Chapter 3 - Tired of Holding Back

During interviews from 2008-2011, Yunho always said that Seoul Tower is a place he liked to go for dates.

Now that he has a date, he brings Jaejoong to Seoul Tower.

They were your typical lovey-dovey couple, whispering and giggling about while taking the ride up to the top of Seoul Tower. It was Yunho and Jaejoong, and they had to hide two facts: One, they are both celebrities, and two, they are both males. Wearing hoodies and caps are a must during their walks. Jaejoong even wore a face mask.

Once they arrived at the top, the breeze welcomed them and it was cold. Perhaps because it was late at night. There were actually no people around, so Jaejoong was confident enough to remove his mask. He put his arms on the railing and leaned on it, while looking at the city view. They’ve been here many times before the split, usually with friends. He enjoyed it, and both him and Yunho admired the thousands of lights from the city.

“Isn’t it like we’re performing together again?” Jaejoong mused. The view was akin to looking at the audience during their concerts.

Yunho felt exactly the same. “Uh huh.” He smiled. “It feels good.”

All the little lights reminded them of the stadium filled with love and support from everyone. The only thing different is that they’re not in the spotlight.

It’s a weird special feeling. For them it means they could just be, without pretenses or being on-guard.

Jaejoong started to ponder. “Do you ever think we’ll be forgotten?” He asked Yunho.

It was a vague question, but Yunho understood. The taller man knew the feeling all too well. Isn’t it why he chose to keep the name TVXQ? To protect it so they would survive.

“It’s scary thinking about it,” Jaejoong laughed softly. There was no other purpose for them but to sing and dance, and he faced that harshly during the split.

“Of course we’ll be forgotten,” Yunho said as a matter-of-factly. “But not anytime soon.”

His words gave comfort to Jaejoong. “We’ll be performing in our 80s.” He laughed.

Yunho also laughed. “Yes, we’ll be holding crutches while holding hands,” he said while imitating an old person holding a crutch.

“I’ll be singing Hug,” Jaejoong said and started to sing their debut song in an old man’s voice.

Yunho didn’t leave him hanging and sang the next lines, giving it his best granpa voice. Jaejoong burst out laughing.

The night was cold but it didn’t bother them. They looked at each other and shared a gentle kiss.

Jaejoong then remembered the song Micky sent him. “Yunho-yah, that song ‘Tethered Ship’, was that for me?” He asked and looked at Yunho with sparkle in his eyes. He was fishing for more loving words.

Yunho knew what Jaejoong was up to, but he chose to answer with, “Huh. No, that was for Ara.”

BIG mistake for Yunho. He didn’t know that his little joke would send Jaejoong into a sudden fit of rage.

“Go Ara?!” Jaejoong shouted while he looked at Yunho. The cute, light moment they were having turned a bit tense.

Yunho immediately realized his mistake and tried to calm down Jaejoong, “It’s a joke. It’s a joke.”

But Jaejoong was fuming. ‘A joke?!’ He repeated in his head. How could Yunho even think this was an acceptable joke? Mentioning Go Ara had always been like putting salt on a wound to Jaejoong. When their group had split, Yunho had gotten close with her and there were news upon news of the two being seen even outside work. Separated from Yunho, Jaejoong couldn't be sure which was an act or not. Either way, it hurt. Go Ara is a beautiful per