xvi. lunisolar

[ pachelbel - canon d ]

LISA.

Duvet days came to conquer the previous months. Like an everyday daydream coming true, my heart was filled with gushes and flurries -  just the utmost beautiful feelings. Jen was the reason of it all of course. Since her classes started, I thought she'd be preoccupied most of the time and would probably keep a safe distance from me but oddly enough, it didn't turn out that way. She wanted me to visit her every night, she demanded dates, late night walks, motorbike rides, sunset talks. Oddly enough, she wanted me to stay. Now every heartbeat was about her, every glances, every touch. More meaningful than the other. "So do you have any rendezvous of choice for tonight, Manoban?" An enthusiastic skirt-wearing gal appeared in front of my motor with a feline smile as if she was commanding the dying streetlights to wake. 

Just the girl I've been thinking of. I gaily thought as I handed her a helmet. "Perhaps I do and it's your lucky night." I invoked. She playfully smirks in response. "Hmm. Mind to enlighten me?" I crinkled my eyes hoping that i'd be more cuter than I imagine "I was planning on taking a trip with you to the moon" 

Jen's face was of surprise and amusement, playing along with the lightness. "Ooh. The outerspace. I would've been down for that. " She added as she locked the helmet around her chin. "But I did a reconsideration." I buckled up my stance, grabbed the left handlebar, and swung my right leg over the seat with my feet standing steadily on the ground. "Why do such mistake?" Her face crunched in confusion as she hopped in at the backseat as I kick start my engine. I placed the ball on my right foot and onto the kick start lever and I firmly pushed down in force. With it, the roaring sound of my engine started to vibrate over our bodies, demanding the enticing thrill to be felt.

"Is it?" I turned my head around to face her while having the hopes of making her laugh, I then uttered. "Because I was thinking of saving it for our honeymoon." There was a quick pause when I heard her amused laugh scoring through my ears. "You silly romantic." She softly teased. From then on the night was sweeter for I can only hear her voice of grace. "So what's the other option then?" She tapped with curiosity. "For now, I can take you in someplace that's close to the moon." I answered as my motorbike drifted to speed. A night of bliss has started again.

...

Calming as it was in the eyes from the shoreline, I still can hear it's scream. The flashing of waves, the madness of the sea breeze, and the water hollering in chaos with the entirety of the ocean wanting to be heard. Yet all were just drowning one another in saltiness. Beastly, as you call it. Yet the ocean can only be so endearing as the moon, for the lunar entity takes power over the waters when the king of the day seeps into sleep. Only controlling half of what is whole. For nature says, the ideal power is balance and all creation should acknowledge it.

"Can you feel it from here?" I raised my chin up to let the breeze caress my skin, "The pull of the moon?" I continued. We were laying over a fuzzy blanket accompanied with a champagne of mimosa as we gaze through the vastness of the Jones beach of Long Island. We were half close to the shore, just the right amount of distance for admiration. "You know what I love about the moon?" A glow in her face appeared, I raised my eyebrows in question. She then faced the gleaming queen above us. It was Saturday. October 9th. I still remember the excitement I had this morning when I found out that a full moon was coming, elating my heart to pounds of thousands knowing it was a perfect day to take Jen on a date along with the shores of New York. My attention went back to my girlfriend. My eyes stood in wonder of her as she took a deep sigh before answering, "Is that whenever the moon vests its power, it is never blinding. It is not like the sun that just beams it's arrogance over, expecting people to praise him of his delinquency. The moon, however, is graceful and glorious, serene yet spectacular. That's why whenever you feel her pull, you feel at peace with everything."

"What about the ocean? It never was and has never been peaceful. Why doesn't the moon calm it's waves?" I asked as I stare across the dark roaring waves of the sea. So rigorous. As if they were jaws reaching out to eat us. "An ocean in chaos is an ocean at peace. Like a mad person who finds tranquil in being free to be mad." Jen muttered as she popped the bottle of mimosa and poured it in to our glasses. Sharing a toast for the night. She leaves me in awe again. Her mind just speaks languages I adore.

"So glad I'm not the ocean." I blurted out my sarcasm, "What do you want to be then?" Jennie smirked at my words. "I don't know... the moon maybe? I mean who wouldn't want to have control over the seas." I answered back. "Why not the sun? you're a ball of fire." she invoked me to rethink. "Because maybe I don't have that kind of power." My voice was listless, I looked away because I knew my smile was fading. Perhaps, it reminded me of who I was in Jen's life. I couldn't help but overthink again. I am a just moon of hers, she's the ocean mine. I, owning only what's half of her whole. Though I am as equal as the days, I still feel powerless whenever I see Jen's eyes spark whenever someone speaks of Roseanne—her sun.

"Nonsense. Of course, you have." She spoke as if I was saying the silliest of things. "Do I?" I doubted. I guess a little liquor would save me from my worries. I said at the back of my mind as I continuously drank. 

"But what if the ocean needs to choose, which one would she think is more sovereign?" I asked as I hear the wind daunting. "But does she need to think when she gives total surrender to both the sun and the moon?" 

I need you to. I whispered in my thoughts. Or continuing this would be maddening for me. Instead of spilling these words out, I stood shut and dispensed it to the breeze. "I'm just wondering who she loves more" I replied with hesitance. 

In a while, I felt her body closer against mine as she moved, "Look at me" she muttered. I slowly turned my head to face her and with it, her left hand traveled down my wrist and onto intertwining it with my fingers. We both looked down, spurging the feeling of each other's skin. It was surreal. "If I made you question my feelings for you again, then ask me so I can remind you."

My head went low, I felt my hot breath going hectic. I was too agitated to ask what happened. This morning. When she met Roseanne again for the first time in the longest time. 

As I felt my throat stuck, i knew I had to throw it out. I huffed a short laugh. "Well, unfortunately, I was reminded this morning." I told her. "I saw the way you stared at her again - at Roseanne? It was like a slap on the face and that overpassing her will forever be impossible."

And when I saw defeat on Jen's eyes that was it. I was right. I lose again. She can't even deny it.

ROSEANNE.

Stuck. That's not just a way to describe what I've been feeling lately but I am literally in a circumstance of such. By the time I took a right, my Ford Fairlane started to be bumpy, later did I realized that my front tire deflated. "Seriously? Now that I have an important errand to go to? Just great!" I screeched out of frustration as I opened the door and checked the tire. The sun was waving. The road was kind of empty, there were just few pedestrians, and I'm barely halfway to my destination. 

I was planning to compromise and cry myself in annoyance but a beep and a buzzing engine sound came out from nowhere, it caught my attention. A grey Aston Martin emerged from the streets and stopped just ahead of mine. I can only stand still and watch the car's door open.

Her black go-go boots was the first thing I saw when she came out. I can tell she was fashion savvy. But one thing that left me dumbstruck was her familiar feline eyes. Those haunted me ever since, and i can't tell if I missed looking at it - but I was sure that my heart couldn't contain the bloodrush that I felt when we locked gazes.

Jen. 

In a flash, all the memories re-established itself in my mind as it was just yesterday I tasted her lips for the first time. Her reeling flavor running through the cracks