Genre: Comfort, Friendship (, Fluff, Angst?, if you want it and squint Romance too)

Setting: Somewhere during their later Idol years, maybe today, maybe in the future, choose it yourself

Warning: Mentions/slight descriptions of depression, panic attacks, anxities. I didn't put a trigger warning because I don't think it's needed and it's all on a more positive note, even more against the end-

Other Info: Funny how I planned to write something entirely else and it turned out like this but yeah... Also it took I don't know - years?! - to write and edit this and I'm still far from satisfied. But since Jinsyung got requested... here it is! I hope you like it even though the Genre is rather lame and it's all very experimental. And I still have to proofread this but I guess I didn't want to keep it in my storage any longer-

Please give me your opinion and/or constructive critic!

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Hyesung shifted in his seat, cursing agitated at the red traffic light. He was in a rush and had left his apartement swiftly, driving over to Junjins after hearing that the man wasn’t alright. Hyesung had just tiped a short „I’m coming over“, not giving his friend any chance to protest. He knew that Junjin needed him and as the light changed to green - after what felt like an eternity - the singer stepped on the gas, maybe a little too harsh, not that it mattered.

„ing finally.“ Hyesung muttered under his breath, taking a right turn, eyes scanning automatically for a free spot where he could park his car, before finally finding one and parking the car rather sloppy - not that he would care in his haste.

The singer hurriedly got out of his car, slamming the door shut with force, locking the doors behind him and picking up a fast pace towards the building where his beloved friends home was. He entered the modern house, deciding to take the stairs for once, even though he knew fully well he would regret it afterwards. But when Junjin was miserable every second could count and standing patiently in an elevator, waiting for it to arrive didn't sound inviting at the moment.

And Hyesung was indeed regretting to have taken the stairs, he was panting heavily as he reached his fellow members floor, having trouble to breathe properly. He really should quit smoking but on the other hand the damage was already done and the slender man knew himself well enough to know he wouldn’t stop anyways.

He rang the doorbell, trying to steady his breathing while he shifted his weight from one leg to the other, impatiently waiting for his Babybird to open the door. As that didn’t happen panic started to build in the pit of Hyesungs stomach, his hand reaching out to ring the doorbell for a second time.

The singer kept an eye at his watch, internally counting the seconds and as there was still no sign of life on the other side of the after a minute he tormented the doorbell once again. He felt nauseous, automatically imagining what could have happened to his friend, knowing Junjins tendency to panic attacks and losing control if it was bad enough. There were so many things that could’ve happened to him, so many ways he could’ve hurt himself - unintentionally as well as intentionally.

The second the door opened Hyesung stormed in, immediately crushing the taller man inside in a relieved embrace. Junjins arms were wrapped around the older male the next moment, clinging onto his friend desperately. He didn’t say anything about Hyesung maltreating his doorbell nor about the fact that the older singer had stepped on his feet rather painfully in his clumsy haste to get the dancer into his arms.

Junjin only closed the door wordlessly as Hyesung freed himself out of the hug. The slender singer knew his Babybird was far from alright, he saw the younger wincing under his scruntinizing stare, how pale he was and he had felt him tremble as the dancer had held onto him.

A thousand words were on the tip of his tongue, ready to explode into a worried, agitated storm of a monologue but Hyesung knew better than that and swallowed them, restraining himself into silence while following Junjin into the kitchen.

He seated himself on a chair, keeping his gaze on the taller man in front of him. „Want some Coffee?“ Junjin asked, voice controlled but Hyesung knew his friend well enough to hear the strange, strained undertone. „Would be wonderful.“ he simply replied, watching Junjin press the buttons on his coffeemachine, placing a blue mug under it.

As the younger singer turned around, hiding his shaking hands in the pocket of his pants, Hyesung decided to speak up. „Give me a number.“ Junjins eyes were still a little puffy and roamed now around the kitchen wall aimlessly, avoiding his older friends direct stare. „Eight.“ he then nearly whispered. Hyesung in a breath, his mind racing with what he could do to help his friend even though he already knew the answer. Eight was pretty bad.

One day a few years ago Dongwan had come up with a simple system based on how bad they were feeling so when they had trouble finding words they would tell a number and the other part had an idea of how bad it was. Zero was fine, no worries, not overly hyped. One balanced and good. Two good but hyped which was exhausting. And so on, until ten, which was everything was crumbling down, making one feel as worse as it could be, nearly not able to endure it any longer.

Hyesung tended to use that system a lot when he was with Junjin and his Babybird was troubled. But the dancer hadn’t been that down for nearly a year, his negative feelings had never exceeded the seven. And now an eight. It was crushing and the ballad singer just wanted to help, his heart feeling like it could crack any second, seeing his precious friend hurting like that.

Junjin turned around, calming the beeping coffeemachine and taking the mug. „What do you want me-“ Hyesung started but broke off abruptly as Junjin dropped the mug. The tall man jumped back, now shivering like a leaf in the octoberwind, staring paralyzed at the broken pieces and black liquid that spread incredibly fast over the kitchenfloor. The older singer was on his feet in a second, his instincts acting up and he rushed over to the younger male, embracing him tightly.

„It’s okay.“ he muttered over and over until he felt the others strong arms around him, the tall dancer trying to hide his face in Hyesungs shoulder. He felt the change in Junjins breathing, indicating that his Babybird was on the verge of crying and now it really broke Hyesungs heart, he reached up, placing his hand at the others nape. He felt the youngers bodyheat was seeping through the soft skin as he brushed his fingers over it, trying to calm the other at least a little.

Hyesung had no idea how much time had passed but as Junjin detached himself gingerly, taking a deep breath, it felt like an eternity for the slender singer. „Sit down, I’ll clean this up.“ „No I-“ Junjin started, voice shaking but Hyesung shushed him immediately. „Let me do that.“ „You don’t -“„Choongjae!“ Hyesung realized that his tone might have been a little too hard as the younger winced but complied, seating himself on his table, still looking like a scared animal.

Normally he wouldn’t baby the other man so much and instead, fooling around. But whenever Junjin was vulnerable like this, Hyesungs motherly side completely showed itself. He put the broken pieces of porcelain in the trash, wiping the coffee off the floor and writing a post-it to vacuum the kitchen later properly so nobody would get hurt.

„Okay?“ he asked, searching the others eyes. Junjin only nodded but strechted his hand out. Hyesung made some steps towards the sitting singer, feeling the mans arm around his waist, holding him close, pressing his forehead against the older males stomach. „What do you need right now?“ Hyesung asked carefully, tangling his hand in his fellow members curly hair.

Junjin went silent for a moment, probably thinking about Hyesungs question to tell the older male what he could do right now to make his friend feel better. Junjin blinked, opened his mouth but closed it directly after again. The slender singer threaded his fingers affectionately through the dark locks as he felt his friends breathing getting irregular.

„I don’t... I don’t know.“ Junjin confessed, his deep voice husky and unsteady. Hyesung felt him take a shaky, deep breath, obviously trying to remain composed, not wanting to cry and break down again.

Hyesung felt a small sigh escaping his lips, Junjin was his little problem-child sometimes and right now he felt helpless, not knowing what to do. He decided to follow his instincts, overthinking wouldn’t lead to anything good. „Couch?“ Hyesung asked carefully, peeling his Babybird away from his stomach. He only got a weak nod before the dancer got up.

Hyesung couldn’t help but smile fondly at the younger when he felt Junjin interlacing their fingers, not letting go of his Mommybird even for the short way over to his own livingroom. Hyesung sat down on the overly comfortable couch and before he could even make himself at home he had Junjin crawling into his lap, hugging him tightly.

„Ugh Jinnie you’re too heavy!“ The younger singer was indeed heavy but seeing as he refused to move away and only pressed his face into the crook of his older friends neck, his breath tickling over Hyesungs skin. The main vocal decided he would leave him be, afterall he had to be a good friend today.

Hyesung huffed, pressing a kiss onto the others ear, placing his hands loosely onto the tallers hips. „Tell me something.“ Junjin uttered. „About what?“ „Work, your manager, Eric, your plants- Anything!“ The tall man was nearly begging, his voice breaking halfway through the sentence, sounding close to being overwhelmed by his feelings, shifting in Hyesungs lap.

„Okay, okay.“ Hyesung quickly answered, his brain already trying to find something interesting. He pressed another kiss to Junjins hair, then starting to tell Junjin how he had gone grocerie shopping earlier during the day and had helped an old lady carry her bags home. To thank him for his help and nice company she had given him some cake but then Eric had come over for an hour, just wanting to talk about some shincom stuff and had stolen the cake, eating it all alone, sending an honeycoated message where he thanked the main vocal for the delicious cake.

Junjin didn’t give much of a reaction but a hum or a small comment every now and then.He didn't have to because Hyesung knew that the younger probably wanted to silence the voices in his head a little, banishing his thoughts as good as possible, letting his concentration on his friends trivial stories about things that bothered Hyesungs mind these days.

As Hyesung ranted on about how impossible Eric sometimes was he even got a small laugh out of the younger man in his lap. Thereupon he started to tell him more small stories of how Eric had annoyed him during the last days and vice versa. He also told Junjin details of his visit to Dongwans place to weeks ago, checki