When Kim Sunggyu was growing up, he wanted for nothing. His father was a successful businessman and his mother an equally successful lawyer. He had an older sister who went down the lawyer path like their mother so, in turn, he went down the business path like their father.

His mother and father had, what many people would say didn’t exist, a perfect relationship. Despite their hectic work schedule and busy family life, they remained passionately and hopelessly in love. Even if they fought, they made up almost immediately and they never fought in front of the children.

Sunggyu wanted a love just like that and thus, he was always searching. He dated many, both men and women, hoping to find a love and a bond as strong as his parents. But, no matter how many people he pursued a relationship with, none of them felt quite right. No matter, he never lost hope. He continued to search, knowing that somewhere out there, someone is meant to fit him like a perfect puzzle piece.

He had almost lost hope until his friend and co-worker, Lee Howon, told him about this guy with pretty eyes, plump lips, and an adorable snaggletooth whom Howon’s boyfriend was trying to set someone up with.

His curiosity and interest piqued, Sunggyu volunteered himself. He hadn’t dated anyone in several months – his last partner had lasted no more than a month and was more of a casual hookup than an actual relationship.

When he met Nam Woohyun, he didn’t know what to make him of him at first. He was in his early 20’s yet he acted somewhat like a teenager. He even teased Sunggyu several times, telling him to lighten up. Sunggyu had thought about leaving before they’ve even finished the appetizers. It wasn’t until the younger mentioned his love for Nell that Sunggyu finally saw something that convinced him to stay – the sparkle in Woohyun’s pretty brown eyes.

And when Woohyun mentioned his son and passionately talked about him, something stirred in Sunggyu’s heart. Woohyun was an enigma and he wanted to know more about him. He asked him for a second date.

Before he knew it, he was meeting the man’s son and his family. He then introduced the younger to his own family, who were immediately taken by his bright personality, his passion for his work, and dedication as a father.

When they had reached their 1-year mark, Sunggyu knew Woohyun was the one. He was absolutely and positively sure of it and wasted no time in asking Mrs. Nam, Boohyun, and Myungsoo for permission (the little boy was already calling him “Appa” at that point) and bought a ring.

He proposed during a private dinner affair, surrounded by both their families and mutual friends.

Their marriage life was, for lack of a better word, perfect. Sunggyu was happy. Woohyun was happy. Little Myungsoo was happy. Sunggyu bragged about his family often, proudly proclaiming his love and adoration for them,

He was so very happy.

But, all of that shattered with just one mistake. One stupid, careless mistake.

He should have paid more attention to his secretary’s longing glances. He shouldn't have laughed off her little flirtations. He should have nipped it in the bud as soon as he realized how she felt about him.

He shouldn't have given in his moment of weakness the moment she flashed her pretty eyes burning with adoration and affection for him. 

But, he didn’t.

And now, she was pregnant. With his child.

He wasn’t surprised with how Woohyun reacted, he couldn’t blame him. So he barely dodged when the younger threw a vase at him. He took all of his yelling. He promised he would fix it.

Woohyun didn’t believe him.

That night, his husband didn’t come to bed with him. He couldn’t blame him. The bed felt cold and lonely, yet he endured it with high hopes that Woohyun would calm down in the morning and they could talk and he could properly apologize.

He woke up that morning feeling like . Automatically, his hands sought out the warmth and comfort of his husband’s presence. Of course, that side of the bed was cold and empty.

Sluggishly, he forced himself to get up and leave the bedroom. The entire condo was quiet, barely a sound to be heard. He padded down the hall and paused outside his son’s door.

Tacked on to the piece of wood was a childish drawing of a cat, hamster, and puppy. According to the creative 6-year-old, it was their family.

What was he supposed to say? “Sorry” clearly wasn’t enough. He could grovel and beg for forgiveness. Would Woohyun forgive him? He didn’t mean to betray him. He loved him. He loved him and their son more than anything. Oh God, their son. What would Myungsoo think of him now?

Sunggyu knew he was stalling and trying to delay inevitable. So, gathering all his strength, he pushed the door open, gently.

It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the darkness and when it did, his brow furrowed in confusion. The bed was empty, the sheets all in disarray.

Filled with an overwhelming sense of dread, Sunggyu stepped into the room and looked around, his ear perked up, wondering if Myungsoo was simply in the bathroom. But there was nothing; only silence.

For a moment, he wondered if Woohyun had already taken Myungsoo to school. But, the Pororo digital clock on the bedside said it was only 7:30am. Myungsoo didn’t leave for school until an hour from then.

Unless…

Sunggyu scanned the room again, his heart throbbing, painfully. He felt like he was running out of air.

Myungsoo’s stuffed cat Byeol was gone. He could never sleep without it. Myungsoo was gone… which meant that Woohyun was too.

He suddenly felt like fainting.

“Myungsoo… Myungsoo, baby, it’s time to wake up,” Woohun cooed, gently patting the 6-year old’s back.

The little boy let out a little whine before his opening his eyes and blinking up sleepily at his father.

“Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning, Papa.”

Woohyun smiled and stood up. “Come on, it’s time for school. Let’s get ready.”

But, Myungsoo remained on the bed as he took that moment to finally look around, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Where are we, Papa?” he asked.

Woohyun forced his smile to stay as he answered, “We’re at Halmeoni’s. Remember, we left really early this morning? You slept in the car.”

It took a moment but Myungsoo eventually nodded. But, his next words had Woohyun scrambling for an answer.

“Where’s Appa?” the little boy asked, innocently.

His father swallowed the lump in his throat. “He’s… at home. And the two of us are staying at Halmeoni’s for a bit, okay?”

Myungsoo tilted his head to the side as he clutched his stuffed cat Byeol close to his chest. “Why?”

With a sigh, Woohyun sat back on the bed and tried to smile at his son. “We just need to stay here for a while. Besides, don’t you miss Halmeoni? She missed you.”

“I do.” Myungsoo nodded, eagerly as be broke into his first smile of the day. “I miss Halmeoni.”

“Then why don’t we get ready, hmm? I hear she’s cooking a very special breakfast for us right now.”

With a cheer, Myungsoo jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, calling for his father to hurry up.

As soon as his son was out of sight, Woohyun finally allowed the smile to fall. It was painful to pretend that things were okay. He didn’t want to take Myungsoo away from Sunggyu, but Woohyun couldn’t bear to stay there either.

Not with his husband’s betrayal hanging over their heads. It was too much for his poor heart. So, even though he missed him, he couldn’t bear to be around him. He needed space. Or else he would say or do something he would later regret.

“Gone? What do you mean gone?”

“I mean gone as in they left, Howon! Woohyun left me!”

Sunggyu ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he paced around his office. His shirt was wrinkled and his tie was not properly knotted. In short, he looked like one of his subordinates who he often reprimanded for being disheveled.

Sitting on the chair in front of the desk was Howon, flashing him worried looks. The COO had called him into his office in a panic and told him everything as soon as he had entered.

Among his friends, Howon was the only one he told about Eunseo’s pregnancy and he had been sworn to secrecy. They had known each other since high school and were the best of friends, practically brothers. When Howon was discovering his uality, he confided in Sunggyu and vice versa. Among his friends and co-workers, Howon was the one he trusted the most and vice versa.

“M-Maybe they just left for school early,” Howon said, trying to reassure him. “You know how Woohyun is, maybe he just needed some time to cool off.”

“I checked our closet and the laundry room. Some of his things are missing. Myungsoo’s too. They left, Howon!” He sank into his office chair. “I don’t know what to do.”

He sounded defeated. Across from him, Howon could only look on in sympathy.

Sunggyu had tried calling Woohyun all morning but all his calls were unanswered until they all just immediately went to voicemail, indicating that the phone had been turned off. He left the other messages, begging him to come home, to forgive him, to talk to him, anything.

“Well, you know Woohyun the most, where do you think he would go at this time?” Howon asked, another attempt to help, which Sunggyu appreciated. “Hotel?”

Sunggyu shook his head. “Hotels cost too much, he wouldn’t spend on it, if he could.”

“An inn, then?”

“Doubt it.”

“Did you call the restaurant? Maybe he’s there and you can just pop in.”

“I did before you came up. He called in sick.”

“Oh…” Howon pursed his lips in thought. “His brother’s?”

“He wouldn’t want to impose on Boohyun, they have a 2-year-old.”

“Then… his mother’s?”

Sunggyu paused at that. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched for Woohyun to go to his mother’s. And it wouldn’t be the first time that Myungsoo had stayed over at his grandmother’s, Mrs. Nam loved him to death.

“Why don’t you go during your lunch?” Howon suggested. “Maybe you two can talk it out.”

That was what they needed – to talk. Sunggyu had to beg him for forgiveness. He wouldn’t make excuses, he knew part of the blame was his. He would to Mrs. Nam’s house and get on his knees on the ground if it meant Woohyun would talk to him and come home.

Set on his plan, he anxiously waited for the lunch hour to arrive. He normally took his lunch in the office with a homemade bento. Woohyun made one for him every night and the one he had for today sat in his personal fridge. He felt too guilty to eat it.

When it was finally lunch hour, he began putting his work away. A knock came on the door just as he was slipping papers into folders.

“Come in,” he called out, not looking up from his task.

He heard the door open and close.

“U-Um… Sajang-nim…”

At the familiar female voice, Sunggyu froze. He looked up to see a nervous-looking Eunseo. He hadn’t seen her all morning since he came in late and in a daze. He probably passed her a few times and didn’t notice.

Park Eunseo was a lovely woman, Sunggyu could not deny that. Her eyes were huge, her nose high and sharp, and her lips thin and pink. Her hair was a natural, lustrous black. She wasn’t too tall nor too short. And she was a hard worker. Any man would be lucky to have her.

That man wasn't him.

In the secretary’s perfectly-manicured hands were a stack of folders. “Um…” She shifted uneasily from foot to foot. “These need your signature.”

His eyes couldn’t help but shift to her stomach. His child. Somewhere inside that slim figure, his own and flesh and blood was growing. He knew he was supposed to be thrilled but the circumstances were less than desirable.

He tore his gaze away and gestured for her to put the folders down on the table. Eunseo stepped forward and did just that. Their eyes met and she immediately turned red and looked away.

They were enveloped in silence, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Sunggyu was feeling very uncomfortable so he stood up and grabbed his briefcase.

“Cancel all my meetings this afternoon,” he said, putting his phone inside the leather case and taking out his keys. “I’ll look at these tomorrow and will sign them then. They’re not urgent, right?”

“N-No… B-But…”

“Then it’s settled. I’m taking the rest of the day off and you should too.”

“Y-yes, sir.”

Eunseo bowed her head in respect as he passed her, heading for the door.

Before he opened it, he steeled himself. “I meant what I said last night, Eunseo-shii. I’ll take responsibility for the child and only the child. So, I expect you to file for maternity leave when you reach your sixth month. Just send the form straight to my desk tomorrow morning and I’ll approve it with HR.”

There was a short pause before he heard the reply, “Y-Yes, sir… thank you.”

Without another word, Sunggyu opened the door and left his office.

He felt a little cruel towards her and maybe he was.

But, all he could find himself thinking of were his husband and his son. His family. He had hurt them with this mistake. And he would fix it, if it was the last thing he did.

With a determined heart, he picked up a bouquet of roses and drove to Woohyun’s childhood home in a simple suburban area in Seoul. He had offered his mother-in-law several times a new home closer to the city, but the woman was insistent on staying there.

“For the memories” she had said.

Half an hour later, he was standing outside the familiar door. He was wracked with nerves and, dared he say it, fear. Gathering all his nerve, he pressed the doorbell.

It took a minute or so for the door to open and he was face-to-face with his mother-in-law.

She looked rather surprised to see him but immediately schooled her features to look indifferent. She looked like Woohyun that way, which caused the guilt in Sunggyu’s heart to multiply tenfold. Her youngest son was so much like her.

“Sunggyu, I didn’t expect to see you,” she stated with a raised brow.

Politely and respectfully, Sunggyu bowed, deeply. “Omo-nim,” he greeted.

She tilted her head in response.

“Is… Is Woohyun here?” he asked, slowly raising himself from the bow.

“Yes, your husband is here,” Mrs. Nam answered, matter-of-factly.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Sunggyu had to ask, “Woohyun told you?”

“My son tells me everything, especially when his faithful husband became unfaithful.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “How could you, Sunggyu?”

Truth be told, Sunggyu had been asking himself the same question for weeks now. He felt shame seep into his every pore that he couldn’t help but bow again. “Omo-nim, if you would permit me, I need to talk to Woohyun,” he practically begged.

To his surprise, Mrs. Nam only sighed, crossing her arms. “You know, after dropping Myungsoo off at school, he had been shut up in his room all morning. Could barely even eat breakfast.”

Sunggyu’s heart sank at that. "O-Omo-nim… you have to believe me. It was an accident. A mistake. It didn’t mean anything. I don’t even remember… Omo-nim, I love Woohyun! I love Woohyun so much and I just want him and Myungsoo to come home! I will fix this, I promise that I will!”

“How? You impregnated a woman, Sunggyu. You have a child. How do you think Woohyun feels?”

“I… I know I messed up. Big time. And I will spend the rest of my life making it up to Woohyun, but I just… I need him to know that I love him… only him.”

“And what will you do with the child?”

“I…” Sunggyu’s grip on the bouquet of roses tightened. “I… I don’t know… But, I’ll support it as much as I can. I won’t deprive an innocent child of a father.”

“But, will you deprive your husband of a partner?” Mrs. Nam asked, eyebrow raised.

“No! No, I would never! I won’t leave Woohyun!”

“And Myungsoo?”

“Myungsoo is my son and will always be my son. That was decided the day I asked Woohyun to marry me.”

Mrs. Nam stared at him with a steeled look and Sunggyu almost felt like running away. But, he stood his ground. This was for his family. He would brave every storm for them. He would face his mother-in-law’s wrath for them. He would get them back, whatever it takes.

“Woohyun loves you, you know,” Mrs. Nam said in a whisper, her body visibly relaxing. “He’s hurt so much because he loves you so much. And right now, he can’t bear to see you.” She sighed. “You know, when his father left, Woohyun was very young yet old enough to understand that his father wanted nothing to do with us anymore. And this… this incident… your mistake… I’m sure it brought back all those old feelings… those feelings of betrayal, of not being good enough… You know how sensitive your husband is.”

Sunggyu swallowed. “I… I know… I hurt him so badly.”

Mrs. Nam flashed him a pointed look. “But, I hope you don’t give up on him. You two… you’ve faced many things together. You can’t let this one thing destroy what you both worked so hard to build.”

Sunggyu’s eyes widened and then his heart was suddenly full with gratitude for his mother-in-law. She was allowing him to pursue Woohyun, to apologize for his mistakes and make things better. She believed his feelings were sincere.

He bowed deeply again, saying his thanks to her. “I promise to fix this. I will.”

Just as he straightened up, he heard shuffling noises and the familiar voice of his husband calling for his mother.

“Umma? Who’s at the door?”

Sunggyu felt his heart leap when Woohyun showed up at the door behind his mother.

The younger’s hair was mussed up, his shirt wrinkled along with his pajama pants. There were dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes. He obviously had been crying and most likely didn’t get any sleep.

Sunggyu just wanted to take him in his arms and hold him, tell him he was sorry, and promise that he would make it up to him.

When Woohyun caught sight of him, he narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Sunggyu swallowed. “C-Can we talk? Please?”

The younger scoffed.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Nam only sighed and reached out for the flowers in Sunggyu’s hands. “I’ll take these and put them in water.”

Sunggyu nodded at her in thanks and soon, only he and Woohyun were left by the doorway. The corporate man knew that his husband had no intention of inviting him inside.

Arms crossed and the most annoyed look on his face, Woohyun continued to glare at him. “What makes you think I want to talk to you?”

“I… I know I’m the last person you want to see-.”

“Yes, you are.”

Sunggyu swallowed again and nodded. “I… I know it will take more than just a ‘sorry’ to get you to forgive me. But, Woohyun, know that I love you and I’ll do anything for you. Anything.”

For a few moments, Woohyun was silent. It wasn’t difficult to try and make himself look pathetic because that was exactly how Sunggyu felt. He was pathetic and an idiot, there was no doubt about that. At this point, he was relying on his husband’s kindness, but he also knew that even a compassionate and empathetic being like Woohyun had limits.

In front of him, his husband closed his eyes as he sighed.

“You know… I would have easily forgiven you if you had just told me what happened,” he finally said. “It was just , right? There were no feelings involved. I can forgive that.” He opened his eyes, the brown irises shining with tears about to fall. “But, you kept it from me. You had with someone else and you had two months to tell me, but you didn’t. If she had never gotten pregnant…. If I had never heard your conversation, would you still have told me? Or would have you have kept that a secret too? That I’d be obliviously married to you while you’re taking care of another kid on the side?”

“I…” But, Sunggyu couldn’t go on because he had no idea what he would have done either.

Everything just happened so fast and quick that he barely had time to breathe in between.

His silence made Woohyun turn away. “I don’t want to see you right now, Sunggyu. It… it hurts.”

And without another backward glance, Woohyun closed the door, leaving Sunggyu alone on the doorstep with only his shame and hurt pride.

Six-year-old Kim Myungsoo knew that something was wrong. The very moment his Papa entered his room last night and fell asleep there, he knew that something wasn’t right. He heard something break, he heard yelling, he heard his Papa crying. He pretended to be asleep so he wouldn’t worry his father, but he heard everything.

He didn’t like it.

“What’s wrong, Myungie?” his best friend, Lee Sungyeol, asked him during recess.

They were out on the playground, having snacks before they go to play with the other kids.

The older by a few months boy held out his bag of cookies. “Do you want to share?”

Myungsoo would normally say “yes” but he wasn’t feeling up to it, so he just shook his head, his mouth still in a frown.

His other best friend, Lee Sungjong, handed him an unopened carton of strawberry-flavored milk. “We can trade, if you want,” he offered. “This one’s your favorite.”

For that, he considered, but eventually, he shook his head. “I miss Appa,” he simply said, with a pout. “I didn’t see him this morning.”

“Why not?” Sungyeol asked.

“Papa took us to Halmeoni’s this morning. I was so sleepy that I forgot to say bye-bye to Appa.”

Beside him, Sungjong gasped. “Did your appa and papa have a fight?”

At that, Myungsoo’s eyes widened before contemplating the situation. “I… I don’t know.”

“That’s ‘cause when my umma and appa fight, umma always takes me and my brother to our halmeoni’s and we stay there for a week. We stayed a month one time!”

This time, it was Myungsoo who gasped, feeling panicked. “A month? I don’t want to be away from Appa for a month! That’s like forever!”

For the rest of the school day, the 6-year-old continued to be gloomy. He still did his work, diligently, yet he wasn’t as excited about learning that day as he usually was. By the time the last bell rang, he sluggishly followed his classmates to their cubbies and take out his things. On either side of him, Sungyeol and Sungjong flashed each other worried looks as they said goodbye to their teachers and headed out to where their guardians waited.

With hooded eyes, Myungsoo looked around, looking for his Papa. Instead, he caught sight of someone else. That someone was waving at him with a bright smile and a call of his name.

Immediately, Myungsoo’s frown turned upside down into a huge smile. “Appa!”

He said goodbye to his friends before running over to the adult and jumping into his open arms.

“Appa! Appa! You’re here!” he cheered, tightening his arms around the man’s neck.

His Appa laughed as he hugged him tight. “Were you surprised?” he asked, pulling back to look at him. “I bet you didn’t think you’d see me today.”

Myungsoo shook his head before pouting a little. “I’m sorry I didn’t say ‘bye’ to you this morning. I was so sleepy that I forgot.”

His Appa laughed as he ruffled Myungsoo’s hair. “It’s okay, baby. It’s not your fault.” He gently put him down but didn’t let go of his shoulders. “Hey, do you want ice cream? I’ll buy.”

Myungsoo nodded but before they could even move, he heard his own name being called out in an angry tone.

He turned towards the voice. “Papa!” he called out, a little confused.

Why did his Papa look so angry? And why was he glaring at his Appa?

To Myungsoo’s surprise, the other adult took him by the arms and pulled him away from his Appa.

“What are you doing, Kim Sunggyu?” he hissed.

His Appa’s eyes widened. “Well, I was hoping to take him out for ice cream.”

“Not without my permission!”

It was Myungsoo’s Appa’s turn to look angry. “Since when? He’s my son too!”

“On paper.”

His Appa suddenly looked hurt. “Wait, Woohyun-.”

But, his Papa had grabbed Myungsoo’s hand and began to pull him away, walking quickly. The little boy struggled to keep up. Still confused at what was going on, he turned his head around to see his Appa following them, calling his Papa’s name and Myungsoo’s.

“Papa.” He began to tug at the hand holding his, wanting nothing more than to go back to his Appa. “Papa, I want to get ice cream with Appa. Please?”

He hoped that by saying “please”, his Appa would say “yes”. He hoped that maybe if his Appa bought his Papa ice cream too, he wouldn’t be mad anymore.

But, he was sorely disappointed when his Papa said, “No, Myungsoo. We’re going home, now.”

Myungsoo had no choice but to get inside the backseat of the car and allow his Papa to strap him into his booster seat. As soon as all the buckles were set, his Papa quickly closed the door. From his seat inside, he could see his Appa finally caught up to them.

“Woohyun, you can’t do this!”

“Yes, I can! I’m his father!”

“So am I! Look, I know I made a mistake but don’t drag Myungsoo into it! He’s my son too!”

“No, he’s mine.”

“Yeobo, please.” He tried to take Myungsoo’s Papa’s hand but his Papa moved away.

“Don’t call me that!”

The adult then got into the car, quickly locking the doors. Myungsoo looked up at his Appa’s face through the window, worriedly and wanting to comfort him. The man was crying but smiling when he saw Myungsoo looking. He waved.

“I’ll come see you, okay? I promise!” he called out before the car began to move and soon, he was gone.

Myungsoo unbuckled the strap at this stomach and got up on his knees to look out the back window, hoping to catch a glimpse of his Appa. But, he couldn’t see him anymore. Immediately, his eyes filled with tears.

Why was his Papa so cruel?

“Myungsoo, sit down, baby, please. It’s not safe. And put the straps back on.”

He obeyed, diligently strapping himself back in. He pouted.

“Why can’t Appa and I get ice cream?” he mumbled.

His Papa sighed. “If you really want ice cream, we can get some on the way, okay?”

“But, I want it with Appa.”

“You can get it with me too.”

“But-.”

“Myungsoo, please! Just… don’t argue with me. Not today, okay?”

Feeling hurt, Myungsoo turned his head away and looked out the window. He could feel his lips quivering as he tried to hold his tears back, but soon enough, they started to fall.

A/N: Poor Myungsoo! He doesn't know what's going on! He knows something is wrong but no one's telling him anything!

And you can't really blame Woohyun for acting the way he did. He said a few things out of anger, but that's a normal reaction when you've been betrayed. It's natural for him to want to protect Myungsoo as well. After all, when you think about it, Myungsoo is Sunggyu's son on paper but Eunseo's unborn child is his blood. Woohyun is afraid that his son would be cast aside, just like he was when his father left them.

Anywho, this is only the second chapter and there is plenty more in store so stay tuned!

The chapter title was inspired by Sunggyu's solo song, "Alive", which I love, love, love!

Til the next one!