When he woke up that morning, Yunhyeong was greeted by the presence of a pounding headache. He stays in bed, unable to open his eyes due to the blaring light. The others are busy, and he is grateful for that. For once, Yunhyeong is thankful for being alone. He doesn’t know how long he can endure before it breaks.

Thinking back to the past, he notices that every vivid memory that he has involves him. He couldn’t even accurately remember what happened three weeks ago before this all started. But the memories from years ago—the specific memories—he can clearly recall as if it was just yesterday.

Yunhyeong exhales shakily, his throat tightening again. This time, however, it wasn’t because of another incoming coughing fit, but it’s because of throbbing ache and the pain that he feels roaring in his chest. He slings an arm over his eyes and swallows thickly once again, inhaling deeply and exhaling shakily.

He knows that there’s a way out of this. He knows that he’s still not too far into it. He knows that he can still be saved.

If he wants to be saved.

Biting his lower lip, Yunhyeong begins to ponder. Does he want to lose his feelings for him and live? Does he want to forget the fond memories that caused his feelings to bloom? Does he want to unlove the person that he has been loving even before he become aware of his feelings?

No.

Never.

Yunhyeong continues his breathing, though each exhale becomes more unstable as his shoulders begins to tremble. He bites his lower lip hard to cease it from wobbling.

‘I’d rather die than to stop loving him.’

He then begins to cough, but this time, he doesn’t bother covering or silencing it. He lets his cough out freely along with his tears. The tears that he has been holding ever since.

‘If I were to die, I would happily go as long as the last thing I feel is my heart beating once more just for him.’

Yunhyeong sniffs silently, moving his arm to cover his mouth instead. His sobs cannot be heard by anyone anyway, but he does not even want the walls to hear of his pain anymore.

He cries in silence, but not in solitude. Scattered beside him lies six petals of pink carnation.