Baekhyun looked like he ran a marathon to arrive at the doorstep. 

"You're alive." Those were the first words I uttered. It felt like the pent up trepidation and anxiety were finally allowed a release the moment my friend materialised before me. He was alright after all. He's safe. That was what mattered. 

There was only once when Baek and I lost contact, and that was the night his mother passed away. He had thrown his phone on the couch and was crying in the corner of his room when I decided to intervene and climb in through his back door. 

I had genuinely feared that he might hurt himself that night. I had made thirty-seven calls, all ringing to what felt like an eternity. 

I made ten calls this week, yet it wasn't about the quantity. Each and everyone of them carried a weight and too many words that were indescribable. 

I smacked his head hard. 

Who was he to think that he could just hit my friend and run off for a holiday? A honeymoon? That poor boy had been nursing his bruise for a week, and Yeri was in utmost confusion towards our relationship and constantly looked torn between respecting me and showing me a bitter countenance. 

"We broke up. Mijoo and I broke up," Baek interrupted my speech suddenly. 

What?

And he visited my parents? Whatever for? 

"I needed answers. I wanted to know why they thought I was someone good to settle with. I guess I really wanted someone to help me sort out my thoughts. When your parents came to visit, many things they said inspired me to rethink some life decisions. I told them I lied about being with you, sorry about that. They weren't really mad, although your dad did threaten me with a piece of stinky ham asking if we ever had . Your mum was a lot more understanding about the whole...ordeal."

"I had saved up a bit of money, hoping to go to Japan with Mijoo, because as you know, I really wanted to see the cherry blossoms. But then I remembered I had promised you we would go together on a Kyoto trip if my company makes it eventually. And I owe you that." 

The list went on. He told me that he had wanted to watch another Kyungsoo movie, but realised it wouldn't be as fun without the inside jokes about Kyungsoo with Mijoo. She wasn't as close to him after all. 

He didn't like cooking for her as much because she was on a much stricter diet due to her body's disposition. 

He had punched Taeyong because he thought he was cheating on me. 

He didn't bring Mijoo to his mother's grave when he visited again, but he suspected the shoots around the grave were my doing. Somehow he found planting flowers around his mother's grave a distinctively "me thing" to do. 

Mijoo still hadn't stepped into his old residence. 

He'd walked the wring way home so many times, it was a miracle we never met. 

When he was alone at home he would think about the times he brought his dates over, and he was suddenly apologising, saying that he couldn't imagine how bad it was that he made me live through those. He said he couldn't imagine anyone else tolerating him that way, and yet he took it for granted. 

Baekhyun did not feel the urge to buy things spontaneously or do stupid things with Mijoo, though I wasn't sure whether this was an insult or compliment. 

"The point is, I never realised that all my plans included you in them. Do you get what I'm saying?" 

No. 

Maybe I do, but at that moment I refused. 

I didn't maneuvre myself into months of heartache for Baekhyun to suddenly declare he walked out of a major "confusion", and is now suggesting the unspeakable. I simply couldn't tell what Baekhyun was trying to do. Was he just being lazy? Was it because he just wanted to make do with being comfortable, with me? Or was it simply because he thought I was easy?

Had he always known that I liked him, and that's why he has this unbeatable confidence to march into my life again, and declare it his territory?

My silence made Baekhyun panic. His rambles resumed as he confessed about how he was...jealous? He got jealous and confused when I let Taeyong take me home the night my parents came to visit. He got jealous when he found out the younger boy helped me at the supermarket for that lengthy shopping trip. He almost punched Chen and Chanyeol for not saying anything earlier. Apparently before his Spain expedition, he had dropped in to visit the two friends, who were absolutely resolute in keeping my secret but Xiumin insisted that it was stupid, so he just scolded some sense into Baekhyun. The ever so nonchalant and carefree Baekhyun also said he felt like dying when he found out about my fever, and that the two friends camped over without telling him anything. 

"What, just because we still have the private chat without you and we excluded you in an outing?" I was mildly agitated. All these were too much for me to handle all at once, and I was, needless to say, overwhelmed. 

"No, it's because I am a 30 year-old male with issues identifying his love interest and am therefore very wary when I hear two men sleeping over."

Huh?

"Baekhyun, one of them is married and the other one is gay." 

"I don't care, I am a straight man and I also have jealousy issues." 

Baekhyun, I don't think I am mentally prepared for this leap. You can't be serious. You'd liked her all along. Right?

"Baekhyun, you like Mijoo." 

"I did. I thought I still do, but I really don't. Jisoo, I think I've hung on to them idea of her as