Minah stared blankly at the ceiling of her bedroom, her head resting on her arms as she laid back in bed, unable to get a wink of sleep. She could hear her brother talking next door in his room, discussing a school project online with Wonwoo; yet another feat accomplished by her dodging the teammate spot when Wonwoo tried to approach her. She unconsciously reached for her mobile phone by her bedside, browsing through her own gallery to look at the photos from her date with Jihoon. The high scores of their baseball games and their brilliant smiles made her glow a little inside, but she found herself unable to muster any energy for a smile. 

Jihoon had just left an hour ago after dinner at their place, where Minah and him surprised her gullible brother with the truth - that they were never a real couple. Mingyu had choked on his spaghetti and the end result was him spluttering bolognese sauce all over the dining table. While she patted her brother's back in a frantic moment, Jihoon laughed and calmly explained their intention in helping Mingyu and his hopeless crushing. As Minah mindlessly patted her brother, she had found herself feeling disturbed by Jihoon's calmness, or perhaps even delight, in explaining the how ploy. His relaxed manner and laughter agitated her so much inside, and God knew why. Something in her wanted to protest when Jihoon said the idea was borne from a "stupid spur of the moment", and when he said that they just "hung out for a bit" while Mingyu was with Wonwoo, she wanted to remind him that it was their version of a date. When he branded that special day as their "side trip" that was merely "funny, lol", she wanted to throw a baseball in his face and question him again, if he truly meant what he said. 

It was a cruel oxymoron, but his genuine nonchalance was knocking the air out of Minah, and for the rest of dinner she was breathless and silent. 

Mingyu being Mingyu, was a good brother. After she hid herself in her room once Jihoon left, Mingyu had knocked on her door to ask her about ice-cream. She knew inside that this was his way of asking what was wrong. He'd always offered ice-cream to console her when something was amiss. 

She wanted to tell him how much she appreciated that, and that vanilla would be a great idea. 

Yet a smaller part of her told her to lie in the dark, sleepless, because this was not something that could be reconciled by ice-cream in her system. 

By walking out and having the conversation with her brother, she would be acknowledging that she minded Jihoon ousted her so early in the game. She did not want to sound petty over dinner, so she had deliberately forced herself to swallow back questions about the girl. She'd already heard Jihoon mention that he wanted to go for this mysteriously charming admirer, but she could not bring herself to ask further. What's her name? Is she a senior, our age? What did she write in her letter that she caught your attention? How is she like? What do you like about her? Does she remind you of Younghee? Something I would never be able to do?

All those questions were now haunting as she laid awake in the night. Eventually her brother's voice went quiet too, suggesting that he had turned in. She thought about her decision to not ask Jihoon about his new girl at the dining table, choosing to pretend that was not the primary reason why she could not cheat him of another date at least. Just another day. She would have been happy. Did she regret her choice?

No. 

Because if she had uttered a single word, she would have betrayed her own secrets. 

Minah turned around in bed, grabbing her pillow and covering her own ears with it. 

She wanted to silence that one single voice. 

The one that told her that she liked Jihoon. 

If she could just sleep this away, she would still be able to keep a friend. 

-❤-

Mingyu and Minah was antsy in the morning, speculating how lunch would play out since Jihoon had supposedly "broken up" with Minah now. Was he still going to keep up the act in front of Wonwoo?

As it turned out, Jihoon had decided to not join them for lunch at all. In fact, neither of the sibling knew what their best friend went off to throughout the whole break. Minah was left watching her brother talking incessantly about the research for his project with Wonwoo, the latter paying his utmost attention to the details. For once, Minah was glad she was left out of a conversation. She munched quietly on her sandwich, taking in the success of hers and Jihoon's plans. Her brother was finally being himself around his crush. 

"Focus!" 

Her track and field seniors turned out to be the true monsters of the entire team. Like her, Eunha and Yerin were running on the track like it was the real thing. The upcoming tournament in the next week was turning their nice captain Nayoung into someone unrecognisable, and everyone was suffering under her guidance. Her new bond with Eunha and the lot was a tenuous one, but it seemed that as great athletes, they were truly more focused on their sport than high school boys. When given their three minute break, Eunha had thrown her a bottle of water from far away. Minah muttered a quick thank you, before everyone was summoned onto the tracks again. This training routine, if not bettering them, was definitely killing them. Perhaps going through the hell of training together could be the catalyst to her friendship with the rest of the runners. 

As the evening sun set on the way home, her running shoes hanging off her school bag and hitting her back lightly with the rhythm of her hesitant steps, Minah reminisced the time when she walked home with her brother and Jihoon in middle school. Those were simpler times, when they were inseparable. She could talk to them endlessly and knew for sure they would get her immediately. 

High school had barely started, and while it was not eroding her friendships, she certainly felt things were too different to ever turn back. Their schedule no longer allowed them to go home together. Her brother wanted to try for love and face his true self. Jihoon was stellar in everything as usual, chasing even bigger dreams than before. Even herself. Something was changing in her that she could not put her finger on. 

An abrupt and hard pat on her shoulder jolted her from her thoughts, and if it was not for that same hand to hold her, she might have fallen off the sidewalk. 

"What's up? You seem deep in thoughts." 

Jihoon was frowning, seemingly concerned by Minah's sudden loss of balance. The girl frantically waved a hand to in