iii. skirmish

[ mozart - andante ]

CHAEYOUNG.

As I heard the sound of our metallic apartment door unlock, I stood jittery at the entrance to greet Jennie. I feel so tensed whenever I think of what her reaction would be if I told her what my mom and I had agreed on. This is more nerve-wrecking than the confession I made to her years ago, maybe because I already know how she would probably react to this.

"Hey." Jennie lowly greeted as she found me in front of her, I quickly noticed her dark vibe again. It wasn't good. "You have something to say, right?" she asked as she takes off her stilettos in exchange for her fluffy home slippers. "Did something happen?" I asked out of intuition, her skeptic face bothered me somehow. Did that ex-boyfriend of hers did something? Or is it just that week of the month already?

But before I could overthink scenarios again, she shook her head. "No. Why would there be?" she replied with composure, "I'm just tired, I think." she added with an impassive expression as she excused herself to go to the bedroom. I followed her from the back with worry screeching at the back of my head.

"So, what were you going to tell me?" She asked as she sat down on the bed, searching in my eyes for an answer. I nimble my hands as I awkwardly twist my body many times, "Uhm. . ." I hesitated but gained confidence right after and said, "I'm going to France."

She huffed a hard laugh underneath her breath as her eyes swiveled up thinking I'm hilarious, "If you have plans to make me look stupid then not tonight, Chae. I'm not in the mood."

Her words crippled my optimism, but I was determined nonetheless. I stood silent for a minute as the atmosphere crumbled into empty space. I tilted my head down, "You're really going aren't you?" she finally realized, "." she cussed while her furrowed eyebrows were becoming sharper while looking away.

I looked her in the eye this time, "I'm studying there again." I said. She ridiculed a bitter laugh, "Oh, don't with me, Chae." There goes her moral compass faltering down again. She doesn't really know how to control her use of language.

"I'm serious, Jennie. My mom said Augustin wants to personally teach me in his academy of advanced music." I explained while holding my breath.

"What? That bald hair french pianist we met at a private ball?" Her choice of words were irritating to my ears, the way she addressed the man I always dreamed to mentor me was too offensive to take.

"He's not just a bald french pianist, Jen. He's the man I've always looked up to since I was young." I tried letting her see my point of view and how important this opportunity is to me.

"And also the same man who's making us argue right now." She placed her hand on her forehead as she massaged her temples. "I don't want you to go to France." She said with a tone of finality. I puffed a groan in frustration, "You just don't get it do you?"

Augustin is the renowned pioneer of modern classical music, I still remember the first time I attended his concerto years ago in France. His fidelity to his compositions made me realize how important authenticity is to a musician. Since then he inspired to be one like him, to be someone who indulges into his craft deeply and let his soul be attached. I wanted to be someone who was bold enough to take steps to revolutionize music. I was able to be better than best, throughout the years, It has been my dream to have him as my mentor and now the opportunity has finally come, I couldn't afford to miss it, or could I?

"I thought you just had dinner but now you're talking about leaving? How am I supposed to get all of that, huh?!" her exasperation resonated through out the room, as I saw a blazing fire igniting inside her eyes. I clenched my jaw as rage was proliferating inside me as well. I heaved out a sigh, "I just what you to think about it." I clasped my hands together.

"No. I've said it for the last twelve months, no." Her lethal eyes stabbed me in the heart, I did not see any room of understanding beneath her orbs. It was disappointing, heartbreaking, the least.

"Baby, couldn't you see? I'm asking you to sacrifice a little... consider my dreams for once." I tried softening my voice for her to somehow restore the calmness in the atmosphere. To no avail, she rolled her eyes as she gassed out air in exhaustion, I sighed. "Imagine if I studied advanced clavier in France I could be so much better." I tried convincing her again.

"And leaving me here? You know I don't do long distance, Chae." Her eyes widen with annoyance, I tried staying calm for her, and for this argument to hopefully subside. "I know. That's why I want you to come with me." I prompted.

"Are you hearing yourself right now?" she grumbled and stood up. "We're finally on top of our career now Chaeng! We can't just drop and leave, we would sacrifice too much of everything." Her phrases were foreign to my ears, I furrowed my eyebrows. "Am I hearing you right? Why do you suddenly care about your career here? Isn't your passion for arts is what's important just much as I care for my music than anything else?"

"You don't expect that I'll just agree to restart over in France after everything I've done here in New York." She said in rebuttal. I pulled myself closer and knelt before her. I slowly grabbed her hands, caressing it as soft as I can. "We can escape from the toxic media here, you know. You can learn french art, while I'll be studying for Augustin. We can see the Eiffel tower every morning, you don't need to worry about your parents anymore. Isn't that much easier?"

Then again, silence overpowered. I saw my girlfriend's body growing stiff and bleak. I saw her opening but took a moment of hesitance before finally speaking up, "I met mom earlier." she spilled. My mouth stood shut, as I saw distress appearing on her face and eyes gloaming a shade darker.

"She still thinks I'm lunatic, running my own nonsense life, and that I'll never escape the curse of my inheritance. " She looked inside my eyes in torment and agony, she was scared. Telling me that the dreadful memories resurfaced again and she's suffocating. Again. "I'm still not done proving her wrong, Chae. I don't want her to think that I ran off to France because I've given up. I can't lose my pride, not now when I've just regained it back."

"I thought, you pursued arts because it makes you happy but why does it feel like you're already doing this for revenge?" I summoned a question out of murkiness. "Grow up, Chae. Sure impeccable emotions such as happiness creates art too, but anger and vengeance are the reasons why masterpieces exist. Feeling is a big part of the arts, and I'm using the ones I'm familiar with to create my own. Revenge i