Chapter 7. Personal taste
not so in love“Do I want to know why Taehyung giddier than usual?” Myungsoo asked his boss. Taehyung was cheerful and sunshine like kid. Perhaps that’s why Ailee accepted him as the waiter (But Myungsoo had this suspicion that Ailee recruited them because they all were good looking). But today, it was too much for Myungsoo, Taehyung was….Radiant like sunbeam that he felt obligated to smile brightly and incredibly chatty to his co-worker and customer. Well, it was good for business but bad for Myungsoo sanity.
Ailee tilted her head, “And why are you grouchier than usual?”
“Because it’s too much sunshine.” Myungsoo grumbled, “You know he even hug me.”
Ailee beamed happily, “That’s good. You need lot of hug, you are too gloomy if you left on your own.”
“I am not gloomy, I am normal. And I don’t appreciate being tackled by ball of sunshine.” He complained.
“I appreciate him as a ball of sunshine. This place needs lot of ray of the sun to balance out your negativity.” She said.
Myungsoo rolled his eyes, “I think what we need more is normality to outdo your insanity,”
“Being normal is overrated, Myungsoo.” She retorted cheerfully, “ We need to embark our quirkiness.” She spread her arm widely, “Then world would be a better place for you and for me and the entire human race.”
“You are not just quoting Michael Jackson, are you?”
“Hey, that’s good lyrics.”
“Anyway, did you do something about Taehyung?” he asked. He should know better but to let Ailee divert his attention. Ailee smile was too innocent and Myungsoo was perceptive. He also graduated as one of the best in his class during university day, “Is it about the banshee woman?”
Ailee smiled, “Banshee woman? Who is that?”
“Don’t play dumb, the woman who made our Taehyung froze and then smile like lovesick idiot that had been struck by lightning.” Myungsoo explained, “And I heard from Wendy that the woman is your friend, so I conclude that you somehow involved in this.”
Ailee shrugged, “I just give right push to the right direction.”
“Aha? It is likely you shove her into Taehyung face, before he could get the footing in romance.” Myungsoo didn’t trust her. He worked too long with her to recognized that his boss played matchmaker again.
“I am not, you are blind if you couldn’t see the sparks between them.” Ailee said. “I’m helping cupid to push them together.”
“I don’t think that your friend appreciate that. If she is your friend she definitely has perfect career by now.”
“She is.”
“She has money, stable job and way much more experience in romance rather than 22 years old naïve boy. Do you think she is on for long ride with Taehyung?” Myungsoo asked cynically.
Ailee pouted which more like whiny kid than grown up woman, “You are too cynical. Your soul is bitter. I know Irene likes him too.” She said.
Now, Myungsoo had name for the banshee woman. Irene or whatever her name was still mature woman for young Taehyung. “May be. But is it enough? I bet she wants the same mature person like she is. And Taehyung hasn’t even tasted how hard adult life.”
“Well, you don’t know her.” Ailee hated to admit but somehow Myungsoo right, but love supposed to be not logical. It should be romantic and sweet, “And Taehyung will be adult soon. A mature and responsible adult.”
“But before that, he will have his heart broken?”
“Aw….you are worried about him.” Ailee teased Myungsoo. She elbowed Myungsoo stomach lightly, “How sweet.”
“Admit it Tsundere, you worry about our kid. Don’t worry Papa, he will be okay.”
“I am not tsundere. And I am not his father.” Myungsoo gritted his teeth. “How many times should I tell you not to play family with people in café.” He reminded Ailee,
“Hey My café my rule.” Ailee said. “Just admit it, you are worried our kid get his heart broken.”
Myungsoo rolled his eyes, “You will pat his shoulder and make him hot chocolate if one day he come with death fish look on his eyes.” Myungsoo told her, “And while you do, I would remind you that half of it is your fault because you push them together just to let it broken.”
Ailee waved her hand, “And what if one day he come with blue invitation and huge radiant sunshine while you here still gloomy and bitter old soul?” she asked back, “ I would pat your shoulder and make you bitter dark coffee and remind you how bitter is your heart.”
Myungsoo stared at her, like she was crazy. Which is probably right, “You know with that romantic heart, it is a big shock you haven’t marry and have ten kids.”
Ailee shrugged nonchalantly, “I’m married to you right?” she batted her lashes.
“Stop it, I will throw up,” he grumbled, “And you know I don’t swing that way.”
“Yup.” Ailee popped out the ‘p’ sound, “You are straight as circle.”
Ailee was one of few that know Myungsoo uality, most of his coworker thought he is either straight or aual, which was half true. It was kinda hard to date in the homophobic country, and he had learnt the hard way hidden relationship sought too much pain. He vowed to himself if he found the one he would never put him in the closet again. He would introduced him to his family and friend.
As if she knew his mind, Ailee squeezed his shoulder.
Myungsoo sighed, “You don’t need to announce it to world.” He grimaced. “Anyway if something happen to Taehyung, you fix him. We don’t need heartbroken employee before valentine. It will be the busiest day of the year.”
“I know.” She said, “hey how about if we make an event like free hug?”
Myungsoo shook his head, “Well, if you want that event run smoothly, you need Taehyung. Because he is the only one who gullible enough to be conned by you.” He said, and clicked his heel to get back in his small office.
Ailee clicked her tongue, Unhappy because Myungsoo didn’t want to participate in the event, “Hey, how about if I set you up with some of my friend.”
Myungsoo dismissed her, he would be stupid to make a deal with Satan. Myungsoo pushed the slight discomfort when Ailee remind him of his lack dating life, he had no boyfriend, and Myungsoo would rather to be careful with the society like Seoul. He didn’t need another tryst. He had enough heartbreak for life time.
Sighing, he buried himself in his work. He just hoped what Taehyung face right now, wouldn’t scarred him for life. He knew how bad first love could end. And he regretted it for whole his life. Just, what if he met the one when he is older and wiser, not when he was afraid of his own uality.
Damn. That’s why he hated to involved with his coworker dating life, especially the type like Taehyung, He was reminding him of his old-self. “Do you know each sigh shortened your life span?” Ailee peeked from the door.
Myungsoo felt his vein popped, “Do you know I’m barely holding myself to kill my boss?”
Ailee pouted, “Fine. You fiend. You are no fun when you are cranky.” Myungsoo raised his brow, but before Ailee closed the door she added, “Well, you are no fun at all everyday.”
Myungsoo shook his head of his boss childishness. But he was grateful for meeting her because she was a good friend even when she was bit of insane.
***
Taehyung was happy. It didn’t need rocket science to figure that out. Jimin could see that and if Taehyung was happier than this Jimin sure he would start to sing Sesame street song. “If you grin wider, your mouth would rip like joker.” He said.
Taehyung pouted, “I am not grinning, I am smiling.” He retorted.
“Should I call mental asylum? Because you smile to nothing for 50 meters. It is disturbing.”
Taehyung punched Jimin’s arm playfully, “I’m not smiling to nothing, I am just happy.” He retorted back.
“You are that happy because you meet some older woman which is your customer at 6 in the morning.”
“How could you know?”
“Jeon Jungkook told me.”
“And why you and my coworker suddenly become best buddy?”
“Because someone has to watch over you.” Jimin said, he had been Taehyung bestfriend ever sjnce they were wearing diaper at pre-school as they lived in same neighborhood. Originally, Jimin thought Taehyung was annoying pet who couldn’t be left alone. “And I don’t work at Skipper so I should delegate that special assignment to someone.”
“I am not kid. You just want to find excuses to hang out with Jungkook.” Taehyung pointed him, “Wait, you are the one who tell Jungkook to spike my coffee, aren’t you?”
Jimin looked at him like he was crazy, “Care, to walk me through it? When and how I involve with it?”
Taehyung fidgeted to find the right words, “That night when I delivered food to Joohyun noona house, she screamed like a banshee, At first I thought she is crazy which probably why I call my boss, but the suddenly she smiled and the it happen.”
“The punch in your stomach? Which suddenly you become uncomfortable?”
“Yes.”
“And you still think it was Jungkook fault even after this morning?”
“No.” he frowned, “But I think I wouldn’t feel that way if Jungkook didn’t do it first place.”
“You, my friend, either naïve or stupid.” He said concluded.
“I am not.”
“Really? That’s why I told you, you should date when in high school. Lot of girls like you.”
“But I don’t like them that way.”
“What way?”
“The way that I want to kiss them. You told me that.”
“And now you like this older woman…”
Taehyung didn’t like that phrases so he corrected Jimin, “Joohyun Noona.”
Jimin rolled his eyes, “so you like this Joohyun Noona in the way you want to kiss her?”
“No…I mean yes…I don’t know.” He looked confused.
Jimin knew he should make Taehyung date when they were high school, but what could he do? Taehyung never showed any interest to opposite and it didn’t help that they attended all boy school. When they started university, Taehyung was all gung-ho to get degree and good marks.
“Well, it is never late to have first love in your twenties.” Jimin sighed.
Taehyung frowned, “I never say it’s my first love.” He denied, “Namjoon hyung said love is serious mental diseases.”
“So does Denial.” Jimin said, “and stupidity and naivety.” He added.
Taehyung pouted, “Anyway, I am just happy to see her, it doesn’t necessary mean I’m crushing on her.” He said obstinately. It was so clear that even Taehyung tried to believe his own words.
Jimin patted Taehyung shoulder, “Just don’t get hurt.” He reminded him, as a brother and as the friend. The last thing he needed is broken heart Taehyung. And it’s reasonable, because one Jimin thought Taehyung is his brother, and two because they had exam ahead. Jimin didn’t want to be distracted by Taehyung whine.
“I won’t.” Taehyung assured him.
“Yeah, you won’t because you don’t even understand.” Jimin told him. “Tell me have you watch any romance movie?”
“Did drama count as one?” he asked.
Jimin nodded, “Yup. Try to watch Descendant of the Sun, the Heirs and Goblin. Then tell me what happen between main characters.” Jimin ordered. “After that, write a review.”
“Hey, Who watch drama and write review?”
“You should. If you don’t have real experience at least use drama as your references. Stupidity doesn’t appeal to experience woman.” He advised Taehyung. Not that Jimin ever dated older woman, but in comparison of Taehyung, Jimin is far more experience in romance, and hey he was just trying to help him.
***
For the first time since she purchased her apartment, Irene found herself reluctant to go home. She would rather stay in her office rather than to face her mother irrational wrath. She contemplated to go back to Ailee’s café, but then she remembered Taehyung would be there.
The last thing she needed was to see his face and became shy school girl again. For the love of coffee, she was 28 and successful. She wasn’t supposed to blush in the present of 22 years old un-graduate handsome (and hot) BTS V looks alike. No matter how charming his smile was and how attractive his eyes were.
Speaking of eyes, Park Bogum also had beautiful eyes. Well, perhaps his eyes that made it was easy for Irene to fall deeply in love with him. Well, thanks god, she realized that he was kind of s and ist bastard. Irene would be happy for him if he married anyone else but not her sister.
It also didn’t help that Irene hadn’t talk to him ever since they broke up. Irene didn’t know what to do right now. Not even with Changmin glare toward her. Changmin had told her to go home early because she was unproductive and he hated unproductive employees. (Actually Irene thought he hated every living creature on earth, that hateful person)
“Irene-ssi?” she saw Sungjong waves at her. “Do you need lemon candy?” he asked again. He looked a lot like some androgyny model with white long sweater and faded jeans.
“I think I need lemon soju.” Irene said nonchalantly.
Sungjong chuckled, “Well, it is too early to have lemon soju, how about some coffee?” he asked.
Irene squinted her eyes, she didn’t want to be ‘other person’ in someone relationship. “I think your fiancée would upset if you take another woman to coffee date.”
She knew the type of man who wanted to cheat. That jerk ex -not Bogum but another one, okay?- of her in America taught her that precious lesson. It started from coffee date, and escalated to drinking friend after that a buddies. Well, she didn’t want to cause some girl same misery.
“It doesn’t have to be date. Just a friend takes you to coffee.” He said politely but firmly. “He wouldn’t mind.”
Irene squinted her eyes, “Listen here pal, I know for you it’s just friendly coffee but for the girl you left at home, it is more than coffee, it is the first step to enter…” Irene stopped her rant when she processed something in Sungjong words, “Wait…you said He.”
Sungjong smiled and then giggled, “Yes, He. My Fiancée is a man. Do you think it’s disgusting?” he said confidently.
“No of course not. I am not homophobic, I am okay.” She assured him. “Er…how could you say that confidently? I mean you know Korea is not really accepting gay.”
Sungjong shrugged but still smiling, “Because I don’t want to hide who am I, I’ve tried to deny who am I and I am hurt.” He said lightly, “and now, I will never hide it again. I want to be an honest man.”
His eyes held more wisdom than anyone Irene knew, and Irene thought that must be because of his painful past lover, whoever he was. “Well, then it’s good. By the way where is your fiancee?”
“Australia. I’m staying at Seoul only for three months. After that I will go back to Sydney.” He answered. “So, would you like some coffee? I think both of us need coffee.”
Irene hated to admit, but Sungjong was right. She needed friend and coffee, it was better than go home and meeting her nemesis. “I think my life become cliché. Single woman and her gay friend.” She mumbled.
Sungjong laughed, “Does it really bad? Because I make some single lady wonderful friend.” He joked around.
Irene laughed, “Shouldn’t it be some lucky woman wonderful husband?”
“Well it’s impossible right?” Sungjong was amazing. Irene thought it would take lot of struggle to joke around his uality he did. Especially if he was growing up in this homophobic -and homouality is illegal- country. Suddenly Irene got how strong Sungjong was. “So any recommendation?”
“Huh?”
“For the coffee.”
“Umm….My friend has this shop around.” She reluctantly said, “It has pretty good coffee.”
“I heard but here.” Sungjong chimed.
Irene sighed, “The owner and the employees are insane.”
“Oh…I’d love to visit that.” He chuckled light-heartedly. “It must be pretty interesting.” Sungjong even though was strong. Irene harbored suspicion that he is pretty insane too. Usually the normal one held more insanity than the weird one.
“Well, don’t say I didn’t tell ya.” Irene muttered as they walked to Skipper. Why did she have to say the Skipper? Why couldn’t she lie and say another damn coffee shop?
‘May be you want to see Taehyung.’ The bad Irene talked. No, no, no, No!!!! Irene denied it vigorously, she must be a bit sick to think about Taehyung constantly. She needed staying far far away from the shop. Irene would avoid Ailee shop like plague after this one time.
“Why did you seem conflicted?”
“I am not.” Irene denied it too fast.
“Oh come on. You seem torn between jumping in happiness or fainted on the floor.” Sungjong said bluntly. “But I could feel your nervousness and anticipation.” He continued.
Irene look at him. She was horrified to know Sungjong guessed her mood far too easy. -she had this hunch he is a paranormal or at least fortune-teller.- “Can you help me?” Irene asked him.
“I can’t pretend to be your boyfriend, honey.”
Irene hissed, Sungjong said it just right. “Well, if you can’t the would you remain me that I have my mother at my house.”
“And why?”
“Because my mother is a huge turn-off for anything heart fluttering for me.”
Sungjong didn’t understand but he agreed anyway. Who is he to prod more into Irene personal problem? Sungjong was blessed with ability to discern someone emotion, but it always brought him more problem than he wanted.
They walked to single building with huge Name Board in front of it. It hard to miss Skipper with huge and eye-catching name board. If Ailee wanted to attract attention then it worked perfectly well. Irene didn’t really pay attention before, but Skipper was really crowded.
Lot of people walked in and out the front door with coffee and some bagel in their hand. If she only wanted to attract youngster with handsome worker, the café wouldn’t be this success, that meant the food was edible and the coffee taste was good enough for even adult.
Irene just realized even with her insanity, Ailee was pretty success businesswoman. Irene felt bit pride and jealousy toward her.
They pushed the front door, Taehyung who stood in front of the door chimed loudly, “Welcome to Skipper. What can I help…” his smile brightened up but fell in matter of second after he saw Sungjong who followed Irene in.
“Oops. I think you break someone heart.” Sungjong whispered to Irene and chuckling. He was impatience to see how this boy crush to Irene would unfold
***
Sungjong found it so amusing with Taehyung who sulked behind the counter, the crestfallen expression that Taehyung showed to them was more than enough for Sungjong to know, he had this small -not too small- crush on Irene.
“May be you should explain to him.” Sungjong couldn’t hide his glee.
“Explain what?” Irene played dumb.
Sungjong nodded before laughing, “Explain that I am gay.” He answered. Even though Sungjong found it super duper amusing, he wasn’t that cruel. Why did he feel like he was kicking naïve puppy? Damn, he always had this soft spot for weak and abuse animal.
Taehyung reminded him of golden retriever in the shelter he volunteered during college day. “And you know, you look so guilty. Like I caught you eating leftover pizza after committed yourself to low carb diet.” He informed her helpfully.
“I am not.” Irene denied it, but her eyes came back again to Taehyung board shoulder everytime Taehyung didn’t see. It was kinda sweet but pathetic. Irene suddenly bang her head to table, “I am pathetic.”
“You remind me of girl and her first crush.”
“Well except I am not girl but grown woman who need her priority straight.” She retorted, “And it won’t be my first crush.” She scrunched up her nose.
Well, what could Sungjong do? If someone didn’t want to admit it, he only could be a good listener. He was all ear, because sometimes he knew someone just needed to walk around and around the issues before they solved it. “Should I remind you have your mother at your house?”
Irene groaned pitifully, “Thanks. I am thinking straight right now.” She said, but still trying to steal glance toward Taehyung.
Well, many people had issues with their parents, Sungjong was one of them. He didn’t want to prod any further, because he would never like to talk about it too. It had been years since he talked to his parents. Well, you couldn’t talk to someone that just disown you right?
Myungsoo just got out from his office, then realizing Taehyung was pouting in the corner with heavy gloomy -figurative cloud hung above his head. His pouting was the life out of Skipper. Myungsoo smacked his head, “Do you have bipolar disorder?” he asked.
“His crush just has coffee with another man, Oppa.” Wendy helpfully chimed in.
“Well, it’s just a coffee.” Myungsoo tried to reason.
“Oh do I forget to say that his crush also laugh a lot with the man?” Wendy added again.
Seulgi who just came back from delivering order to the table helpfully commenting, “Also, the man is so beautiful like Song Hye Kyo in masculine version.”
Myungsoo didn’t know how but it seemed Taehyung could get gloomier each second. How could some one basked in those gloomy and dark corner and not to drown by negativity? “They could be friend.” Myungsoo tried to cheer him up.
“With benefit.” Seulgi added. Which getting her a loud flick at her forehead by Myungsoo.
“Do something productive now before I sign the wrong sum of your pay check.” He threatened Seulgi who pouted and then walked behind counter. Myungssoo sighed and walked to Taehyung, “And you too. Do something productive rather than become mold in the corner of our café, it’s hard to scrub.”
Wendy and Seulgi Laughed out loud, Trust Myungsoo to say sarcastic thing without even changed his expression. (Well, you can always laugh it when actually you are not the victim of Myungsoo cruelty).
Taehyung mumbled about insensitive and inconsiderate jerk. He took the rug and started to wipe the invincible dust near the coffee machine. Myungsoo sighed, “Really Taehyung? If you decided you want to be worthless, can you be worthless in front of the shop? Your pretty face couldn’t make coffee but could attract customers outside.”
And of course once again, Myungsoo didn’t learn from his past mistake, so he had no inclination to save Taehyung’s face but instead saying the insult loud enough to be heard to the closest table near counter-which (of course bad luck on Taehyung side) is Irene’s table-
A loud bang accompanied by melodious laugh filled the room, Myungsoo couldn’t help but to see the owner of the melodious laugh. Taehyung also did the same though for totally different reason -okay, he just wanted to see Irene face okay? And make sure that she was okay. It was pretty loud bang-
Then Myungsoo did something out of character, he literally jumped from the counter and deliberately touching the customer. (The only times Myungsoo touched them is to hurt them, trust Taehyung here. He had this suspicion that Myungsoo was only capable to touch in order to hit) “Jongie?”
“Jongie is that you?”
Then world definitely was going to end when Myungsoo pulled the man wrist and to drag him inside to the kitchen. Irene could see Sungjong’s face become several shade paler but he controlled it as quick as blink of the eyes. Taehyung, Seulgi and Wendy had to pick their jaw off the floor with their manager behavior.
Suddenly loud clap averted their attention from the men, Ailee stood in the center of the café , “Well, ladies and gentlemen, please feel free to order more food. And the show is for free.”
****
Myungsoo didn’t even stop to consider the consequences of his behavior. If he ever remembered that he just acted out of character, he would kicked his blanket at night, and decided to hang himself. Never in his history working in Skipper he made scene. He always be the normal and calm one, he didn’t indulge himself in over reacting or drama. He kept his emotion in control.
But not today. It couldn’t be today.
Myungsoo held Sungjong tightly as soon as he reached the back door. He tried to feel him, imprinted him into his all being. He inhaled his scent to find any trace of the same Vanilla and lemon fragrance, he felt restless when he found none of it. He felt all over Sungjong, feeling the emptiness in his heart filled a bit.
Myungsoo would kiss him if he didn’t hear a short chuckle from the slight smaller man in front of him. It was not a kind type of chuckle but sarcastic one, “Out of closet already, hyung?” Sungjong stepped out from Myungsoo hug.
“Jongie?”
Sungjong smiled but it wasn’t a smile Myungsoo liked, “Time does change person. I thought you would never touch me in public. You know image thingy.” He shrugged.
Myungsoo felt lead settled in his stomach. How could he forget? Sungjong was not a laid back guy. He would hurt you if you hurt him. Myungsoo did so terribly years ago, it was kind of shock that Sungjong hadn’t sic him to lion yet.
“Sungjong?”
“Yes, it’s my name.” he said calmly.
“Where were you?” he asked Sungjong. Damn it. It’s not the thing he wanted to talk about but his brain went dead and his tongue went freezing. It was like he was out of his mind and brain.
“if you mean two hours ago, then I was at my new apartment.” He said pleasantly, but his voice turned cold, “But if you mean these years It’s not your business.”
“Jongie, please.”
“Please what?” he asked back. “I am on my rope here. I have this inclination to hurt you, so it’s better if we end this conversation while no cops are present.” His tone was pleasant but the undertone malice still lingered. Myungsoo tried to catch Sungjong’s eyes and he regretted to do so, Sungjong looked dead.
“Can I meet you again, please?”
“No.”
Myungsoo felt the void crawled back, it was hard to ignore it anymore. The pain was unbearable, he wanted Sungjong to fill it again. He wanted something at least to sooth him, to make him through the sleepless and guilty night he had and still experienced.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked him. “Just a kiss.”
“And then you let me go?” sungjong pointedly looking at Myungsoo’s hand on his wrist. Myungsoo needed the contact. The smallest contact he could get from Sungjong. It been years since the last touch from Sungjong. Myungsoo was like dying man in dessert, and Sungjong was his oasis.
“Yes, I will let you go.” For now. He swore. He would let him go even without knowing when he could see him again.
“Fine. You can.” It was like lucid dream when his lips finally touched Sungjong’s lips, He felt shiver down to his spine and the taste of his lips ignited something that Myungsoo thought dead inside him.
He remembered nights when he could kiss Sungjong easily. Nights that he took for granted. He had to restrain himself from feeling Sungjong. He missed him so bad. He missed his lips and his scent. He wished he could stay longer than single kiss.
But everything good had to end, and his kiss had to end as the back door opened and Jeon Jungkook shirked loudly, “Holy . My eyes is burning!!!”
****
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