ii. dreamstate
The Renaissance of A Romance
ii. dreamstate
[ liszt - liebesträume ]
CHAEYOUNG.
The brazing sun that dawned our apartment's balcony made the busy streets of the metropolitan visible beneath us. Jennie decided to ditch me in bed to grab her paint tools at 3 am and headed to the balcony to paint. It's already been four hours and she's not even half-way done. I may never know the mind of an artist but I know how excruciating it is to express the creations of your mind in a way you best know. Sometimes, it never lives to your expection so you do it over and over again, until you drain yourself. As a matter of fact, both of us do it most of the time. Yet everything is worth it because you love what you do, you embrace what you do. This is the beauty that art and music share, it lets you convey your passion in marvelous ways.
"Come have breakfast first." I said as I sat on the chair right next to her and embraced her from the sides. Her dark brown orbs were solely fixated to her canvas as her hands were busy her paintbrush. She didn't fiddle and continued painting,"You look more beautiful when you concentrate." I said in admiration. She finally put down her brush and faced me, "Baby, thanks. But I really need to finish this or else it will come off my mind."
I nodded, "Alright, I'll just leave you then." I let her go as I planted a kiss on her forehead,"I'll be in the couch if you need me."
...
After binge-watching disney movies until 7 pm straight I finally heard footsteps coming inside, finally she's done."Chaeng, you need to see this." I turned around to face her from afar. I saw her smile widely, I got excited myself and rushed with her to the balcony.
My eyes fixated in a mural canvas standing by its stretcher. From what my eyes can depict, I'm seeing a girl in a white long dress with a sheer face, she looks mystical but melancholic. The wind was blowing her dark brown hair to the side as she stands in the middle of what I believe, the grand central station, a clock was there. The peculiar thing about this is, Jennie didn't drew the modern grand central, it was kind of old and antique but it was mystifying, nonetheless.
"I dreamt about it." my girlfriend said behind me. I moved closer to the canvas, a cold feeling started traveling down my spine. Why does it feel familiar? Like I've been there before.
"Did you wonder why you've dreamt about it?" I asked in curiosity as I continued grazing my touch over the canvas. "Yeah. I can't figure out why would you be standing in the middle of grand central?" Jennie's staggering words raised every hair on my skin, as goosebumps reached in. I looked at her with eyebrows meeting, suddenly I felt nervous. "Me?" I asked. She hummed in reply, "Yes, that's you. You were standing in the middle." she pointed the girl in the canvas and made me looked at it even more. The longer I stare at it, the deeper my confusion gets. "What did you saw in your dream, Jennie?" I asked again.
Jennie's eyes swiveled above trying to recall her dream, "It was kind of tormenting. I saw it as a sheer face first. She was just standing there, then a tear was rolling down the girl's blank face as the wind continued to caress her hair. I stared at the clock and found out that the hands were moving, when the clock at exactly nine, an explosion came out from nowhere. The girl's face vividly appeared before me again, I looked closer and realized it was you. I wanted to hold you but everything disappeared in ashes." She eloquently described.
Suddenly I dissipated into imagination, or so I thought. Cryptic images flashed before my eyes, as if it were real memories, I see an old city, an urban coffee shop, a clock ticking like a time bomb, an antique piano, people walking in grand central, a tear drop, a man holding my hand, a girl screaming in agony, then a sound of a crash. My heart ached as if it vacuumed all my energy into dust.
I held onto my chest, "Chaeng, are you fine?" Jennie grabbed me by the shoulder as I regained my stance.
"Yeah, it's just odd." I said in total strangeness. "What's odd?" she asked back with eyebrows knitting.
"Your dream, your painting. I felt it. Like I've been there." I tried sounding more realistic but I didn't knew the right words. "Of course, you've been to grand central. A couple of times." She mumbled, trying to not make a big deal out of it, but I know Jennie was feeling bizarre as well. She's just rejecting the feeling.
"No, I meant everything. Even the explosion." I said with eyes full of assurance, but my girlfriend snorted out of disbelief. "Come on, Chae. It's just a dream, dreams are made to be strange but never realistic." Well, her words made a point, but why does it sting so much? I should just ignore this right? I was in mental battle.
"Anyways." Jennie clasped her hand to gain my attention back, "Shall we go out tonight? I'm hungry." Jennie shifted mood, her face was playful again. I was still transgressed over the feeling the painting gave me, like I should know something. But I need to feed my hungry girlfriend first before anything else so I'm just gonna keep it all back in my head.
Speaking of dinner, I totally forgot that I've got plans with my mom tonight. She just came from Korea to visit me, well technically not me, she wants to attend Cossi Fan Tutte, a classical mozart opera piece which will be performed at the Metropolitan Opera House. Her dear elite friends wanted to waste time and critique the piece, and now mom's decided to have dinner at eight.
"I'm sorry I forgot that mom's in New York and she wants to have dinner with me tonight." I informed Jennie and her expression was subtle, she became silent for a moment. "You're gonna talk about France again?" she asked with her eyes focusing everywhere except mine. I sighed. Here we go again, I thought in worry.
So it's been over a year since mom have convinced me to go and make my career famished in France and hopefully study their too, the only thing keeping me from going right now is my stubborn girlfriend right here. I just hope she sees how important this is to me.
I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know. We haven't talked about it in a long time." I said. She locked eye
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