Limbo

Chapter 12: Mending Bridges and Building Support

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Still reeling over his argument with Baekhyun, Jongdae didn’t know what to do when he sees Junmyeon waiting for him in Limbo. He barely managed to muster up an acceptable response when Junmyeon greets him, and he could tell that Junmyeon knew something was wrong judging by the way the other’s smile faded. Junmyeon took a small step closer, concern written all over his face.

“Did something happen?”

Jongdae whined a little. “Baekhyun and I got into a fight.”

“A fight?” Junmyeon repeated, “Are you okay?”

Jongdae shrugged. He was as okay as he could be.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Junmyeon pressed. “I won’t try to force you if you don’t want to, but if you need to vent, then I’ll listen.”

Jongdae didn’t even need to consider the offer. He had spent the evening alone in his room, repeating Baekhyun’s words over and over in his head until they drove him crazy. Now, he needed another person’s opinion to ground him and help him work out the bitter taste on the back of his tongue.

“Can we sit down first?” he asked.

Junmyeon nodded and made to sit at the foot of the closest tree, but Jongdae shook his head and gestured through the trees. “Can we go sit by the lake instead?”

“Sure.” Junmyeon straightened up and the two of them wandered through the forest until they found themselves at the edge of the silent, gray lake.

Jongdae sighed as he sat down. The sight of the motionless water calmed his restless nerves just a bit, but he still couldn’t bring himself to look Junmyeon in the eyes as he began to explain. “Baekhyun and I got into an argument earlier. Basically, he said that he doesn’t like the fact that I come to Limbo. He knows that I don’t choose to come here–and I’m not saying that I don’t want to come here–” Jongdae hastily added, “–but he still tore me apart for something I can’t control.”

Junmyeon didn’t respond, but Jongdae didn’t want him to. Not yet anyway. He still needed to finish telling the whole story.

“After he yelled at me for coming into Limbo, he said that he felt like I’ve become obsessed with…Limbo.” Jongdae managed to catch himself before he accidentally admitted to being obsessed with Junmyeon. “Apparently, I’ve been neglecting my friends for a while now, which is also why Baekhyun is so mad.”

“What did you say to him?” Junmyeon asked.

Jongdae shook his head. “I didn’t get a chance to say anything. I was shocked because I didn’t realize what I was doing, so he left. Pretty sure he’s staying with Chanyeol.”

“You should talk to him,” Junmyeon advised, “Give him some time to cool down, and then the two of you need to sit down and discuss the issue.”

“I know,” Jongdae sighed, “I know we need to get together and sort our out. I just needed someone to vent to because even though I messed up, I still don’t appreciate the way he spoke about you.”

A long silence dragged out before Junmyeon quietly said, “I’m sorry.”

Jongdae looked up, staring at Junmyeon in bewilderment. “For what?” Then, upon seeing Junmyeon’s expression, he realized what the other was thinking and hurried to correct him, “No, hyung, it’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for any of this either.” He didn’t bring up what Dr. Zhang told him as he reached out for Junmyeon’s hand, only to stop when he remembered that Junmyeon might not appreciate it.

He was surprised when Junmyeon reciprocated the action, silently clasping Jongdae’s fingers in his own. Dark clouds of guilt still hung over Junmyeon’s head, and the man himself gave off the vibe of a kitten that had just been rained on.

“Hyung, listen.” Jongdae moved closer to Junmyeon. “I know you didn’t ask to be stuck in Limbo, and I know you can’t help all the stuff that’s been going on. I don’t blame you for anything. Really.”

“I know,” Junmyeon said, “But I still feel bad. Baekhyun is your friend, and I can only imagine how he must have felt when you got hurt because of my panic attack.”

Jongdae traced comforting circles on the back of Junmyeon’s hand with his thumb. “That wasn’t your fault either. Your panic attacks aren’t something that you can just stop having.” He offered Junmyeon a small smile. “I’ll talk to Baekhyun soon, and we’ll work something out. It’ll be okay.”

Yet despite his confident words, Jongdae had a feeling that it would be easier said than done. He didn’t see Baekhyun on campus that day, but after his morning class, he caught sight of Chanyeol striding towards him at an alarming pace. His friend lacked his usual smile, and Jongdae expected a punch to the face when Chanyeol stopped and looked at him.

“We need to talk.”

Jongdae nodded meekly and trailed after Chanyeol like a scolded puppy as the latter searched for a secluded place. In the end, they settled down at a table on the second floor of the library, where their fellow students were too busy studying to pay attention to them.

“So,” Chanyeol started in a whisper, “what’s been going on with you lately?” When Jongdae opened his mouth, Chanyeol added, “And don’t try to bull me. I know something’s been off, but Baek hasn’t told me anything.”

Jongdae didn’t feel like he had a right to ask but did so anyway. “Is Baekhyun okay?”

For a split second, Chanyeol’s mouth tightened and a steely look crossed his face, reminding Jongdae that he was currently sitting across from Baekhyun’s boyfriend and that he was lucky Chanyeol didn’t greet him with a fist to the gut.

“Baek cried,” Chanyeol replied shortly, “Not in front of me, but I could tell because his eyes were red when he knocked on my door.”

Now, Jongdae wished Chanyeol would punch him, but the latter merely leaned back in his chair, crossed his legs, and looked at Jongdae expectantly. With queasiness tossing in his stomach, Jongdae reluctantly spilled everything to Chanyeol, bracing himself for the worst.

When Jongdae finished his explanation, Chanyeol let out a heavy sigh and tilted his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose. He remained in that position for a while. This was one of the few times Jongdae had seen Chanyeol so quiet, so he stayed silent as well, letting his friend have a chance to process all of the information that Jongdae unloaded. It took Chanyeol several minutes before he lowered his arm and straightened up. For a moment, Chanyeol looked as though he had something to say, but then, he changed his mind and stared out the window, chewing thoughtfully on the inside of his cheek. When he spoke at last, it was to bluntly admit, “I have no idea what to say.”

A mirthless laugh slipped through Jongdae’s lips. “I thought Baekhyun would have told you all this.”

“I thought he would have, too,” Chanyeol grumbled, eyebrows still furrowed in thought. “So that’s what Baek meant when you were hospitalized, when he asked you what happened in Limbo with Junmyeon.”

Jongdae nodded slowly as a memory surfaced. “Wait, if Baekhyun didn’t tell you anything, then how did you know about the handsome man in my dreams that time we went shopping?”

“That’s because Baek told me you met a handsome man in your dreams, but I thought it was one of those normal dreams, you know?” Chanyeol uncrossed and re-crossed his legs. “So besides me and Baek, who else knows about this?”

“Dr. Zhang.”

The two of them sat in silence for a few seconds after Jongdae listed the medium’s name. Jongdae waited for Chanyeol’s response, while Chanyeol waited for Jongdae to throw out some more names. When none came, Chanyeol’s eyes widened to the size of oranges, and he leaned forward in his seat.

“That’s it? You didn’t even tell your parents and brother? Jongin doesn’t know either?”

“I was scared that my parents would send me to a mental hospital, okay?” Jongdae defended. “Baekhyun talked about Limbo possibly having something to do with a mental illness, so I got paranoid.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Chanyeol murmured. He took off his cap and brushed back his hair, smoothing down loose strands before putting his cap back on. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“Uh.” Jongdae blinked. “I’m not completely sure. Probably just keep meeting with Dr. Zhang until this Limbo stuff gets itself sorted out.”

“Mhm,” Chanyeol hummed and gave him an expectant look.

Jongdae sighed, knowing that Chanyeol was right. “And I need to talk to Baekhyun so we can get this mess sorted out.”

Chanyeol nodded. “I think that you should tell your family as well. Maybe not all of them at once. You could probably tell your hyung first and then both of you could break it to your parents. It might be scary, but they have a right to know if something’s affecting you so much.”

Jongdae hoped that the issue with Limbo would be resolved before he needed to tell his family, but to placate Chanyeol, he merely nodded and said, “Okay.” After a heartbeat, he added, “I think I want to tell Jongin.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol agreed immediately, “do you want me and Baek there for support?”

“Baek’s mad at me,” Jongdae reminded him.

“Not for long,” Chanyeol grinned, “He wants to talk to you, but he thinks you’re still mad at him, so he’s been wishy-washy about whether or not he should text you first. I’ve seen him start and delete a few messages now.”

“I’m not mad.” Jongdae looked down at his hands. “Well, I was at first, but I spoke to Junmyeon last night in Limbo, and I just want to talk to Baek now.”

“I’ll help you with that,” Chanyeol promised, “I can convince Baek to go to your dorm later this afternoon. Or evening, I mean. You have class in the afternoon, right?”

“Yeah.” Jongdae tapped at his phone, checking the time when the screen lit up. “In fact, I should probably go get lunch now,” he said as he stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder.

“Alright. I’ll see you around. Bye.” Chanyeol waved as he reached for his own bag.

“See you.” Jongdae started to walk away but then paused and turned back. “Thanks, by the way. For not punching me the moment you saw me.” He didn’t wait for Chanyeol’s response before hurrying out of the library.

Chanyeol kept his word. Jongdae was in the middle of dinner when he received a message from Chanyeol stating that Baekhyun was packing up and getting ready to head back to the dorm. Jongdae’s nerves jumped at the news and he took deep breaths to force himself to calm down and continue with his day normally.

The sun had become an orange streak on the horizon when Jongdae heard the sound of a key being inserted into the lock of the dorm. He bolted upright as the doorknob turned and the door opened. Baekhyun stuck his head through the crack, peeking around like a cat checking for nearby threats. He froze when his gaze met Jongdae’s. Then, he swallowed and said, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Jongdae replied, watching as Baekhyun slowly stepped into their dorm, shutting the door with a quiet click. Jongdae beckoned Baekhyun closer, patting the empty spot on the couch. “How have you been?”

“Okay,” Baekhyun mumbled as he slid his bag off his shoulders and sat down. “How about you?”

“Same,” Jongdae replied, “I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun glanced at him from beneath dark lashes. Then, his gaze darted back down to his lap. “I’m sorry, too,” he said, “For yelling at you like that, and for saying that stuff about Junmyeon. I thought about it some more, and it’s not his fault, I guess.”

Jongdae stretched out a tentative hand and tugged lightly at Baekhyun’s sleeve in a small attempt at aegyo. “I shouldn’t have neglected your thoughts and feelings,” he apologized, “From now on, I’ll make sure to keep you in the loop about what happens in Limbo, okay?”

Baekhyun nodded and didn’t shake off Jongdae’s hand, which Jongdae took as a good sign. “I’ll stop being so pushy about you and Limbo. I know you can’t help it.” Baekhyun twisted his hands together. “I’ll…try to be nicer about Junmyeon, too. It’s not completely his fault either.”

Jongdae stuck out his pinky, and Baekhyun grinned before extending his own. They hooked their pinkies together, sealing their promises as they lightly tugged each other back and forth.

“You know,” Jongdae began, “I thought you would have told Chanyeol about Limbo.”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I almost let it slip a few times, but it was never my thing to tell.”

All of a sudden, it felt like they had never fought at all. In fact, during a second meeting with Dr. Zhang a few days later, the medium said something that made Jongdae want to shake his head and smile in resignation.

“One thing to be careful of,” Dr. Zhang stated in towards the end of the session, “is that Limbo tends to put a strain on the person’s relationships in the real world.” His gaze flicked between Jongdae and Baekhyun. “You two seem to have a strong friendship though, so I wouldn’t be too worried.”

Jongdae and Baekhyun exchanged brief glances, and Baekhyun let out an awkward laugh. Dr. Zhang blinked blankly at their reaction, so Jongdae took it upon himself to explain, “We actually just had an argument about Limbo this past week.”

The medium made a noise of understanding before offering a small smile. “Well, I am glad to see that you two made up.”

Jongdae was definitely in a good mood when they left Dr. Zhang’s house, and judging by Baekhyun’s upbeat humming, the latter was, too.

“Are we meeting up with Chanyeol and Jongin now?” Jongdae asked as he slid into Baekhyun’s car and buckled his seat belt.

“Chanyeol is already at the restaurant,” Baekhyun said as he checked the rearview mirror. “He said he would get us a table. I think Jongin is on his way.”

“It’s the restaurant that has the really good kimchi spaghetti, right?”

Baekhyun smiled as he drove the car into the street. “Well, it’s the only one we can afford, so yes.”

Jongdae whined as he sank in his seat. “Now I just feel attacked.”

Baekhyun’s raucous laughter filled the car. Jongdae smiled. It felt good to have Baekhyun back.

Jongin and Chanyeol were chatting at a secluded table when Baekhyun and Jongdae entered the restaurant. As Jongin hunched over, shoulders shaking in laughter in response to something Chanyeol said, Chanyeol looked up and waved, teeth flashing in a wide smile.

“Baekhyun-ah!” Chanyeol’s deep voice reverberated through the room.

“Chanyeol-ah!” Baekhyun responded with the same enthusiasm as the two of them briefly linked hands before Baekhyun slid into the seat next to Chanyeol.

“What, do I not get a greeting?” Jongdae joked.

He regretted it just the tiniest bit when both Baekhyun and Chanyeol stood up and wrapped their arms around his shoulders, hopping on the balls of their feet as they yelled variations of ‘Kim Jongdae’ and ‘Jongdae-yah’ in his ears. Jongdae’s head collided with theirs painfully as he squawked at them to stop. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing at their antics, so neither Chanyeol nor Baekhyun took him seriously.

The couple finally decided to stop teasing Jongdae when Chanyeol accidentally slammed his knee into the table, knocking over his and Jongin’s drinks. Once the mess was cleaned up, Chanyeol and Baekhyun returned to their seats, cheeks and ears red from embarrassment. As they bowed their heads in apology to the other diners, Jongin recovered from his fit of laughter to say hello to Jongdae.

“Did you ever find out why you got sick?” Jongin asked after they had ordered their food. Chanyeol’s and Baekhyun’s gazes immediately zeroed in on Jongdae, silently urging him to tell Jongin the truth.

Honestly, Jongdae didn’t need their prodding. Ever since he left Dr. Zhang’s office, Jongdae had been feeling a sort of euphoric confidence. Somehow, telling Jongin about Limbo and Junmyeon seemed like it wouldn’t be a problem at all. It probably seemed easy because Chanyeol and Baekhyun were sitting with him and supporting him the whole way.

Jongdae took a sip of his iced water. “Have you ever heard of Limbo?” he asked Jongin.

Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed a little. “Um, I know about the Limbo that has to do with the afterlife in religious stuff. There’s also that game that Markiplier did a playthrough of on YouTube. Which one are you talking about?”

“Definitely not the game,” Jongdae said, “But I don’t think this Limbo is exactly the Limbo that religions talk about either…”

 He wasn’t doing a good job of explaining if Jongin’s bewildered expression was anything to go by. “Okay…?” Jongin said, “I don’t really understand your point though.”

Jongdae floundered for a different way to explain Limbo before ultimately deciding to just repeat the things he told Chanyeol. “It’s a gray world, you know? The souls of people who died go there to…to…”

Jongin was now giving him a concerned look.

“What Jongdae means to say,” Baekhyun interrupted, “is that he’s been dreaming of a gray world called Limbo for a while now. While the rest of us are having nightmares of failing our finals, ‘Dae is taking walks in a pine forest with a man called Junmyeon.” A sly smile crept onto Baekhyun’s face as he practically sang Junmyeon’s name, and he had the audacity to laugh when Jongdae glared at him in warning.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jongin said, “are you guys trying to play a joke on me? I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

It took quite a bit of bumbling on Jongdae’s, Baekhyun’s, and Chanyeol’s parts to get the message clear enough for Jongin to understand, and even then, the youngest of their group still looked a little befuddled when the waitress arrived with their orders. However, he never once expressed any skepticism, and when Baekhyun asked if he believed them, Jongin responded with a slow nod.

To tell the truth, Jongdae hadn’t expected Jongin to believe them so easily. He, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol were well-known pranksters, so if all three of them tried to convince Jongin that Limbo existed, it would seem more as though they were trying to play a trick on him. Jongin had known them for a while now, long enough to become victim to quite a few jokes where all three members of the beagle line ganged up on him for laughs. He had every right to be suspicious.

Yet it was probably because he had known them for this long that he could also tell when the trio was treating a topic seriously, and that was why he decided to take a leap of faith and believe what they were telling him, even though he still eyed them suspiciously as they ate their lunch.

Once they finished, Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol played a game of rock-paper-scissors to determine who would be treating. Baekhyun – complete with childish whining and resigned smile – lost and went up to the register with Chanyeol on his heels. As those two walked away, Jongin turned to Jongdae and said, “You guys really aren’t joking about Limbo?”

Jongdae smiled humorlessly. “Not this time, Nini.”

Jongin studied him with an unreadable expression. Normally, Jongin’s emotions were easy to read. It was always obvious if he was feeling happy or sad, excited or tired, but this time, no matter how closely Jongdae examined Jongin’s features, he found that he couldn’t get a grasp of Jongin’s thoughts at all.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jongdae asked.

Jongin blinked as though he hadn’t realized he had been staring. “Nothing, hyung,” he said, averting his gaze to a sauce stain on the white tablecloth. “Just thinking about stuff.”

Jongdae wanted to ask what Jongin was thinking about, but the latter’s eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. Years of friendship told Jongdae that he wouldn’t get anything out of Jongin now, so he could only settle for a short hum before turning to Baekhyun and Chanyeol, who had just returned to the table.

After they gathered their things, Baekhyun offered to drive them all back to campus. While Chanyeol had been eager to accept, Jongin declined, saying that he had somewhere else he needed to be. They bid Jongin goodbye at the front of the restaurant, and the latter left with hurried steps.

Throughout the ride home, Jongdae couldn’t help but worry about the fact that Jongin had refused to look at him when they parted.

A/N: Needed a relaxing chapter so we can all calm down after the storm Jongdae went through (｡´-д-)

I also got a Curious Cat account recently, so feel free to come and talk to me here ^^