~Yumi~

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I closed the fron door, leaning against it as I felt my heart thumping crazily as a had a foolish smile on my face. I couldn't calm myself down, I couldn't think straight and I certainly couldn't believe that I actually had kissed JaeJoong on the cheek. The butterflies were roaming around crazily inside my stomach and I was crazy.

"Honey is that you?"

"Yes" I shouted back

"Have you had dinner yet? It's ready and on the table" Aunt shouted from the livingroom

"I'm good, I'm just having warm choco" I said

After I had finished making my hot choclate along with marshmallows I silently went upstairs and straight into my bedroom. I the lights, only to see Donghae sitting on my bed. I almost dropped the cup on the floor when Donghae was quick with catching it. I stared at him disbelivingly as he handed it back to me

"Hey there" He mumbled

"Hey..." I stuttered

"You're feeling better?" He asked

I nodded as I walked over to my bed, feeling myself wanting to find the distance between me and Donghae

He sat down on the chair at the end of my bed and looked at me as I crawled under the blanket and looked at him

"Are you scared of me?" He asked

I took a sip from the chocolate and swallowed hard.

Was I? Or was it just me not believing the fact of Donghae being a vampire? My best friend who moved away a long time ago and also was my first crush when I was kid. He was never my first love though so I don't understand why he would even mention that to the guys. Well, what's been done, has been done. Nothing to do about that. I sighed heavily before looking at him

"I don't know"

Donghae nodded

"But you're not afraid of them.."

"They've proven hemselves trustworthy enough for me to be around. I wasn't close with them a first" I said

"Really?" Donghae asked

I nodded

"They've saved my lifes. So many times already and Changmin and I connect with each other" I mumbled

"And JaeJoong?"

I don't know if it was a question or more like a statement of Donghae, as if he had realized something. I sighed once again

"Where are you going with this discussion anyway?"

"I just don't want you to be afraid of me. That's all.. I want to be able to be around you again" Donghae said

I swallowed hard

"But you're.. new.. to this life" I mumbled

"I know and that is also why I've fought so hard to get to the place I am in today. Do you realize that if I hadn't been transitioned into a vampire, I would have been dead by now?" Donghae asked

I put the cup of hot chocolate on the night desk and stared at him frightened and angrily

"But that certainly doesn't give you the excuse of killing innocent people Donghae!" I said upsetting

He sighed

"I know that but I've changed" He said

"How? In what ways?"

"I hunt animals.. I try my hardest each day in order to survive and not to feed on human blood" Donghae said

"I know it's a battle, but that's a battle that I cannot participate in"

"Don't I deserve the same kind of trust you give those guys? Afterall we used to be so close with each other" Donghae said

An expression on his face appeared which I couldn't understand or read but that wasn't all, I felt something more behind that

I swallowed hard as I realized that this was not the reason for him to talk to me about this. There was something else. I felt myself getting a little nervous

"I'm tired Donghae.. I really need to rest" I whispered

"Do you? Or are you avoiding me?" He whispered

I looked at him once again and saw the sadness and the hurt expression of his.

"I'm not avoiding you.. I just need some time to adjust myself. I need to understand what is happening to me, my surroundings and certainly this vampire thing. Everything that I believed in, everything that I though wasn't real, is actually real and also, everything that I've seen so far, don't you think I'm already messed up inside here?" I asked and gestured to my head

Donghae nodded, understanding me

"I just don't want to lose you" He said

"How can you lose me?"

Donghae looked at me, seriously, with a longing expression as if he was trying to send me a message but wasn't able to tell me

"It feels like I've already lost you.. a part of you at least" He said

"I don't .. understand what you're ... talking about" I whispered

He nodded

"I know"

He then got up from his chair and walked over to me. I looked at him, waiting for him to do his next action. He then suddenly bended down and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"I'll see you tomorrow okay?" He said

I nodded slowly, a bit surprised by his sudden action

The second after he disappeared and I felt myself breathing heavily. I took deep breaths as I tried to understand what was happening with my surroundings but it was jsu confusing at the moment.

Later on a knock on the door was heard and I saw Aunt enter as she looked at me

"Are you okay sweetie?"

"Huh? Of course.. why do you .. ask?"

"You've been out so much lately and just now it felt like something is bothering you" She said worriedly

"I just need... a little time I guess" I said and looked at her

"Seems like you've been spending the nigh out a lot of times recently. Is there something.. that I should know about?" She asked

I shook my head

"Not anything that I can think of"

She sighed

"I'm no here to torture you or to be in the way. I just want you to know that I'm here for you too. I understand.. that this is a crisis at your age. I never thought you would have any but I guess all teenagers or young adults has to go through it some time. And I also know that the best support is also your friends" She said

I chuckled

"You are really understanding Aunt" I smiled

She chuckled

"But the one thing I do force you to do is to have your cellphone on so that I can reach you whenever wherever.."

I rolled my eyes happily

"Of course"

She then smiled at me

"I guess I would be the greatest aunt if I gave you this and permission right?" She asked

"What are you talking abou?" I asked confused

"Car keys and the permission to sleep a Jiyeon's. I'm sure you'll be able to relax when you have a friend to discuss it with and also a friend who are able to make you think of other things" She smiled

I felt everything getting clearer and i couldn't help but to get out of bed and hug her tightly

"You're the best aunt ever"

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I got out of the car as I looked at the mansion in front of me. In a way I felt really mad at myself since I was in a way lying to Aunt about me sleeping over at Jiyeon's but I've already spoken to Jiyeon and she was going to cover it all up for me, only if I told her about the details on Monday. And I guess that would be absolutely worth it.

I started to wonder what JaeJoong was doing, as my stomach started to roam around, filled with butterflies and a ticklish and warm feeling. I felt my heart beating faster and I reminded myself to calm myself down since I didn't want the guys to hear it.

I dragged my feet against the mansion, wondering if this was okay for me to come over like this. But I felt the urge of wanting to see JaeJoong. I wanted to talk to him and I wanted to see him.

A deep breath was taken before I knocked on the door lightly, only to be met with Yunho's confusing eyes yet happy as he saw me

"Well.. seems like you missed.. us?" He asked and started to laugh

I smiled

"I feel.. better here" I whispered

Seems like I expressed that sentence wrongly cause' Yunho seemed to see my sad expression. I guess that was because of Donghae. My meeting with Donghae wasn't that pleasant and somehow he made me feel very uncomfortable. Just the thought of him scared me. I didn't feel that.. feeling of safeness around him and yet he tried to persuade me that he had changed. But what was more upsetting was that he was very selfish about him having to kill other people in order to survive. Somehow it feels like I would have done the opposite if I was forced to be in the same dilemma but then again, he should have chosen his words wisely..

I don't know. It was uncomfortable around him for the time being and I knew that this was the only place where I could avoid him, until I've decided and figured out myself. JaeJoong made me calm somehow and I needed him present, it was as if he was my diary, I was able to talk without having to write it down and he understood every litle thing..

"Come inside. It's cold outside" Yunho said

He took the bag of mine and helped me inside and we went to the livingroom where I saw Changmin playing games with Junsu. Both of them stopped the game and got up quickly when they saw me

"Hey there" Changmin said and looked at me

Junsu was also about to say hi when he stopped and looked at me more closely

"You're.. upset" He said

I sighed

"My head is a mess right now" I smiled

"Want to.. talk about it?" Changmin asked and walked towards me as he wrapped a blanket around me

I shook my head

"I think I just need to adjust myself.. realize.."

"It's Donghae isn't it?" Yunho asked

I spun around and faced him

I then nodded slowly as Yunho's face softened up

"Did he say something bad?" Junsu asked

"Not really.. I just don't know if 'My' donghae is still in that body.. and I guess I just need to adjust myself and come clear with he facts inside my head before I can.. feel a bit more at ease. Being here makes me feel somewhat calm.." I said

"JaeJoong is upstairs" Changmin smiled and nodded towards the direction where the stairs where

I nodded and took off my jacket and blanket and headed for the stairs. When I arrived at the second floor I started to walk down the hall, and I was about to knock on JaeJoong's door when I heard something from the other side, down the hallway. That door was closed and my instincts said that JaeJoong was in there

I went down the hallway and stopped in fron of the door. There was definitely sounds coming from inside and I opened it slightly as I poked my face through the opening and looked around

I then entered entirely and seems like JaeJoong didn't notice me. Or maybe he did but he was ignoring me. I felt my heart beating a lot faster than earlier, than any other moment when I've been around JaeJoong. I stared my eyeballs out when I saw him standing by the gym equipment, shirtless.

Never had I seen him without a shirt before and he had inked himself with several tattoos. Not only did that catch my eye, but his body was well toned and he looked so.. strong..

JaeJoong suddenly stopped with lifting the weight and seems like he was smelling the air a bit before he spun around and looked at me with a surprised face.

"Yumi" He said

HIs husky voice made my lips tremble. He then spun around entirely, taking off his gloves as he walked towards me. I instantly spun around in embarrassment, which caused JaeJoong to be even more surprised

"You're.. okay?" He asked

I swallowed hard

"You're.. shirtless..." I stuttered

JaeJoong burst out into laughter but was suddenly in front of me and he lifted my chin and looked into my eyes as I felt myself drowning in them

"Is it that embarrassing?"

He was teasing, stupid vampire

I rolled my eyes

"And if it is?"

He shrugged

"I like the color of your cheeks when you're blushing. So..." JaeJoong said warmly

This caused me to spin the other way around, not facing him and I heard him chuckle lightly

"Just a minute"

He then swished off and I think he was gone for 3 minutes before he came back, having a towel around his neck, wearing a black tank top along with black pants

When he was done he walked towards me and I could smell the scent of his cologne which almost made my knees weak

JaeJoong stood in front of me for a few seconds, seeing his eyes darting and watching my face

"You.. look .. tired.. and upset for some reason" He mumbled

"Just a lot of things on my shoulders"

"How about sharing them with me, I'm sure I can handle it all" He smiled

We walked out of the room where the gym equipment was and went to the guestroom where I was quick with crawling under the soft blanket and making it comfy and cozy for me. JaeJoong just laughed at me before he joined and sat down on the bed as well

"I have a feeling this concerns .. Donghae" He said

"A part of it" I shrugged

"And you're here because..."

"I was able to go out. Aunt let me out. Does my problems and burdens show that much in my face?" I asked

JaeJoong laughed

"Not really.. but.. it's just that.. the aura.. that you're giving.. the vibes.. it gives me the vibes that you're being troubled. Sometimes you do have a sad or a worried expression.. but most of the time you're hard to read. But you show your emotions.. and that is not a bad thing" He smiled

I nodded

"So.. what did Donghae do?"

"Gave me a kiss on my forehead, becoming a vampire, saying something about losing me.. or a part of me" I mumbled

"Oh.." Was JaeJoong's response

"What do you mean by Oh?" I asked

He chuckled

"I guess you were too weak that you didn't hear our conversation" He mumbled

"Your conversation? With Donghae?" JaeJoong nodded

JaeJoong turned his head to me and looked at me and took a deep breath before sighing

"He loves you. He kissed you good night in a way of hoping to see you tomorrow. He became a vampire, obviously because he wanted a second chance to be with you since he wasn't able to be with you in his human life. And the part of him saying that.. it feels like he has lost you.. or at least a part of you.. probably means that you're scared or something.. I don't know about the last part but I'm certain with the other ones. He loves you and looks like... he loves you deeply" JaeJoong whispered