[Wendy]

Of course, I know Irene love me. Just that… sometimes I don’t feel it.

It’s not that she’s trying to be distant, or she’s ignoring me. Sometimes, she’s just completely drowned with her books, lost in a different world that does not include me in it. Worse part is that our school’s prom was weeks away and I haven’t talked to her about it. I wanted to ask her to come with me since all students were required to come on the special day.

I just want to ask my girl to dance on that night…

And I badly want to talk to her about it.

But… but…

Lately, we don’t even talk as much. Well, I tried. If I have time in the afternoon, I drive for thirty minutes just to reach her school, spend time with her. However, our talks were usually filled with shallow words and useless exchange. She was busy studying for their coming exams and I, well, I didn’t want to disturb her. Then, the clock strikes 10 and I’d have to go.

            Parting, that’s the hardest part of the night. Sometimes, I just leave with only saying goodbye to Irene’s back. Sometimes, well, she’ll absentmindedly say good night while still memorizing the periodic table.

            No one knows how much it having books hogging your girlfriend’s attention all the time.

            And well, that afternoon wasn’t anything different.

            “Hey, Irene… How’s school?” I asked that regular afternoon. She was in her study table while I was sitting on her bed, staring at her. The moon was a sliver while her room was quite chilly. I had a blanket over me while she’s on her usual seat, drowned in a book, as usual.

            “There’s food in the fridge, Wends.”

            “Uh… great! Do you want me to sing for you?”

            “I think Seulgi would want to know.”

            “What’s one plus one?”

            “Two.”

            “I… see. Uh, Irene? I think my hair’s on fire.”

            “That’s good…”

            Conversations are lately like that and I tell you, sometimes it just plainly . Still, that’s the perk of dating a bookworm like Irene. And as much as it , I didn’t mind. Slightly biased but well, she’s Irene.

            I love her.

            “Why the long face?” Eric asked me while we were hanging out in the school’s cafeteria. More like Eric listening to some music scores while I was stuck munching on an apple with a faraway look in my eyes.

            “I’m not attending prom.” I muttered, a pout on my lips.

            He raised his eyebrow. “Really? After all your hard work for the event? You’re not joining?”

            “I can’t bring my girlfriend to prom. There’s no one to impress. I’m not going.” I stated, still lost in my own, troubled world.

            “Oh come on, Wendy! It could be fun! And you don’t exactly have to impress people in prom. You can just go there, make friends—(and blah blah blah, I literally lost focus at that point.)”

            Earlier, I received a text message from Seulgi saying that their prom happens at the same day and they were also required to come. That means I couldn’t ask her to prom because she has a different prom to go to. That means I’ll be date-less during our prom event with people who keeps eyeing me, here and there, because why the heck does Wendy Son not have a date? And I’ll just mope around, drown myself in love sickness and disappear in the ends of the world. (I also watched Carrie the other night and proms somehow terrifies me now.)

            Huh. I’m leading such a sad life.

            “—and you’re not listening, are you?” Eric demanded, with his deadpan look.

            I sighed. “I did. You said a bunch of words.”

            “Wendy!”

            I groaned, slumping my face against my palm on the table. “You don’t understand.”

            “It’s just prom, Wendy. Not the end of the world.” He raised his eyebrow at me. “Why? They’re not allowed to have outsiders in their prom?”

            “It wasn’t just about prom…! And yeah… their school does not allow it…” I paused, realizing that my feelings were being perfectly bottled up until now. “I-I just—I don’t know… I’m usually confident but being with Irene who was always smart and confident, it gives me jitters.”

            Eric gave me a comforting tap.

            “It’s just,  it’s always me who worries about everything, like a fusser. And our relationship must be going on for a while now but it still feels new and fragile. Like when I do one wrong move and it will all be over.” I paused. “It’s terrifying, Eric.”

            “Yeah…” Eric rolled his eyes. “Relationships are really terrifying. Like horror movies!”

            “I’m serious!”

            “I know!” He made a hearty laugh. “It’s just… you’re worrying for no reason. I’m pretty sure your girlfriend won’t suddenly cheat on you during prom night. I mean, she lasted more than a year dating an idiot like you. I think she’s meant to stay for a long time?”

            “A long time…?” I mumbled. “Not forever?”

            He shrugged.

            In fact, I was thankful for his words. I appreciated the words a long time far better than forever. Forever is such a big word and I think it would only make things more terrifying for me.

            “A long time…” I muttered again under my breath. Oh how much I hope so.

[Irene]

            “Have you talked to Wendy lately?” Seulgi asked after placing the last bit of flower bouquet in the middle of the table. It was a little over 6 PM and we’re finally finished decorating the school’s gym for prom the next day. “And wouldn’t these flowers die by tomorrow morning?”

            I didn’t answer Seulgi’s latter question. I literally burned at her first.

            Wendy… My heart panicked at the thought of her. I quickly took my phone out and was about to dial her number only to see her send a text.

____

Irene? You must be busy right now.
I’ll just go straight home tonight, okay? You need
your beauty sleep for tomorrow’s prom, hahaha

Love you, Irene

-----

            She rarely says ‘I love you’. And it dawned to me how much we haven’t spoken lately. No one knows how much I want to bang my head against the wall the next moment.

            “Are you okay? You look like you need to poop.”

            “Seulgi!”

            “What? Look at your reflection in the mirror. It’s accurate!”

            “Ugh!” I groaned, collapsing on a chair while rubbing my temples. “I’m screwed. Wendy must be disappointed at me right now or something, right?”

            “Why would she be? Did you have plans tonight?” Seulgi asked while munching on a bagel she hid earlier from the cafeteria without paying. She was acting like it was nothing and boy, I really wish she choke on her food. Pft… such a useless friend.

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