Chapter 28 - Keshou (Makeup)

I've come to think that make up is really not that important

But at least for tonight, I want to be beautiful
Because tonight, I'm going to meet you
Because I’m going to see you for the last time
 

Give me back the letters that I sent you
Don’t look at them with someone else
Carrying all the memories you threw away like garbage
I run home at night on the road I know so well

Tears, don’t fall, stay in my heart
Tears, don’t fall, just until the bus leaves

I’m a fool, I’m a fool, I’m a fool, ain’t I?
Wishing that you would love me?
I’m a fool, I’m a fool, I’m a fool, but even so,

I hoped I could receive your love

I've come to think that make up is just really not that important
But even if I die tonight, I want to be beautiful
If I knew it would be like this, I wouldn’t have left you
In the end, I want to be remembered by you

Tears, don’t fall, stay in my heart
Tears, don’t fall, just until the bus leaves
Oh Tears, don’t fall, stay in my heart
Tears, don’t fall, just until the bus leaves

I’m a fool, I’m a fool, I’m a fool, ain’t I?
Wishing that you would love me?
I’m a fool, I’m a fool, I’m a fool, but even so,

I hoped I could receive your love

Kim Jaejoong was sitting in front of a mirror in his house. With his fingers, he dabbed the cream gently under his eyes and outwards to his cheek. “Ahh, how is this layered on again…” He thought. For more than a year, he’s only been using sun cream in the army and nothing else, so putting on makeup had become slightly strange to him. After finishing the base, he then took out a small cylindrical tube, unscrewed its body and brushed his eyebrows with it, changing the natural shade of the hair above his eyes.

“How about… eyeliner?” He raised a black pencil and thought about it. “Ohh… it’s too much…” He put it back and took another one from the pouch beside him. “Brown then!” He proceeded to color the sides of his eyes.

The last he did was swipe a small glossy brush on his lips, enhancing the shade of his own. He then looked at his work in the mirror and checked everywhere… hair, eyebrows, eyes, cheeks, lips… suddenly, an embarrassment crept in him. “Ah... this is too much!!” He crouched down and didn’t want to see himself.

Still, he went with it, since his phone already kept buzzing on the desk. It’d be alright if he overdid his makeup, it’s night time anyway, it won’t be noticed much… “Oh, it won’t be noticed??” He felt a bit disappointed as he took his phone and his bag. Of course, he still wanted to look good. He then took his facemask before going to the door and putting it on. “Oh right, I’ll be wearing a face mask too!” Jaejoong grunted and almost wanted to face palm himself from the absurdity.

Why is he so nervous anyway?? It’s not like Yunho hadn’t seen his face with or without makeup.

“It’s been a while since we went out like this,” a tall man wearing a black cap and sweater told Jaejoong as they walked along han river that night.

“Yeah.” It’s late in the year already and a lot of things happened which didn’t give them enough chance to meet. “Cold winds are back,” said Jaejoong, talking about the weather and implying that time passed by quickly.

But Yunho didn’t hear this. “What’d you say?” He asked.

Jaejoong pulled down his facemask, faced Yunho and repeated what he said, “Cold winds are here. It’s almost December again,” he told the taller man who stopped in his tracks and looked at Jaejoong with slightly wide eyes.

“What is it?”

“You look beautiful,” Yunho smiled at him.

“B-beautiful?” A blush crept onto Jaejoong’s cheeks. “I’m not!”

“But you are… When I saw your face, my heart skipped a beat,” Yunho told him honestly.

Jaejoong did want to look good, but his face still burned from what Yunho said.

“It went kyuun kyuun,” Yunho then added for more emphasis and gestured the heartbeat with his hands.

The other man laughed from his silliness and began walking again as if not wanting to show his embarassment. “kyuun kyuun? Ahaha isn’t it doki doki?”

Yunho followed him and bumped him gently on the shoulder. “Beautiful Jaejoongiee~” He called cutely.

Jae bumped him back while laughing. “Stop!”

But the other man kept doing it in that cold night, “kyuun kyuun~!” Yunho would say and liked how it made his beloved Jaejoong laugh shyly.

After taking a long stroll, they had lied down on the grass and the river was their view. That late of a night, not much people go there, and if there had been passersby, they wouldn’t be noticed, so the two had removed their facemask and caps and just enjoyed the cool breeze and the stars that watched over them.

“Cassiopeia…” Jaejoong pointed at the night sky full of stars. He had always stared at the letter 'W' above whenever there were cloudless nights, but he didn’t know if he still deserved that constellation for him, so he pulled his hand back quickly.

Ever since the split, Cassiopeia was also divided, and the new fans now support TVXQ the duo, which was apt. Jaejoong accepted it fully.

Yunho then slid his hand to Jaejoong’s hand that he pulled back from the insecurity. “There are still Cassiopeia who support all five…” He told him. “Fans go up to me saying they miss us all.”

Jaejoong wiped a tear that escaped his eye. “Ahh… That happens to me too.” He couldn’t repay the support that fans give them. “I tell them I don’t want to go back,” he laughed. The three worked hard to build a name for themselves. Yunho and Changmin worked hard to keep TVXQ alive. All of them grew and found more strength because of what happened. It’s not right to go back.