Limbo

Chapter 7: Beautiful Dream

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“Let me guess: you have more questions,” Junmyeon said as soon as Jongdae sat up. The art student couldn’t identify the emotion in the other’s voice, but he smiled anyway.

“I told you I can’t control it!” Jongdae whined as he brushed off his hands.

When one corner of Junmyeon’s mouth twitched, Jongdae realized that the man had only been playing around. A rush of blood warmed his cheeks even before Junmyeon said, “Relax, Jongdae. I was just messing with you.”

“I knew that,” Jongdae grumbled rather petulantly. He cleared his throat in an attempt to hide his embarrassment and tried to redirect the conversation in a different direction.

“Have you ever seen someone called Oh Sehun in Limbo?”

Junmyeon frowned and shook his head. “No, the only other soul I’ve seen is Kyungsoo. Why do you ask?”

“My roommate, Baekhyun, searched Kyungsoo up on the Internet, and we found that he is suspected to have been killed by Sehun,” Jongdae explained as he dragged the tip of a fallen twig across the dirt, sketching out a cartoonish owl. “I was just wondering if Sehun is here, too.”

“Kyungsoo never talked about his death, but then again, I only saw him for a short while,” Junmyeon mused, “How did he die?”

“The article said that Kyungsoo was stabbed to death with broken glass, but he apparently fought back and hurt Sehun badly enough to kill him,” Jongdae repeated what Baekhyun told him. The tip of his tongue protruded from his mouth as he tried to draw wings for his owl.

“I see,” Junmyeon murmured as he watched Jongdae sketch the bird, “I think Sehun is probably somewhere in Limbo, too.”

“How can you tell?” Jongdae looked up from his drawing and blinked owlishly at the other.

“I’m guessing.” Junmyeon shrugged as he picked up a fallen leaf, twirling it between two fingers before letting it fall back to the ground. “Did you tell your roommate – Baekhyun, right? – everything that I’ve told you?”

Jongdae thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, pretty much everything. He was confused about the structure of Limbo.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at Baekhyun’s confused expression the first time Jongdae tried to explain it to him.

“What…did he say?”

“Nothing much. He teased me about wanting to meet Oh Sehun though,” Jongdae half-sighed, half-whined as he remembered his roommate’s sly smirk. Then, he thought of Baekhyun’s speculations about Limbo. “He also thought that Limbo was a result of some kind of mental illness, like some kind of hallucination.”

The art student was still looking down at the owl drawing, so he missed the falter in Junmyeon’s expression before the latter pressed his lips into a thin line and looked away. Jongdae finished drawing his owl, and as he dropped the twig to the ground, he realized that Junmyeon was being rather quiet. He glanced over at the man at the same time Junmyeon opened his mouth.

“Do you think I’m not real?”

Jongdae blinked at the question. “Well,” he started contemplatively, “I think you’re real.” At that, Junmyeon turned around to meet his gaze. “But people who hallucinate usually think what they’re seeing is real.”

Junmyeon’s closed-off expression didn’t change, and his hard look didn’t falter. However, Jongdae wasn’t done with his thoughts.

“But if you think about it, hallucinations occur when the person is awake. With Limbo, it’s when I’m asleep, so I feel like this is pretty real,” Jongdae finished, nodding to himself in satisfaction.

Junmyeon nodded slightly at Jongdae’s reasoning, although he looked neither pleased nor displeased by the art student’s conclusion. Jongdae observed Junmyeon carefully, slightly worried about why the latter looked so forlorn all of a sudden.

“Did I upset you?” The art student asked carefully, not wanting to offend Junmyeon.

The man glanced at him before lowering his gaze back to the ground. “No, you didn’t.”

Something told Jongdae that that was a lie.

He watched Junmyeon for a moment longer before an idea came to mind. Jongdae glanced around the forest, taking in the sight of the gray land, and pushed himself up off the ground. He dusted himself off and looked up to see Junmyeon watching him in confusion. Wordlessly and a little nervous, Jongdae gestured to the trees that stood before them and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Want to go for a walk?”

Junmyeon looked at him for so long that Jongdae was sure the man would say no, but he was mildly surprised and very pleased when Junmyeon slowly got up from where he sat on the tree root, smoothed down his clothes, and stepped a little closer, waiting for Jongdae to lead the way.

The art student started walking, and out of his peripheral vision, he saw Junmyeon follow him. There was a distance between them, but that did not stop Jongdae from intermittently glancing over to his right so he could steal glimpses of Junmyeon. The other kept his gaze focused on the ground, carefully picking his way through the trees.

“Can I call you hyung?”

Junmyeon stumbled at the same time Jongdae bit down on his bottom lip. He didn’t know what compelled him to ask that question. Jongdae had merely wanted to break the silence that was between them, and what better way was there than to ask a question. However, Junmyeon’s reaction made Jongdae wonder if he was about to get rejected.

“Um.” Junmyeon had regained his balance and was staring at Jongdae with wide eyes. “I suppose you could…but why?”

“If you don’t like it, then it’s ok,” Jongdae quickly backtracked, “I just thought that we were getting to know each other, and you’re older than me, so…” His words sounded lame to his ears, but he couldn’t stop himself. It reminded him of a snowball rolling down a hill, growing bigger and bigger with every tumble.

“You can call me hyung,” Junmyeon interrupted quietly, easily putting a stop to Jongdae’s word vomit. The art student swallowed nervously, mumbled a feeble ‘okay,’ and turned away to hide his embarrassment.

The two of them continued to walk at a leisurely pace through the gray forest, keeping a distance between them and remaining silent. Jongdae was mentally screaming at himself for his awkward bumbling earlier, missing the furtive and curious looks from Junmyeon.

In the end, it was Junmyeon who broke the silence, startling Jongdae and making him jump a foot in the air. “What is Baekhyun like?”

“He’s noisy,” Jongdae said when he got his heart rate back under control, “He’s a film major, and he’s Chanyeol’s boyfriend. Do you remember Chanyeol?”

Junmyeon put on a thoughtful expression. “The music major? Plays a hundred instruments?”

Jongdae laughed loudly at Junmyeon’s exaggeration. “That would be impressive, but he plays guitar, drums, and keyboard. He’s got enough energy to give Baekhyun a run for his money.”

“You talk quite a bit, too,” Junmyeon pointed out bluntly, but Jongdae couldn’t bother getting upset because he knew it was true.

“Yeah, I do,” the art student admitted easily, “Our dongsaeng, Jongin, calls us the beagle line because we’re all born in the same year and all three of us are pretty active.”

“What does Jongin study?”

“He’s a dance major. Dances ballet or to pop music mostly.” Jongdae ducked under a low hanging branch. “What were your friends like?”

“Well,” Junmyeon paused, eyebrows furrowed as though he was trying to remember the people he spent time with when he was alive, “they were pretty laid back, as far as I can remember, although some of them had their crazy moments.”

As Jongdae listened to Junmyeon talk about his friends, he realized just how alone Junmyeon was in his space in Limbo. The only other person Junmyeon had met was Kyungsoo, and he had to wait for a portal to spring up so he could travel to another space to do it. He wondered if Junmyeon was lonely.

“Do you ever get lonely here?”

Junmyeon didn’t look surprised at Jongdae’s question. Instead, one side of his mouth twitched upwards in a wry smile. “I don’t think I could get lonely with you around.”

The art student opened his mouth, only to close it again when he couldn’t figure out if that was a compliment or an insult. Junmyeon’s smile widened at the bewildered expression on Jongdae’s face, but he made no effort to elaborate and merely turned and kept walking.

“Wait, are you teasing me again?” Jongdae whined, picking up his pace to catch up. When Junmyeon’s smirk only grew bigger, he continued to gripe for a bit and only stopped when it became clear the other wasn’t going to say anything.

Jongdae was still pouting when the two of them found a large pond in the middle of the pine forest. He flopped to the ground unceremoniously when Junmyeon suggested they sit for a while. The art student could sense the waves of amusement flowing from Junmyeon as the man settled down as well.

The two of them sat at the bank of the motionless pond with two feet between them. Junmyeon stared across the expanse of water, while Jongdae picked up a few pebbles from where he sat and tossed them one by one into the pond, watching as the water rippled before settling back into its smooth, undisturbed state.

It was quiet between them, but Jongdae didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Unlike Baekhyun, he didn’t have the urge to talk constantly. In fact, it was because of the silence that Jongdae could hear the soft humming that came from his right.

Jongdae listened to Junmyeon’s singing for a moment before speaking up, “What song is that?”

The humming stopped. “It was a song that I was composing before I died.”

The articles appeared in Jongdae’s mind, and he pressed his lips together as he remembered the circumstances surrounding Junmyeon’s death. He also remembered his promise to not say anything until Junmyeon brought it up himself, so he didn’t respond and merely nodded. “It’s a nice song.”

Junmyeon smiled crookedly and turned away.

As Jongdae watched Junmyeon hum quietly to himself, a thought planted itself in his head. It made Jongdae’s stomach twist inside him and squeezed at his chest. There was a light burning sensation at his eyes and his nose felt a little clogged, but he blurted out the thought anyway.

“I really want you to be real.”

Somehow, Jongdae didn’t feel nervous when Junmyeon stopped humming and turned to stare with a look of surprise. Instead, the prickling in his eyes stayed, giving Jongdae the feeling that he was about to cry, yet no tears fell and his voice remained steady. Jongdae knew he was staring intensely, but he didn’t want to look away, fearing that Junmyeon wouldn’t take him seriously and brush him off.

Then, the corners of Junmyeon’s mouth twitched, and Jongdae watched with bated breath as a shy but genuine smile settled on Junmyeon’s face. The pressure around Jongdae’s chest tightened slightly, squeezing the breath out of him. Neither of them said anything as Jongdae was tried to get his breathing under control. Junmyeon looked away first, covering his mouth with the back of his hand in embarrassment. Jongdae continued to look at the other, heart thumping wildly when he realized that for a moment, Junmyeon looked happy. It wasn’t the polite smile that Junmyeon put on when he greeted Jongdae, nor was it the reserved simper he wore when he teased Jongdae.

Now, the art student’s chest swelled with pride at the thought that he was the one responsible for Junmyeon’s happiness, however brief it was. Unfortunately, he could feel himself leaving Limbo and waking up in the real world, so he hurried to say goodbye to Junmyeon.

“Hyung!” Jongdae waited for Junmyeon to look at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow night?”

He didn’t hear Junmyeon’s answer because everything turned black, and when his vision returned, he found himself blinking at the nightstand that was beside his bed.

Instead of being disappointed, Jongdae leaped out of bed with a vigor that he had long forgotten and rushed to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face to wash away the dregs of sleep and freshened up in record time. After practically shoving his contacts onto his eyes, Jongdae sat himself down at his desk, grabbed his sketchbook and pencils, and began to sketch on a clean page.

He was still drawing when Baekhyun came into his room forty-five minutes later. The film student peeked at the sketch over Jongdae’s shoulder and immediately asked, “Is that–?”

“Yep,” Jongdae answered without looking up or even stopping his pencil. He chewed on his bottom lip lightly as he focused on getting the right texture for the hair.

He felt Baekhyun withdraw and heard him shuffle towards the door. “There’s food in the fridge if you want it. It’s in the Tupperware on the top shelf,” his roommate said before closing Jongdae’s bedroom door. The scuffing sound of Baekhyun’s feet dragging across the ground faded as the film student walked away.

It wasn’t until noon that Jongdae finally stopped sketching and leaned back to look at his work. After making a few edits here and there, Jongdae found himself very satisfied with the drawing. With one smooth motion, he tore the paper from the sketchbook. Fishing two thumbtacks from his drawer, Jongdae pinned the sketch to the wall in front him so that Junmyeon’s smiling face was easily visible.

Jongdae wanted to stay and stare at his work some more, but at that moment, his stomach let out a loud cry, reminding him that he was still starving from having skipped breakfast. Casting one last glance at the sketch, Jongdae smiled as well before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind him.

A/N: Hey, guys. I know it's been a while since I've last updated, but I hit a major case of writer's block, and I have multiple writing projects going on right now. I don't intend to abandon this story though, so don't worry! On a completely different note, I hope the Suchen moment was satisfactory xD

'Til next chapter!