trickling down his mouth. He pauses, however, when he smells something different from the liquid. Opening his eyes, Yunhyeong looks down at his hand, blinking slowly as he sees a smudge of red painting his skin. Glancing at the edges of his pillow then down his chest, he sighs.

‘This is it.’

Folding his hands on his stomach with his phone facing upward, he closes his eyes and inhales deeply. Exhaling, he opens them slightly to gaze up at the ceiling as seven petals of red camellia keeps him company during his final moments.

‘I wish I could see him one more time…’