Day 75.
 

It’s just a regular day at the office. Henry and Jackson are still as loud as ever, Bora is still cursing quite often whenever her screen froze because the files she opened are too big. Sunny and Shindong still sneak some quick pecks whenever they’re around each other.

But sure it feels different for Minho. Even this morning, when he was getting ready, his gut told him not to go to the office. At least until his sane self knocked some sense on him. He almost had no sleep the night before, how the heck I’d hide this stupid eyebag?

And it’s as eerie as his way to the office when finally he reached his desk. Changmin said a very brief ‘hi’ before he sprinted out the office. His team all are missing, and the worse, no one seems remember to notify Minho where they are at the moment. It’s not like he required them to tell him their whereabouts – aren’t we all adults and have our own responsibilites? – but in times like this, it’s easy to feel left out when no one even care to let him know their location.

He glances to Taeyeon’s desk. It’s spotless and neat, as if it’s not occupied originally. Last night would have been great if it’s not because some sudden encounter. Overwhelmed with what happened, he wasn’t able to call Taeyeon later at night. It doesn’t sit well on his stomach, the ugly feeling is bothering him so much.

Trying to calm his nerve, he starts his ritual as soon as he’s seated, going through his email and writing all important notes from each mail to follow up. However, he couldn’t get his mind off certain people. Usually Amber would be the savior of the day, but lately he realized he’s burdening her too much. Also he recalls how Changmin mentioned about his attachment to Amber. With their history written on every wall on the office, some would think a little bit different. Minho used to ignore it, until the past month. Until he found out the awkward vibe oozing from Taeyeon whenever he was with Amber.

So to the pantry he goes.

There is this spot he likes the most by the long table where he can get his caffein fixed while enjoying the view of the city from above. Guess no amount of coffee able to clear his mind this morning. He gulped the dark liquid but he tasted nothing. Not even the bitterness, not even the acidity.

“There you are.”

Without looking to the source of the voice, he knew it was Kyuhyun. So he keeps his eyes to not so cloudy sky because telling Kyuhyun to leave him alone is such a waste.

“Where is your phone?”

“My desk.”

“Huh,” he took the space next to Minho and sits, “That’s new. Since when you broke up with it?”

“I’m not in the mood of your cynical words at the moment.”

“I’ve been calling you. I wanted to discuss about the annex project but I think I can discuss more important thing first.”

“Nothing is more important.”

“You sure? Because the Choi Minho I know would glue his phone to his chest if it’s possible,” Kyuhyun took Minho’s mug just to drag his eyes to him but the owner didn’t budge at all, “What the heck is happening between yesterday afternoon and this dawn?”

Minho sighed. He wanted to keep everything to himself but clearly it’s stupid because deep down he needs another pair of ears to share his miserable life story.

“You wouldn’t look like this if you sleep properly last night.”

“Well I didn’t.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“I supposed to go for a coffee with Taeyeon. Yesterday.”

“Supposed to?”

“Yeah. Someone unexpected came to me, though.”

The horror is real in Kyuhyun’s face, “Dude. Is it..”

“Yeah. She really caught me of guard,” Minho reaches his mug and gulps down the remaining coffee, “I was waiting downstairs, suddenly she just popped up in front of me. And this time no one I could run to.”

“Froze to death?”

“Almost. I lost my words and just standing there like a stupid pole.”

“It would be funny if you just be your regular human rock. She would be utterly shocked.”

Minho let out bitter chuckle, “You know what funnier? When I was competely by myself, weirdly, it feels just like yesterday. All of those sleepless night making a vivid flashed back. I dare to say that I’ve changed quite a lot after we broke up. But Irene? Not even tiny bits. She’s still that woman. With the grace and everything.”

Kyuhyun keeps his mouth zipped, it’s been a while since he saw his best friend in distress. Minho could be rough, could be fierce and angry sometimes, but never this... desperate?

“The rage was gone so long, I was certain. As if I just saw her for the first time ever. Like long lost friend. But I couldn’t help myself not to feel..”

“Angry? Mad?”

“Disappointed.”

Nobody needed to tell him, but he knew, the betrayal Minho felt was too real. Three months after they broke up, when Minho opened up for the first time, he told Kyuhyun and Changmin that he just realized he was somebody else the last couple of months they were together. People who love each other shouldn’t let their partner be someone besides themselves, Minho screamed.

“So you guys went somewhere after that, I guess?”

“Hmmm. We grabbed some dinner. And talked a bit.”

“Any recon—“

“She’s getting married.”

It was the weakest Minho can be sounded for the past year. At this point, Kyuhyun doesn’t have any gut to come up with any consolation. It was the reason they broke up. Minho was so sure they would exchange vows happily ever after and Irene just decided that marriage was not for her. He was half begging her to consider it again, he gave her time. To think, to sleep on it. But the woman was iron. Few days after Minho’s birthday, she called it quit.

And now, she came with the news no one really asking.

“You’re not joking, right?!” Minho shakes his head weakly, “This is so su—“

“Surprising? Yeah. For me too. You know, Kyu? After ruined relationships, we tend to look for closure. So do I. I look and look. In that very short time, I was thinking, oh, this might be the closure I desperately need. But then I went home. And it hit me so hard. Instead of closure, I blamed myself. I asked again and again, when did I do wrong? What’s it in me that was not enough? If I knew it back then and I changed, would we still be together? And it’s all feels too familiar, it feels I’m back to square.”

If Minho said he wasn’t himself during the last moment he was with Irene, for Kyuhyun, it’s those weeks right after the huge break up that Minho turned into completely different human. He was sour, he was bitter, he was everything he’s not.

“I honestly cannot think about anything right now. But it’s just natural if you thought that way.”

“Sure it is, Kyu,” it sounded way more sarcastic than anyone expected.

“No. Look, Choi. Anyone would understand that at one point she was bigger than anything in your life. Maybe it’s not she’s getting married, the closure I mean. Maybe it’s the reconciliation you should have with yourself. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. But have you see yourself these past years? If I can take something to be grateful about, you grew as a man.”

“You tell me.”

“Quit that attitude before I start rolling my eyes,” Kyuhyun stops to check their surrounding, make sure no one is around to eavesdrop, “You may not see it because you don’t see how you’re treating others. How you’re dealing with problem. You were so stuck up before. Beyond stubborn. Wait, I’m not finished.”

Minho doesn’t have time to close his mouth before Kyuhyun continued his speech.

“Whenever you had plan, you believed that plan is the only thing to save the world. And then reality slapped and you crumbled, you feel betrayed by your own decision. But now? You compromise, you see everything more thorough. You have backup plan, you managed when life threw some surprise to you. Isn’t that great?!”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Dude. Listen, she might be the one that got away. What can we do, though? Nothing. So be it, let her got away. If you stop looking at where she might be, you’ll see something else. Something new. Something better.”

Minho brings that bitter chuckles again. The world might laugh at me at this second, why don’t I join?

“Since when you are this wise?”

Kyuhyun doesn’t believe what he just heard but he chose the highway instead, “Let’s admit it, among us, I’m always the smartest, the greatest, and the sanest one. How can you compare me with a hopeless romantic and a love slave?”

“I hope those stands for Changmin and Suho.”

“You don’t want me to add the list with a nostalgic sister complex guy, do you?”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up,” Kyuhyun finally snapped and slapped Minho on the head, “It’s Friday, should we go out?”

“Sounds good.”

The man before him looks so offended.

“Good?! Try awesome! Should we invite the others?”

“And by the others you mean Taeyeon?”

Kyuhyun smirks, “I was thinking Changmin and Suho. And maybe Bora and Amber. But I don’t mind if y