Limbo

Chapter 5: The Final Portrait

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Jongdae fidgeted in his seat at the roots of a tree while Junmyeon stared him down. The man had his arms crossed over his chest and a disapproving gaze in his eyes. “I seem to remember you promising that you would stop coming here if I answered your questions.” Junmyeon pressed his lips together into a thin line, fixing Jongdae with a hard stare.

The art student plastered on his most charming smile. “I have more questions,” he repeated Baekhyun’s suggestion as sweetly as he could and watched Junmyeon raise an eyebrow.

The man seemed to be struggling with himself, but after a moment, he let out a resigned sigh and sat down at the base of another tree. With a victorious grin, Jongdae knew he had won.

“What else do you want to know?”

. Jongdae had forgotten to prepare a few questions. The articles about Junmyeon’s death pushed their way into his mind, but Jongdae quickly shoved them away. Now wasn’t the time to ask; he had to wait for Junmyeon to bring it up first.

The art student wracked his brains for something to say so that Junmyeon would stop boring holes into the side of his face. He picked out the first thing that came to mind, even though he knew it wasn’t actually a question.

“You know, I remember this friend I had when I was a kid,” Jongdae began, “His name was Kim Minseok, and I know he was sick a lot. I think he had to start staying in the hospital when I was four or five years old.”

He chanced a glance at Junmyeon and jumped a little when he saw the other staring at him with rapt attention. Jongdae hadn’t been expecting Junmyeon to listen so intensely, and he tried to maintain his cool by hugging his knees to his chest.

“Sometime after getting admitted, Minseok started talking about a boy who would play with him while he was sleeping. Our parents thought he was just being a kid and saying kid stuff. Even I didn’t know how strange that was. I just asked him about the boy.” Jongdae laughed dryly, running his hands through his hair. “Now that I think about it, they were probably meeting in Limbo.”

“They most likely were.” Junmyeon’s answer was sudden but not unwelcome. “What was the name of the boy?”

Jongdae gaped for a moment before forcing his mind to work. “I think it was Luhan, but I’m not completely sure. I just know it didn’t sound Korean.”

Junmyeon looked thoughtful, scratching at the dirt in front of him as he nodded gently. “That name isn’t familiar to me, but I am willing to bet that your friend – Minseok, was it? – was appearing in Luhan’s space in Limbo every night.”

“Why would he appear in Limbo though? He wasn’t dead yet.”

“Kyungsoo told me three reasons why someone alive would be traversing to Limbo.” Junmyeon raised one finger. “First, that person is a medium and is purposefully coming here to talk to the dead.” A second finger. “Second, the person is about to die.” And finally, a third finger. “Or third, the person is contemplating suicide. Since Minseok was sickly, I’m assuming that he started appearing in Limbo for the second reason. You, on the other hand…” Junmyeon eyed Jongdae like a scientist observing his specimen. “…I’m guessing you’re a medium, and that you’re coming here purposefully to bother me every night.”

Jongdae wanted to laugh, but the sound was stuck in his throat. “Actually, I’m not a medium,” he confessed, “I’m not actually trying to come here; it just happens almost every night.”

Junmyeon looked shocked, and Jongdae could tell they were thinking the same thing at that moment. Both men shifted awkwardly where they sat, and neither of them could think of anything to say. The silence only served to fuel Jongdae’s thoughts.

Neither of the remaining possible reasons was appealing, although the suicide one was just untrue for Jongdae. Not once had he thought of committing suicide, not even when he felt that he wasn’t going to be accepted to any of the universities he applied for. That left only the second reason that Junmyeon listed, and it caused a feeling of paranoia to claw at Jongdae’s gut.

“Hey,” Junmyeon called softly, yanking Jongdae from the cloud of troubling thoughts. “I’m sure you’ll be okay. Maybe…maybe Kyungsoo was wrong…or something.”

Jongdae almost pointed out that Junmyeon didn’t sound so sure, but upon seeing the subtle worried expression on Junmyeon’s face, the art student held his tongue and nodded silently, somewhat thankful that the other was trying to reassure him.

“How are you doing in school?” Junmyeon ventured after another tense pause.

“Fine,” Jongdae mumbled, “I’m getting high marks on all of my assignments, but I’m stuck on my graduation project. It’s due in a few months, but I have nothing I feel like drawing.”

“I see.” Junmyeon’s voice trailed off, and Jongdae thought he detected a hint of longing in the man’s voice. “What do you usually draw?”

“Anything I feel like. I’ve drawn birds, cats, trees, flowers, my friends and family…” He also drew Junmyeon once, but of course, he wasn’t going to tell the other. Not yet anyway.

“Did your family approve of you majoring in art?”

“My mom said I could become whatever I wanted. My dad took a bit of convincing. He wanted me to pick a more stable career.” Jongdae smiled as he remembered how he, his mother, and his brother had to all pitch in to persuade his father and the happiness he felt when his father finally relented.

This time, it was Junmyeon who led the conversation, asking Jongdae questions and listening attentively to the art student’s answers. By the time Jongdae started to fade, the thought of him dying was pushed to the back of his mind, and he barely had time to say goodbye to Junmyeon before his eyes opened to the ceiling of his dorm.

Seeing as he had woken up a few minutes early, Jongdae laid on the bed, staring off into space. There was no longer anything distracting him from his thoughts now that Junmyeon wasn’t here, so his mind was filled with various scenarios: getting in a car accident, falling down the stairs, getting attacked by someone late at night. The ideas became more and more ridiculous every time until Jongdae was finally brought out of his quiet panicking by the sound of the alarm ringing.

Jongdae let the alarm ring for a bit, still contemplating Junmyeon’s words. Maybe Kyungsoo was wrong or something, he repeated to himself, trying to grab onto that shred of hope that he wasn’t nearing his death day. He rolled onto his side, shut off the alarm, and got out of bed.

As he washed his face, Jongdae couldn’t help but smile a little at how Junmyeon had tried to comfort him with hesitant questions. Despite the somewhat callous first meeting, Jongdae figured that Junmyeon was actually rather soft-hearted and most certainly did not deserve to die the way he did.

Suddenly, Jongdae stopped, overwhelmed by a sudden desire to draw Junmyeon. He groaned silently at how untimely the urge was, seeing that he had classes soon and couldn’t afford to sit down and do some drawing. He would have to wait until lunch break.

Baekhyun was already gone by the time Jongdae walked out of the dorm, so the art student walked to class alone. Jongdae’s two morning classes crawled by as he bounced one leg impatiently, eager to start drawing before the desire vanished. As soon as the professor dismissed the class, Jongdae packed his things and hurried out of the room, pulling out his phone at the same time to fire off a message to Baekhyun.

To: Baek

Got the urge to draw today. I’ll join you, Chanyeol, and Jongin for lunch next week.

Sent 12:53 pm

After receiving Baekhyun’s reply, Jongdae pocketed his phone, bought a sandwich from a café, and headed to the south side of campus. There was a large courtyard waiting for him when he arrived. There weren’t many people, and those who were there usually kept to themselves. It was the perfect place for Jongdae to work on his art in peace or for when he wanted to be alone in general.

Settling down at the base of the oak tree that stood in the center of the courtyard, Jongdae set down his bag and pulled out his sketchbook and pencil. He unwrapped his sandwich and took a large bite, relishing in the taste of chicken, as he picked up his pencil and poised his hand over the white sheet of paper, ready to draw.

Uncertainty flooded him like water breaking through a dam. He knew what he wanted to draw, and he was certain that he could draw it, but he suddenly forgot how it should be drawn. What kind of expression should Junmyeon have? A lonely one? Jongdae tapped his chin with his pencil, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

An idea struck him, and Jongdae reached for his phone, opening up a search and typing in ‘Kim Junmyeon’ in the box. He hit enter and waited for the site to list the results, tapping his fingers erratically against his knee.

The first source Jongdae read gave him the information he was looking for. It started as a letter of mourning for Junmyeon, most likely written by a classmate or a friend, then went on to describe bits of Junmyeon’s personal life. Jongdae scanned the paragraph, picking out a few details here and there such as the fact that Junmyeon was valedictorian of his class, that Junmyeon’s family was rather wealthy, and that Junmyeon had a protective older brother. Overall, there was nothing too extraordinary about Junmyeon’s life.

The art student exhaled sharply and took another large bite of his sandwich, chewing fervently as he put his phone away and picked up his pencil again. Screw it, he decided.

He started with the sides of the face, drawing two short lines that were roughly parallel to each other. Then, he extended them on the bottom, making the lines meet to form the chin. By this point, he was so focused on drawing that he forgot to chew his food, only remembering when a bit of it fell out of his mouth and onto the drawing. Nevertheless, Jongdae continued to draw after wiping the mush away with a napkin.

He gave the hair a light outline, planning to return to it afterward to give it its texture and volume. With a few quick , Jongdae drew the ears, although they were messy and slightly lopsided if he looked carefully, but that wasn’t Jongdae’s focus this time around. He moved on to the face.

The nose was easiest, so Jongdae drew that first. He started on the left eye after that, giving shape to the eye with quick, solid lines. Two circular shapes, one smaller than the other, became the iris and pupil. Eyelashes were added, and Junmyeon had creased eyelids, so Jongdae made sure to add that with a couple light dashes.

Once Jongdae had drawn the right eye to match the left as best he could, he moved to the mouth. The art student drew a slightly crooked line first for the place the lips met. Careful not to curve the line too much, Jongdae made the corners of the mouth a little downturned and began shading in the lips. When he was satisfied with them, he moved on to the irises of the eyes, and finally, the hair. After he was relatively happy with those, he added shadow.

Not once did Jongdae go back and redraw anything, and he finished the sketch a few minutes before lunch ended. As the students around him began to pack their things, Jongdae held up his drawing and looked at it.

The drawing was an organized mess, but Jongdae was pleased with the chaotic sketch. It wasn’t the best, he knew that, but it was so much better than the ones that he drew yesterday afternoon. This one looked right.

Hurriedly closing his sketchbook, Jongdae packed it back into his bag alongside his pencil and the half-eaten sandwich. Once he knew he had everything, the art student scurried off to his next class, where his mind was occupied with art techniques and Junmyeon.

A/N: Wow, it's been almost a month since I updated this. I hit writer's block a few times, and my college finals hit me pretty hard, so I haven't written as much as I'd like lately. Regardless, I hope you find this chapter satisfactory with a bit of Suchen interaction ^^

'Til next chapter!