Jinju's POV

I slurped the final noodle from my bowl before putting my chopsticks back on the table, waiting for the rest of my family to finish eating.

No one said a word. Family dinners are supposed to bring the family together, right? I sat up straighter and tried to think of a good conversation starter.

"I got a 98 on my History test," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. My parents looked up from their meal and simply stared at me.

"You're supposed to be getting that. In fact, why don't you have a 100?" Appa retorted, and I instantly regretted opening my mouth.

"She got a 65 last time, you know," Eomma added, and I felt tears beginning to form deep inside. Myungsoo-oppa kicked my knee under the table, then gave me a thumbs up.

I love my older brother... especially at times like this.

"You spend too much time worrying about god damn math and that stupid iPod of yours. Instead of going to a higher math class, why don't you ing worry about your other subjects!" Appa began to yell, and I continued to stare blankly at my empty bowl.

I... I was just trying to make conversation.

I remained silent. 

"You know, when I was younger, I would always study or do work before even eating, and I always got 100 on my tests," eomma added before nonchalantly slurping another noodle.

I'm sorry I'm not perfect like you two.

"What do you really do when you stay after school for tutoring? Hm? Go around with Woohyun and his delinquent friends? Go to the mall? HUH?" Appa stared at me with icy, threatening eyes.

"Tutori-"

"You can never, ever do anything right. Anything. Stupid piece of ."

And with that, appa sent his belt flying across my face.

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Myungsoo-oppa went up to his room and my parents were in the living room watching their dramas. I let the steaming hot water of the tap fall over my hands, creating suds in the sink. I scrubbed the food residue off of everyone's bowls. Dishes must be clean. I don't want to create another reason for me to be yelled at.

Dishes... I hate doing them, but they give me a moment of silence to myself. Plus, if I cry, no one sees me because they're too busy to notice. Not that I'm crying right now... but I am on the verge of crying.

A forceful shove interuppted my peace, and I saw eomma's worn hands yank the sponge and bowl from me. "Too slow. TOO ING SLOW. You can never move fast enough. You're like a robot. You have to be told every exact thing to do and how to do it."  I stood there, unsure of what to do. "GO UP TO YOUR ROOM!"

Well, that answered my question.

Why can't they ever say things nicely? Why do they think yelling will solve everything? I respect them. I don't swear at them. I don't ask for much! I see my friends bonding so happily with their families, as if they're best friends. Maybe I shouldn't be whining. I could be in a worse situation.

But I'm just an overly emotional wallflower.

I slowly trudged up the stairs to my room, clenching my fists and gritting my teeth. Don't cry again, don't cry again, don't cry again. 

I pulled my iPod from my pocket and plunged the headphones into my ears, thinking some music would calm me down. I pressed play and listened to whatever was on at the moment.

It's okay baby please don't cry ~

Sigh... Park Bom, you're not helping. I should probably shuffle my playlist. I pressed the forward button on my iPod and waited for the next song.

I also practiced how to secretly cry while smiling but 

I feel like my trembling voice will give it away quickly.

I gave my iPod a cold stare before smiling the slightest of all smiles at it. It always knows just how I feel. Thank you, iPod, for playing me FT Island's Severely when I need it. 

I unlocked my door and silently went in my room, slowly shutting the door so it wouldn't make a single noise. Slowly walking towards my bed, I threw myself onto it with a plop. Then I remembered my calculus notebook. Let out your feelings, Jinju. Let it out to the only thing that will listen.

I scrambled towards my backpack, shuffling through the several notebooks and textbooks before finding my signature red calculus notebook. I opened the back cover and flipping to the next clean page. I stared at the college-ruled lines and with my quivering hand, grabbed a purple pen. 

Before I could write the first raging sentence, my cheek stung with pain, and I took a look at myself in the mirror. Bits of skin were ripped off of my face when the leather belt slapped me. A dried trickle of blood was still on my cheek.

Actions speak louder than words.

I crumpled the whole notebook in my hands before mindlessly throwing it out of my window, then falling back onto my bed. I grabbed at my hair and pulled at it frustratedly. This is crazy. Crazy. I have issues.

The last thing I saw before falling asleep was the red LED time on my alarm clock: 8:48PM.

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"Dongsaeng, I told you to be online at 9! I wanted to chat with you! I misssssssed you!" Jieun playfully clawed at my arm. I furrowed my brows and scoffed before turning in the opposite direction. "Jinju, are you on your period? Are you PMS-ing?"

I stared at the ground expressionless. "No. I'm not on my period."

"Then what? You know you can tell me. I'm here for you, dongsaeng." Jieun curled a stray piece of hair behind my ear, exposing my wounded cheek. "Jinju? What happened here?" From the way I remained speechless, she could tell exactly why. "Your parents?"

I nodded. Jieun hugged me, but I remained stiff as a tree while her noodley arms wrapped around my body. I admit, even her pep and love couldn't make up for last night's events. 

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Hello hello! How are you all? :D Two people unsubscribed... was my shameless advertising enough to drive you away? =.= TT_TT You will dearly be missed. 

Until the next update! ♥ I love you all.

Edit: Scratch that, three people left me now. D: AT LEAST I KNOW THE REST OF YOU STILL HAVE FAITH IN ME.

But still, it kills me inside... it keeeeeeeeelsssss meeeeeeeee. ;-; A little part of me dies with every unsubscribe.