CHAPTER 1

"Stop crying already, Ivy!" She almost whispered. "If your mom hears you, we're both dead. She'll definitely smack you across the face again!" 

I in my sob and tried crying quietly. 

"I can't believe you're crying this hard just because you couldn't go to his concert!" She glanced a bit to my bedroom door before handling me another piece of napkin. 

She moved a bit to the right before sitting down uncomfortably. My small room couldn't fit the both of us - if this is even considered a room. My room is a cupboard under the stairs. I don't even know how I managed to fit myself here for almost 15 years. I feel like Harry Potter sometimes, and I wish Hogwarts would just take me away.

I faced Zinnia before sobbing quietly. "Zee, you don't understand. I tried saving at least for the cheapest ticket just so I could see him." 

"I know," she sighed, "I know how many part-time jobs you worked on for this. And your mother is unbelievably insane for taking it from you." 

She held my head and caressed it softly. "Ivy, why don't you just leave this hell-hole? You're 22 now, and you're hardworking, you're better off without your foster parents." 

"You know I can't do that. They have my parents' bank books. They will never return it to me if I leave... It's the only thing I have left from my parents." 

"Ivy..." Zinnia hugged me and lets go before it got too uncomfortable because of lack of space. She glanced at her watch and then at the door. "I have to go. I'll see you at the cafe tomorrow, okay?" 

I nodded, finally stopping myself from all the sobbing. "Okay..." 

She crawled out of my room and smiled at me softly. "Don't worry, you'll meet him someday." 

All I did was nod before she disappeared from my sight and probably left through the back door. 

I hope I do meet him someday. Even once. Please. 

---

What do you want the most?

"What?" I glanced around and see nothing but white. "Where am I? Who are you?" 

I'll give you a chance...

I glanced again, trying to come up with a name for this place. 

to live a different life. 

Suddenly, I snapped towards the voice. "What do you mean?" 

Tell me how you want your life to be changed. Tell me what you want the most. 

I don't understand. Is this real?

Tell me you heart's desire and I will grant it. 

Without even thing about anything else, you heard the sound of his voice. 

My mind is not changed from the very first

but my mind is now full of wounds cuz of you

Cuz of your cold voice, I'm changing, I'm getting cold as well. 

It's hard to get back, between you and me

we are drifting farther and farther apart from each other

It's hard to go around each other

So I gave parting as a gift and turned my back

I'm falling without you

"I want him." I muttered. "I want to be with him, to be part of his life." 

To be part of his life... Ivy! 

"What?" 

Ivy!

"Ivy!" 

I immediately sat up and covered my head - anticipating the pain that I would feel because of the roof of my small room. 

But there was none. 

"What are you doing?" 

I immediately opened my eyes as I heard her voice. "Zee!" 

She looked confused. "Did you wake up in the wrong side of the bed, Ivy?" 

I blinked a couple of times, trying to scan the room I'm in. Blue curtains that actually only let a few sunlight in. A dresser with a few bottles of perfumes and girly things. A cabinet that's half open, showing a fair amount of clothes. A bed that could accommodate two people, with a dark and light blue bed sheet. This is definitely not my room this is ten times bigger than my room under the stairs. 

I looked at Zee again and she looked dressed to leave. Am I in her house? But this doesn't look like her house. 

"Are you gonna stay in bed all day? We're gonna be late!" She rushed towards me and pulled me up the bed. 

"Zee, I..." She pushed me towards a door and I only found out it was a bathroom when she successfully pushed me inside and closed the door. 

Completely confused, I still took a shower in a very unfamiliar bathroom - just because I have never seen this bathroom my whole life. The thing is, everything feels comfortable. The things in the bathroom felt like they were mine - they speak my character, and it's just so weird. 

When I finished, I found a pair of clothes on the bed. Black jeans and a sleeveless blouse. This is not my usual kind of style because I can't afford it. But maybe Zee let me borrow some of her clothes. I immediately wore it and decided to look for Zee outside of the room. Maybe she's got answers for my unlimited questions. 

"Finally!" She was sitting on the sofa in front of a large television. She stood up as she noticed me exit the door. "What's with you today? You seem really off." 

She was already on her way towards the door while she was speaking and I have no idea what to do. The place we're currently in looks like an apartment. Just outside the room I got out on is a small living room. There's another door to the right. I think if I turn right , I would find the dining area and kitchen. I followed her out of the door and saw her on the elevator, waiting for me. 

"Ivy, really? We're 15 minutes from being late." She said before the elevator closed. 

"Uhm, Zee?" I muttered. She was scrolling through her phone while waiting for the elevator reach the designated floor. "Where are we?" 

She suddenly raised her head and looked at me. She looked at me like I was crazy and I am close to thinking I'm crazy too. Or am I just dreaming? 

"Are you sick?" She suddenly touched my forehead and I shook my head immediately. 

The elevator opened and I rushed out. What's happening? 

We arrived in the cafe and our boss, Ms. Kim, immediately smiled at us. I smiled back. At least some things are the same. I felt a hint of relief in this crazy crazy day. I immediately went to my locker, my passcode was the same, but where's my uniform?

"Zee, where's my uniform?" She turned towards me while putting her bag inside the locker. 

"What uniform?" She muttered before closing her locked. "You're not required to wear a uniform anymore, Ivy. It's been like 3 months already." 

"What? Why?" I asked, closing my locker as well. 

"A manager doesn't need a uniform." She said as if I'm crazy. I know, Zee, I know! I think I'm crazy too. 

I didn't bother asking if I'm already a manager because she might throw me in a mental hospital with one more crazy question. I might throw myself inside a mental hospital even! 

The rest of the day in work seemed normal, and I found out from Zee that I only work in the cafe now. I quit the rest of my part-time jobs since working full-time here is enough for me. 

How did it become enough to my mother? 

Only one way to find out! 

I breathed the air once we got out of the cafe. The cafe was busy today and it felt good to distract myself or I'm going to be insane. 

"He's here already?" Zee asked. 

Who's here?

I scanned the surroundings, looking for anyone who could be coming towards us. What caught my eye was a man, standing next to a car a few feet away from us. 

I saw how the wind blew away his hair. His eyes were restless as he examined the crowd - searching for something. If this was any other day, I would have ran to him and ask him for an autograph or selfie, but I don't know why today felt different. His eyes stopped wandering and his face lit up. 

He was staring straight at.... me. 

Am I dreaming?

He raised his hand and waved it. "Ivy!" 

I gasped as I heard his voice call out for me. 

How could this be possible?