Sometimes, Sunggyu wondered if fate was ever going to give him a break. He was at his wit’s end. There were the piles and piles of work due to the company’s upcoming Japan expansion. And the piles of work meant less time spent with his husband and children. Visits to Donghyun had lowered significantly and he found himself often missing his other son. Even at home, he worked.

Meanwhile, Woohyun was just as busy with planning the café with Kibum while also still working at the restaurant (though, his hours had been changed to part-time now that he was close to resigning). Thus, he also didn’t have much time to spend with Sunggyu and Myungsoo. It was putting a strain on their relationship.

Their situation was getting more and more complicated the older the kids got. Donghyun often showed signs of displeasure whenever Sunggyu and Myungsoo had to leave him after a visit, screaming and crying his head off whenever they got close to the door. Likewise, Myungsoo was asking more questions about why Donghyun couldn’t come home with them.

It was exhausting. And what was more was that he missed Woohyun. He missed having his husband to himself.

Wrapping his arms around Woohyun’s waist and tucking his head into the crook of his shoulder, Sunggyu whined a little. The younger, who was in the middle of placing some folders in a bag, chuckled at him.

“I thought I only had one baby,” he teased, not pausing from his task.

Sunggyu pecked his neck. “I miss you.”

“You see me every day.”

“It’s not the same. You’re always busy.”

“As are you.”

“We need a vacation.”

Woohyun finally turned in his arms to wrap his own around Sunggyu’s neck. “You know we can’t right now. We have too many things to take care of, so much bills, and-.”

“I know, I know,” Sunggyu interrupted with a sigh. “I just want you to myself again. Is that too much to ask?” Then, a brilliant idea popped into his head that wondered why he didn’t think of it before. “Why don’t we do something tonight, hmm? Just the two of us?”

Woohyun raised an eyebrow, looking intrigued. “Like what?”

“We can just stay at home. After we put Myungsoo to bed, we can put on a movie, cuddle, kiss a little, and…” He wiggled his eyebrows, flirtatiously, laughing as Woohyun turned red.

The younger lightly smacked him on the back. “ert.”

Sunggyu nuzzled their noses together. “What do you say, baby?” It had been a long time since he had called Woohyun that nickname, but he was feeling rather deprived and quite ually frustrated. “Wanna come home early tonight?”

Woohyun smiled and hope grew in Sunggyu’s heart. But, then, the younger’s smile dropped and he looked regretful.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know if I can…”

Disappointment settled and Sunggyu tried really hard not to let it show. But, Woohyun had already caught it.

“Hey.” The younger placed a hand on his cheek. “I’ll try really hard okay? But… I can’t promise you.”

Sunggyu forced a smile and nodded. “Alright. But, one of these days, we’re taking a day off just for ourselves. If I have to kidnap you, I will,” he added, half-joking.

Woohyun laughed at that and nodded. “Sounds good.”

Sunggyu leaned in to peck his lips once more before letting him go. “Time for me to head out.” He called out towards their son’s bedroom. “Myungsoo! Let’s go!”

Armed with their lunchboxes, the two of them made their good-byes to Woohyun as they headed out for the day.

Sunggyu still couldn’t stop the feelings of disappointment inside him, but there was nothing he could do.

Sometimes, he felt helpless when it came to his own husband. He even wondered if he was even making Woohyun happy anymore.

It worried him, greatly.

Woohuyn had been thinking about his husband’s disappointed face all day. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. He knew that he was being distant and neglectful lately due to his own busyness with work. But, there was also still a part of him that was resentful of what had happened several weeks ago when Myungsoo got appendicitis. He felt rather ashamed that he was avoiding his own husband but he didn’t want to explode like he did back then.

Sometimes, he wondered if he was truly over Sunggyu’s infidelity.

Nonetheless, he kept looking at his watch while he and Kibum looked at potential locations for the café. They were just leaving their third one when, once again, he looked at his watch.

Myungsoo had just gotten out of school and Boohyun was picking him up and having him stay with them for the day since Sunggyu was visiting Donghyun. Normally, his husband would bring Myungsoo too but he discovered that their son often neglected his homework if given the chance to spend the day with his brother, so Sunggyu had stopped bringing him during the weekdays.

“… what do you think, Hyun?”

He looked up to see Kibum’s expectant face. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

Kibum rolled his eyes. “I said that I think the building itself is great, but the location isn’t the best since it’s all residential. What do you think?”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right. I think we have a better chance at attracting customers in an area that doesn’t rely too much on mom-and-pop stores. It would take us years to establish a name and be trusted.” Woohyun looked at the next location on his list. “The next one looks promising. It’s near a university and a park.”

Without realizing, he had looked at his watch again.

“Uh, do you have somewhere to be?”

“Actually… do you think we can end early today?”

Kibum raised an eyebrow. “Why? Are you going somewhere?”

Woohyun smiled fondly. “Sunggyu really wants to spend some time together with me tonight and… well… I feel that I kind of owe him some attention after… you know…”

He let the statement hang, but Kibum understood, immediately. He witnessed it after all.

“Sure,” the blonde said, looking at his own list. “Why don’t we skip the last two after this one? We can re-schedule those.”

At the proposal, Woohyun could feel himself beaming. “Thank you, Kibum! I owe you!”

He then took his phone out and called Boohyun to let him know that he was picking Myungsoo up early. He contemplated calling Sunggyu to let him know the good news but thought that maybe he could surprise him instead with a homemade dinner of all his favorite foods.

His husband was going to be so surprised and happy when he came home tonight, Woohyun was sure of it.

Sinking onto the couch, Sunggyu allowed his tired muscles to finally relax and for the tension to slowly dissipate. It had been a quite exhausting day and he couldn’t wait to go home tonight. But, first…

A cute “Papa!” took him out of his musings and he smiled at the little ball of sunshine on his lap. Donghyun was waving his little hands to get his attention, still intent on playing with his tired father. But they had already played several rounds of tag and chase (little Donghyun loved to run as soon as he finally figured out how to walk. Sunggyu was proud and terrified at the same time). Sunggyu was supposed to tire him out so he could be put down for his nap and he could start heading home, but the toddler was particularly energetic today.

“Donghyun-ah, Appa is tired,” he whined at the baby, who continued tugging at his shirt, urging him to get up and chase him again.

Donghyun made a series of babbles in his baby talk, sounding like he was scolding his father for being so tired.

“But, Appa wants to rest,” Sunggyu answered the babbles with a pout. “And you need to nap.”

At the word “nap”, Donghyun went, “No!” and responded with the shaking of his head and a pout of his own. Sunggyu wondered if he spoiled him too much and had even asked Woohyun about it. His husband had told him to be firm, but how could he be firm when Donghyun just looked so darn cute?!

In the end, he gave in to his adorable little boy. “Fine, just one more round, okay?”

Whether the toddler understood him was irrelevant since as soon as Sunggyu put him back down on the floor, he began to waddle away into a cute little run, sending his father mischievous smirks, as if daring him to catch him.

They spent another hour like that, with Donghyun running around and hiding while Sunggyu chased him, pretending that he couldn’t catch him. By the end of it, Sunggyu was ready to collapse so he grabbed the baby, tickling him as he headed for the couch again to plop himself on to it.

Donghyun shrieked and giggled to his heart’s content. As soon as his father stopped tickling him, the toddler suddenly yawned, all of his energy finally spent from playing and running. Sunggyu just watched him as he cuddled onto his chest, his little hands onto his father’s shirt. Soon, his eyes closed and he fell into a deep slumber.

And finally, Sunggyu could relax. He was feeling even more worn out than he did earlier. His own eyes fluttered as he fought to stay awake. He needed to put Donghyun into his crib. He needed to start getting ready to go home.

But, maybe a minute or two’s rest wouldn’t hurt. He was just really tired.

Sunggyu closed his eyes.

As soon as the door opened, Myungsoo skipped inside, quickly heading to his room to put his things away. Since he had finished all of his homework at Boohyun’s, Woohyun was allowing him to help with dinner.

Woohyun chuckled at his son’s enthusiasm, feeling himself more relaxed than he had been in days.

“I’ll be in the kitchen!” he called out to him, carrying the numerous bags of ingredients to make kimchi jjigae and gyoza, Sunggyu’s favorites.

 It was still fairly early, so he had time to get everything ready for the other’s return home. And, with his little helper, he was sure they would finish faster.

He was looking forward to a wonderful night with the love of his life. He felt giddy just thinking about it.

Mrs. Wang had just finished making dinner so she headed for the living room to do a little cleaning up before she left for the night. To her surprise, her employer, Mr. Kim was still around. He usually left by that time. No wonder everything seemed quiet in the last hour or so.

The man was sitting on the couch, fast asleep, with little Donghyun curled up in his arms. It was a sweet picture. She often pitied the poor man for not having much time to spend with his son, but she knew that their situation was quite a unique one.

Well, Mrs. Wang wasn’t one to pry in other people’s business and the family was kind and fair to her so she wasn’t going to turn her back and gossip about the hands that feed her.

“Awww, that’s cute.”

She turned her head to see the young miss, Eunseo, coming out of her room, probably finished with her work. She smiled at the father and son duo on the couch.

“Should I wake him? He should have left by now,” Mrs. Wang told her, knowing that if the man stayed any longer, it could pose an issue for him and his spouse.

Don’t get her wrong. Mrs. Wang adored Eunseo and she was a sweet young woman, but unfortunately, she was also still so young and a little naïve, despite being a mother now. She may not say much about it, but Mrs. Wang could see the sparkle of hope in her eyes every time Mr. Kim was visiting his son. She would also see that hope die each time Mr. Kim mentioned his husband.

Eunseo approached the sleeping forms. Gently, she pried Donghyun from his father’s arms and walked with him to his crib on the corner of the living room and laid him in there, tucking him in. Then, she went back to Mr. Kim and patted his shoulder.

“Sunggyu-shii? Sunggyu-shii, wake up.”

But, the man didn’t wake up. Mrs. Wang could see her hands lingering on his arm and she cleared .

Blushing, Eunseo pulled her hand away and straightened with a sigh. “He seems exhausted. Let’s let him rest for a bit longer.”

“Then, I suggest you call Mr. Nam and let him know,” Mrs. Wang reminded her.

Eunseo’s face fell at that but nonetheless, she nodded. “Yes, I suppose I should.”

Mrs. Wang flashed her a pointed look before going to one of the closets to grab a blanket for the sleeping man. Then, she went about her duties, making sure to be quiet as she tidied up. When she finished, her employer was still fast asleep.

“Did you call Mr. Nam?” she asked Eunseo as the young woman walked her to the door.

She seemed caught off-guard. “Oh, no. Not yet. I’ll do that now.”

“Make sure you do,” Mrs. Wang told her before adding, “Please don’t make trouble for him and Mr. Nam. You know how delicate their relationship is right now.”

Eunseo had the shame to look at least sheepish before nodding. “I will. Thank you, Mrs. Wang.”

The older woman nodded. “Wake him up and send him home now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As she left the apartment to head up to her own, she couldn’t help but worry so she took out her own phone and dialed Mr. Nam’s phone. The other line rang but no one answered. She tried two more times, but no one answered so she left a message.

“Mr. Nam, it’s Mrs. Wang. I’m just letting you know that Mr. Kim fell asleep here, he had a rather tiring day. But, Eunseo is waking him and I’m sure he’ll be on his way home soon. Have a good evening.”

The woman hung up, knowing that she did her duty and proceeded to head home.

As the clock struck 7:30, Woohyun started feeling a bit worried. He had finished cooking at 7 and Sunggyu was usually home by then. Myungsoo was sitting at the dining table, watching the food with a pout. Woohyun knew he was hungry but they were waiting for Sunggyu. They were supposed to have a family dinner.

“Myungie-ah, why don’t you start eating?” he said to the 7-year-old.

“But, Appa’s not here yet.”

“It’s okay, I know you’re hungry. So, eat first, okay, baby?”

Myungsoo appeared to think about it before nodding. “I’ll eat only a little so I can eat again when Appa gets home,” he declared before saying his “thanks” and stuffing his face with jjigae and rice.

Woohyun chuckled at the sight a little and turned back to the clock. It was 7:35 now. Now that he thought about it, he left his phone charging in the bedroom while he cooked. Perhaps there was a message from Sunggyu?

While his son ate, he headed for the bedroom. His phone was now fully charged and there were some missed calls and a voicemail from Mrs. Wang.

“Mr. Nam, it’s Mrs. Wang,” the message began. “I’m just letting you know that Mr. Kim fell asleep here, he had a rather tiring day. But, Eunseo is waking him and I’m sure he’ll be on his way home soon. Have a good evening.”

Oh, so that was what happened. Silly Sunggyu. He must have been truly exhausted to fall asleep. Well, then, Woohyun would wait just a little longer.

Fingers brushed through the strands of his hair, stirring him from his slumber. Unfamiliar fingers. An unfamiliar touch. It made him uncomfortable.

Slowly, Sunggyu forced himself to get conscious of his surroundings. The soft comfort of the couch at his back. The emptiness in his arms. And those fingers…

Sunggyu’s eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times to adjust to the sudden light. The figure in front of him slowly cleared into the familiar face of Eunseo.

As soon as that registered in his brain, he was suddenly wide awake. Jerking away from her touch, he looked around. He was still at her apartment.

“What time is it?” he quickly asked while grabbing for his phone on the coffee table.

The numbers flashing before him made unpleasant knots form in the pits of his stomach as fear gripped him: 9pm.

“!” he cursed out loud, standing up quickly and rushing to the door.

He should have been home an hour ago!

“Why didn’t you wake me?!” he practically shrieked at Eunseo, who still stood frozen by the couch as she watched him put on his shoes and his jacket.

“I… I’m sorry… You were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you-.”

“Woohyun is going to be upset!” His anger and frustration were overflowing now. “Do you know how much damage this could cause?! I’ve already done many things that push him away from me and I don’t need another one!”

Eunseo’s lip quivered but as she opened to say something again, no words came out.

But, Sunggyu didn’t care. He was already rushing out of the apartment, not even bothering to say “good-bye” or check on Donghyun. All his thoughts were on Woohyun. What would his husband think?!

On the way home, he tried to call the other’s cellphone but there was no answer, frustrating him even more. He ran a red light. He almost crashed into the car in front of him. And he even went over the speed limit a few times.

He was that desperate to get home.

He rushed in, calling out an “I’m home!”, not bothering to arrange his shoes on the rack as he slipped them off and quickly made his way down the hallway.

But, nothing could truly prepare him for what awaited in the living room.

Woohyun was sitting on the couch, Myungsoo curled up in his lap and fast asleep. When Sunggyu entered, the other man looked up at him with a blank expression. The sight of dry tear tracks on his husband’s cheeks stabbed right at Sunggyu’s heart.

He messed up. Again. He hurt Woohyun. Again. He made him cry. Again.

“Y-Yeobo,” he called out. “I… I’m sorry! I fell asleep and-.”

“I came home early to make us dinner,” Woohyun interrupted, his voice devoid of emotion. “Myungsoo helped me. We waited all night. I had to tell him to eat but he didn’t eat much because he wanted to wait for you. He got too tired.” Slowly, Woohyun lifted the little boy into his arms and stood up, facing Sunggyu. “And I’m tired too.”

Without another word, he turned away and walked away. Sunggyu stood there, rooted to his spot, the feelings of guilt and despair eating away at his conscience. He heard the shutting of a bedroom door and knew that he was sleeping alone that night.

The COO forced his legs to move down the hallway, past the master’s bedroom, until he reached his son’s room. He tried the knob, despite knowing that it would be locked anyway. It was.

He sighed. “Woohyun-ah,” he softly called through the door. “I’m sorry… I know I say it a lot but please believe me when I say that I mean it every time. I’m sorry. I’m…” His voice got stuck in his throat as his heart tightened in his chest. “I’m trying… I really am… Yeobo… I love you so much… I’m sorry.”

Somehow, he managed to find his way back to the living room and collapsed on the sofa, arm over his eyes as he tried to control his tears.

He messed up again. He always messed up. Why couldn’t he do anything right? Why couldn’t he fulfill his vow to make Woohyun happy?

How much was he lacking that he couldn’t do the one thing that his husband deserved?

He fell asleep with those thoughts swirling in his head.

When he awoke to the sounds of shuffling and moving about, he didn’t feel well-rested at all. The growling of his stomach reminded him that he didn’t even have dinner.

Slowly, he sat up, stretching his aching muscles. Woohyun was there, already dressed for the day and putting breakfast in front of him on the coffee table. Sunggyu studied his face but his husband’s expression was unreadable. He wouldn’t even look Sunggyu in the eye.

“I’m taking Myungsoo to school today,” he mumbled before walking off quickly.

Sunggyu immediately chased after him. “Woohyun, wait, we have to talk.”

“I don’t want to.”

Sunggyu managed to grasp his arm. “Woohyun-.”

“Sunggyu, please!” Woohyun yanked his arm away, eyes watering. “Just… don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”

“But-.”

“Myungsoo! Time to go, baby!”

Their son’s bedroom door opened and out stepped Myungsoo, still rubbing his eyes as he clutched his bag.

“But it’s so early,” he whined.

“Say goodbye to Appa. We’re leaving.”

Sunggyu welcomed his son’s hug and goodbye kiss, patting the boy on the head as he headed for the front door to put on his shoes, Woohyun following behind him, totally ignoring Sunggyu.

Soon, he found himself left alone in the empty apartment.

Lee Howon knew that he sometimes came off as rather cold and standoffish. And, maybe he was. But, the truth was that he was just simply a quiet man. He preferred to observe, form conclusions, and take the possible next steps. That attitude allowed him to excel in business school and rise in the ranks.

Unlike his best friend Sunggyu, however, he was more of a follower than a leader. And he was a good listener.

Which was exactly what he was doing at that moment. Sunggyu was, once again, releasing all his woes on him and Howon didn’t mind at all. He prided himself on being his best friend’s confidant. Too often, Sunggyu didn’t really need any advice; he just needed a release. Howon knew when he actually needed advice because he would just directly ask. And Howon wasn’t the type to give unsolicited advice anyway. It was a pet peeve when others did it to him.

So, when Sunggyu finally collapsed on the office chair after finishing spilling his guts, he simply sat there and nodded, offering a sympathetic look.

They stayed like that in silence for a minute or so, neither one talking.

Finally, Sunggyu looked up at him. “Should I let Woohyun go?”

Howon was taken aback. Let Woohyun go? Sunggyu? Those two were one of the most inseparable couples he knew. He thought he and Dongwoo were stuck like glue but Sunggyu and Woohyun’s bond were on a different level. So that question was a shock and quite frankly, Howon didn’t know how to respond.

“What if…” Sunggyu continued, his internal turmoil showing bit by bit on his face. “What if… he asks for a divorce? Should I let him go?”

This was a question he should be asking his husband, not Howon.

“Is that what you want?” he asked, instead.

Sunggyu appeared to contemplate but eventually shook his head. “No,” he replied in a low voice. “But… I’ve hurt him so much… Howon, if you were in Woohyun’s place, would you want to leave too?”

Howon raised an eyebrow. “You mean if Dongwoo cheated on me the same way you did and continued to beg for my forgiveness?”

Sunggyu nodded.

Howon thought about it. He and Dongwoo had been together for close to a decade now. The other man was faithful and devoted. Sure, they’ve had their fair share of fights, but what couple didn’t? They always made it work.

“No,” he answered, honestly. “I wouldn’t want to leave. I think… I’d be hurt. I’d probably be angry for a while. But, I love Dongwoo too much. And I’m willing to make it work.”

He met Sunggyu’s defeated gaze.

“But, I’ve hurt him too much,” his friend said with a sigh. “Sometimes… sometimes I wonder if I even deserve Woohyun’s love. Sometimes… I can’t help but wonder how he could still love someone as unworthy as me.”

“Liking someone is not a choice,” Howon answered, feeling a little surprised at his own words. “It comes from your heart. Now, choosing to stay and love that someone despite the pain? That’s a choice. And Woohyun chose you.”

Sunggyu’s lips quivered slightly. “What if… he chooses to leave?”

Ah, the most difficult question of all. One that Howon, himself, had a ready answer for. He contemplated lying, believing it was for the best. But, lying wouldn’t do his friend any good, now, would it? And Sunggyu relied on his advice since he was asking for it so straightforwardly.

Howon sighed, knowing his next words would bring pain. “Then, you let him go.”

Sunggyu’s face crumpled and his eyes fell onto one of the picture frames on his desk: their family photo.

Howon chose to remain silent then, not wanting to upset the other man further.

To his surprise, Sunggyu suddenly stood up, looking determined.

“I’m done for the day. I’m heading out.”

Howon eyed the stack of documents on the COO’s desk and knew that he might have to do some of that work again. He didn’t mind, though. He liked the work.

So, he didn’t say anything and only wished the other good luck as he marched out the door, calling for his secretary.

Woohyun was not having the best day, to be honest. He almost got himself and Myungsoo lost on the way to school, even though he knew the way by heart. He messed up on various orders, causing the loss of much ingredients and the ire of the head chef. And he just felt utterly sluggish and out of energy that the rest of the kitchen workers had all asked him at least once if he was sick.

Finally, the head chef ordered him to take the rest of the afternoon off because he was disrupting the kitchen flow.

He called Kibum to meet up with him. They didn’t even have any plans that day. But Woohyun really needed someone to talk to. His mind were filled so many thoughts and none of them were pleasant. He didn’t want to think bad about his husband but after what happened last night, he couldn’t help it.

The feelings of inadequacy and insecurity were creeping up on him again and he didn’t know how to shut them out.

When Kibum arrived, the blonde didn’t hesitate to pull him into a hug.

“You okay?” he asked Woohyun.

The chef shook his head. “I’m a mess,” Woohyun replied.

Kibum placed his arm over his shoulders and steered him towards the door. “Come on, let’s go.” They started to leave the restaurant. “Wanna get coffee? Or maybe some ice cream?”

Before Woohyun could answer, he paused in his tracks.

There, in front of them, was Sunggyu, holding a bouquet of flowers.

For some minutes, the three of them stood there, on the pavement of the restaurant parking lot, just staring at each other. Sunggyu’s eyes looked hurt, a frown on his lips. His hands were shaking as their grip on the flowers tightened, his knuckles turning white. Woohyun could only stand there, with Kibum’s arm wrapped around his shoulders. Somehow, he felt a little prick of guilt when he realized what they must have looked like so he gently shrugged Kibum’s arm off of him.

“W-What are you doing here?” was what Woohyun ended up saying.

“I… wanted to say ‘sorry’,” was Sunggyu’s answer. His eyes narrowed towards Kibum. “If I had known you were going out with him again, I would have come by earlier.”

His husband’s bitter tone didn’t escape him.

“Can we talk?” Sunggyu continued.

Woohyun was about to agree when flashes of last night filled his mind. Of how he came home early to start cooking. Of Myungsoo complaining about being hungry but wanting to wait. Of Mrs. Wang’s message. Of sitting on the couch, a stack of DVD’s on the coffee table, waiting all night for a late husband to come home from another woman’s house.

No, he didn’t want to talk.

He shook his head and schooled his features. “Not now, Sunggyu. I’m really not in the mood.”

He made to walk past him to get to his car, but Sunggyu grabbed his arm as he passed. “Woohyun, please, just let me explain-.”

“Explain what?!” Woohyun couldn’t stop himself. “About why you came home late from that woman’s house? Mrs. Wang left me a message at 7:30 to tell me you had fallen asleep but that she was going to wake you up so you can home to us. Why didn’t you come home?!”

“I did come home! I was late but I came home!” Sunggyu grabbed his arm, desperately. “Woohyun, please, it was an accident. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I was going to come home like I always did.”

“How many more accidents are you going to end up doing before it becomes one more thing that you can’t take back?”

The despair on Sunggyu’s face tugged at Woohyun’s heart, but at that moment, he could barely even see through the tears in his eyes.

“Woohyun, please,” the older begged, his voice strained and… broken.

Woohyun wanted to give in. He wanted to say “it’s okay.” He wanted to tell his husband he forgave him because he did.

But, before he could move or talk, Kibum was there at his side.

“Sunggyu-hyung, I think you might want to give Hyun a little space.”

The COO’s eyes flashed in anger at the blonde. “This has nothing to do with you!”

“It has everything to do with me,” Kibum responded, calmly. “Woohyun is my friend and right now, he’s in distress because of you. So, it is my concern.” His eyes narrowed. “Remember what we talked about last time? If you don’t get your act together, I’m really going to through with it.”

Woohyun’s brows furrowed in confusion. Last time? What did they mean? What was Kibum talking about?

“You wouldn’t dare! Woohyun is my husband.”

Kibum flashed a smirk. “For now.”

“Why, you-.”

“Stop!”

The two turned to him, worried at his outburst.

Woohyun’s mind was reeling with emotions he could barely name. He was feeling so many things at once and he felt sick to his stomach. He just wanted to get out of there.

Without another word at either of them, he turned and ran to his car. Just as he started the engine, Kibum had caught up and Woohyun gave him some time to get settled in the passenger seat before pulling out of the parking lot.

On the rearview mirror, he could see Sunggyu’s figure, just watching him drive away.

He didn’t move until Woohyun finally turned a corner and lost sight of him.

When he was younger, Kim Kibum’s parents left Korea in pursuit of better employment in America and he was left in the care of his grandmother. He was always that one kid in his class who got dropped off by his grandmother, whose important school events were attended by his grandmother, and whose report cards were signed by his grandmother.

Thus, it was from his grandmother that Kibum learned the true meaning of unconditional love. It was loving another for everything they are – flaws and all. It was loving without asking for anything in return.

So, when Kibum fell in love with Woohyun, he loved with all his might without expecting anything in return. The pain of Woohyun’s marriage, seeing him again, working with him and rekindling their friendship, all these Kibum did unconditionally.

And, even now, as he watched Woohyun sleep on the couch of his rented Seoul apartment, he expected nothing from the other man. He was satisfied with just this.

Woohyun had broken down crying on the highway earlier and had to pull over. Kibum had to switch with him, even leaving his own car at the restaurant parking lot (he would call them later to let them know he would pick it up). On the way to his apartment, Woohyun had fallen asleep, exhausted and weary from all the emotions he felt that day.

Kibum wished there was something he could do but Woohyun’s husband was right in a sense: this whole situation had nothing to do with him. It was between Woohyun and Sunggyu. He certainly didn’t mean to aggravate the man, earlier. But, he felt that Sunggyu wasn't really getting that Woohyun needed some time away from him to gather his thoughts. He really hoped there weren’t any hard feelings between them later on.

Sighing, he continued making dinner, knowing that Woohyun would he hungry when he woke up. He had been sleeping all afternoon and it was practically evening now. He had called Myungsoo’s school earlier on Woohyun’s behalf and was relieved to find out that Sunggyu had picked him up. Good. At least Woohyun wouldn’t worry when he woke up.

As he was preparing the table, he heard the ruffle of sheets and a soft groan. A minute later, Woohyun was padding into the kitchen, his hair messy and his eyes barely opening.

Cute.

Kibum felt himself blush at the sight, though he acted like it was nothing.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” he greeted. "Well, evening."

Woohyun blinked a few times before his eyes widened in shock and panic. “Evening?! ! Myungsoo!”

“Calm down, I already called the school. Your husband picked him up.”

At that, Woohyun began to calm down but his face fell at the mention of his husband. Sighing, he sat at the table as Kibum placed the food in front of him. It was a simple meal of seaweed soup, kimchi, and rice.

Together, they ate dinner in silence.

The other barely ate, only picking at his food.

Kibum sighed at his forlorn mood. “After dinner, you should go home. I’m sure Sunggyu-hyung is worried about you.”

Woohyun flinched, dropping his chopsticks in the process. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Kibum, what’s wrong with me?” he mumbled, miserably. “I know Sunggyu didn’t mean it. But… why am I so angry?” He sighed. “Lately, everything he does that involves Eunseo just… irritates me. I know he loves me and he feels nothing for her and he’s only seeing her out of obligation for Donghyun… but why does it annoy me so much?!”

Kibum put his own chopsticks down before folding his hands in front of him. “Hyun… are you really over what happened?” he asked, kindly.

Woohyun seemed surprised at the question.

Kibum continued, “I mean, I know you told me that you forgave Sunggyu-hyung a long time ago… but are you actually over it?”

“I… I don’t know.” Woohyun’s lip quivered. “I… I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Kibum reached across the table to hold one of Woohyun’s hands, hoping to reassure him. “I think you and hyung need to talk again. You need to tell him how you’re feeling.”

Woohyun squeezed his hand. “I don’t want to lose him, Kibum,” he whispered. “I love him so much.”

Kibum smiled, genuinely even though his own heart was breaking once again. “Then fight for him.” Kibum wished everyday that he had done the same many years ago. “Don’t give up now, Woohyun.”

For the first time all day, Woohyun finally smiled and it was that smile that made Kibum’s heart flutter. He loved making Woohyun happy. He wished he was the one the latter would find happiness with because he had no doubt that he could take care of him for the rest of their lives.

 “Thank you, Kibum. You’re amazing, you know that, right? You’re my best friend.”

But, he wasn’t the one Woohyun wanted and needed. He wasn’t the one who held Woohyun’s heart. There was only one. And at the end of everyday, Woohyun would always return to that man.

It was late evening by the time Woohyun got home. He had to drop off Kibum at the restaurant to pick up his car. To be honest, Woohyun felt a little silly with his actions from earlier, just driving off without a word and driving with tears in his eyes. He could have gotten himself and Kibum into an accident!

But, he had to admit, the nap at Kibum’s felt good for his weary body. And the talk afterward gave him a little sense of clarity on the situation.

He knew what he had to do. He had to apologize to Sunggyu and tell him everything he had been feeling. It wasn’t wise to keep important things like these to his husband. They were supposed to be partners. He, himself, had told Sunggyu that a year ago when he forgave him.

He hadn’t been acting like a very good partner lately.

“I’m home,” he announced in a soft voice as he reached entryway to the living room.

There, on the couch, laid Sunggyu, fast asleep with Myungsoo wrapped around him. There were dried tear tracks on his face and he was holding their son like a lifeline against him.

Woohyun put his things down on the coffee table before quietly padding over to the two. He gently shook Myungsoo awake first.

“Baby, wake up,” he whispered into the boy’s ear.

The 7-year-old slowly opened his eyes, blinking blearily at Woohyun. “P-Papa…”

Woohyun pressed a finger to his lips and made a “shhh” sound. “Let’s go to your room?”

The little boy nodded and Woohyun helped extricate himself from his other father’s arms. As soon as he was free, he raised his arms to Woohyun who wordlessly picked him up to carry him to his bedroom.

“Papa… we made dinner… fried chicken…” Myungsoo mumbled as Woohyun tucked him in.

The chef raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Really?”

Myungsoo nodded, sleepily as Woohyun placed Byul and L in his arms. “Mmhmm… Promise… Appa got burned…”

Woohyun’s breath hitched. He didn’t see a burn earlier.

“Appa was really sad today… he cried while making the chicken,” Myungsoo continued. He looked at Woohyun with a pout. “He says he’s sorry he made you cry. Will you make up with Appa, Papa? I don’t want us to run away to Halmeoni’s again. I want to stay with Appa.”

His heart began to ache at his son’s words so he pressed a kiss to his brow. “I’ll make up with Appa.”

“Yay!” Myungsoo smiled a toothy smile. “Appa and Papa are the best.”

With those last words, Myungsoo finally closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Woohyun stayed at his side for a few minutes, wiping his tears away as he watched his son. The little boy knew exactly how to tug at his heart. And even after all this time, he was still hurt when Woohyun took him away from Sunggyu all those months ago.

Lucky for Myungsoo, he had no plans to run away. Not this time.

His tears all wiped away, he gathered himself before leaving Myungsoo’s bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. First, he headed for the kitchen. Right on the dining table was dinner, just like Myungsoo said. A place had been set for him and the chicken looked a little burned but he concluded that it was edible.

Woohyun was surprised yet felt a little touched at the gesture. His heart was softening. Sunggyu had no reassurance that he was going to return home that night, yet he still tried to make dinner to apologize.

He returned to the living room to where Sunggyu was still fast asleep. Woohyun settled himself by his husband’s waist, his eyes running over the slumbering form. His eye caught sight of a small red mark on Sunggyu’s right wrist. That must be where he had been burned. It wasn’t bad as he initially thought yet he couldn’t help the twinge of worry that came over him.

He reached with a hand to run them through Sunggyu’s messy dark locks. As if he felt him, Sunggyu twitched. Not removing his hand from his husband’s hair, Woohyun only watched as Sunggyu stirred and groaned groggily at being woken up.

Slowly, the older man opened his eyes, blinking to adjust to the sudden light and when they caught sight of Woohyun at his side, they widened immediately. Quickly, he sat up.

“Woohyun! You’re home.” He made to get up. “Did you eat? I made chicken, I think I burned it, but Myungsoo said it was still good.”

Woohyun stopped him with a hand on his wrist, pulling him back to sit on the couch next to him.

Without a word, Woohyun laid his head on his shoulder. Sunggyu immediately tensed up, but Woohyun stayed like that, even linking his hand with his husband’s own.

“Woohyun… I’m sorry,” Sunggyu said, softly. “Please, believe me. I didn’t mean to. I’m… I’m trying, I really am. Please believe me.”

“I know,” Woohyun replied. Finally, he looked up at Sunggyu. “What’s happening to us?” he whispered, feeling his heart tightening in his chest.

Sunggyu squeezed his hand. “I don’t know…” he replied.

Woohyun laid his head back on Sunggyu’s shoulder. “You know, when I heard Mrs. Wang’s message, I wasn’t worried at all. I figured I would just wait for you because I know these things can happen. But, then, we waited for so long. An hour turned into two hours. I couldn’t help but cry but I don’t know why. Why did I cry? Why did I think you weren’t coming home to me? And why was I so angry at you when I know you didn’t mean to?”

Sunggyu was silent but Woohyun couldn’t blame him for not having an answer. Woohyun didn’t have one either.

“Maybe a part of me still hasn’t moved on,” he admitted. “Maybe a part of me still resents you and Eunseo for what you did. Maybe…” He raised his head again to look at his husband, who couldn’t meet his eyes. "Sometimes, I feel like you'll leave us like what Appa did to my family."

Sunggyu's grip tightened. "I'm not your Appa, Woohyun. I would never leave you and Myungsoo."

"I know." Woohyun squeezed his hand. “And... I’m jealous… because for once, there are others who have your attention. You’re not solely mine anymore, Sunggyu.”

Sunggyu’s breath hitched. "D-Donghyun is important to me too, Woohyun."

"I know he is. He's your son."

Sunggyu swallowed before meeting Woohyun’s eyes. “Do you… want to leave me?”

Those words sent an arrow straight to Woohyun’s heart.

Sunggyu continued, his voice shaking. “I know that I don’t make you as happy as I used to anymore… that I’ve hurt you far too much and too many times in the last year alone. I didn’t fulfill my promise to make you happy. So… if you want, Woohyun… For your happiness… If you want to leave me… I’ll…” He swallowed again. “I’ll… let you go… if you need me to.”

“W-What?” Woohyun stammered.

A tear escaped from Sunggyu’s eye. “If you want to divorce me… I’ll let you. Because I don’t want you to be unhappy anymore, Woohyun. And if you want to find happiness elsewhere and not with me… I’ll willingly let you go, yeobo. I love you that much.”

“What?! No way!” Feeling a surge of possessiveness dominate him, Woohyun grabbed Sunggyu’s face in both hands, squeezing the cheeks as he looked into his eyes. “You’re mine, got that? There’s no way I’m going to let you let me go. No way.”

“B-But… Woohyun… if you’re not happy-.”

“I’ll be unhappier if I’m away from you,” Woohyun said and found that he meant it.

No matter how hurt he had been. No matter how many tears he had shed. No matter the spikes of jealousy that often took over him, he never had the intention to leave Sunggyu. None at all.

“Neither of us are perfect,” he continued. “I’ve hurt you too these last few weeks, haven’t I? I’ve been distant to you. I haven’t been paying attention to you. All you wanted was time spent with me and I wouldn’t even give you that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I’m so sorry.”

Sunggyu pressed their foreheads together but it wasn’t enough for Woohyun. He moved his head forward to press his lips against his husband’s. Peace washed over him at the intimate contact and he could feel Sunggyu relaxing against him as well.

The sweet kiss turned passionate, lighting a fire inside Woohyun. Before he knew it, he was pushing Sunggyu down onto the couch, his fingers leaving the plump cheeks to fumble at the buttons of the older man’s shirt. Sunggyu’s own hands were wandering, leaving a trail of goosebumps on Woohyun’s skin.

Cushions fell on the floor and were later joined by articles of clothing. The moon and stars peeking in from the curtains were witness to the rekindling love and forgiveness, as their voices were purposely made soft and restrained.

And when the fires of passion slowly flickered into a soft flame, Woohyun found himself snuggling into his husband’s chest, as the older reached for his shirt on the floor to drape it over their bodies for a little warmth.

They quietly laid for several minutes in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Sunggyu held him like he was going to disappear from his sight if he as much as loosened his hold. Woohyun held him in the same way, not wanting to let go. Not ever.

“I meant it, you know,” Sunggyu whispered.

Woohyun raised his head to look at him.

“If you want a divorce, Woohyun-.”

“I don’t want a divorce,” the younger said in a firm tone. “Being away from you won’t make me happy. It won’t make Myungsoo happy, either. We’ll be miserable and I don’t want that.” He pressed a kiss to the bare chest in front of him. “The two of us… We’ll both make mistakes… We’ll both make each other cry at some point…” He flashed his husband a determined and possessive look. “But that doesn’t mean that we won’t work it out. I’m determined to make this work because I love you, Sunggyu.”

Looking at him with so much love and devotion, Sunggyu raised a hand to caress his cheek. “What can I do to make you happy again, Woohyun?”

Woohyun took the hand and kissed it. “Don’t ever bring up divorce again. If we fight, we fight and kiss and make up later. We talk and we work things out, just like any other healthy married couple out there. But, divorce will never be in our vocabulary, got it?”

When he finished speaking, Sunggyu was looking at him in wonder. Then, the older chuckled and kissed his forehead before hugging him tighter that Woohyun felt breathless.

“Ahhh, I don’t deserve you, you know.”

“You’re right, you don’t.” Woohyun smiled up at him. “But, lucky for you, I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

Sunggyu kissed his forehead again. “I don’t want anyone else either.”

“Good.”

One Friday afternoon, two weeks later, found Woohyun calmly making snacks of grilled cheese sandwiches. He put bacon in three of the sandwiches and cut the fourth one into little bite-sized square pieces. Just as he was putting them on a try along with cups of juice, he heard the door opening.

He brought the tray out into the living room just as Sunggyu entered with an, “I’m home!”

Getting up from couch where he had been watching Power Ranger DVDs, Myungsoo ran up to his father, unable to contain his excitement. But, it wasn’t his father he called out for.

“Donghyunnie! Donghyunnie!”

In Sunggyu’s arms, Donghyun squealed, raising his arm to reach out to his hyung.

“Hung!” he piped in his little baby voice as Myungsoo grabbed on to his hand.

Chuckling, Woohyun placed the tray of food onto the coffee table before heading over to his husband and the baby.

“Donghyun-ah!” he called out, his arms raised.

Catching sight of Woohyun, Donghyun turned his attention to him with a squeal of, “Bo! Bo!”

Apparently, because Sunggyu called Woohyun “yeobo” many times in his presence, the toddler had adapted to calling him “Bo” since he couldn’t say “yeo” quite yet.

It was cute.

Without a fuss, Donghyun was transferred to Woohyun’s arms and he gave the toddler a kiss on his chubby cheeks. He was getting so big already! How time flew!

Feeling a tug on his pants leg, Woohyun looked down to see a jealous looking Myungsoo. “It’s my turn with Donghyunnie!” he pouted.

Chuckling, Woohyun placed the toddler on his feet on the floor. Myungsoo wasted no time in hugging his brother before holding both of his hands and leading him to the couch so they could watch his show together. Woohyun proudly watched as Myungsoo made sure that Donghyun was settled before sitting on the couch himself. Then, the 7-year-old reached onto the coffee table to pick up a small piece of the bite-sized sandwich and give it to Donghyun before taking a sandwich for himself.

Their son was a very good big brother.

With the kids preoccupied and eating, Woohyun turned back to Sunggyu who was just putting the baby bag and a backpack of Donghyun’s clothes and things on to the floor.

Donghyun was staying with them for the weekend. And every other weekend after. It was Woohyun’s idea to have the toddler spend time with them in their own home. Sunggyu still visited him at the child’s mother’s home, but now he could have him for an entire weekend instead of a simple twice a week for a few hours visit. Woohyun felt that he needed this too. He needed to remind himself that Donghyun was someone important to Sunggyu too, so he could finally put a stop to these jealous feelings that would take over him from time to time. He needed to be reminded that he was sharing his husband, not with the woman who bore him a child, but with the child himself. With that thought, he can be reassured. Plus, Myungsoo was over the moon about it.

The older man caught sight of him watching before smiling and holding out his hand.

Woohyun took it and he was pulled into Sunggyu’s warm embrace, the older’s lips on his temple.

“Thank you,” Sunggyu whispered.

Woohyun chuckled. “What for?”

“Just… everything.”

He knew what the older man meant.

Sunggyu pressed a kiss to his lips before picking up Donghyun’s things again and taking them to Myungsoo’s room where he would be staying for his time there. They had already bought a crib for his use; Myungsoo had helped pick it out.

And as he watched their children interact and the happiness radiating from them, Woohyun realized that his world was just a little brighter, if only he had remembered to turn the light on every now and then.

Marriage wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t the perfect fairytale story you see in movies or read about in books. He and Sunggyu were bound to make mistakes. So many mistakes.

But, the last year alone had shown that no matter what life threw at them, they can still bounce back stronger than ever. As long as they didn’t let go, they can still experience happiness like this.

The future was still unclear. But, if they had each other, they would always make the best of it.

A/N: First, I apologize for this being so late! I had attempted to finish it Friday night, but... Well... Some bad feelings took over and so I wasn't up for writing very much, even though I had all the events of the chapter repeatedly playing in my head. I finally pulled myself together today and managed to finish it.

Second, WooGyu had another fight! I promise that this is the last one, though. I needed that fight so they can have another opportunity to have a couple talk and firmly establish the standing of their relationship. I think Sunggyu giving Woohyun the choice to leave him shows incredible growth and strength because he knows that he had hurt Woohyun so much. And being presented with that choice allows Woohyun to really figure out if he wants to stay or go. (You can disagree with me on that; it can be interpreted a different way.) Also, I used HOya's line in Reply 1997 "Liking someone is not a choice. It comes from your heart."

Third, I'm in love with Infinite's new album! I have been listening to it non-stop and impatiently waiting for my album to come in the mail. Do you guys have a favorite song? I can't pick a favorite at all! But I really love my Dongwoo's solo song, "Tell Me", "Why Me", "Break", and "I Hate". But, honestly, I love all the songs!

In honor of the new album, the inspiration for the title chapter is from "Tell Me."

Fourth, I forgot to wish everyone a Happy New Year during the last chapter! So, here it is... Happy New Year! I hope 2018 will be a better year for all of us.

This is going to get personal now, so feel free to skip if you don't want to read. But, I wrote a bit about my hope for the new year on my blog. But, I'll write a little bit about it here too.

So, last year in July 2017, my cousin was murdered. He was only 21. I was devastated and fell into a depressive state for a couple of months. That was why I was sort of absent for a while. And just when I thought I could gain some strength in 2018, we lost Jonghyun. And I guess everything bad that happened in 2017 just started piling up and I feel myself falling once more into that depressive state. I've already had several breakdowns, which is why my chapters have been late (so sorry!).

I've been thinking about a lot of things, lately...about Hoya.

Now, I know some of you still hold resentment for Hoya and his decision to leave Infinite. I did, too, for a while. But, hear me out. I re-watched Infinite's Showtime, recently. In the first episode, when Sunggyu was talking about how Hoya was frustrated about his injury, about how he felt like he was letting everyone down, I couldn't help but wonder at that moment that, perhaps, Hoya had been feeling inadequate and unhappy for a while, which he had to hide with smiles.

We know that being an idol has its fair share of hardships. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing. When you have a mental illness like depression (which I have no doubt that most members of Infinite have. When you've been through it, you can kind of see the signs in others who suffer as well), those feelings will continue to build up more and more until you feel like drowning, until you can't find a way out.

I fully believe that Hoya found his way out by leaving Infinite. I read the article of him talking about how he wanted to quit the idol life, but decided to stay for his fans and for his music. That decision couldn't have been easy because he knew that if he chose that path, he was going to hurt s and his fans, but he did it for his own happiness and peace of mind. And, judging from Sunggyu and Dongwoo talking so fondly about him, they have also made peace with it. Sunggyu said that he told the members at the time when they were talking about their contracts that he wouldn't judge them for leaving and I think those words helped Hoya make his decision because he knows that he has Sunggyu's back, no matter what. 

Hoya left Infinite with no regrets because he did all he could to make s and his fans happy in the 7 years that they spent together. And I'm actually quite happy that he did that for himself. 

I have been told this advice by another person and I think everyone needs to know it as well, especially with this new year: Taking care of yourself is not selfish. 

Guys, there is no shame in wanting to take care of yourself and in wanting to make yourself happy. Sometimes, other people won't like it and won't agree with it. But it's YOUR life and YOUR happiness on the line, not theirs. 

So, even if you no longer support Hoya, I hope you guys at least understand why he did what he did. Was he selfish? Yes, in a way, he was. But he was selfish for his sake; it was the kind of selfishness that is needed. If he continued to stay with Infinite when he wasn't happy, should we force him to? Do we have that right to make him miserable? We all want to be happy in our life, right? And we want our idols to be happy, right? 

After Jonghyun's loss, I realized that there are worse things that can happen to an idol group than a member leaving. It happened with Ladies' Code 3 years ago. It happened with SHINee last year. A member leaving to find happiness is not the worst thing. It will feel awful for a while, but you'll move on and you'll see both current and previous members happy with their lives. Lavelys and Shawols, however, might find some little joy in the future, but there will always be something missing.

Guys, give your idols love, all of them. Let them know how much you love and appreciate them while you have them with you. Always remind them that whatever they later choose to do, they will have no fear because you are with them. 

So, this is the last I will talk about Hoya's departure because I, too, want to move on. I will still feature him in future fics, if a role for him is needed. 

So, as the New Year begins, I hope we all begin it with less hate and resentment and have more love, forgiveness, and understanding in our hearts.

I’m going to honor Jonghyun by living in that way.

'Til the next one.

"As time goes on, memories of things that have disappeared or the pain of loss can grow pale and faint. Those things happen if we just lend ourselves to time, but if we don't compromise with time and commit ourselves to remembering those people, I think the things that disappeared may never have disappeared after all....... And I hope that from now on, those who were left behind will hurt less and remember more. That's the way I hope they'll live." - Kim Jonghyun